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Thread: ENTps : trauma coping strategies

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    Default ENTps : trauma coping strategies

    When an ENTp is under emotional stress does he harden himself? and then, unharden?

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    Default Re: ENTps : trauma coping strategies

    Quote Originally Posted by Ms. Kensington
    When an ENTp is under emotional stress does he harden himself? and then, unharden?
    She totally takes it on the chin, coils up in a fetal position in bed, then gets out of bed and starts goading and harrassing the provocateur.

    She then starts making fun of him and staging embarrassing set-ups at his expense.

    PM me for my diabolical revenge strategies lol.
    Entp
    ILE

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    you're a doll blaze

    but do you come hostile to help from friends?

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    naah. I can use all the help I can get, so I take help and give help.

    Don't mind me, I'm just ranting about my dick-wad of a husband, er soon to be ex husband.
    Entp
    ILE

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    Quote Originally Posted by Blaze
    naah. I can use all the help I can get, so I take help and give help.

    Don't mind me, I'm just ranting about my dick-wad of a husband, er soon to be ex husband.
    Ilove ranting about ex-es, want to comisserate?

    All the women have maltreated me for some reason, I think I let them or something.
    Well I am back. How's everyone? Don't have as much time now, but glad to see some of the old gang are still here.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Dioklecian
    Quote Originally Posted by Blaze
    naah. I can use all the help I can get, so I take help and give help.

    Don't mind me, I'm just ranting about my dick-wad of a husband, er soon to be ex husband.
    Ilove ranting about ex-es, want to comisserate?

    All the women have maltreated me for some reason, I think I let them or something.
    Well, maybe. Although he's scum, I'm not guiltless either.

    I did my part. I made my list of things I shoulda coulda done better. I try to take responsibility for what's mine.

    Dude did me wrong though.

    I give myself a year to get over major stuff; it's been 6 months so far; I sure as hell don't want to be complaining still after the next 6 months.
    Entp
    ILE

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    I'm curious, what type was your soon-to-be ex husband?

    Quote Originally Posted by Blaze
    Quote Originally Posted by Dioklecian
    Quote Originally Posted by Blaze
    naah. I can use all the help I can get, so I take help and give help.

    Don't mind me, I'm just ranting about my dick-wad of a husband, er soon to be ex husband.
    Ilove ranting about ex-es, want to comisserate?

    All the women have maltreated me for some reason, I think I let them or something.
    Well, maybe. Although he's scum, I'm not guiltless either.

    I did my part. I made my list of things I shoulda coulda done better. I try to take responsibility for what's mine.

    Dude did me wrong though.

    I give myself a year to get over major stuff; it's been 6 months so far; I sure as hell don't want to be complaining still after the next 6 months.
    Hi! I'm an ENFP. :-)

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    @jewels: estp.
    Entp
    ILE

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    Quote Originally Posted by Blaze
    @jewels: estp.
    Blaze, that's interesting it was an ESTp. The ENTp I knew got along really well with ESTps. But I guess you just never know how things are going to play out. I'm sorry you're going through that, that really sucks. Hopefully you will heal faster than you're expecting.
    Hi! I'm an ENFP. :-)

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    Quote Originally Posted by jewels
    Quote Originally Posted by Blaze
    @jewels: estp.
    Blaze, that's interesting it was an ESTp. The ENTp I knew got along really well with ESTps. But I guess you just never know how things are going to play out. I'm sorry you're going through that, that really sucks. Hopefully you will heal faster than you're expecting.
    We actually got along quite well for a long time. There are many reasons for our split that I've started to figure out. One of them, related to socionics is that lookalikes don't make good intimate partners.

    Thanks for the support it does really suck but it tends to be sort of up and down. Half of yesterday and the day before sucked, the second half of yesterday and today were just fine. Probably something tomorrow will throw it off again. Then there's court later this week.

    I've always liked estps in general but this experience has made me gun shy.
    Entp
    ILE

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    Blaze,
    Yeah that sounds really hard. I guess there is more to it than the type stuff. At least, I think that's what I found w/ the ENTp I know. For example, I really don't think all ENTps are selfish and inconsiderate. I mean, I really think a lot of ENTps would care if someone told them their feelings were hurt and would try to fix the situation. But some people I think, whether it's how their raised or something else, just don't give to others and just take. Oh well! Anyway, I'm sure you'll grow stronger from the experience, though it does suck a LOT I'm sure.


