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Thread: agape

  1. #1
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    Default agape

    I'm sorry.

    Last edited by HERO; 04-21-2013 at 12:34 PM.

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    It's really hard for me to type someone from their right arm
    and their singing voice. Perhaps I'm an amateur.

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    I didn't really post that video for typing purposes, per se. I should probably try making another video of me talking like I did in the past. Yet like I said, I didn't really intend for this thread to centre on videos or anything--it's just incidental.

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    Quote Originally Posted by agape View Post
    I didn't really post that video for typing purposes, per se. I should probably try making another video of me talking like I did in the past. Yet like I said, I didn't really intend for this thread to centre on videos or anything--it's just incidental.
    Oh. I must have missed where you said that.
    I don't see it in the thread.

  5. #5
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    Anyway, I have to go back to sleep. I didn't really sleep enough.

    I thought I should add that I considered k0rpsey to be one of the smartest people here, if not the smartest, along with The Ineffable . . .

    I'm trying to remember if there was anything in Virginia Woolf's The Waves that used the words/phrase "the 'ineffable'" or something...

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    Quote Originally Posted by agape View Post
    I thought I should add that I considered k0rpsey to be one of the smartest people here, if not the smartest, along with The Ineffable . . .
    Thanks but I'm actually a pretentious moron. Don't be fooled, bro. Also:

    - my Aunt: "Romantic love is a trap. It doesn't function and it brings only heart break.
    I believe only in love as agape, as friendship between two kindred minds and souls.
    Two human beings who share similar interests, can communicate and are stable and strong separately to be able to sustain the times together in a balanced way.
    But most relationships are far from that, hence so much suffering, resentment..."
    Based on the various sayings attributed to your aunt that you've placed in your signature, if she is in fact a living human female then I would like to fornicate with this delightfully cynical being.

  7. #7
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    Nevertheless I've still often considered The Ineffable to be quite a cool intelligent, albeit rigid, person. [But this is probably because I'm actually literally a moron at Socionics and I find it to be rather arid and boring for the most part -- and what is popular psychology exactly; I don't think Lloyd deMause is popular psychology either for instance, but at least he actually has the potential to change the world... and his ideas have already had an effect -- i.e. parenting centres, etc.] There are and there will continue to be times when the status quo doesn't always prevail, when the house doesn't always win.


    It's kind of cool that you said that about my Aunt. She's quite an interesting person. And she is living and genuinely female. I think she's published at least two novels in Romanian.


    Here are some things my aunt had to say (about me):

    "Any way regarding your social skills and writing - I think you are very perceptive and you can detect subtle things in human nature. This is very important for a writer.
    What you lack is the talent to act according to some conventional models which are socially successful among human beings. You are sincere and express your real self. Whereas a person with social skills never does that, he/she just enacts a certain pattern of pleasant behaviour."

    "You have a real gift for writing and a very original mind. It is just that relating to people is not your strong point, and maybe even this characteristic or lack (as you would see it) was not assigned to your personality randomly but with a plan. On earth as above, as the esoteric philosophers say. There is no randomness and our suffering derives from our lack of a systemic understanding - system being a very very wide concept.
    "


    Perhaps I am an Introvert. Yet here's something I once wrote on socionics.com:
    "A) I'm thinking about possibly being a writer/novelist one day. I'd like to be able to channel the alienation, traumas, tragedies, illusions, and universality of "existence," and transform them into stories, allegories, fables, novels, etc.

    B) I saw District 9, and I thought it was interesting. The "identity crisis"... What is humanity? What is manhood? What is adulthood?... The chimera of "confusion" -- the pain of repressed traumas meandering their way through the vast latticework of skillfully-built "unconscious" deceit, lies, numbness, commercialization, consumerism, hypocrisy, sugars, chemicals, etc.
    I thought the best part was when the protagonist decided to seek refuge among the aliens despite his sentimental ties to humans."

    And the forum member 'yellowfever765' responded -- 'Cool. You have a lot to say about District 9. I believe you're Extraverted, primarily isolating yourself from your experience of watching the movie and focusing more on its characteristics

    (This information was taken from http://www.socionics.us/theory/ext_int.shtml "Extraverts perceive world as objects that can be taken apart, studied, known, and compared to each other; extrapolate ties between objects from objects' characteristics".)'
    Last edited by HERO; 09-20-2012 at 05:18 AM.

  8. #8
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    Proverbs 17:28 -- Even anyone foolish, when keeping silent, will be regarded as wise; anyone closing up his own lips, as having understanding.

    Proverbs 18:1 -- One isolating himself will seek [his own] selfish longing; against all practical wisdom he will break forth.

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    edited for straightness
    Last edited by HERO; 04-07-2013 at 08:31 AM.

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    You are sexy yourself. And very gay-masculine like. =)

  11. #11
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    Thanks. I don't think I often see myself as being sexy . . . Perhaps it's more of a state of mind or sense of confidence. I probably tend to focus too much on the negatives (although I'm not connecting this to Socionics "negativism" since they're not really related). I'm probably more of a "Positivist" in Socionics since in the past I've been too trusting; and I've often wanted to find or see the world/life in one unified way, or to believe that there's only one unified ideal vision of the world/society, which is often incorrect. Probably one thing that doesn't correspond with negativism for me is that I tend to be very tense as opposed to relaxed.

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    But you are sexy. I really mean that. You can see yourself anyway you want to in that huge brain of yours. But what is real or not will in the end reveal itself to you, like a shocking lightning bolt in the sky. =p Sometimes it's like you play the victim on purpose just so I will say nice things about you. But it's okay I don't mind it really I just think it's kinda cute.

  13. #13
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    Well I don't really want to play the victim. I guess there are some things that are so ingrained that I find it really hard to escape. There's one thing in particular that also has a physical effect, and it would probably take a lot of time, diligence, following what I'm learning, etc. to heal . . . it might take years.

    Anyway, I'm grateful that you're saying nice things about me and that you're nice. Yet if there was any intent on my part, it must be unconscious. I can't say I'm fishing for it. I just have a way of letting things stay the same [repeating (toxic emotional) patterns], stagnate, or get worse. It's hard for me to be hopeful about the future.


    Fe-INFp singers/musicians I like: PJ Harvey, Jorane, Sarah Slean, Regina Spektor, Stevie Nicks [Fleetwood Mac], Kat Bjelland [Babes in Toyland], Chris Carrabba [Dashboard Confessional], Kurt Cobain, Adele, Avril Lavigne, Morrissey/The Smiths, Eminem, Melissa Auf der Maur, Mitch Lucker (of Suicide Silence), Jack White, etc.

    Beta Introvert(s): . . . . Neil Young, Lou Reed, Raine Maida [Our Lady Peace]

    Ni-INFp singers/musicians I like: Trent Reznor, Thom Yorke, Tori Amos, Fiona Apple, Win Butler [Arcade Fire], Amy Lee, Josh Homme [Queens of the Stone Age], Dido, Kate Bush, Lana Del Rey, etc.

    Fe-ENFj singers/musicians I like: Sheryl Crow, Chantal Kreviazuk, Melanie Doane, Sarah McLachlan, Martha Wainwright, Nelly Furtado, JoJo, Lauryn Hill, Ani DiFranco, Kathleen Edwards (?)

    Ni-ENFj singers/musicians I like: Taylor Swift, Shirley Manson [of Garbage], Marilyn Manson, Amanda Palmer [The Dresden Dolls], Liz Phair, Christina Aguilera

    Se-ESTp singers/musicians I like: Courtney Love, Brody Dalle, 50 Cent, Bif Naked, Henry Rollins [Black Flag]

    Ti-ESTp singers/musicians I like: Bruce Springsteen, Amy Winehouse, Madonna, Mark Hoppus [Blink-182], Gwen Stefani [No Doubt]

    Singers/musicians that may or may not be from other quadras: Pixies (Black Francis, etc.); Aimee Mann (?), Jewel, Bob Dylan, Lucinda Williams, Feist, The Rolling Stones, Alanis Morissette, Michelle Branch, Enya, Vanessa Carlton, Melissa Etheridge, Bryan Adams, Coldplay [mainly first two albums; I started listening to them before my Mom, yet my Mom likes them more (now)], etc.

