The best compliment/worst criticism

[Marietta]

Hi,

I was wondering about receiving feedback on one's personality from others and how different types would perceive feedback on their flaws/strong sides. After all, the same nice thing told to 2 people could leave one person indifferent and the other would feel really appreciated.

What was the greatest compliment / the most painful critisicm you have received / could receive from others? Any ideas how this could be related to the functions in your case?

I wonder if the most painful thing to acknowledge was connected with PoLR or Hidden Agenda... or maybe Hidden Agenda would be related to both - positive and negative feedback that affects people most.

[yellow82]

Greatest compliment: From my pastor [LII]'s daughter: "Daddy says that I should grow up and be just like you."

Greatest criticism [also from an LII, that I had a crush on at the time. . . ]: "I just don't think that you are passionate about your faith."

Ouch.

Tbh, when he said that, I just wanted to put everything into my bags and leave and never come back. . . but I'm more mature then that. I was severely insulted though because the first thing I think about is my faith every time I am making a life decision.

But then he was like "well you just don't seem that joyous in the Lord." And I felt like saying "you mean like those fake Christians or the Christians that have never had anything bad happen to them, that always put on a stupid plastic smile when they leave the house and say that they are "so joyful in the Lord" and blah-blah-blah? Yeah. . . no thanks.

And excuse me if I was upset because my cousin and best friend for years committed suicide, my parents were getting a divorce, my father was abusive, my father tried to kill my mother, my father stopped giving us eight children and our mom alimony and left us bare, then later on he killed himself. I guess I just should be so joyful in the Lord through everything. . . . never need a shoulder to cry on, never feel like my world is being laid upside down. . . yeah, go get a life idiot.

[Trevor]

Creative function axis is where it's at. It is these functions that are the most affected by compliments/criticism.

[FDG]

I remember one ISTj maths teacher, at the end of middle school (13 yo) said "It's very unlikely that you will ever be able to finish high school". It was partially funny since I used to be his best student during the 1st and 2nd year of middle school, but I just got bored with his style once I got to the third. He was probably just trying to get a rise out of me to prove him wrong or something, but I still conserve a burning hatred towards the guy.

Best compliment dunno, I have a bit of a big ego so I enjoy compliments but I don't excessively need them. I like when I get complimented on my sports performance, I guess.

[Pa3s]

A teacher (maybe ESI) told me once that I'd have social beliefs and ideals which were similar those of the people of her generation in their youth (late 60s/70s). I was about 16 back then. It was meant as a compliment and I also understood it in that way. That's something I don't hear everyday, so I thought it's rather special. I don't know about criticism, sometimes people assume things about me which simply aren't true and mere prejudices or misconceptions. That's why I rarely feel upset or offended about those things. Well, sometimes there was some truth in it, but there wasn't much criticism which really affect me. I don't know if that's related to my type or functions.

[PistolShrimp]

The worst criticism I received was from my photojournalism professor in college. He projected everyone's work on the board in front of the entire class, and went through the photos one by one giving his comments. When he reached my portfolio, each picture met with a "no" or an "ok," nothing good or constructive said. I left nearly in tears from having years' worth of my work spat upon. Later, my classmates told me they thought he'd been too harsh on me. Got over it quickly, but I never did become a photojournalist anyway...

The best compliments I've received have been about my photography, writing or public speaking from people I respect and admire. I am pretty sensitive to compliments/criticism regarding my artwork in general.

[DirectorAbbie]

To be a good compliment, it must be true. To be bad criticism, it must be false.

[Creepy-Snaps]

"The greatest compliment that was ever paid me was when one asked what I thought, and attended to my answer." - Henry David Thoreau

... I believe it's not so much what others say, but the way you make others feel. Showing them that they are important, and paying attention to what they say, truly listening, actively listening, will make someone feel special more than any 'saying' or 'line' ever can.

[ashlesha]

good compliment: something i wouldnt have expected the person to have noticed. its nice to be caught off guard that way.

bad criticism: something i think the person is just wrong about. its frustrating when i can't acknowledge or deal with it except to note that the person is wrong lol.

i can't think of any specific examples.

[Marietta]

thanks for your stories

Creative function axis is where it's at. It is these functions that are the most affected by compliments/criticism.

That's interesting, why do you think so? it's still a strong function after all.

[EyeSeeCold]

The best compliment you could give me would be towards an area where I have some proficiency and interest, but not much motivation in. The compliment would be a source of motivation to pursue that area, and motivation is the best thing you could offer me.