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Thread: IEI through SLE's eyes: what is that like? (INFp-ESTp)

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    Default IEI through SLE's eyes: what is that like? (INFp-ESTp)

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    Last edited by Kent Lorne; 02-20-2012 at 02:05 PM.

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    http://socioniko.net/en/1.3.rels/dual-2p.html

    IEI sends out the signs of the quiet emotional dreamy reflective person who can do foresights and the SLE wants to protect that fragile victim.

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    Pffft.....but thanks for making me sound like a super hero.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Agee The Great View Post
    Pffft.....but thanks for making me sound like a super hero.
    I've often experience that for myself. When I feel like I can't get something done because I can't influence or change people's minds, an SLE finds the idea or knows just what to do to get it done. My LSI boss is hard to deal with and he can get demanding about things that are too detailed and insignificant; I run to the SLE manager and she knows how to talk to him, to get across him. It's nice.

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    Hi Maritsa. Thanks for your post and the link! I have read this article before. And I totally get the quiet, dreamy, emotional, reflective thing ... especially the fragile victim aspect. But... would you have some examples of situations and interactions between SLE/IEIs you might have witnessed? I am kind of looking for specifics in that hemisphere.

    Also, I have read that IEIs can take on a lot of different personalities. I always think of them somewhere as shapeshifters. I do have my own identity, but I can live out another identity, just not for long. Eventually I will grow tired and I need to revert back to how I naturally look and feel. I would love to know whether other IEIs feel this way. Instead of long term behavior modification, I have always found it easy to shift states of consciousness, which is relatively easy for Ni s and it's almost like you empathetically morph the personality mask on to yourself and you have all the emotional and energy information you need regarding this image and you start functioning from it. I presume an SLE needs spend a lot of time with an IEI then to realize first of all that they are IEI ! If the world is a tough place and a place that is less than, then this is the best form of protection for IEIs. You can't hurt an IEI if you can't recognize em. So, While the dreamy, reflective, emotional is true, there is so much more going on behind that. When I am quiet, I am very quiet...but when I start talking, that's it! I won't shut up. I will have a million questions and the more I ask the more I wanna know.

    In terms of foresight, I have always related to the word vision more than foresight. When it comes to vision I feel the same sense of drive and fire to manifest it, as much as an SLE would have for, everything else. Except low Se energy takes a toll.

    You know, here is the thing, the descriptions of the IEI and SLE all in their own way make sense and what they cover seems accurate, but not the whole story.

    For example, I never got this "play dead" attitude with SLEs. I would never play dead with an SLE. When I pick a fight with an SLE, I have this sick perverse need to fight back! I never fight back generally cause either I feel too tired, or in shock, or don't know how to fight back or respond... I come up with great come backs like 2 hours later! Or sometimes I feel the consequences are not worth it. I should shut my mouth, and address the problem some other way which won't affect the relationship, which might prove to be helpful at a later time. So in that sense, I think IEIs can be just as calculating as SLEs. But the one type I love to fight back with is the SLE. I am always curious as to what they are gonna do. Is it gonna hurt or is it gonna feel great, or both! I think an IEI needs to vent! Badly! And no place like the SLE to vent at. Now this is a bit contradictory to the descriptions. The IEI is suppose to be the one to take it, the SLE is the one who barks. So somewhere the quiet, demure, angel look seems a bit stereotypical. As in, sure, the IEI has that look, but that's just a look. There is A LOT going below that surface. Such as WW3! What the SLE experiences and sees outside, the IEI according to me, sees inside. It's a war inside! But it's all an illusion. I feel the relationship somewhere is about breaking out of illusions. The SLE grabs and shakes the IEI vigorously telling it that what's happening inside is not real! The IEI grabs the SLE and shakes it hard on the outside and says " This ain't real too! This is as big an illusion as any inner world! You can reconstruct the world ! Now get to it, I got a blueprint, I was up all night workin on it, that's why I look tired !" And the SLE suddenly realizes why the IEI always looks tired. He thought it was weakness and inertia, it was actually overwork! You can't tell with ILIs and IEIs.... they are like planets. They are spinning but you can't tell with the naked eye!

    I have read that the IEI and SLE experience a play - fight relationship. Now that makes sense! I once slapped an SLE and it felt just as good as kissing him. Now this description of the play - fight. That made a lot of sense.

    Just as much as SLEs don't constantly have this look that they are out to conquer the world, IEIs don't always look like the 2nd coming.

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    That's what I call a wall of text,

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    Cocaine is a helluva drug.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Kent Lorne View Post
    how IEI females come across to SLE males? When an SLE male sees and interacts with an IEI female what is he seeing? What does it feel like for him? Aushra, Gulenko and other socionists in general talk about signals one sends out to their duals. What are the natural signals the IEI is sending out to the SLE?
    Not being SLE, I can't really present a coherent image of what they see, but from what I've been told, they see me as cute, surprisingly dirty-minded, with a good sense of humour (laughing at their jokes, feeding their Fe-HA ). I often find that I tend to voice whatever mundane thought pops into my head when I'm around SLEs, and they'll find it completely original and unique. SLEs also seem to feel like they need to protect me from certain realities, because I'm somehow uncorrupted or something - for example, my bf was afraid to let me meet this even crazier SLE friend of his, because he thought I'd be scared . I think Starfall has had a similar experience with her bf having an image of her being somehow purer than him. I'm not sure if it's strictly type-related or simply because IEIs tend to be a lot less worldly than SLEs. SLEs have also told me that they feel like they can say tings around me that they can't say around other people, because they're afraid of being judged as a bad person, but somehow I'm not judgemental of them. This might just be a stronger version of same-quadra interaction though...


    Quote Originally Posted by Kent Lorne View Post
    When working with SLEs I have found in comparison to the ILEs, the SLE is more about force than ideas. The SLE is not trying to think of different possibilities in terms of an out of the box approach to the problem. They function more on force. Their Se is reading the problem and Ti is just strategizing how to hit that force in a place it will create the best results. I worked with an ILE once, and their method and way of thinking was more about coming up with different solutions, different ways to tackle the problem. Where there is no solution, they would try their best to look in nooks and corners where they may have missed some missing connection or rethink the way they are looking at the problem. (Though I know Nis do this too.) But the SLE probably feels the need to force the solution out. At least that's what I felt with my SLE boss. It actually felt like the concept of solution itself differed between the SLE and ILE bosses. SLE just wanted to strategize the force and the impact, the ILE too wanted to know where is that weak spot to attack, but in order to implement the ideas and the alternate ways of solving the problem. It wasn't about force.
    I'm not sure I'd use the word "force" to describe it (because of all the common connotations of SLEs being bullies and physically strong), but I've also noticed the difference between ILEs and SLEs in terms of focus. I vividly remember plotting with an ILE to steal chips from a vending machine - we made a mind map and discussed ideas, but in the end, he was focused on building some crazy contraption which could dispense food to rats or something, and I was left thinking, "How is that getting us closer to having chips? We should at least get the chips first, then move to another project..." SLEs are similarly goal-focused to me, which I think is an Ne vs. Se difference.