    Se-ISTj singers/musician(s) I like or just some of their songs: Billy Idol, Lou Reed (more so), Neil Young [more so]

    LSI/Beta (Rational): Raine Maida [Our Lady Peace]

    Ti-ISTj: Emily Haines, Kathleen Edwards (?)


    IEI: Win Butler (Arcade Fire), Sarah Harmer, Billy Corgan [The Smashing Pumpkins], Interpol, Audioslave,

    Beta: Matthew Good, Japandroids, Erykah Badu, Katy Perry, Chris Isaak, Janis Joplin, Mos Def, Brandon Boyd (Incubus)

    Beta NF: Morrissey [The Smiths]


    This list isn't (necessarily) exhaustive, yet it's all that I could come up with for now.
    Last edited by HERO; 04-07-2013 at 08:44 AM.

  14. #14
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    I think my biggest worry in life is that I'll never accomplish the things I really need to, and primarily because of being self-defeating, lazy, afraid, pessimistic, negative, isolated, etc. So I often worry that I'll never heal or get better. I need to somehow get past those worries. The main thing I know is that I'm not ready for a (sexual) relationship. I really don't want to do that again right now. Maybe it's like Buffy, maybe it's not. I'm just not ready. And I'm not in love.


    Anyway, I think this character from The Young and the Restless really exemplifies some Ni-ENFj's:



    I'm probably wrong, but behavior- and personality-wise she really seems to resemble, at least some, EIE(-Ni)'s in real life and online, in particular.

    People, I've typed in my class:

    1 Fi-INFj (female)

    maybe 2 Ti-ESTp's (male)
    [now it might be just one--whatever he is he's definitely logical and probably not Alpha NT (ENTp or INTj) nor INTp]

    1 Se-ESTp (male)

    1 Fe-ESFj (female)

    at least 1 SEE (Fi-ESFp) [female]

    1 Ti-ISTj (female)

    1 Fe-ISFp (female)

    maybe one Te-ESTj (female)

    one Ni-ENFj (female)

    maybe one ?Fi-ENFp? (female)

    maybe one Ti-ENTp (male)

    New Class [additional and identical people (I think I may know the types of)]:

    maybe 1 Ti-INTj (female)

    maybe 1 Ti-INTj or Ti-ISTj (male)

    Ni-ENFj (male)

    1 Se-ESTp (male)

    maybe 1 Ti-ENTp (male)

    maybe 1 Ti-ESTp (male)

    maybe 1 SLI (ISTp) [male]

    and of course the Ne-ENTp teacher, but he's leaving on vacation... and I'll have to type the new teacher. at least that's one motivation to keep going, although I'm feeling really overwhelmed right now. Anyway, this is definitely one thing I can't afford to give up. It's not like paradoxical relaxation -- I can decrease the frequency of doing it assuring myself that I'll do it more in the near future. I know, since adolescence anyway, it's often been 'when the going gets tough, give up/surrender'. I don't want to be like that anymore. It's still a challenge, though.
    Last edited by HERO; 04-07-2013 at 08:45 AM.

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    Hopefully you will find a happy relationship. I get your quotes about romantic love, but it also seems kind of sad to me. I've seen happy relationships work out with people. I don't know. Maybe they just got really lucky, maybe everybody just isn't that lucky. It hasn't happened for me yet either. =/

  16. #16
    Marxist Ne’er-do-well Red Villain's Avatar
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    Something with ego
    "We have no compassion and we ask no compassion from you. When our turn comes, we shall not make excuses for the terror.".

  17. #17
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    Quote Originally Posted by BulletsAndDoves View Post
    Hopefully you will find a happy relationship. I get your quotes about romantic love, but it also seems kind of sad to me. I've seen happy relationships work out with people. I don't know. Maybe they just got really lucky, maybe everybody just isn't that lucky. It hasn't happened for me yet either. =/
    Well I don't know. Maybe people seem happy . . . but there's more to life . . .

    I don't know about my aunt. "Romantic love is a trap..." is her idea . . . sort of her way of comforting me since after more than 2 years (it's going to be three years around July) I've still been sort of mourning the loss of my first and only relationship. It was one of the only times I could say that I was ever really happy with someone romantically, and it wasn't just platonic/friendship. I'm still not completely over the first relationship I ever had, pretty much the only one. I still feel weird and stupid about it, yet I don't really consider it that important anymore.

    I'm not sure about my Aunt's type; she could be Fe-ego if she's Beta NF (maybe Ni-ENFj). Otherwise she might be IEE.

    I'm probably not as cynical, jaded, or pessimistic as I appear to be. I just don't want to give myself away and/or just be with someone because they seem to like me or whatever. More often than not, I haven't trusted my instincts adequately or followed my truth. Friendships and socializing and the like can work better, and romance and/or sex probably shouldn't be enacted due to, in states of, or just because of loneliness, desperation, (co-)dependence, fear; or just to please someone or make them happy. It should only happen if you genuinely want to and it feels right, and not just because (the other person seems to want it to happen or whatever). You can't really force these things. And I guess I'm just less trusting than I used to be. I can't say I really want sex or a relationship right now.

  18. #18
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    Ab Major (Libra)




    D Major (Aquarius)

    Last edited by HERO; 04-07-2013 at 08:46 AM.

  19. #19
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    First e-mail I ever sent to William ("Billy Wayne")

    tired of hiding
    Monday, February 18, 2008 10:39 PM
    From:
    "lazybones"

    To:


    Dear Billy Wayne,

    I am lazybones and I'm just turning 19 years old on February 18th. I currently live in Edmonton, Alberta which happens to be where I've resided for most of my life. Thus far it's been a life I struggle to really comprehend. Somewhat of an empty, "sheltered," starved existence with no genuine moral guidance or joie de vivre. Nevertheless I am grateful for discovering your sites which opened my eyes to a matter I had previously been ignorant of.
    The last several years or so have been very difficult for me. Although I've never been sexually involved with anyone, and have to a significant extent isolated myself socially, in the span of roughly four years I developed a tenuously intense infatuation with someone who I seldom saw after 2004.
    The only other relatively brief and random times I've seen this individual were in early 2007 and this year. In 2007 the 'apparition' had been at the Pride Centre, which I only visited 3 or 4 times. This year it was at the library, and I had no idea what was in store.
    It turns out the person I liked, who I generally viewed to be "masculine," is biologically 'intersexed' or a 'hermaphrodite.' On the outside this individual is virtually entirely male, just on the inside he has ovaries yet no uterus. He's also had a 'disadvantaged' life, or at least one that has to some extent definitely been more virulently tragic than mine. I believe his biological mother was a promiscuous alcoholic who abandoned him at birth wherefore he spent the first three years of his life in a hospital. He was later adopted by a single man who was a teacher and I assume had an arid 'religious' personality.
    When I knew about frot, although not knowing that much about him personally, I couldn't help fantasizing about him. I think he's a person who's been burdened too much with the projections of other people and society. Of course being born the way he was is relatively rare, yet that doesn't mean it has to be a bad thing in his case, or something that requires a drastic measure like a sex change to solve. There may be many other forces that shape who he is now: the consistently flawed and warped messages he's received from his culture on gender roles and orientation, his unfortunately bleak and turbulent childhood, his friends, associates, and fiancee, and his world's failure to truly help anyone including him.
    You see when observing him I've noticed that his prominent masculine features and behaviors seem more 'natural,' and less 'contrived,' although he's felt impelled to mutilate them in his mind and believe he's really a 'woman.' One could say he's 50% female, and that even his brain actually holds the instructions for his other more apparent half, the masculine or male. Nevertheless some might say this is a case where a sex change is actually justified. That's probably what his fiancee thinks. I don't though. It seems too simple.
    My life hasn't been too straightforward either. I grew up to suffer from 'anxiety,' miss tons of school, weather the storm of discovering a family secret that was kept hidden from me for years, and most recently 'unwittingly' place myself in a strangely compromising situation in relation to this individual and his fiancee that made me homeless for a week. I've suffered from my own 'brand' of internalized homophobia, effeminacy, or a general lack of natural masculinity. I don't know how 'effeminate' I really am. Maybe it's more that I'm too unsure of myself. I almost superficially idealize and agonize too much over others and don't place myself in a proper perspective.
    My earnest goal is to eventually help contribute to your organization. I should be getting a job soon, and even if things don't work out I'm planning on getting off the ground one way or another. I've had to deal with roughly three hospitalizations in the past four years, scores of scarring medications like Zyprexa (Olanzapine) that I feel have damaged my body more than my brain, and I'm tired of hiding to protect myself from something that might not actually be much worse than what I've already had to deal with. Maybe I'm still not too healthy, and not entirely prepared to face the world. Yet I hope that through cultivating a higher form of honesty and becoming more concerned with important matters I can change things for the better.
    I have read a lot of things from your site. Some of it even made me cry due to the contrast between your passion and my lonely apathetic insane existence. I felt sorry that Patrick hasn't been feeling well, and that things can't somehow be better for all of us. I'd like to leave this world happier than it was when I was born into it.