    Quote Originally Posted by Blaze
    Quote Originally Posted by jewels
    Quote Originally Posted by Blaze
    @jewels: estp.
    Blaze, that's interesting it was an ESTp. The ENTp I knew got along really well with ESTps. But I guess you just never know how things are going to play out. I'm sorry you're going through that, that really sucks. Hopefully you will heal faster than you're expecting.
    We actually got along quite well for a long time. There are many reasons for our split that I've started to figure out. One of them, related to socionics is that lookalikes don't make good intimate partners.

    Thanks for the support it does really suck but it tends to be sort of up and down. Half of yesterday and the day before sucked, the second half of yesterday and today were just fine. Probably something tomorrow will throw it off again. Then there's court later this week.

    I've always liked estps in general but this experience has made me gun shy.
    Hi! I'm an ENFP. :-)

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    Blaze woman get out of my mind!!!

    Blaze actually described quite nicely how I handle a situation that requires me to get hard. You don't want to piss an ENTp off.

    I want to qualify first its very hard to completely turn an ENTp against you in this way. You have to do some pretty nasty stuff for them to decide...you are not really a human being therefore do not deserve to exist.

    When you think of it in terms of that, our revenge stategies are pretty tame considering what we really feel about the person. I have only gotten to this point maybe 2 or 3 times in my entire life.

    Leading up to the scenario, I have probably been putting up with stuff for quite some time. Trying to find ways to work on the relationship. I have usually spent the majority of the time trying to be the "Big Person" and calmly taking blows to another's irrational, selfish, and or disrespectful behavior.

    Then I finally reach my limit and blow at the person. Its not usually a huge blow out in other people's terms but in mine, it starts a process of emotional detachment.

    First comes that letting go of my emotional attachment to the person (curl up and bed and cry maybe for days even). Once my emotional detachment is gone, soon visions of possible revenge scenarios start coming to me. I am so angry at the level of time and effort this person wasted of mine, I want to make them pay.

    I won't act on most though but sometimes I'll threaten just so they know what I'm capable of and I'm not to be toyed with. That's when they realize that I'm no longer that sweet Pollyanna type and more like Q. I don't show fear because any fear I experienced with the person before was probably more related to losing them. They are gone, what's left to fear?

    I equate my emotional attachment to this person at this point as a scientist to a lab rat. I'm studying them and their behaviors for which of my observations can hurt them the most.

    What makes this situation worse if anyone even attempts to be dishonest with me or bully me in anyway. Instead of the intended affect it just adds fuel to my fire and may make me act on scenarios that would have been just left in my imagination had they treated me with respect.

    If you don't want an ENTp in your life, all you have to do is be COMPLETELY honest with them and treat them with respect and fairness. My emotions can be toyed with and if I've found out you've done it, watch out.

    In regards to ESTp and ENTp relations. I too get along very well with ESTps....on a more superficial level. I find them very fun. But I too have had bad experiences when I got closer to them that makes me see them in a bit of a bitter way I suppose. I felt more like a passing fancy who became a tool. I start questioning thier sincereity through other parts of the relationship.
    Polly
    ENTp

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    Quote Originally Posted by Polly
    If you don't want an ENTp in your life, all you have to do is be COMPLETELY honest with them and treat them with respect and fairness. My emotions can be toyed with and if I've found out you've done it, watch out.
    Typo?
    INFj

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    No not a typo.

    If you don't want me in your life, just be open and honest with me. Do not give me bogus reasons but the truth.

    If a guy cheated on me and told me that we were breaking up just because we he just felt we had grown apart, instead of he fell in love with another, he would evoke my wrath.

    Why? because I would still be emotionally connected to him and maybe even thinking of ways to improve the relationship. He's wasting more of my time not to mention screwing with my intuition.

    If the same guy came completely clean, apologized for his behavior and ackowledged how unfair it was to me but was honest, I would be horribly upset, but not vengeful.

    I would start moving on after I've had a few good cries and took some time to get my confidence back after the blow.
    Polly
    ENTp

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    Ah, got it. I read it as treating ENTps well in general would keep them away, hence my confusion.
    INFj

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    gotcha
    Polly
    ENTp

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    Well usually it seems a guy's honesty level is based on the objects you have near by. You got a fork in your hand, the statement is, "It isn't you, it's me."