    Quote Originally Posted by Kent Lorne View Post
    Reason being I am very goal oriented myself and whatever I do has to be the best I can and that better be the best of the best. But sometimes the environment I am in doesn't allow that because of rules, protocal etc etc. Having freedom, more access etc allows me to give the best results, cause I can actually control the outcome. I have found SLEs to value ability. If they see that you can do something and you can do it better than anyone else, they will break down all the walls, doors, (metaphorically speaking... I think (-; ) and definitely the rules and protocals so that you can have the environment of your choice to function even better. They aren't obsessed with methods of working which don't work. It's all about the goal with them. If certain working systems are stopping them from achieving what they want or what their team wants, it will be changed right there and then. I think maybe this is where the Ni probably feels really good cause the Ni needs a lot of space....the Ni is quite borderless and SLE can create a borderless environment if need be.
    I feel quite similar. I can't work in a straight line... if there's a large job that consists of 5 smaller tasks, chances are I'll work on tasks according to my whims, rather than finishing one task first before starting another. I worked next to an LSE who simply couldn't understand how I could work like that ("Are you just going to leave that there unfinished? Shouldn't you at least tidy it up a bit before going away?"), and even though each time we had a progress report she told me she was impressed by the amount and coherency of the work I'd done, she would be back to questioning my methods the next day. I've never worked under an SLE though, so I can't comment on that aspect.

    Quote Originally Posted by Kent Lorne View Post
    I am also very confused on what an IEI can give an SLE. I have read a lot of articles on it but they are not very specific. All said and done, one is still hitting up against the Ni. Ni is very ambiguous, even for Ni dom users. What is it that an IEI can really offer an SLE?
    I often ask this myself. I think it's a sense of coherency - a lot of the time, my SLE bf will use me as a sounding board - he'll tell me all this stuff he's thinking, and somehow can't put together in his mind, and afterwards he walks away much calmer with a sense of purpose. Perhaps it's providing the connections that join his ideas together? Sometimes he also asks my help in solving problems, and I give him ideas on how to go about dealing with it. I think the nature of the base function is that it's so strong that it's almost unnoticed by the user (since it's all they've ever known), so they can't work out how they've actually helped, since there was no effort involved. I think that's especially true for Ni, since it's so ambiguous.

    Quote Originally Posted by Kent Lorne View Post
    And then I think SLE.... major inferiority complex strikes. Though that's only when I am alone. When I am with an SLE there is no time to think, only time to marvel. haha!
    I get the inferiority complex with my bf a lot, especially on Ti issues. He's smarter than me, and better at physical things too, and so much more street-smart - what does he see in me, and why can't I be better at just one thing? At the same time, because he's so awesome at everything, it also confuses me when he can't seem to do (or perhaps doesn't see the importance in doing) things that are really basic to me, like buy a reasonable amount of food that we can consume before it goes bad, or not throw out things he's going to need again next year, or generally plan ahead. I don't know if that's SLEs in general or just him though I definitely didn't see that he'd be such a retard at basic things until a year into going out with him, and I was friends with him for two years before that. I'm sure other types can easily see faults with SLEs, but duals tend to be more accepting of each other's faults...

    Quote Originally Posted by Kent Lorne View Post
    Also, I have read that IEIs can take on a lot of different personalities. I always think of them somewhere as shapeshifters. I do have my own identity, but I can live out another identity, just not for long. Eventually I will grow tired and I need to revert back to how I naturally look and feel. I would love to know whether other IEIs feel this way.
    Mmm yes. I tend to blend in with groups - if I'm with girls from my dance class, I'll dumb my speech patterns down and talk about airhead things; if I'm stuck with people who I perceive are into working hard and not slacking off, I'll feign having urgent work to do and excuse myself gracefully. It's a nice benefit of being Fe-creative.

    Quote Originally Posted by Kent Lorne View Post
    I have always found it easy to shift states of consciousness, which is relatively easy for Ni s and it's almost like you empathetically morph the personality mask on to yourself and you have all the emotional and energy information you need regarding this image and you start functioning from it.
    Not entirely sure what you mean by this.


    Quote Originally Posted by Kent Lorne View Post
    You know, here is the thing, the descriptions of the IEI and SLE all in their own way make sense and what they cover seems accurate, but not the whole story.

    (stuff)
    Have you read the Conqueror-Prize description? I was always skeptical of the whole Victim label until I read that, and it made so much more sense. Romantic attitudes article
    Quote Originally Posted by Agee The Great View Post
    Nobody here...besides me, seems to know what SLE is except for maybe Maritsa.

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    My type is yet unconfirmed but I guess some I'm SLEish as most IEIs agree it for my typing and I usually date only IEIs. So I think I might have some kind of say on these matters.
    Realize that your run-of-the-mill SLE would be like "TL;DR" by now. Please use more paragraphs. My EP can't handle this much text on this context. This thread is about IEIs through the eyes of SLE and so far it's basically two IEIs making a long analysis about it, one SLE making his typical one-liner comment, Absurd's remark, a confused self-proclaimed humanist showing that she can understand her conflictors as well.

    Quote Originally Posted by octo View Post
    Not being SLE, I can't really present a coherent image of what they see, but from what I've been told, they see me as cute, surprisingly dirty-minded, with a good sense of humour (laughing at their jokes, feeding their Fe-HA ). I often find that I tend to voice whatever mundane thought pops into my head when I'm around SLEs, and they'll find it completely original and unique. SLEs also seem to feel like they need to protect me from certain realities, because I'm somehow uncorrupted or something - for example, my bf was afraid to let me meet this even crazier SLE friend of his, because he thought I'd be scared . I think Starfall has had a similar experience with her bf having an image of her being somehow purer than him. I'm not sure if it's strictly type-related or simply because IEIs tend to be a lot less worldly than SLEs. SLEs have also told me that they feel like they can say tings around me that they can't say around other people, because they're afraid of being judged as a bad person, but somehow I'm not judgemental of them. This might just be a stronger version of same-quadra interaction though...
    All of this applies perfectly.

