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Thread: Funny Quotes from our Duals

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    Default Funny Quotes from our Duals

    Hello everyone. I thought that it would be fun to see what everyone thinks is funny about some of the things that our duals say and do.

    I'll start.

    This happened to me on Valentines Day this year and it was kind of amusing so I thought that I would share.

    Him: "You know you are really social like my DAD" . . . "pause" "I meant that you are really social." "pause" "I mean you're really good with people and I'm not."

    My mind:

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    Smiley faces

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    Female Mountain Dew.

    Matthew 7:16 By their fruit you will recognize them

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    killer wolf lemontrees's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by yellow82 View Post
    Hello everyone. I thought that it would be fun to see what everyone thinks is funny about some of the things that our duals say and do.

    I'll start.

    This happened to me on Valentines Day this year and it was kind of amusing so I thought that I would share.

    Him: "You know you are really social like my DAD" . . . "pause" "I meant that you are really social." "pause" "I mean you're really good with people and I'm not."

    My mind:
    LIIs are so hilarious. I find this example adorable.

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    Being pestered by a cadre of xian canvassers while my SEE girlfriend and I awaited a city bus, the missus tired of their proselytizing and, stepping nose-to-nose with the woman who seemed to be the HMFIC, asked with a twinkle in her eye, "How'd you like to get your pussy licked, bitch?" And that is when and where the bible-thumpers straightened their scarves and ties and moseyed on to select easier prey for conversion to their slave religion. Hiiiiiiiiilarious!

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    not a bumblebee octo's Avatar
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    SLE describing people he doesn't respect: "They aren't even really people."
    Quote Originally Posted by Agee The Great View Post
    Nobody here...besides me, seems to know what SLE is except for maybe Maritsa.

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    SLE describing people he doesn't respect: "They aren't even really people."
    Lets just say that I find those words as funny and cute as the Holocaust. Moving on.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Esaman View Post
    Lets just say that I find those words as funny and cute as the Holocaust. Moving on.

    "If the Holocaust took place today, then next to the pile of shoes would be a pile of mobile phones."

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    @mercutio I don't catch your point. Also, lets stay on topic of funny dual quotes and comments about them. If you have to, PM me.

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    Strength lies not in defence but in attack.
    Adolf Hitler

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    Quote Originally Posted by Esaman View Post
    @mercutio I don't catch your point. Also, lets stay on topic of funny dual quotes and comments about them. If you have to, PM me.
    I believe he's commenting on the contemporary 1st-world ubiquity of mobile telecommunication devices. Since we're clearing the air, you could return the favor by explaining your last two jokes since I am not an ESE and cannot easily appreciate your humor.

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    I believe he's commenting on the contemporary 1st-world ubiquity of mobile telecommunication devices. Since we're clearing the air, you could return the favor by explaining your last two jokes since I am not an ESE and cannot easily appreciate your humor.
    What jokes are you talking about. I haven't joked about anything in here. Only after second mercutios post I understood that he is trying to be funny, and no he did not amuse me. I guess I just take serious things seriously.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Esaman View Post
    What jokes are you talking about. I haven't joked about anything in here. Only after second mercutios post I understood that he is trying to be funny, and no he did not amuse me. I guess I just take serious things seriously.

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    My SEE buddy D got into an argument with a weaselly dude named Mike who, flapping his hands around nervously to make a point, accidentally backhanded D's girlfriend on the cheek. Before Mike could apologize for his faux pas, D said, "Motherfucker!" through clenched teeth. Then he knocked Mike out with a haymaker to the temple, making Mike collapse in such a way that he bashed his skull on a parking meter and the curb on his way down. Hiiiiiiiiiiilarious!

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    Quote Originally Posted by Ekpyrosos View Post
    My SEE buddy D got into an argument with a weaselly dude named Mike who, flapping his hands around nervously to make a point, accidentally backhanded D's girlfriend on the cheek. Before Mike could apologize for his faux pas, D said, "Motherfucker!" through clenched teeth. Then he knocked Mike out with a haymaker to the temple, making Mike collapse in such a way that he bashed his skull on a parking meter and the curb on his way down. Hiiiiiiiiiiilarious!
    Nope, don't find that funny. I guess will have to agree on having different humor.
    Just to check. Would you still find it funny, if Mike suffered really serious injuries and D went to jail for it?

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    Quote Originally Posted by Esaman View Post
    Nope, don't find that funny. I guess will have to agree on having different humor.
    Just to check. Would you still find it funny, if Mike suffered really serious injuries and D went to jail for it?
    Are you from the Humor Police? Show me your badge. You certainly don't seem very funny at all.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Ekpyrosos View Post
    Are you from the Humor Police? Show me your badge. You certainly don't seem very funny at all.
    I have already made a point of stating my acknowledgment of existence of different kinds of humor. I also already stated that I was not trying to be funny.