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    *runs away from ENTPS*
    Sounds scary, Polly.

    A curious question, do ENTPs and INFJs make good mates? MBTI seems to think so and I'm curious why. It'd depend on perference of N, righty?

    Are ENTPs totally honest? Like always?
    INFP

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    I think you're thinking of the other alpha NT....


    BUt then again, I guess I don't know too many ENTps
    Pre-2013 post are written with incomplete understanding.

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    According to MBTI supervisors are the best matches, so it's ENTP and ESFP for INFJ.
    INFj

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    Oh, didn't see the MBTI there. (as in I saw it, but registered my answer via socionics)
    Pre-2013 post are written with incomplete understanding.

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    Hmm...I hope ENTps make it clear to other people how they want to be treated...otherwise that sounds like pretty scary stuff. I mean for example personally I'm not at all that good at understanding "how to treat people" unless they make it clear how they want to be treated. Polly you told about the roommate who pisses you off but you also said you are very bad at telling him that. So does this mean ENTps expect others to follow their ethics even if they don't publicly announce them? Something like "read my mind or receive my wrath!" thing

    Other thing..if someone is put on your black list can that person get out of that list somehow? Or is it "final" and the revenge will go on for the rest of your life? Or is the revenge more like you hurt that person as much as or more than he/she hurt you and then you move on and forget about him/her?

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    I absolutly hate it when people are not being honest with me! Dishonesty usually makes me want to call them out on it or become aggressive in some other way.

    In bad sitututions, I become shifty in my resources! Sometimes I am able to ignore the value loss and have some fun with the competition/opposition.
    "Far better it is to dare mighty things, to win glorious triumphs, even though checkered by failure, than to take rank with those poor spirits who neither enjoy much nor suffer much, because they live in the gray twilight that knows not victory nor defeat."
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    "Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover."
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    MBTI says INFJ and INTJ are my best matches.

    Its the way we relate on an intuitive level. I understand them better than most people and am able to value them a lot.

    My most intense relationship in my life was with an INFJ. My longest was with someone who was ISTJ or INTJ, not sure because he was so withdrawn.

    There was a bit of an emotional distance between myself and the I*TJ. I'm not sure if this was just a personality thing though, he was pretty umm well he lived in a bubble. But there was a very comfortable calmness in our environment and we had lots of fun together.

    The INFJ relationship always leaned to the more serious side. I loved him and looked up to him but just felt his standards put too much pressure on me.

    My idea of a perfect guy would be if you could combine an INFJ and INTJ and toss in a bit of ISFp talent and charisma.
    Polly
    ENTp

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    Quote Originally Posted by Polly
    MBTI says INFJ and INTJ are my best matches.
    J + P = hell
    Obsequium amicos, veritas odium parit

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    Quote Originally Posted by FDG
    Quote Originally Posted by Polly
    MBTI says INFJ and INTJ are my best matches.
    J + P = hell
    Not if they both know how to compromise.
    All Hail The Flying Spaghetti Monster

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    Quote Originally Posted by oyburger
    Quote Originally Posted by FDG
    Quote Originally Posted by Polly
    MBTI says INFJ and INTJ are my best matches.
    J + P = hell
    Not if they both know how to compromise.
    Yeah, of course it's "ime"
    Obsequium amicos, veritas odium parit

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    My most intense relationship in my life was with an INFJ. My longest was with someone who was ISTJ or INTJ, not sure because he was so withdrawn.

    The INFJ relationship always leaned to the more serious side. I loved him and looked up to him but just felt his standards put too much pressure on me.

    Anything in particular that INFJs do that really annoy ENTPs?
    The , right? Always the .
    INFP

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    You're really going all out on trying to find an ENTp, yeah?
    Pre-2013 post are written with incomplete understanding.

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    Quote Originally Posted by pesto
    According to MBTI supervisors are the best matches, so it's ENTP and ESFP for INFJ.

    Yeah, that makes me wonder a lot aboubt MBTI theory
    Pre-2013 post are written with incomplete understanding.

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    I think I found one. It's a matter of keeping it. Though I have this thing about putting a leash around them so perhaps I...shouldn't. I dislike being supervised. *scowls*
    INFP

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    Quote Originally Posted by UDP II
    Quote Originally Posted by pesto
    According to MBTI supervisors are the best matches, so it's ENTP and ESFP for INFJ.