    I feel like I've got to protect IEIs from something not specified and a part of me wants to get real caveman-ey about it tbh. There has to be a fight for it, me being the pursuer. If you see something on discount on the mall you automatically think there has to be something wrong for it. And yes, my gfs are prizes to boast with as well. This actually sounds so stereotypical that it would almost sound to me like I would be trying to pretend to be SLE. My main focus on the dating aspect has been XEIs but when SEIs look the sorta person you wanna play with, IEIs seem the kind of person you wanna play. idk.
    Last edited by Aquagraph; 02-19-2012 at 11:16 PM.
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    Hi Aquagraph. Yes you are right, my posts are LONG! Sorry about that. I'll try to cut it down way back. Thanks for answering. Really appreciate it. Haha, well if there are no SLEs replying us IEIs got to give it our best shot! Octo's post really helped. I get what you mean and a lot of the descriptions I have read through validate what you say too. But these are probably things you felt after a certain time of knowing your IEIs. But I would appreciate a little more detail if possible, only when you got time of course, no hurry. I was kind of hoping you could tell me a bit about your first interactions with the IEIs you know... how they came off to you at first glance, how the relationship grew and what you felt attracted to. Like I said in the chat forum, how did Ni + Fe come across to you in terms of ideas, mannerisms, behavior, etc. Just examples of such situations. Something like that. About the initial stages.

    You wanna play poor little IEIs! Oh so the SEI gets the playmate, we get the scoundrel???? How is that fair!

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    Quote Originally Posted by Kent Lorne View Post
    You wanna play poor little IEIs! Oh so the SEI gets the playmate, we get the scoundrel???? How is that fair!
    Well, they're (a) game in a way. But yeah I was a bit intentionally cynical about it to get the point across. Then again, what does it tell of the hunter if it cannot even catch the rabbit? It's a thing of recognition and merit to SLEs and IEIs see the devotion behind it. That man is not scoundrel but a noble hunter.

    Well, I guess I have found a way to talk about my ex.. Well I don't know what part of this information is related but it's XLE-IEI love story and it feels good to write about it as I still miss her like I do.
     

    I was at a bar with my friends and then I entered the smoking booth, seeing two girls there, the other being clearly a sharpie (SkinHeads Against Racial Prejudice) with the spartan emblem DIY printed on her shirt. I don't know whether I'm automatically attracted to some kind of subtle demeanor they give off but somehow those women I start to chase are IEIs. As I entered I said "'ey skinheads". They didn't react a lot and I was a bit embarrassed, but somehow determined to get to talk to skinhead. Later, I decided to ambush her when she came across our table, heading to the restroom. Not gonna ambush her in the restroom.. I started waiting for her and accidentally bumping into her as she would come across the corner near the restroom. Then I heard her DocMartens clap against the floor and I was getting ready with something intelligent to say. Before she appeared, one of my friends, a social retarded LIE said something to her. This was bad. Not part of my plans, I have never needed anyone to come between me and my game, even if trying to be helpful. She looked confused as she appeared behind the corner. Forgetting anything witty I had to say I asked did my friends say anything stupid? I didn't hear her reply but she appeared to be confused. I directly asked to get to talk to her. She said that she had her beer on the table and that she needed to go there. Even when realizing that this was a lousy excuse to avoid me, a possible jerk, I wanted to continue. I returned to my table, slammed my fist on the table asking politely not to get fucking interrupted by retarded attempts at social interaction. LIE said that "whatever, Aqua [name changed] won't get laid tonight, big deal." That would have been the case normally but at that time I knew that I could mark those words and maybe nastily make a remark about it later on. Then I started to write a a tiny letter on a piece of paper from a newspaper. Then I would openly ambush her and her friend as they left the bar about to be closed. I gave her the note and said that "This is all. I'm gonna go head to other bars.", a common proverb in Finland. The letter exposed my motive and apologized for my left-handed handwriting. I just played the cute and vulnerable card with my number on it.

    Next morning as hangover swept through the thick unconditioned air, my friends woke up as someone screamed "SUCCESS". Someone got a text message. After celebration dancing involving heavy use of the pelvis, I started to text her a bit, arranged a date in the infamous Kallio area. Kallio (literally a "rock" referring to a big unmovable mountainous body of rock) is a way of life and death. It has the thai massage places that do extra services, a bar every ten meters and lots of aspiring artists, always drunk or at least stoned. We met in Piritori (translates "meth agora/marketplace"). She had beers with her and I had a bottle of red wine. We went to a park and talked about all kind of stuff. We did this in English as she was close to native and I like English language a lot. After a couple hours she started to help my poor ass out by sharing her beer. My wine bottle had emptied itself. She had shyness to her and the "deer in the headlights" look they talk about here. She liked Led Zeppelin and linguistics like I did. I told her about Socionics and she was happy to hear that she shared the same type as Shakespeare. She already shared the same birthday with him. My brother called and asked to join for a moment and I thought it would be strategically wise as my brother is awesome and I already know that the awesomeness of my friends make me look even more awesome, especially if they look up to me. We bumped in to my brother and he was drinking as well. We threw the pigskin a bit. Later on in a bar, my brother was about to take his leave and I didn't want to go with him but she had the idea that I might. Then she did something real IEI, she smiled and asked "You can't leave a girl alone in the bar, can you?". She was right. And that was a total turn on.

    Later on things evolved at their pace. As a two people with attachment issues we never started dating officially nor didn't have no rules. To this date, I wish I'd have known what this actually meant. I fucked someone else totally insignificant and then told her about it ASAP. I had largely gotten used to the standard of "no rules = do whatever you want" in dating. That was really stupid of me. Of course she would be hurt. I could still force us together for a few beautiful moments, but it was lost. Now she said she's dating someone else, but I don't know whether I trust her. She could call me and tell me to marry her and I wouldn't hesitate to reply positively although it would be absurd. I'd be too happy about it all to think about such earthly odds of it. She's going abroad to study linguistics. I'm dying here. If living, living with a painful reminder of the fact that I too can regret. I shall not forgive myself nor do I expect others to forgive me for hurting her.

    Well, if worth anything, I wrote poetry like I never had before.

    If you find anything type-related (LIKE FI POLR!) in this story, please do analyze.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Maritsa33 View Post
    "The Humanist, as a rule, is an exceptionally honest and conscientious partner. He willingly processes great quantities of information, draws general conclusions and schedules actions. The Administrator sees planning as a problem."

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    Quote Originally Posted by polikujm View Post
    "The Humanist, as a rule, is an exceptionally honest and conscientious partner. He willingly processes great quantities of information, draws general conclusions and schedules actions. The Administrator sees planning as a problem."
    The only time they see it as a problem is when they can't do everything they want to do; they don't strive to compartmentalize the things to do instead striving for efficiency, which is getting as much done as possible. This is where they need me to not overemphasize on preference which is to prioritize tasks or to organize but to schedule action; that is take out a calendar and say this is when you should do this and that; to spread out their to do list and to schedule rest time for them, because LSE always have work coming up (they are always working for find that there's work to do and get very little rest as a result of massive energy output).