    Yours Sincerely,
    lazybones.
    Last edited by HERO; 03-26-2012 at 10:49 PM.

  20. #20
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    I think the substitute teacher might be Fe-ENFj. I think my latest over-all average was like 94% or something. It's probably going to go down soon. Being stuck/trapped with people (one in particular) in real life who you don't know if you really like or if you have any real chemistry with and aren't (really) attracted to is confusing and kind of scary. Now I know how some loveless marriages might've formed. "Love" is scariest when you don't actually feel it. At least I haven't had sex with him yet. I've been seeing him for about five months, not too often . . . and I don't know. I just hope that at the very least I can trust him. If he doesn't turn out to be some (dissociated) rapist then we're five by five.

    Last edited by HERO; 04-07-2013 at 08:47 AM.

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    Haha, you're still posting in this thread.

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    “The Jungian doctrine of the shadow, and the notion that evil is the reverse of good, are aimed at denying

    the reality of evil. But evil is real. It is not innate but acquired, and it is never the reverse of good but rather its

    destroyer….It is not true that evil, destructiveness, and perversion inevitably form part of human existence, no

    matter how often this is maintained. But it is true that evil is always engaged in producing more evil and, with

    it, an ocean of suffering for millions that is similarly avoidable. When one day the ignorance arising from

    childhood repression is eliminated and humanity has awakened, an end can be put to this production of evil.”

    --Alice Miller

    from Banished Knowledge
    Last edited by HERO; 04-21-2013 at 10:56 AM.

  23. #23
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    Are you Yury?

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    Yes.

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    after a long day, reading through your thread and watching your video/s was rather inspiring and calming.

    i think some NF is good for your type, including Delta NF because you seem more emotionally muted in way i often associate with Fi, rather than the particular expressiveness of Fe, but i won't seriously argue with IEI; i may have said this at some time before

    Quote Originally Posted by agape View Post
    I'm probably not as cynical, jaded, or pessimistic as I appear to be. I just don't want to give myself away and/or just be with someone because they seem to like me or whatever. More often than not, I haven't trusted my instincts adequately or followed my truth. Friendships and socializing and the like can work better, and romance and/or sex probably shouldn't be enacted due to, in states of, or just because of loneliness, desperation, (co-)dependence, fear; or just to please someone or make them happy. It should only happen if you genuinely want to and it feels right, and not just because (the other person seems to want it to happen or whatever). You can't really force these things.
    i can relate, though i do tend to follow my intuition and instincts. however i worry about my feelings of both platonic and romantic loneliness sometimes, hoping they don't eventually cause me to do something desperate that i may regret. i am quite tired of the feelings, though i'm aware they're largely self-imposed as a means of self-preservation and in response to being hurt in the past.

  26. #26
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    Agape, have you considered SEI? Why or why not?

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    Quote Originally Posted by glam View Post
    after a long day, reading through your thread and watching your video/s was rather inspiring and calming.

    i think some NF is good for your type, including Delta NF because you seem more emotionally muted in way i often associate with Fi, rather than the particular expressiveness of Fe, but i won't seriously argue with IEI; i may have said this at some time before


    i can relate, though i do tend to follow my intuition and instincts. however i worry about my feelings of both platonic and romantic loneliness sometimes, hoping they don't eventually cause me to do something desperate that i may regret. i am quite tired of the feelings, though i'm aware they're largely self-imposed as a means of self-preservation and in response to being hurt in the past.
    Thanks for replying to my thread. I agree -- NF makes the most sense, with INFp being the most likely... I think when I first started with typology there was a book by David Keirsey, and I got INFP on the test. That doesn't necessarily equate with Socionics, although sometimes people test as P[erceiving] in Myers-Briggs/Keirsey and p[erceiving] in Socionics.

    Well I need to work on my social skills, etc. I think finding at least one friend who is a good influence and who you can relate to is good, obviously, and if you have that in real life it can help. Regarding being overwhelmed by feelings, sometimes journaling can help, writing and analyzing dreams, and doing other things that are constructive, productive, healthy, etc. As long as we don't do things that are destructive and damaging then we're moving in the right direction. I'm often overwhelmed by loneliness, and sometimes I may feel like (some) people in real life don't really like me... yet I guess I have to wake up and focus on what I have and build and improve on that.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Maritsa Darmandzhyan View Post
    Agape, have you considered SEI? Why or why not?
    SEI (ISFp) or SEE (ESFp), because I think the poll shows that you voted for SEE (ESFp), which could be kind of cool if it were true.

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    http://innerself.com/content/self-he...younghans.html

    'AS ONE OF the transpersonal planets, Uranus is the ruler of higher consciousness and the Unified Field where all information is stored. When Uranus' energy is strong, our intuitive faculties may be heightened, and we find ourselves knowing something without knowing how we know it.

    On the other hand, with the field of electrical/intellectual energy especially strong, we can also feel less stable mentally. As the field of higher consciousness draws closer, our human brains must learn how to navigate in unfamiliar territory.

    With this part of the Uranus effect in mind, it's interesting to read the Sabian symbol for the 9th degree of Aries, where Uranus stations this week:

    "A crystal gazer: The development of an inner realization of organic wholeness."

    THIS IMAGE tells us that throughout Uranus' five-month retrograde phase (ending December 13), we will collectively be working to expand our abilities to tap into that Unified Field of Consciousness. As this occurs, telepathic experiences will no doubt increase, and extra-sensory abilities of many descriptions will be enhanced.

    For those who are comfortable with these concepts, this can be a very exciting time! And, those who are fearful may need support and reassurance that they are not losing their sanity.'

    "WHEN PLANETS are retrograde, they are asking us to go inward, to rely less on externals and to build new levels of inner skill in some area. Since Mercury represents our conscious, reasoning mind and external communication abilities, when Mercury is retrograde, we are being asked to remember what it means to live more intuitively and less logically."

    "THERE IS ALSO a certain element of Coyote energy about a Mercury retrograde period. The Trickster can be problematic if we're too set in our ways, if we're not flexible and cannot laugh at ourselves.

    Try to remember this aspect of Mercury retrograde if you experience some frustrations in the next few weeks. See if you can step back from the situation and get a glimpse of the humor, even if it's just to laugh at how human we can all be at times. A lighter attitude can go a long way toward easing the bumps in the road."