    Humor is subjective experience and I wouldn't be arguing whether something is funny or not. I could argue that the humor you presented is objectively irresponsible, but I won't.
    Example of what I subjectively find funny in a sardonic kind of way - I was saying "funny as Holocaust" to mean "very much not funny, terrifying actually", but here come a guy that does find Holocaust funny and rolls out his jokes.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Ashton View Post
    What the fuck is your problem?
    Not experiencing any problems right now. If you have a problem with me, you will have to string some words together and make it explicit.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Esaman View Post
    Also, lets stay on topic of funny dual quotes and comments about them.
    Your activity in this thread:

    dual quotes 0
    total posts 6 ||||||||||||


    Quote Originally Posted by Esaman View Post
    What jokes are you talking about. I haven't joked about anything in here.
    precisely

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    to woofwoofl

    Quote Originally Posted by Esaman View Post
    @mercutio I don't catch your point. Also, lets stay on topic of funny dual quotes and comments about them. If you have to, PM me.
    In the first comment I commented on dual quote.
    Second was a plea to stay on topic or move to privet conversation.
    Since people disregarded that, I gave up and engaged in offtopic conversation.

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    It appears that funny quotes aren't funny when read by your supervisee.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Ozz View Post
    It appears that funny quotes aren't funny when read by your supervisee.
    I think the particular quote wouldn't be found funny by absolute majority of people. By the way, do you find it funny?

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    Quote Originally Posted by octo View Post
    SLE describing people he doesn't respect: "They aren't even really people."
    Heard something similar from my SLE boss to a client behind there back! Something to the effect of " They don't deserve to exist! " I acted all angry and said " You have to stop repeating what other people say about you. Be a little more original! "

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    Quote Originally Posted by octo View Post
    SLE describing people he doesn't respect: "They aren't even really people."
    This reminded me of what my IEE friend once said about a particular SLE "I'm not saying that she should be killed, but if we only could send her to a deserted island and cut off her limbs so that she could never swim back.."
    Quote Originally Posted by 1981slater View Post
    Axis of Evil: Iran, Iraq, North Korea and Agarina
    Quote Originally Posted by Maritsa Darmandzhyan
    Agarina does not like human beings; she just wants a pretty boy toy.
    Johari Nohari

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    Quote Originally Posted by Esaman View Post
    I think the particular quote wouldn't be found funny by absolute majority of people. By the way, do you find it funny?
    I chuckled slightly at the exaggeration.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Esaman View Post
    Example of what I subjectively find funny in a sardonic kind of way - I was saying "funny as Holocaust" to mean "very much not funny, terrifying actually", but here come a guy that does find Holocaust funny and rolls out his jokes.
    Dictators by genocidal body count:
    Code:
    Mao Ze-Dong 	49-78,000,000 (China 1958-61 and 1966-69, Tibet 1949-50)
    Jozef Stalin 	23,000,000 (USSR 1932-39, the purges plus Ukraine's famine)
    Adolf Hitler  	12,000,000 (Germany  1939-1945, (concentration camps and civilians WWII)
    Leopold II   	8,000,000 (Congo 1886-1908)
    Hideki Tojo  	5,000,000 (Japan 1941-44, civilians in WWII)
    Ismail Enver 	1,200,000 (Turkey 1915-20, Armenians + 350,000 Greek Pontians + 480,000 Anatolian Greeks (1916-22) + 500,000 Assyrians (1915-20))
    Pol Pot       	1,700,000 (Cambodia 1975-79)
    Kim Il Sung  	1,600,000 (North Korea 1948-94, purges and concentration camps)
    Menghistu   	1,500,000 (Ethiopia 1975-78)
    Yakubu Gowon 	1,000,000 (Biafra 1967-1970)
    So if you'd really meant to knock marc's jokes you'd have selected Mao or Stalin for comparison since their genocides were far worse than Hitler's. Finally, I'm starting to understand your sense of humor.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Ozz View Post
    I chuckled slightly at the exaggeration.
    What make you think that it is an exaggeration and not a honest opinion about fraction of people? It may sound fancy but I just don't like to speculate using numbers. By the way by people I mean general population and not active members of this forum which have a strong troll representation. Yes, i mean you Ekpyrosos.