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    I am very sorry for your heartbreak. I hope I don't sound well brain dead stupid here, I haven't been keeping well so I might sound a bit strange, loss like that always hurts, especially when it leaves you changed at some level. I think there is a lot you took away from this experience. Maybe now you are more aware of... everything. Aware of relationships and how they can be, probably a more evolved understanding of how you would like relationships to be, how you would like to be. Regret is not a bad thing. Not for anyone. Regret just tells us, we have the ability to still grow. Unfortunately our bodies can't grow after a point. I know tonnes of people who would love to continue growing so they can be their ideal height! Thank god we can do it emotionally and mentally... and spiritually! I think somewhere you did real good here. Yeah you made a mistake. But I always feel, it's not the mistake one should be ashamed of, but not having learned anything from it. And you learned so much. If I knew you better, I would be proud. Since this lovely young lady has to leave the country and study, that anyway was a problem, I presume for you? Long distance etc. If you still feel she is the one person you would like to be with, then pursue it. But if it isn't... don't worry. You will experience this again. All the relationships we encounter help us grow in remarkable ways. More than experiencing love with others sometimes, it's even more important to experience that love within ourselves. I feel you experienced that capacity and depth of affection and love. Maybe that was what this love was about. Future love will be about sharing this aspect of yourself and achieving even more self realization. And if you want it to be in a long term relationship then that's great. I think forgiveness is imperative when growth is so evident. Did you ever have the chance to apologize to her? Even if you didn't, you still can, and even if you can't do that now cause of whatever circumstances, if you say it to her in thin air, she'll feel it. The human being's vibrational power is as strong as any cosmic energy. It's what causes synchronicity. A person might apologize from a distance and suddenly out of the blew the other person feels a deep sense of release, peace and love towards that person. Intuitively, in-corporeally, they have received each others thoughts and emotions. That lovely heart of yours will have a life it deserves, a good life at that. One filled with the love you have realized with such passion. Don't feel like your dying. There is so much yet to come. You paved the road for it to come to you. A road which probably never existed before.

    I apologize if I have stepped over my boundaries in anything I said, but thank you so much for sharing something like this with me. It's deeply regarded.

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    Oh and I was just pulling your leg and making light with the scoundrel thing... (-: I didn't mean it. The noble hunter makes a lot of sense. I read somewhere probably on one of the forums here that SLEs stalk IEIs in order to grab em and then protect them! haha. I thought that was pretty cute. And kind of accurate. Though I think it's less stalker, more " I'll take over the entire planet, so you got no place to hide!"

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    Quote Originally Posted by Kent Lorne View Post
    Did you ever have the chance to apologize to her?
    Sometimes I feel like the rest of my life is a little marked by the apologetic burden I bear, this case being on the top. But yeah I have apologized to her in many different ways.

    Quote Originally Posted by Kent Lorne View Post
    Oh and I was just pulling your leg and making light with the scoundrel thing... (-: I didn't mean it. The noble hunter makes a lot of sense. I read somewhere probably on one of the forums here that SLEs stalk IEIs in order to grab em and then protect them! haha. I thought that was pretty cute. And kind of accurate. Though I think it's less stalker, more " I'll take over the entire planet, so you got no place to hide!"
    Yeah, I thought you meant so. Yeah that conqueror mentality is awesome!
    “I tell you, freedom and human rights in America are doomed. The U.S. government will lead the American people in — and the West in general — into an unbearable hell and a choking life. - Osama bin Laden

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    not a bumblebee octo's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kent Lorne View Post
    I'll clarify my point on force. I didn't mean physical strength, but force in terms energy and direction and a sense of powering through. This is something I have observed and to be true from the SLE descriptions in Socionics. Se offers a remarkable clarity in the intake of the Here and Now. Whatever exists like a photograph is seared into Se memory banks and the level of energy the Se has is nothing short of a boiling point level. I think Socionics too described Se as an element of Force in that sense. Of course a more negative form of this can result in bulling, and it does. Not bulling as in schoolyard bulling, but if you see SLEs in their work environment and in corporate hierarchies, their is a deep sense of manipulation and bullying in their dealings which may not always be present, but it is definitely their joker card in their deck. But mostly I see that element of force manifested as an accurate understanding and a quick understanding of what's going on, a tremendous sense of speed in their dealings, and of course the Ti telling it when to make a move and when not to.
    I think that last bit (when to make a move and when not to) is why they like Ni - Ni bases seem to have an intuitive sense of when to do things, and which option would lead to the best outcome, that isn't quite accessible by Ti alone.

    Quote Originally Posted by Kent Lorne View Post
    But my SLEs took time to find out what I was thinking on that front! They thought I was very innocent and naive and "hide the eyes of the poor child, don't traumatize her" attitude.
    Haha yes exactly. It took a while, but my bf has accepted that he's the vanilla one in our relationship. With another SLE friend of mine, he used to just talk to me about innocent subjects, until one day we were looking at something (can't remember what) and I started laughing because it reminded me of something dirty, and he pressed me until I told him what it was. From then on he would tell me dirty stuff all the time I think he kind of enjoyed the contrast between innocent exterior/perverted mind

    Quote Originally Posted by Kent Lorne View Post
    I don't know why SLEs or people in general get this impression of IEIs being innocent. I don't do anything to come off as that.
    Maybe the whole deer-in-the-headlights look combined with the impression of being sheltered

    Quote Originally Posted by Kent Lorne View Post
    I always feel like people are looking to my SLE friends to ask them whether she bites, and they just shake it off and say " Of course not! Look how cute she is! " And they respond, "But she just bit me!" SLE says, "Aww! She is just teething!".
    Haha, I feel the need to explain my SLE friends to other people! "They're not actually racist, they just say racist things because they're funny, not because they mean it!" :\

    Ni being a base function, can't tell how they help. Absolutely. Good point. That's why I wanted SLEs to tell me what they see! Cause I can't judge my own base function ! [/quote]

    I asked my bf last night what it was that I brought to the relationship. What he said

    - "I don't know. Why do you have to bring something to the relationship?" :\

    When I gave him examples of what I liked about him, he said

    - "You're good at lots of things." What things? "Um, things in general...you're good at painting your nails..." Later on, when I gave him a glass of water, he said, "You're good at anticipating my needs."

    I've told him to go think about it... I think the problem is that SLEs are bad at reflection and can't isolate what exactly it is that's the essence or crux of something, thanks to weak Ni. So that might be why we can't work out what they see in us lol.