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    *puts head on your chest and sighs*

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    - from Forbidden Colors by Yukio Mishima; pp. 317-319 (26—Sobering Summer): When the three men finished eating, twilight had enshrouded the lawn tables. The patrons were suddenly gone; the loudspeaker was silent. All that remained was the sound of waves. Kawada left his seat. Between the old man and Yuichi there fell a silence that had become habitual now.
    After a time Shunsuke spoke.
    “You’ve changed.”
    “Is that so?”
    “You certainly have. It frightens me. I had a hunch it would happen. I had a hunch that sometime the day must come that the person you were would disappear. Because you are radium. You are a radioactive substance. Now that I think about it, I have feared it for a long time. Still, to a certain extent, you are the person you were before. So now, I think, we should part company.”
    The word “part” made the youth laugh. “ ‘Part,’ you say? You make it seem as if there was something between us up to now, sir.”
    “Surely there has been something. Do you doubt it?”
    “I only understand you in the vulgar sense.”
    “There! That expression wouldn’t have been used by the old you.”
    “In that case, I’d better keep quiet.”
    Yuichi was not aware of the long-standing perplexity and the deep deliberation that these casual words of the author expressed. Shunsuke exhaled deeply in the darkness.
    There was indeed in Shunsuke Hinoki a profound perplexity about his own creation. This perplexity had its abysses, and it had its vistas. If he were a young man, he would soon have recovered from his perplexity. To him at his age, however, the value of that awakening was doubtful. Is not awakening an even deeper delusion? Where are we going? Why do we wish to wake up? Since humanity is an illusion, is not the supremely wise awakening the erection of well-disciplined, logical, artificial illusions in the midst of this greater, highly complicated, uncontrollable illusion? The will not to awaken, the will not to recover, now maintained Shunsuke’s health.
    His love for Yuichi was part of that perplexity. He worried; he suffered. The well-known irony of the formal beauty of his work, the spiritual pain and confusion expended in disciplining his emotions, and yet the irony that only through the disciplining would a final, real confession of the pain and the confusion be attained—all these struggled in him now. By holding fast to the course he had planned at the beginning, he maintained the right and the initiative of confession. If love went so far as to take away his right of confession as the artist saw it, the love he had not confessed would not exist.
    Yuichi’s transformation, in Shunsuke’s sharp eyes, had sketched out this dangerous possibility.
    “It hurts, but at any rate . . .” Shunsuke’s voice, hoarse with age, came from the darkness, “even though it hurts me more than I can express, Yuchan, I think for the time being we’d better not see each other. Up till now you were the one to cavil about whether you would see me. You were the one who would not meet me. Now it is I saying we should not meet. If ever the necessity arises, however, if for some reason it becomes necessary to see me, then I will meet you gladly. Now, I suppose you don’t think that necessity will arise . . .”
    “No.”
    “That’s what you think, but . . .”
    Shunsuke’s hand touched Yuichi’s as it lay on the armrest. Though it was midsummer, Shunsuke’s hand was extremely cold.
    “At any rate, we won’t meet again until then.”
    “All right—if that’s what you wish, sir.”
    Fishing torches flickered in the offing. Conscious that they would probably not have the opportunity again for a time, they fell into their familiar, uncomfortable silence.



    The Stricken Children

    The Wishing Well was a spring
    bubbling clear and soundless into a shallow pool
    less than three feet across, a hood of rocks
    protecting it, smallest of grottoes, from falling leaves,
    the pebbles of past wishes peacefully under-water, old desires
    forgotten or fulfilled. No one threw money in, one had to search
    for the right small stone.

    This was the place from which
    year after year in childhood I demanded my departure,
    my journeying forth into the world of magical
    cities, mountains, otherness—the place which gave
    what I asked, and more; to which
    still wandering, I returned this year, as if
    to gaze once more at the face
    of an ancient grandmother.
    And I found the well
    filled to the shallow brim
    with debris of a culture’s sickness—
    with bottles, tins, paper, plastic—
    the soiled bandages
    of its aching unconsciousness.

    Does the clogged spring still moisten
    the underlayer of waste?
    Was it children threw in the rubbish?
    Children who don’t dream, or dismiss
    their own desires and
    toss them down, discarded packaging?
    I move away, walking fast, the impetus
    of so many journeys, pushes me on,
    but where are the stricken children of this time, this place,
    to travel to, in Time if not in Place,
    the grandmother wellspring choked, and themselves not aware
    of all they are doing-without?

    Denise Levertov

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    http://innerself.com/content/self-he...younghans.html

    Pam Younghans: 'WEDNESDAY appears to be a turning-point day for the week of August 13. On that day, Venus interacts with energy of the Pluto-Uranus square, Mars aligns with Saturn in Libra, and Chiron trines Venus. Any one of these influences acting by itself could affect the course of our relationships. Having them all occur on the same day is even more significant.

    We'll start to feel the energy shift on Tuesday the 14th, as the Sun steps into place to work with Uranus and Pluto. This interaction should fire up our need to express our individuality, while also making it apparent where current structures seem to be interfering with our personal fulfillment.

    THE THREE VENUS ASPECTS on Wednesday are an energetic mouthful, so it may be easiest to take them one bite at a time:

    The Venus-Pluto opposition intensifies our awareness of trust issues. We feel more sensitive than usual, and are more likely to react defensively to perceived threats. The positive effect of this aspect is to bring issues into our awareness that have been brushed under the carpet. This will enable us to bring greater honesty into our relationships, but we will need to be careful of using truth as an excuse to be hurtful.

    The Venus-Uranus square pushes our "I need to be me" buttons, which isn't usually conducive to the patience and moderation needed to keep relationships on an even keel. If we've been denying something important about our needs, this aspect will exaggerate those needs so that we can no longer ignore them. This is a good time to allow everyone a bit of latitude, since all of us will likely be more focused on ourselves and less worried about accommodating the needs of others.

    The Venus-Chiron trine provides the energy of healing and brings compassion into our interactions -- which it sounds like will be very helpful, given the intensity of the Pluto and Uranus aspects. This trine should help us move into a higher perspective with regards to our relationships. The key will be to letting go of the need to be right and releasing our grip on power struggles that may arise. If we can move into the energy of the high heart, we will be much happier with the outcomes.

    THE SATURN-MARS alignment -- also on Wednesday the 15th! -- marks an important shift point, an ending and a beginning. Saturn represents the themes of discipline and self-reliance, while Mars inspires us to take action and to find the courage needed to embark on new paths.'

    'THE NEW MOON on Friday, August 17, is in Leo, inspiring us to have the Lion's courage as we begin anew. Leo is a fire sign, and when operating at its highest vibration is inspired and creative, fully engaged in life's adventure and enjoying the present moment.

    The Sabian symbol for the location of the Sun and Moon at the time of the lunation is very encouraging:

    "After a heavy storm, a rainbow: Linking above and below, the Convenant with one's divine nature, the promise of immortality."

    Dane Rudhyar's interpretation of this symbol in his book An Astrological Mandala takes us further into the hopeful metaphor of the rainbow:

    "As we come to this level, we find we have been able to weather the cathartic storm; because we have been victorious, a link has been established with our divine Soul-being. Both the human and the divine partners should remain thus linked.

    "The symbol of the rainbow shows us the need to maintain a state of open communication between the Sky and the Earth within our total being -- not for the sake of finding the ever-elusive 'pot of gold' at the end of the rainbow, but in order to face the totality of our individual selfhood as it is projected in the many-hued dome of our sky-flung consciousness. After every successfully-met crisis, the Revelation of Worth comes to us."

    IT APPEARS that there is great potential in the second half of August. We see the possibility of a new beginning, and that the planetary alignments will support us in having the courage and insight needed to begin to manifest the new life we have envisioned.

    With the next Pluto-Uranus square coming up in mid-September, we realize that the themes of clearing, renovation and change will continue -- but it's good to know we also have rainbows we can count on.'


    http://www.iraresoul.com/sex_essays.html#4

    'Being in Love is a Disturbed Ideal [by Daniel Mackler]

    Although society and most people – and of course popular music – hold being “in love” as the ideal state of human existence, they are all deluding themselves, literally. Being in love is little more than the state of transferring onto some new person – your “love object” – all your repressed childhood hopes that your parents will finally come to rescue you. This hope, which is the root of all addictions, is so intense that if you actually believe that it can be fulfilled it sends you into the deepest emotional orbit, more intense even than heroin. No wonder most people desperately strive for it.

