Last edited by felafel; 07-14-2012 at 01:55 AM.
In my case I just want the Se/Ni valuer to cease their muzzle digging and let me deal with whatever health issue myself, as it's not their affair to make a big deal of. Though you might be talking about something entirely unique, this is how I perceive it at the other end.
Well, what you don't do is coddle them, in case they are seeking attention which will only feed their insecurities and not help the problem.
If there is real cognitive dissonance going on, and they are really in pain or are suffering, I'd advise being strict with them and pushing them to get help. If it's not serious, just don't put up with it.
I've noticed it in Delta and Alpha types, but not enough to say it's definitely type related.
If you care about their physical well-being that is.
First of all, unless you are their parent or care provider, it is not your responsibility to act as such.
Secondly, if they are capable adults, it is not your responsibility to make decisions for them.
If they complain, let them talk about it a couple of minutes, maybe ask a few questions aimed at helping them see if there,s a pattern/cause/solution to the pain, then change the subject to something else. They will have been heard, their pain was acknowledged, they learned something about their pain without being told what to do, and now it's time to move on to a relating topic. Otherwise, you're only relating with them based on their pain. This is one sided, not a relationship. Unless, of course, you are ok with that being the sole basis of how you relate with them.
If they do not bring up the subject of their pain to you, but you notice they are in pain, try doing little things for them like opening the door, asking if you can carry something (not for them, but because it,s something you would like to do), etc. They may be the type that is trying to ignore the pain, or move past it, for whatever reason. In this case, distractions help, whether it's you pattering away about whatever's going on in your life, or watching a show, reading a book, playing a game, whatever allows them to escape the pain for a bit. The less decision making they have to do, the less critical thinking they have to do, the easier time they'll have of distancing themselves from the pain.
As for the people who are too dull to seek help, ask them what they need, and then let them know what you can help with. If they say nothing to the first question, still make the offer. Hey, if you ever need a ride to the dr's, I can take you. I know that driving while in pain can be a bit dangerous, so let me take care of that part while you focus on getting healthy. (or some such) there, you've brought it to their attention that maybe they need help, that it's ok to need help, and that help is available. The choice is now theirs as to accept it or not...just like an adult.
And no, it is not your fault if you don't take over their life/health for them.
If they have reached a point of being incapable of making decisions regarding their health/pain, then it may be time to inform a responsible family member. If it is your family, then maybe it's time to hold a family meeting to decide what to do.
Basically, don't take on the responsibility, unless that's what you actually want to do.
IEE 649 sx/sp cp
Dual type (as per tcaudilllg)
Enneagram 2w1sw(1w9) helps others to live up to their own standards of what a good person is and is very behind the scenes in the process.
Tritype 1-2-6 stacking sp/sx
I'm constantly looking to align the real with the ideal.I've been more oriented toward being overly idealistic by expecting the real to match the ideal. My thinking side is dominent. The result is that sometimes I can be overly impersonal or self-centered in my approach, not being understanding of others in the process and simply thinking "you should do this" or "everyone should follor this rule"..."regardless of how they feel or where they're coming from"which just isn't a good attitude to have. It is a way, though, to give oneself an artificial sense of self-justification. LSE
Best description of functions:
In my experience, an Si type is more likely to mention discomfort as an important fact and an Ne type is more likely to tell people about discomfort in hopes of receiving .
And wherever Maritsa gets her data, it does not resonate with mine.
Psychosomatic symptoms/hypochondria has been most commonly attributed to Ni, with the poorly substantiated claim that if Si has good health knowledge (which by default, it doesn't), Ni must have the opposite. Another claim of evidence is based in the tendency of Ni to extrapolate causality. I could just as easily see weak Ni causing someone to fail to rationally investigate the probable origin of a simple symptom, and through the internal imagery so characteristic of Si imagine it something worse and worsen the condition in their mind, which compounds the physical problem... at least, that's how I see it happening in Si types, but I'm sure its presence, no matter in what type, indicates some type of ill psychological health. I'm willing to bet that any type/IE could fall into some psychosomatic dilemma, but for different reasons.
We learn from a young age how to fake feelings and emotions to fulfill our desires, as in the case of the pouting child, who is not really sad, but wishes to appeal to the emotions of the parents. The child quickly learns that in order to have the maximum effect, he must actually feel it, regardless of the genuineness of its origin. When we grow up, we forget it's a game. So yeah, these people could be fishing for help and sympathy; as Anndelise said, you are in no way obligated and should do them the favor of letting them either learn to deal with their own health problems, or to stop being manipulative.
I think Ni types (being one) tend to be open about "vauge" health issues, ones that nobody can diagnose. Actual things going wrong, that are explictly really wrong, they are less vocal about.
I don't really see it as complaining. If I tell someone about a health concern I have, it's to try and get a better understanding of why it is happening, to see if it's serious or not, so I can stop being stressful about it. I also want to say that all the ISFps I know, are nurses or studying to be nurses. I guess their first patient is themselves.