    Quote Originally Posted by Kent Lorne View Post
    But when it came to creativity, ideas, futuristic scenarios and especially an understanding of sciences and systems which were required, I was better. I wouldn't say better actually that's not what it was, it was that my understanding was different from his. Again it was very much the seen, unseen deal. I would rather say I mastered these arenas, but he understood them very well.
    Sigh. I think my bf is just annoyingly smart. All my life, around other people, including SLEs, I've always felt like I was smarter than them at most things, or at least blitzed them in one area... but my bf is actually the first person I've felt completely inferior to (although when I first met him, I thought he was a dumb adrenaline junkie skater dude ).

    Quote Originally Posted by Kent Lorne View Post
    But when I am around an SLE who I don't know very well and he or she doesn't know me, I do keep 99% of who I am to myself. So they don't know me. I feel like a turtle that way. They even react to me like a turtle. My head and my legs are all tucked in and all they see is a shell. So when they touch the shell, I withdraw. But once I START feeling comfortable around them, I start coming out of my shell. And then suddenly they are, " Wow! You are alive!"


    Quote Originally Posted by Kent Lorne View Post
    My SLE boss just looked bewildered for months. I didn't know whether he liked me or not. I think he was in as much shock as I was, when I saw his ways of working. Do SLEs and IEIs encounter some amount of surprise initially when dealing with each other? I did. I remember one day when I was talking with my SLE boss, he actually looked at the work done and said "I didn't see this coming. " I think when he did size me up, I wasn't on his radar screen. I was quiet, uncoordinated, spaced out and slightly ghost like (not in an eery way!) I hope not and just basically weird! Nothing to take a second look at! I don't think the cuteness stage had set in yet. That came later when he got to know me more. He on the other hand, to me was... everything I wanted to be... or at least have for my very best friend. haha.
    I actually had lunch with my bf almost every day when we first started working together, but we only ever talked about superficial things for about a year... then he started hanging out with me and my IEI friend and then we wre inseparable I think he originally just thought I was a boring sheltered nerd..not that he'd admit that now.

    Quote Originally Posted by Kent Lorne View Post
    When it came to the real world, he was the master. His explanations were amazing not because they were original or particularly brilliant.... but damn were they accurate. He explained things in a way that I could understand! It was so clear! 100% clarity! And that in itself threw me off. It was brilliant. I was so caught up with the way he would explain things and the way he saw things and the way he did things, I just forgot about everything else I was seeing. It was intoxicating. It was like these miniature bombs going off in my head every time he told me about something. I kept thinking, oh dear god this man is smart! He knows so much. He may not know it all, but what he knows, he knows well. His knowledge was almost sexual in nature. Everything he said was a turn on. With my ILE boss, we would have a whirlwind of discussion on numerous ideas. And it was great! But different. It's almost like the SLE is the real world but the SLE knows how to make it IEI friendly so that the IEI can see whats going on. I feel the IEI knows it intuitively, but can't put it into words. My SLE could put it into words.
    I think what you're describing is their Ti Which is delicious Ti, om nom nom.

    Quote Originally Posted by Kent Lorne View Post
    In terms of daily activity, I felt the SLEs I have dealt with are better.
    Haha, I think my bf's housekeeping issues are due in part to being E7 ("Housework is boring! I'll wash the dishes I guess... oh look, it's sunny outside! I'm going out!"), and moving around a lot in his childhood so he never really stayed in one house for longer than a year, so he doesn't see the benefits in establishing a permanent household routine.

    Do any of the IEIs here feel themselves to be trapped in a contradiction? Like feeling the need for utter privacy but in certain situations also desire the starring role! Or be in a dream state most of the time, but suddenly become power centric and territorial when it came to work and the need to be the top dog? Even around my SLE boss, sometimes I needed to let him know who created and controls the idea behind the project, and needed him to take a step back. Or moments when you are beaming with a goofy smile and are the clown of the house, and other times solemn and reflective...This is what I mean partly by shift in states of consciousness.
    Oh, yes! For me it's mainly wanting to be successful vs. not wanting to shoulder the responsibility or do the hard grind which leads to success, which is where Se comes in handy I guess.

    Quote Originally Posted by Kent Lorne View Post
    Hope I didn't seem repetitive, sometimes it's a little hard for me to put things in a coherent manner. Sorry about that. Thank you so much!
    Haha not at all! Your writing style reminds me of another IEI forum member who doesn't post here anymore... everything she says is interesting, but it takes me a long tme to digest and think about it so I take forever replying to her messages...
    Quote Originally Posted by Agee The Great View Post
    Nobody here...besides me, seems to know what SLE is except for maybe Maritsa.

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    It's real awesome to hear that someone so spacey as the typical IEI is so attracted to .
    "Oh baby, give me reality models!"
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    not a bumblebee octo's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Aquagraph View Post
    It's real awesome to hear that someone so spacey as the typical IEI is so attracted to .
    "Oh baby, give me reality models!"
    Well, it's more like, "Give me models to interact with so I can ignore reality!"
    Quote Originally Posted by Agee The Great View Post
    Nobody here...besides me, seems to know what SLE is except for maybe Maritsa.

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    Hi Octo! Thank you so much for your reply! And being so patient with all these long posts! (-: Really this is really sweet of you to read all of these posts and thank you so much for sharing your ideas and experiences.

    Your point about Ti and Ni is interesting. More than timing, I meant strategising. Like finding the weak link. That whole go for the jugular thing! But yeah Ni does help here a lot. That's why great teamwork. haha. Also, I was talking about Ti in reference to SLEs being able to explain things with clarity. Absolutely!

    I don't mind the hard work to success. I like working hard, on things that matter to me of course, but I don't like it when people get in the way of that hard work, cause I only got so much energy. I can't keep starting over again. But yeah there is a problem of low physical energy. Mental energy is tremendous. But that's what I liked about my SLE Boss. He created that protective environment where my energies wouldn't go to waste on anything.

    Yeah, true all SLEs and all IEIs won't be cookie - cut same, or any type for that matter. There are so many other aspects of the human being which add to the human consciousness. Education, environment, life experiences etc, other personality systems ( enneagrams! ) haha. My boss is E8w7. The framework the type provides and the patterns and energy systems it causes I definitely saw in my SLE bosses and SLE friends, but they were all different in many other ways. Human beings evolve and grow, experiences and wisdom add a lot to human understanding. I saw that about one of my SLE bosses. He was a far more evolved man than the other SLEs I knew. Duality also requires the couple or friends, partners etc have common interests, vision,belief etc and are on the same frequency at some level. This I realized when even though I admired certain people, I didn't really get along with them after a point, or had nothing to say. But the SLEs and I who had things in common, it felt like I was with me ( but just a different version ). My boss and I felt exactly the same about practically everything. I didn't know this initially. On important issues we were synced. Everything I believed and would talk about, he would nod along in complete approval. We liked the same figures in history, authors etc. Equally passionate about certain things. Even in terms of strategy, work, we were always on the same page. BUT, I would have my days where all of a sudden I am questioning the logic of why I believe something and then suddenly I am in an emotional quicksand! Or I am just hit with a wave of doubt in general. That's when i realized what SLE Ti is all about. That Ti powered with Se literally would jump start my Ti. He would parade his logic with such gusto and it made so much sense that I didn't feel anymore doubt.