    You might ask, though, what about the eighty year old married couples who are still “in love” after fifty-five years of marriage? My reply: What about mild addicts – functional alcoholics, let’s say – who manage to stay pickled on their four daily martinis up through ninety years old – and even credit their booze with keeping them alive for so long? (And they’re probably right – the booze probably did prolong their “life,” if you could call that a life.)

    My second reply: Do those couples really love each other so much, or are they more just attracted to a fantasy of whom their partners are? From what I’ve observed, when you scratch below the surface of such couples you find that they really DON’T know each other that well, and are just interacting – and being “in love” – with a fraction of their personalities. And they want it that way! If they knew each other too well it would shatter their illusion. No surprise that as the increase in expectation of marriage partners being “best friends” – that is, more emotionally intimate – has gone hand-in-hand with the skyrocketing of the divorce rate.

    As I close, let me differentiate between being “in love” and actually loving someone. In many ways the two are polar opposites, even if sometimes people who are “in love” can behave lovingly toward one another. Allow me to make a list:

    1) Being in love is projecting that someone will rescue you; loving someone is nurturing and caring for the best in them

    2) Being in love comes from the false self, that still damaged side of us, and wants a false image of another to rescue us; loving someone comes from the true self, and nurtures the true self of another

    3) Being in love is generally full of disrespect, both of one’s own and another’s self. It doesn’t honor the true boundaries of another’s truth. The extreme of this happens when really troubled people fall in love with complete strangers and go so far as to believe these strangers have returned this “love.” Loving someone, on the other hand, is inherently respectful. It respects the boundaries of who they really are.

    4) Really loving someone truly grows over time. Being in love gets weaker over time – and when it grows it tends to be a sign that the “in love” person has a penchant for more extreme forms of delusion.

    5) Being in love brings only a limited sense of fulfillment, and often leaves people feeling crushed and rejected. Really loving someone brings deep fulfillment – to both involved.

    6) Being in love gets all mixed up with romance (and often sex). Loving someone deflates romance – and opens the door to something so much more rewarding.'

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    http://innerself.com/content/self-he...younghans.html

    Pam Younghans: 'AS I PONDER the list of planetary aspects for the coming week, a quote from Shakespeare comes to mind: "Now is the winter of our discontent." Whether we are in the final weeks of summer in the Northern Hemisphere, or the last month of winter in the Southern Hemisphere, this quote is appropriate in its description of how we may be feeling as we begin the month of September.'

    "ALTHOUGH most of us may be familiar with those first seven words of the opening scene of Shakespeare's Richard III, we may not realize that the longer passage is one of hope, not of despair. Here are a few more of the opening lines from the play:


    Now is the winter of our discontent
    Made glorious summer by this sun of York;
    And all the clouds that lour'd upon our house
    In the deep bosom of the ocean buried.
    Now are our brows bound with victorious wreaths;
    Our bruised arms hung up for monuments;
    Our stern alarums changed to merry meetings,
    Our dreadful marches to delightful measures.
    "

    "THE PUSH from Pluto and Uranus is building now, as we are just a short two weeks away from their second square (exact on September 18). These powerful planets are pushing us into the future, acting as catalysts for the changes that we need to make, both internally and externally, if we are to build lives that are more enlivening, empowering, on purpose and satisfying.

    En route, we are uprooting and overcoming the vestiges of old patterns that have kept us disempowered (Pluto in Capricorn). We are also growing more restless with any restrictions and any fears that seem to keep us from creating the fulfilling lives we instinctively know are possible (Uranus in Aries)."

    'ALSO OF INTEREST is that the asteroid Pallas Athene steps into alignment with Uranus this week. This makes Pallas, our goddess of wisdom and war, the banner-carrier for the influence of the Pluto-Uranus square.

    Pallas will conjoin Uranus in Aries on Tuesday, inspiring and encouraging us to act on the directives from our higher wisdom. Our revolutionary spirit is enhanced, and we are less constrained by fear of what may lie ahead. Our humanitarian tendencies are also engaged, and we care deeply about the condition of all who share our planet.

    Author Anne Frank personified this energy, with Pallas conjunct Uranus in Aries in her birth chart, and both planets conjunct her Midheaven. Her courageous and optimistic diary, written at a very dark time in our history, continues to inspire us today through quotes like these:

    "Despite everything, I believe that people are really good at heart."

    "The best remedy for those who are afraid, lonely or unhappy is to go outside, somewhere where they can be quiet, alone with the heavens, nature and God. Because only then does one feel that all is as it should be."

    FRESHLY ENERGIZED by Uranus, Pallas then confronts Pluto on Friday. This is when our higher wisdom is both challenged and needed, for Pluto may show us where internal (unconscious) and external blocks to our ideal world still remain.

    Astrologer Demetra George, author of the book Asteroid Goddesses, writes that the solution to this type of challenge:

    "...lies in releasing the negative aspects of our mental expression and replacing them with faith, hope, and optimism. As an ancient spiritual proverb puts it, 'Be ye transformed through the renewing of your mind.'"

    It is synchronistic that this was exactly how Anne Frank was able to thrive creatively under dire physical and emotional circumstances. She is our shining example of the power of the human spirit to create a positive from a negative -- through her ability to see the good in people, yes, but even more through her knowing that the answer to her challenges -- many of which were outside of her ability to control -- was to find peace and inspiration within her own being, enhanced by her connection with Nature and with Source.'
    Last edited by HERO; 04-21-2013 at 11:01 AM.

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    http://innerself.com/content/self-he...younghans.html



    http://spaceweather.com/submissions/...1346734483.jpg

    - Pam Younghans: "IN BRIEF, the yod is showing us where old relationship patterns no longer work. Pluto in Capricorn wants Venus in Leo to be willing to commit to a new level of honesty and intimacy, and make adjustments to relationships that have become superficial or based only on satisfying the needs of ego. Chiron in Pisces reminds Venus that lasting relationships require both an understanding of other and compassion for self -- a willingness to let go of issues that don't really matter, while also knowing when we take that too far and drift into self-sacrifice or victimhood.

    Enter Uranus in Aries -- the champion of change, with the courage to blaze new trails. Through a trine to Venus, Uranus provides the inspiration and insights that will help us to be flexible, to make the changes that are needed, and also to let go of relationships that are irretrievably wounding or disempowering."

    'THE DIRECTIVE to remain as pure as possible in our thoughts and words is repeated in the Sabian symbol for the 24th degree of Virgo, the location of the New Moon:

    "Mary and her little lamb: The need to keep a vibrant and pure simplicity at the core of one's being as one meets the many tests of existence."

    The interpretation of this symbol helps clarify further:

    "Although great, spectacular and resolute efforts are needed in order to achieve one's higher goals of destiny, still the essential quality as one journeys on 'the Path' is a pure, spontaneous, fresh and nonviolent approach to all encounters. Without such a deep, heartfelt simplicity, the seeker after spiritual experience or Initiation is bound to be glamorized by successes and to see the ego feeding on the drama of struggle and victory." (from An Astrological Mandala by Dane Rudhyar)'


    http://www.iraresoul.com/parent_essays.html#1

    "Family: The Prototypical Cult

    Cults are manifestations of the worst of the family system. They adhere to the same underlying dynamics of families but replace familial depression with an alluring, grandiose face, which is why so many underdeveloped souls seeking love swim in and get ensnared in their tentacles. And uncomfortable as it is to get swallowed by the beast, it’s an old and familiar tale – an adult recreation of the child’s dilemma of needing to fit into his family at all costs in order to survive.