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    lol korp's actuallY reallY good at telling stories.
    maybe a saint is just a dead prick with a good publicist
    maybe tommorow's statues are insecure without their foes
    go ask the frog what the scorpion knows

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    Quote Originally Posted by Esaman View Post
    What make you think that it is an exaggeration and not a honest opinion about fraction of people? It may sound fancy but I just don't like to speculate using numbers. By the way by people I mean general population and not active members of this forum which have a strong troll representation. Yes, i mean you Ekpyrosos.
    This is supposed to be a funny dual quote thread and all you've done is complain and fuss because the world doesn't abide by your standards. Lighten up, Francis.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Ekpyrosos View Post
    This is supposed to be a funny dual quote thread and all you've done is complain and fuss because the world doesn't abide by your standards. Lighten up, Francis.
    Oh, on defensive now? How about your explain wtf is the point of post number 30. How it makes any sense in relation to anything I said and how it is not a fail quality trolling attempt.
    May I remind you that you are the one who asked to start conversation offtopic, so criticizing me for it is hilarious.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Esaman View Post
    Oh, on defensive now? How about your explain wtf is the point of post number 30. How it makes any sense in relation to anything I said and how it is not a fail quality trolling attempt.
    May I remind you that you are the one who asked to start conversation offtopic, so criticizing me for it is hilarious.
    Dude. Let it go. It's okay.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Radio View Post
    Dude. Let it go. It's okay.
    "The LII does not like being simply told "get real" or "get off your duff", which he views as crude, intrusive..."

    Counteracting the above reaction.. Thanks, I guess?
    really though, being chill doesn't resolve arguments for me.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Esaman View Post
    really though, being chill doesn't resolve arguments for me.
    But it should allow you to see that the non-issue doesn't exist outside of your anal insistence, and that winning an argument on the internet is otherwise pretty meaningless considering how the people here don't directly affect you whatsoever.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Esaman View Post
    Oh, on defensive now?
    Defensive as the holocaust.

    Quote Originally Posted by Esaman View Post
    How about your explain wtf is the point of post number 30.
    How about you fetch me a sandwich.

    Quote Originally Posted by Esaman View Post
    May I remind you that you are the one who asked to start conversation offtopic, so criticizing me for it is hilarious.
    False. Your first post dragged 12-million dead gypsies, homosexuals, jews, handicapped, journalists, POWs, artists, and dissidents into this thread. This is how "serious" you are, using history's third-largest mass murder as a prop to declare that you aren't amused.

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    From my boyfriend that I haven't seen in literally months, talking about what he's going to do to me when I get there:
     
    "First, I'm going to let you in the door. Then, I'll offer you a glass of water and a piece of the cake I spent all day baking before I drag you to the bedroom."


    Oh, SEI. <3

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    Esaman may I suggest instead of criticizing every one's sense of humour that isn't similar to yours that you rather invest that time and energy into understanding why you're so closed minded. If this doesn't work for you perhaps you can start a different thread with the rules you wish every one to abide by when it comes to humour.

    I think you're taking this too much at face value. What korp is posting isn't exactly knee-jerking due to the vocabulary. What is supposed to be humourous is the entire context of the situation which is why he provides more information than a word for word quote.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Esaman View Post
    May I remind you that you are the one who asked to start conversation offtopic, so criticizing me for it is hilarious.
    I believe k0rpsey's first post in this thread was a funny story about his dual, which was exactly on-topic. And then octo provided a quote from her dual, the SLE, which you criticized as 'funny as the Holocaust'. And then mercutio provided a quote from his dual, which you questioned since you didn't get the joke. It seems as though most people have posted in the context within this thread, until you either criticize their sense of humor or get frustrated that other people's sense of humor isn't exactly like yours. Whose fault would that be?

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    Me: "My internet isn't working." (Implied "Can you fix it.")

    Husband: "Oh, you have your own internet?"
    It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble. It's what you know for sure that just ain't so.
    -Mark Twain


    You can't wake a person who is pretending to be asleep.

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    I have many...

    a SLE acquaintance I'm friends with on FB always posts the best fb statuses

    Im having a problem in Call Of Duty, I go to the menu and... alright by now the girls have stopped reading this, anyone know any good porn sites?
    Raisin cookies that look like chocolate chip cookies is the main reason why I have trust issues
    IF AND ONLY IF your girl has a GOOD sense of humor, try leaving a trail of rose petals leading to a sink full of dirty dishes
    I'll never understand why the guy that invented braille didn't just put the dots in shape of the actual letters.
    I have to REALLY like you a lot... for me to share my food with you. Unless it falls on the floor. So its kinda like you have to guess
    when you say "don't take this the wrong way" people hear "take this the wrong way"........ so just say what you have to say and add a "lol" at the end
    Quote Originally Posted by jxrtes View Post
    betas should be kept in zoos for children to stare and throw pop corn at.

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