    I think even within our cognitive functions, there are levels, or natural progression. What I mean is you might meet lets say two LIEs but you find one of them is just far more developed as a person and also in their ego block functions than another LIE. And when we do start functioning powerfully from our ego block, the ego block starts fueling other blocks, developing them further. Which is probably why after a certain amount of exposure to dual energy you start acting like them or rather can access their energy and strengths too. Because your suggestive and mobilizing functions are safely developing. It was quite an observation... just watching people in certain types. I also read an interesting article about Super ego development. I'll post it here: http://www.socionics.us/practice/super_ego.shtml

    I am sure your bf thinks you bring a lot to the relationship ! (-: And you most certainly do! See this is why I wanted to know how the SLE - IEI duals see each other because the two relationships I have seen, one of them is a married couple who have their own company. They are an amazing team. Just like me and my boss. Ni Fe is not just a cuddly pet! haha. I know I know it SEEMS like we are! And I am sure there is something to that, my boss constantly asked me if I wanted cookies. ( I am not kidding.) (-:

    The couple are both lawyers. Both met at Law school. And they talked about how they use to work together on their projects etc. The SLE told me that his IEI wife would literally go through the material like she was drinking it with her eyes! And she always had this strange look in her I while she doing it. She would work, then get up, work some more, then get up again, work on something else. OR sit for hours and hours and hours with the work without knowing time or space! He found her working methods to be absolutely insane! He says till date he doesn't understand how she does it or how she works or how that brain of hers works because it's absolutely bizarre to him. Her understanding of the cases was trapped in that Ni mind constantly working on it and when the time came... it was magic! Initially he lost to her in a couple of cases. He wasn't able to understand her strategy so he couldn't always catch up quick enough, and he said she always seem to have some odd telepathic knowledge of how he was going to approach the case. His words not mine! But it made sense. Ni + Fe could read him, and play him just as well as he played her. But when they started working together he mentioned how easily they worked together. He mentioned how he felt they do the same thing, just in a different way. Same thing for another couple I know. SLE woman and IEI man this time! Haha. But all my SLE friends told me they marvel their IEIs ability and defer to it many times. They satisfy each other psychologically and emotionally and that circle of psychic energy forms a comfortable aura in which both feel complete and normal. But skill wise they are both equally good. Of course that depends from person to person, in this case they were both equally good lawyers. Here we talk about valuing ethics and logic. A person who values ethics isn't handicapped in logic. They just value ethics. Every strategy my SLE boss could think of, had already crossed my mind, but the ethical aspect was important. I was mentioning this in the thread about " Strategy types" Manipulation and a Machiavellianism way of strategy comes naturally to me, but I won't abuse it. When I see something that affects me... maybe someone in emotional pain or psychological pain, it somewhere causes great deal of turmoil in me and I try to help. Usually from a distance, but it does affect. I think my choices and motivations are right at that time. One of my SLE friends felt I need to be more worldly. I remember yelling back and telling her I am more worldly than any SOB out there! I think the IEIs relationship with ethics is an interesting one. And the SLEs relationship with logic is an interesting one. I don't think anyone is particularly handicapped to a point where it's impossible for them to relate at all to any of the cognitive functions, but yes we value them differently and our relationship and the power we acquire from it is different. But sometimes ethics do get the better of me and things need to be done a certain way and my SLE friends for example would just do it for me. In my experience SLE has ethical notions cross his or her mind but Se + Ti but it doesn't value it in the same way. The ego blocks are far more fueled and can drive longer than the other blocks. Eventually though there is a trickle down effect.

    Socionics after all doesn’t determine skill. I know I am repeating things people already know here. Sorry about that. It does determine how we metabolize information, therefore we all achieve what we want but in different ways. For me my Ni + Fe requires me to be in a non - hostile environment. I can still function, but it would be like 90% of me wouldn’t exist. I would start falling sick. I can’t handle the emotional energy of certain people. My tummy and head start to hurt. As much as I like to act like what other people say or think about me don’t matter to me. Not being loved, supported and maybe even adored can make my life a very lonely one and after a point sickly one. SLE needs to be loved in order to complete and elevate them to a certain extent, but IEI needs to be loved because that’s what creates them, that’s what fuels them. At least for me, I don’t mean to generalize. All this causes me a lot of grief. But my ILI and SLI colleagues don’t have these problems. I really envy this of them. But when it comes to the quality of work and the final product, we all equally do great work. BUT I need a specific environment to do that. They don’t. I don’t think so anyway. I am insanely private. Anyone tramples on that privacy or that space, even an SLE can't hold me down. He would be a kitten in the grasp of an iron fist! I need complete freedom to work the way I like. Even before when I meant freedom and access, I meant in the company. Definitely I require freedom to finish and start things the way I like. But I also require freedom and access to things in the company. I can't have information just kept from me. That pisses me off on levels I can't vocalize! And I vocalize so much so you can imagine what that's like. Keeping information away from me, for me is a sign of mistrust or even a sign that they consider me to be of no value and no importance. That's intolerable. I had to keep telling my boss, it's for his own god damn good! The more I know, the more I can anticipate what will happen and as to what needs to be done. Now I can't go around saying my Ni needs all this! hahaha. They'll think me nuts.. or probably that boat has already sailed. But I can't be kept out of the loop. And if they do, I generally start acquiring information in my own special way.