    In the family, parents are the cult leaders. To the child their word is law, their perceptions reality, and their definition of truth, however twisted, absolute. Parents have a power relatively greater than any the child will ever come to meet in the rest of his life. Their behavior sketches his basic template of God, and he bows before it with the passion of the devoted. And if he doesn’t bow, he gets forced to bow, and learns to accept his bondage as normal. To satisfy his needs he must bend the zeal of his personality to their limitations – that or face their rejection, which causes him a fear so basic and crippling and annihilating he cannot dare risk it. He is at their mercy, and ultimately the mercy of their maturity. If they are relatively mature he is fortunate; if not he is in serious trouble. Either way, beyond the borders of their maturity he is trapped, and they, like Jim Jones, can put whatever they want in his Kool-Aid.

    He is theirs to manipulate, and they must to the degree that their unconscious needs demand. He is born lacking a respect for their buried trauma and their desperation to heal it, and every time his honest expression of life force unknowingly triggers it he threatens them terribly. In protection of their false selves they make it their mission to break his spirit of its desire to roam free. They train him on where he is forbidden to go and they use methods employing a degree of force tailored to the extent of their denial and the extent of his passion for remaining true to his instincts. The most emotionally damaged parents manipulate and traumatize him the most, often completely brainwashing him into an emotional numbness that paves the way for extreme future exploitation.

    Unlike organized cults that have to instill some degree of psychological dependence in their followers through cruel and clever tactics, parents have it far easier, because their children are born psychologically dependent. They’re more malleable than the most needy and troubled of adults. Jim Jones, whose charisma and savvy won him heavy support from major California politicians – quite a feat! – at least had to be brilliant, persuasive, and creative to lead his followers astray. Any old fool can become a parent and manipulate his kid to kingdom come. The kid may rebel later on, but for a few good years he’s hooked through the gills.

    As the saying goes, power corrupts. Everyone not fully enlightened (myself included) is bound to act out some degree of cult leader dynamics with those over whom he wields power. This becomes especially dangerous in relationships where a greater dependency is inherent. This goes for many therapists, who cull bevies of blind devotees who progressively lose their autonomy, as well as for teachers, religious leaders, partners, bosses, 12-step sponsors, writers, and even friends. The not-fully-reflective simply cannot resist the temptation to act out when offered the chance.

    But the reflective have no choice but to resist. As their inner light leads them out of the maze of their traumas they access a long-buried spiritual kernel for a new interactive blueprint, one in which manipulating others disgusts their ethical sense. That kernel holds the essence of their honest self, a complete genetic code for a new species and new world. As they make headway toward autonomy they find themselves increasingly vaccinated against falling prey to cult leaders, because the only leader they need is the one living in their own breast. Emotional autonomy is the basic consequence of individuation from the family. Once that cult is rejected, all others are sure to follow."
    Last edited by HERO; 04-21-2013 at 12:36 PM.

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    http://www.robertchristgau.com/get_a...hp?name=Pixies

    'Bossanova [4AD/Elektra, 1990]
    Though the words are less willful, they're still mostly indecipherable without the crib sheet and still mostly incomprehensible with it--leisure-class kiddies grasping at straws (or women: Black Francis has gone through three girlfriends by cut five) as the solar system bangs and whimpers to a halt. But these collegians are obscurantists no longer. Announcing their newfound religious faith with a surf-metal instrumental ("Cecilia Ann," who's not a girlfriend though Francis loves her best of all), they march out tunes so simple and confident and power riffs so grandly declamatory that you learn to understand the choruses by singing them. The beats are lively. The three-minute songs don't bash you over the head with their punk/pop brevity. Neither do the two-minute songs. If they weren't still a little gothic-surrealist they might even be too easy--but they ain't. A'

    Eb Major (Leo)






    G# minor (Leo)

    http://www.robertchristgau.com/get_a...hp?name=The+xx

    "The xx [XL/Young Turks, 2009]
    Their minimalism is so contained that as you warm against your better judgement to the well-spaced notes, subtle depth charges, and ostinato hooks with which they couch their gentle cool, you figure that the matched female-and-male drawls the music sets off will prove unworthy of further commitment. But soon you learn that these two Southwest London 20-year-olds--to leave out their ancillary and now departed guitarist and crucial but probably not generative young producer-drummer--aren't being minimal to prove they're any shade of cool. It's more like they're being minimal because they're shy. Rather than resorting to an obscurantism they're too decent for or feigning a sophistication few achieve, they trade ideas about intimacy as contemporaries, comrades, prospects, lovers, ex-lovers, and friends. It's hard to imagine their music getting much better. But it's not hard to imagine their lives getting much better. Which may be all their music needs. A"

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    http://innerself.com/content/self-he...ious-week.html

    'THE FOUR PLANETS -- the Moon, the Sun, Mars and Venus -- are also aligned with the dwarf planet Eris, the farthest-known planet in our solar system. I've read some about this planet since its discovery in 2005, but have not explored its meaning in depth. It moves so very slowly (taking 560 years to move through all 12 zodiac signs) that it seems to be more descriptive of an era than of an individual or even of a generation.

    Still, given the focus on Eris in this New Moon chart, it will be helpful to understand a bit more about its meaning.

    ERIS has been in the sign of Aries since February 1926. This means that everyone currently living and younger than 87 years old has Eris in Aries in their birth charts.

    In Greek mythology, Eris was the goddess of strife, discord, contention and rivalry. This gives us a sense that her impact astrologically can be a bit pushy, to say the least, especially in her current location in Aries.

    I FEEL it's important to look beyond the obvious manifestations we might associate with the goddess of discord. It may be true that this week we will see some aggressions amplified -- but what does it mean for us individually, and how can we best work with this energy?

    Astrologer Lynn Koiner has been tracking Eris in her own life and in the lives of clients for a while now. Here's a bit of what she says about the effects of the planet:
    "Eris acts as a benefic if you are willing to grow and learn and integrate the lessons acquired. These new experiences become integrated into our consciousness and we are no longer the same -- some component of our personality becomes morphed over a period of time.'

    http://innerself.com/content/self-he...younghans.html

    'The Sun-Mars alignment can also manifest as irritations, impatience, recklessness and selfishness.

    The good news is that there's plenty of energy to utilize in productive ways -- it's up to each of us to find the best outlet, and to make sure we're not stepping on anyone else's toes as we're rushing out the door. The compassion represented by the Venus-Neptune sextile (exact on Thursday) should be helpful in that regard.

    I ALSO LIKE the Sabian symbol for the 29th degree of Aries, where the Sun and Mars are located at the time of their conjunction:
    "The music of the spheres: Attunement to the cosmic order."
    It is nice to consider that the projects we begin as the Sun and Mars align are not only highly energized, but also in tune with the cosmos. Here's a bit more about that symbol, from astrologer Dane Rudhyar's book "An Astrological Mandala":
    "The individual who has entered into a new realm of possibilities should learn the harmonic principles operating in this realm. The music of the spheres is the celestial embodiment of principles of polyphonic interplay. Seek to understand and realize your place in the vast scheme of human evolution, in the immense Chord of the harmony of the universe. The message is to listen to your inner voice, to listen without personalizing this Voice in a glamor-producing manner."
    No doubt if we keep this last line in mind -- "to listen without personalizing in a glamor-producing manner" -- we will be more able to sidestep some of the more selfishly-oriented possibilities of this alignment.

    NEXT WEEKEND is the time for insights, changes of mind, accessing higher consciousness, and thinking "outside of the box," even if (or especially if) those ideas go against traditional or widely-held opinions and beliefs.

    Uranus aligns with Mercury on Saturday, representing a strong collaboration between conscious mind and Higher Mind. Keep your pen and paper handy to jot down any "aha" moments. With Uranus, insights and solutions may appear suddenly, but then disappear just as quickly if not anchored in some way.

    On Sunday, when Mercury moves on to square Pluto, we may become aware that our new ideas are already pushing buttons and setting up some resistance for us to deal with. This is not meant to discourage us -- instead, it is to help empower us, as we more fully understand our own attitudes and beliefs, and how they are reflected in the world around us.'

    G# minor (Leo)



    " . . . I'd cry a river of tears for them/The bodies floating there/Christ-like and bare/Tell me, is that fair? / And there are some things I can't forgive . . ."