    Even the inferiority complex… was very initial for me. Afterwards it completely dissipated. I felt comfortable in my body and mind around my dual. Duality by it's very nature is meant to soothe those complexes. It had almost like an unbelievable magical quality. It can be very unnerving if one isn't use to it! I was able to be myself and not a turtle! In the beginning though it really hurt. I felt I wanted something absolutely unapproachable and unattainable. Then later when I read that introverts of a dual pair can feel this way about their extrovert dual partner, it made complete sense. I remember once my boss was praising someone else for something and I just stormed out chanting in my head " He is never going to look at me, he is never going to look at me! " and I was on the verge of frustrated tears when I banged into him and I looked up! I don't think there was any air in me cause I couldn't speak. But when he did look at me, I felt I was alive for the very first time! That's why I am interested in knowing how other duals felt in their initial stages because I had a bad time! Later it was wonderful but the beginning stages really fucked with my head in a very bad way. I felt invisible, unappreciated, unworthy and like I have no reason to exist ! And I always, always felt this way when I met my SLEs for the first time. It bordered on a strange self hatred, almost. which bordered on poor little me syndrome. I am not so bad anymore though. I am more aware. So the only thing I could do was cut away and find my own space and just be myself. It's only when I did this I started seeing ALL the weak spots of my SLEs. That's a piece of eclair for me! Rounding up all the weaknesses and and weak spots in a person or a situation. That's when it dawns on you... No one is THAT perfect! It's an optical illusion! The more time I spent with him I started seeing those little crevices. That in itself was a delight! I felt like a cat who just saw a tasty mouse!! While being in complete admiration of them I can't think like this. They just fill my soul and warm it in ways I can just close my eyes and lie right next to them and never have to move! I just smile and float on paradise. Sleeping next to one, just fixes me! All my emotional and psychological pain just goes away. I wake up like I have been kissed by a sleeping beauty's prince! Honestly I find the initial stages to be a roller coaster! Hatred, love, admiration, self control, no control ! Oh lord, it felt Primal! I don't know if this is a beta thing or something. Later on it is still primal just more control, more love, more equal admiration, and if there is upset and hatred, more voicing of it... hopefully with spankings.

    It's all about perception at the end of the day. You may feel a certain way, but if I were to ask your boss, colleagues, friends , bf they would all tell me you have remarkable capabilities and are bloody good at what you do! And I am sure you are! I always doubt myself too, but reality is something different.

    I was just thinking about this... maybe a way to boil it down could be... IEI validates the ethics of the situation and SLE validates the logic of it. SLE can logically explain what the IEI is thinking and IEI can ethically express what the SLE is feeling. So both are thinking and feeling on the same wavelength. The difference is in who can freely externally express what aspects. And in the mean time, Se and Ni are creating a whirlpool together drinking in from every aspect of their being, everything they can. And everything else is up for grabs!
    Last edited by Kent Lorne; 02-20-2012 at 02:13 PM.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Kent Lorne View Post
    Hi Aquagraph. Yes you are right, my posts are LONG! Sorry about that. I'll try to cut it down way back. Thanks for answering. Really appreciate it. Haha, well if there are no SLEs replying us IEIs got to give it our best shot! Octo's post really helped. I get what you mean and a lot of the descriptions I have read through validate what you say too. But these are probably things you felt after a certain time of knowing your IEIs. But I would appreciate a little more detail if possible, only when you got time of course, no hurry. I was kind of hoping you could tell me a bit about your first interactions with the IEIs you know... how they came off to you at first glance, how the relationship grew and what you felt attracted to. Like I said in the chat forum, how did Ni + Fe come across to you in terms of ideas, mannerisms, behavior, etc. Just examples of such situations. Something like that. About the initial stages.

    You wanna play poor little IEIs! Oh so the SEI gets the playmate, we get the scoundrel???? How is that fair!
    Even when you try to be short you're still long. Have you been taking speed?

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    Haha! I know ... damn it! I tried I really did!

    What does speed have to do with it? You don't require drugs to type long posts! If I type a one liner THEN I am probably on speed!

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    Quote Originally Posted by Kent Lorne View Post
    Haha! I know ... damn it! I tried I really did!

    What does speed have to do with it? You don't require drugs to type long posts! If I type a one liner THEN I am probably on speed!
    it's because of the "lock" that stimulants give people.

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    I would love it if people would comment on the content of the post rather than it's length! Only Octo seems to be commenting.

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    Hmm... well no stimulants here. Other than my mind of course.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Kent Lorne View Post
    I would love it if people would comment on the content of the post rather than it's length! Only Octo seems to be commenting.
    it's a bit long for me. what's the gist>?

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    How do SLEs recognize their duals?
    How do SLEs spot IEIs?
    What attracts a SLE to an IEI? (Especially in the beginning stages)

    Ausra talked of ego block signals we give off to our duals. So how does an SLE pick up on Ni + Fe energy, information or what have you.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Kent Lorne View Post
    How do SLEs recognize their duals?
    it's built into them.

    How do SLEs spot IEIs?
    You just said that.

    What attracts a SLE to an IEI? (Especially in the beginning stages)
    Untapped potential.. a sense of something different.. and a sense of interest.

    Ausra talked of ego block signals we give off to our duals. So how does an SLE pick up on Ni + Fe energy, information or what have you.
    it's built in.

    how does an animal know to fuck?

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    Hmmm... true. It is in built. Good points. Thanks! What do you mean by untapped potential exactly? As in, the IEI might have more capabilities or something? Diamond in the rough. Needs to be polished and shined a bit?

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    Quote Originally Posted by Kent Lorne View Post
    Hmmm... true. It is in built. Good points. Thanks! What do you mean by untapped potential exactly? As in, the IEI might have more capabilities or something? Diamond in the rough. Needs to be polished and shined a bit?
    Well it's Ni pretty much.

    I'm just talking out of my ass.

    What doesn't impress is walls of text. Just get out there, one will find you. But it'll probably be the wrong one.

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    If you're really Ni subtype then Se subtype is your dual. They stick out like a sore thumb.

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    I don't mean to generalize but don't you feel introverts recognize their duals faster than extroverts? There is already one thread on how IEIs view SLEs... that's why I wanted to know of the opposite. Considering the extrovert takes more time. And when they do meet their dual what is it that excites them? I know they feel it, but I just wanted to know WHAT they feel. I like what you said about sense of interest, sense of something different and curious. I would actually love it if SLEs and people who have witnessed SLE/IEI relationships could share a bit about real life examples of their experiences with their IEI duals. I love Aquagraph's story about meeting someone he cared about. Stories like that help me understand better. Without real life examples it's kind of similar to the descriptions and all the other socionic literature. That's why I wanted to join this site, to learn of other people's real life experiences with socionics and also learn more about the theory too.

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    Sorry I didn't read your new posts. True, going out there and meeting them is the best. Real life, nothing like it. Well Se subtypes stick out like a sore thumb to me! I guess I was wondering if my Ni subtype sticks out like a sore thumb to them! (-: But like you said, you have to go out there and meet them. I do have experience with them. But I worked for them. It was a business relationship. Not a romantic relationship.

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    Well the walls of text were replies to Octo. I don't see the problem with walls of text. Just a mattering of sharing. When one talks it's fluid, but when one writes that fluidity is lost. Anywho, is there a way to delete the walls of text?

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    Okay found a way to delete the texts.

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    pretty good thread. I second everything octo has said. Very similar to what I've experienced also. And I do think some of this is just instinctual. An SLE just feels calmer or relaxed around IEI once he knows she's not going to judge him, and that most of the stuff he says makes her laugh which validates him. And I think it's also about mystery. IEIs can be mysterious and unpredictable. SLEs love that. As well as the open-mindedness that surprises him when he sees her as pure or untainted initially. And then he feels he can let down his guard even more and that he's accepted by her, even his less traditional and dirty-minded self. LOL

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    Hi Redbaron! Thanks a lot! You actually cleared a lot of things for me in your post. I like the way you put it that it's about a non judgmental environment. More than perception, you actually explained the reason behind that perception. Thanks for that. Doesn't the SLE ever laugh at the IEI's jokes? (-: I think I was a bit confused with the stereotype of the cuddly bear look. I know IEIs who don't look like they belong on a care bear episode! haha. I don't get the pure and untainted aspect... The confusion is in how I feel versus what SLEs see. I don't feel calm. My mind is going through a million thoughts. But to the SLE I still come off calm... I don't feel pure and untainted, but yet that's how it comes off. That's where I am confused.

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    Both my SLE bf & SLE female friend have described me as pure, kind hearted, loyal, a really good girl & someone that they can trust 100%. They've both said that it's something that they've struggle to be themselves & that they admire me for those traits (which is odd because I wouldn't use those words to describe myself at all!!). I also bring out the silliness in them & allow them to let their guard down. My bf has said that no other girl has ever treated him so well.

    As far as negative things, my bf tends to see me as unorganized and he'll often say that I live in the "land of unicorns" because he sees me as so spacey, pensive & evasive of reality. He'll also comment that I'm often too unrealistic in the way I view the world.

    Though in my defense, I've gotten a lot better in that aspect by getting my shit together and living a healthy lifestyle (In the beginning of our relationship I never ate & when you starve your body of food & nutrients you become brain-dead & not yourself). He compliments me on this all the time & loves seeing my improvements which he always seems to credit to himself lol. The other day he said "I've made you into such a cool girl. I always do this to people. I improve them, and then they don't need me anymore & leave me "
    Last edited by fox; 02-20-2012 at 06:20 PM.
    Quote Originally Posted by jxrtes View Post
    betas should be kept in zoos for children to stare and throw pop corn at.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Starfall View Post
    Both my SLE bf & SLE female friend have described me as pure, kind hearted, loyal, a really good girl & someone that they can trust 100%. They've both said that it's something that they've struggle to be themselves & that they admire me for those traits (which is odd because I wouldn't use those words to describe myself at all!!). I also bring out the silliness in them & allow them to let their guard down. My bf has said that no other girl has ever treated him so well.

    As far as negative things, my bf tends to see me as unorganized and he'll often say that I live in the "land of unicorns" because he sees me as so spacey, pensive & evasive of reality. He'll also comment that I'm often too unrealistic in the way I view the world.

    Though in my defense, I've gotten a lot better in that aspect by getting my shit together and living a healthy lifestyle (In the beginning of our relationship I never ate & when you starve your body of food & nutrients you become brain-dead & not yourself). He compliments me on this all the time & loves seeing my improvements which he always seems to credit to himself lol. The other day he said "I've made you into such a cool girl. I always do this to people. I improve them, and then they don't need me anymore & leave me "
    Thanks Starfall. I think that's where I am having trouble. I don't see myself as pure, kind hearted, loyal or trustworthy. Loyalty is earned in my opinion, it is not just handed over. Most people consider loyalty a virtue. I think it's like love... it has to be inspired and earned. Blind loyalty is like blind love. Again trust is earned too. The notion of pure and kind hearted seem very limited and almost archaic in some way to me. I don't relate to any of these terms. They seem polarized. They don't encompass a higher truth nor do they transcend the dichotomy of duality. Duality in the sense of opposites.. like good and evil, pure and impure etc. On a philosophical level I don't seem to relate to these images. What I do relate to as redbaron said is... unjudgement... mysterious... unpredictable. Three things I most certainly relate to, and quite comfortably. I rather be seen as human. One of my SLE friends felt I hide these aspects of me. He felt I had a pathological need to hide all the good that I do. He has pointed out on several occasions how I have constantly proven a level of unconditional loyalty and love towards people. And that I am the only person he trusts. But I just don't see myself as any of these things. I sometimes feel my SLE friends are idiots for believing all this because they have no idea what I am actually capable of. They are constantly on their guard, and the one time they take their guard down is in front of someone who can massacre them and turn their insides out in a split second. How can they be so blind when they seem to know everything else? Do the IEI and ILIs somewhere become a part of the unseen reality as well? Is that why they cannot see us? I remember my SLE boss once saying ... you are a good person and I reacted rather irrationally and with an upstart and said " No I am not!" Now this is my boss, so it was a little weird. He looked at me like he got hit on the head! My SLE friends have actually said statements like that cause me great disturbance. It's very confusing for me. But then I also go a bit nuts when certain LSE and SLE have called me cold, unfeeling and detached. Then my SLE calls me warm, loving and caring. I think I preferred the cold and detached. At least they will never know the true me. Is the IEI just as uncomfortable showing their insides as the SLE. The one thing one of my SLE friends got right was that they always feel there is an inner turbulence and purgatory going on inside me... constantly. He seems to soothe that though. Does being a Harmonizing IEI have anything to do with all this? I don't know?

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    whenever I was bullied at school, which happened frequently (fuck i hated that place haha), the SLEs would always stand up for me. They are like Warriors. SLEs got really pissed off when somebody asked me to redo something and they sense really well when somebody's sensitivity is being taken advantage of.

    They are like...protective bulldogs.

    I have a best fag hag who is SLE. We get along incredibly well. She is like my guard dog. Anybody that is rude to me she bites their leg.

    so SLE sees the IEI as somebody who needs to be protected. when they don't understand me they are really cute about it instead of like hounding that I need to be tougher. They apply that to themselves. They appreciate softness in other people. They are very direct and clear and empathetic in a babyish way when they need me to clarify something and they will just smile at me lovingly when I tell them.

    I am way too nice and naive and innocent. Even when I'm 'badass' I still have this retarded hope for humanity that is just BS. the sle knows very physically what people are like... but yet they are attracted to the ideals of the IEI. The IEI will not know or realize just how idealistic he or she is being.

    when some people stick up for me they are really mediate ish about it. Some ISFps and ESFps can get pissed off if they see me being treated unfairly in some way... but their way of dealing with it is just a more diplomatic approach, where I take at least 25% of the blame for being 'too victimy'. The SLE doesn't see it that way because they actually like me being so victimy, in a way that even ESFps don't. I appreciate anybody defending me but only the SLE knows how to do it in a way that is just totally visceral and 'real' or something. And I do already realize this is just a personal romantic bias.

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