    A minor (Sagittarius)

    - For the victims/casualties [of terrorism, holocaust(s), wars, etc.]: " . . . We're the somebodies/Sacrificed by nobodies / (We're dead/You'll never get too far) . . ."

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    WE'RE ALL GOING HOME HERO's Avatar
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    Live Through This [DGC, 1994]
    Punk aesthetic or no punk aesthetic, Courtney Love's songs wouldn't be compromised and might be deepened by steeper momentum and more articulate guitar noise. But they prevail anyway. Their focus is sexual exploitation, and not just by the media, evil straights, and male predators of every cultural orientation. She's also exploited by Courtney Love, and not only does she know it, she thinks about it. These are the confessions of a self-made feminist bimbo--of the girl who wanted the most cake. Just because she's a phony, whatever that means, doesn't mean the world isn't out to deny her her props. A




    Last edited by HERO; 05-10-2013 at 09:35 PM.

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    What do you do with your spare time agape, when you're not working as a 16types poster?

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    WE'RE ALL GOING HOME HERO's Avatar
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    Well let's see... I do need to start spending more time on looking for a job... just applying for 5 jobs isn't going to cut it. My Mom's going to help me figure out how to use the Internet to look for work more... and then there's going to college or University to get the info on how I'm going to finish all the other high school courses I need to complete, and since I've already completed English 30-1 in 2012 with about 94%, that just leaves Math 10, 20, 30... I guess.

    Besides what I have to start working on, there's watching TV (The Good Wife, Revenge, The Mentalist, etc.); rocking (swaying side to side) to music while lying down, reading, composing music; trying do to paradoxical relaxation [I find it really difficult to clear my mind, relax, focus on the tension, etc.]; going to the public library, etc. And if people think I'm having sex, the last time I had sex with anyone was December, 2011. I usually don't masturbate more than once a month, oftentimes less. I've gone at least two months without masturbation in the past...

    Now for an interesting anecdote... It was early 2012, at my English 20-1 class in college [they call it academic upgrading although I never did complete English 20-1 or English 30-1 before 2012]. So somehow the subject of Barack Obama was brought up... (because of a discussion on history, American presidents?)... Anyway, an African man in his 40's? (he was originally from some country in Africa I think [I don't remember exactly], was black, had an accent) said something like Obama is very dangerous or Obama is one of the most dangerous people in the world, or something to that effect. At least two white Canadians defended Obama [the ILE teacher and the SLE-Ti masculine-identified and straight-identified guy]...

    It turns out that the African man was probably the smartest person I knew at that school. I did talk to him a few times... As it turns out, he definitely knew what he was talking about. And I was clueless. [I never actually learned the truth until recently.] Of course, Obama isn't worse than George W. Bush, yet he's only somewhat better. I guess Lloyd deMause's characterization of Obama in the past as the 'least war-like President since Eisenhower' was premature. And while George W. Bush has/had charisma and charm and comical qualities, Obama is boring... Or John McCain is superficially convincing, Obama can be superficially deceptive. None of them are really bad people. They have their ideals and their truths, but at the same time there's a lot of denial, projection, repression, dissociation, etc.

    My Aunt once said that she despises Barack Obama and that he's another face of evil. Yet later on she also wrote this:

    "To me president Obama seems another one in a long line of puppets manipulated by the dragons of capitalism: the weapons manufacturers, oil tycoons, pharmaceutical giants, junk food ogres, etc etc
    The only difference is that he is black.

    Here in Europe we hardly ever turn our attention to America, we have our own politicians who fill the stage and problems galore."


    http://innerself.com/content/self-he...younghans.html

    'Horoscope: May 6 to 12, 2013


    Thursday: Venus enters Gemini, Mercury conjunct South Node, Solar Eclipse/New Moon 5:28pm PDT
    Friday: Sun conjunct Pallas Athene
    Saturday: Mercury conjunct Pallas Athene, Sun conjunct Mercury
    Sunday: Mars conjunct South Node

    WE HAVE the second of our three eclipses this week -- a Solar Eclipse/New Moon on Thursday at 5:28pm PDT. This is an annular eclipse, which means a small rim of the Sun will be seen around the perimeter of the Moon's shadow. The eclipse will be visible in parts of Australia and from nearby islands.

    This is an important eclipse for our evolutionary growth. It carries strong energies for releasing the past and making a new start. This theme is emphasized by the proximity of several planets to the South Node -- at the time of the eclipse, Mars, Mercury, the Moon, the Sun, and Pallas Athene are all within three degrees of that karmic point.

    If you review the "highlighted aspects" list for the week, you'll see the actual alignments scattered over several days -- the Sun conjoins the South Node on Monday, Mercury steps in on Thursday, and Mars finishes up the week with its alignment on Sunday. This means we can count on the push to release old patterns and counter-productive attitudes to be strong throughout the week.

    THE NORTH AND SOUTH NODES are not planetary beings -- they are energetic points in space defined by where the Moon's orbit around the Earth intersects with the Earth's path around the Sun. Astrologer Jan Spiller has written a marvelous book about the nodes and their meanings, called Astrology for the Soul. Here's what she writes about the meaning of the South Node:

    "The South Node depicts an aspect in our character that has been overemphasized in past lives, and thus tends to take over the personality in this lifetime and throw us off balance. When we are acting without awareness, we tend to 'act out' the South Node in response to our environment because we have been accustomed to that approach working to our advantage. However, in this lifetime, our experiences show us that approaching a situation from the stance of the South Node is no longer working."

    ALTHOUGH EACH OF US may have the nodes in any of the 12 signs of the zodiac in our natal charts, the current sign location of the nodes indicates where, collectively, we all are being asked to evolve out of old patterns and attitudes. Right now, the North Node is in Scorpio and the South Node is in Taurus. We need to look at that Taurus South Node in more depth to understand a bit more about what's being asked of us with this week's eclipse.

    Again quoting from Ms. Spiller's book, here is her list of "tendencies to leave behind" when the South Node is in Taurus:

    Attachment to comfort and the status quo
    Possessiveness
    Overconcern with accumulation and ownership
    Questioning past decisions
    Stubbornness
    Getting bogged down in sensual appetites
    Repeatedly doing things one way (the hard way) even though another way is easier
    Resistance to change and others' input

    And, here is her list of "attributes to develop":

    Self-discipline
    Choosing constructive change
    Releasing whatever causes stagnation and low energy
    Eliminating nonuseful possessions
    Enjoying things without having to own them
    Accepting support from others (ideas, money, opportunities)
    Enjoying high-risk situations that make one feel alive
    Awareness of others' psychology (their desires, wants, needs, motives)
    Openness to partnering, supporting, and merging power with others

    It will be very helpful this week to observe our own tendencies in these areas. We can work with the energies of this eclipse by being willing to let go of where we hold on to the old ways, either out of fear of change or just out of sheer habit.

    AS WE RELEASE the old ways, we are more able to take advantage of the fact that a Solar Eclipse is like a mega New Moon, providing the opportunity to take powerful steps in new directions.

    This eclipse occurs in the same location as a Solar Eclipse 19 years ago, on May 10, 1994. We may gain important insights from remembering what new beginnings and changes we embraced during the first half of that year. We are now completing the cycle that began at that time, and are about to start a new 19-year cycle. The area of life where we are completing and initiating is defined at least in part by the house location of 20 degrees of Taurus in our natal charts.

    THE SABIAN SYMBOL for the eclipse location gives us hope in the positive future we are creating:

    "Wisps of winglike clouds streaming across the sky: The awareness of spiritual forces at work."

    In my experience, it is helpful whenever we can be aware of spiritual forces at work! That awareness is both calming and invigorating, in the very best of ways.

    Here's what astrologer Dane Rudhyar writes about the meaning of this symbol in his book An Astrological Mandala:

    "Any emergence of life potentialities from the depth of the vast Unconscious is answered by the spiritual activity of superconscious forces in a cosmic kind of antiphony. The individual who has taken a new step in evolution should look for the "Signature" of divine Powers confirming that progress. It may reveal the meaning of what is to come next. The 'winglike clouds' may also symbolize the presence of celestial beings, blessing and subtly revealing the direction to take, the direction of 'the wind' of destiny."

    This symbol encourages us to be especially aware of the signs and synchronicities in our everyday environment this week -- the random events, the appearance of animals and other natural phenomena, the sudden awareness of a shift in our perspective -- as direct guidance or offering insights into our best path going forward.

    WE CAN ALSO EXPECT, with the South Node strongly energized this week, to run into people or situations from our past. These can be from our past within this life, or from the longer ago "past" of other lifetimes.

    If we do meet up with our past in some respect, we can be fairly confident that it ties into the completion of the current cycle -- and may offer additional insights about where we have been resisting change and are now ready to make a breakthrough.'


    http://www.psychohistory.com/origins...hildAbuse.html

    http://www.democracynow.org/2013/4/2...ng_yemeni_says

    http://www.democracynow.org/2013/4/2...t_story_behind




    "There is no way out, the only way out is to give in/When there's was no way out, the only way out is to give in . . . How I love to give in/Here no one sleeps, one lays up while the other lies down/Where no one sleeps, one lays up while the other lies down/Ask the line on your face what the line on your hand meant/We couldn't see what was coming . . . I'm so glad that I'm an island now . . . Sickness was fixing me some/Coughed out my heart in the last stall/Now that the damage is done/I never miss it at all"



    "Monster hospital, can you please release me?/You hold my hands down, I've been bad/You hold my arms down, I've been bad/I've been bad, I've been bad/I fought the cold . . . but the war won . . . I fought the war, but the cold won't stop for the love of God . . . I fought the war, but the war won . . . I fought the war, but the war won't stop for the love of God . . . I fought the cold, but the war won"






    http://www.psychohistory.com/htm/eln03_terrorism.html

    http://www.psychohistory.com/htm/eln05_psychogenic.html

    'Upheaval Phase

    The leader begins the upheaval phase pictured as a wimp, overwhelmed by poisonous forces, impotent to ward off disaster, which is often depicted as a dangerous water-beast (poisonous placenta) along with images of floods, whirlpools and devouring mouths--media imagery similar to medieval depictions of Hell as a Devouring Demon. Anti-children crusades multiply, attacking people's projected inner child for being spoiled, sinful, greedy and out of control. When the growth panic is at a peak, "poison alerts" are declared and fears of maternal abandonment and wishes for maternal engulfment and rebirth proliferate . . . Rational national progress seems to be unimportant, group-delusions and group-trance projects are at a peak, and action becomes irresistible as the nation searches for some magical restoration of potency . . .

    (1) Regicidal Solution: If the leader fails to find an appropriate enemy, he himself can be designated as the enemy of the nation, and a ritual slaying is enacted, either by actual regicide or by throwing him out of office. Should he be re-elected at the end of his first term, a symbolic death and rebirth ritual is enacted, and the leader has more time to find a solution to the growth panic.

    (2) Martial Solution--If an external enemy can be found who will co-operate by humiliating the nation as they felt humiliated by their parents during childhood, this enemy can now be seen as the source of all their fears, and military action can be taken by the now-heroic leader in order to clear out the pollution and produce a rebirth of national strength and purpose. Wars are often preceded by apocalyptic growth panic movements, "Great Awakenings" and other end-of-the-world group-fantasies. [Charles B. Strozier, Apocalypse: On the Psychology of Fundamentalism in America. Boston: Beacon Press, 1994.] The leader is split into two parts, and the "poison" part is projected into the "enemy" leader, who agrees to engage in a mutual humiliation ritual and then fight the cosmic battle between good and evil and "flush out" the nation's fears.

    The nation feels often enormous relief by the designation of the enemy, rather than being fearful of war's destructiveness. The finding of an external enemy as a poison container produces a burst of dopamine-filled euphoria. As Churchill wrote his wife in 1914, as England prepared for war, "Everything tends toward catastrophe and collapse. I am interested, geared up and happy." Similarly, on the day President Truman decided to send U.S. troops to Korea one American wrote from Washington, D.C. that "Never before...have I felt such a sense of relief and unity pass through this city...When the President's statement was read in the House, the entire chamber rose to cheer."

    (3) Internal Sacrifice Solution--If the leader cannot find an external enemy with whom to engage in a sacrificial war, he often turns to an internal sacrifice, either a violent revolution or an economic downturn. At the end of the 1920s, for instance, as economic and social progress seemed to have gotten "out of control," world bankers--chief sacrificial priests of modern nations--pursued deflationary economic policies, trade barriers were erected and many other "mistakes" were made that were motivated to produce the Great Depression that sacrificed so much of the wealth of the world. As Treasury Secretary Andrew Mellon said in 1929 as the Federal Reserve pushed the world into the Great Depression, "It will purge the rottenness out of the system." [William Greider, Secrets of the Temple: How the Federal Reserve Runs the Country. New York: Simon and Schuster, 1987, p. 300.]
    Business cycles, as William K. Joseph has shown, are driven by the manic and depressive cycles of group-fantasy,* as manic defenses against growth panic are followed by depressive collapses into emotional despair and inaction. Indeed, most death rates, car crashes, homicides, cancer, pneumonia, heart and liver diseases rise during prosperous, manic times and are lower during depressions and recessions. [Business Week, July 1, 1996, p. 22.] Only suicide (internal sacrifice) rises during economic declines, reacting to the prevailing group-fantasy need for internal sacrifice.

    * William K. Joseph, "Prediction, Psychology and Economics." The Journal of Psychohistory 15(1987): 101-112; William K. Joseph, "Will Peace Panic the Market?" The Journal of Psychohistory 16(1989): 405-409. See also Lloyd deMause, Reagan's America.


    Depressions and recessions are thus not due to "the Invisible Hand" of economics but are motivated sacrifices that often kill more people than wars do, halting dangerous prosperity and social progress that seem to be getting "out of control." That growing wealth often produces anxieties rather than happiness can be shown empirically. From 1957 to 1995, Americans doubled their income in real dollars, but the proportion of those telling pollsters that they are "very happy" declined from 35 to 29 percent. [David G. Myers and Ed Diener, "The Pursuit of Happiness." Scientific American, May 1996, p. 70.] Periodic economic downturns are the antidotes administered by sacrificial priests for the disease of "greed." Cartoons prior to economic downturns often portray greedy people being sacrificed on altars or children being pushed off cliffs, scapegoats for "greedy" childhood selves felt to be responsible for the trauma once experienced. Like Aztec human sacrifices,* recessions and depressions are accompanied by national sermons, "cautionary tales," about how sacrifices are necessary to purge the world of human sinfulness . . .'

    * Ptolemy Tompkins, This Tree Grows Out of Hell: Mesoamerica and the Search for the Magical Body. San Francisco: Harper San Francisco, 1990, p. 120.


    'Finally, with stage four, “Upheaval,” birth itself begins, and the nation looks for some crisis, usually involving war or the threat of war, to get into. The nation feels trapped, choking, claustrophobic, and must engage in a “struggle for freedom” in order to fight its way out of an intolerable situation. After a crisis situation is located, the enemy is engaged, and the nation feels strong again—and also greatly relieved, because at least it is now actively fighting something in the real world rather than passively suffering the fantasied intolerable pressures. (Political cartoons of the head hurting from painful pressures, and of the body being stretched and twisted, mark this stage.)’—Loyd deMause


    I believe America and perhaps at least one or two other countries that have less advanced child-rearing than the United States of America are currently in Fetal Stage Four ("Upheaval"), and may have been in this stage as early as 2011 (this applies specifically to USA; I haven't looked at the other countries). The last time America underwent Fetal Stage Four was from 2007-2008 (beginning of Global Financial Crisis). And before that it was around early 2003 (maybe it started in mid-2002?), which is what led up to the Iraq War.
    Last edited by HERO; 05-13-2013 at 12:06 AM.

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