    Yeah, that makes me wonder a lot aboubt MBTI theory
    Yeah, I don't understand that either. I can see the ENTP match, but even though I have ESFp friends there is no attraction. They do fascinate me and give me great advice and support, but nah. Too much fuss. Sounds like the supervision thing was just an assumption on my part though.
    INFj

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    Quote Originally Posted by dreamer
    I think I found one. It's a matter of keeping it. Though I have this thing about putting a leash around them so perhaps I...shouldn't. I dislike being supervised. *scowls*

    Could you explain that for me?
    I'm sort of interested in an INFj, and I wonder what that means.




    PS:
    Yeah, I don't understand that either. Shocked I can see the ENTP match, but even though I have ESFp friends there is no attraction. They do fascinate me and give me great advice and support, but nah. Too much fuss. Sounds like the supervision thing was just an assumption on my part though.
    ..... I just can't imagine an INFj emotionall with an ESFp. . I know INFjs who push themselves way too much as it is, and I could see ESFp INFj resulting in a breakdown for the NF.
    Pre-2013 post are written with incomplete understanding.

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    So what's your type UDP?

    Doesn't really mean anything. Could be just me.
    But here's some advice.

    INFJs need to know what's your interest in them. Be clear, be honest, do it once and it'll be enough unless things change. If you want to be friends, say it. Want to be more than friends, say it. Although keeping us guessing could be sorta fun but not for too long. We don't bite although we do criticize if we think something's not good for you but only because we care. We're uncomfortable with so try not to use that too much. We appericate intelligence and intelligent conversation although we like to be goofy too. Try to be different from everyone else although be yourself. Don't use cliches on us. Don't try to make us jealous, we get angry and make you jealous back which leads to an angry downward spiral. Spend time with us but not all the time so you give us alone time to think about you. And we can't read between the lines so don't try to hint it. It'll sail right past our heads. Much luck.

    Yea, I don't need someone supervising me. I supervise myself just fine. Don't need any more pressure. :wink:
    INFP

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    Anything in particular that INFJs do that really annoy ENTPs
    Hmm

    I like to joke around a lot and found him far more serious. Me to an INFj: Yes yes...the world is going to hell, can we please just go 4-wheeling and forget about it for awhile?

    He was always warning me about stuff I already knew about so that could be annoying. He liked to think he was passing on some valuable knowledge and I disliked hearing what I already knew and had taken it into consideration. (falls into that ENTP don't waste my time category).

    An argumentative INFj can be a real asshole. I loved my INFj but he would get in moods and be argumentative. Other people could see it plain as day. I found I always had to put a cap on my debating skills and let him win or he'd kind of shut down and storm off.

    I actually think an ENTP/INFJ or ENTP/INTJ make a very powerful match as a couple. They would be very difficult to take on as long as they could work together and as long as their ego can take me.

    When the ENTP is a female I think its a bit harder for guys. Some guys like to feel like the smarter one or leader in the relationship. An ENTP needs to share in those responsibilities and have her opinion respected. Its this fine line of respect me, listen to me, but don't expect me to tell you what to do because I want you to make your own decisions.
    Polly
    ENTp

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    Quote Originally Posted by dreamer
    So what's your type UDP?

    Doesn't really mean anything. Could be just me.
    But here's some advice.
    You mean, what kind of girl do I like?
    As for my type, I'm socionics INTj.

    INFJs need to know what's your interest in them. Be clear, be honest, do it once and it'll be enough unless things change. If you want to be friends, say it. Want to be more than friends, say it. Although keeping us guessing could be sorta fun but not for too long. We don't bite although we do criticize if we think something's not good for you but only because we care. We're uncomfortable with so try not to use that too much. We appericate intelligence and intelligent conversation although we like to be goofy too. Try to be different from everyone else although be yourself. Don't use cliches on us. Don't try to make us jealous, we get angry and make you jealous back which leads to an angry downward spiral. Spend time with us but not all the time so you give us alone time to think about you. And we can't read between the lines so don't try to hint it. It'll sail right past our heads. Much luck.

    Yea, I don't need someone supervising me. I supervise myself just fine. Don't need any more pressure. :wink:
    Hmm, sounds good to me - reminds me of why I like INFjs.
    I've no problem at all with the bolded part.
    Thanks.


    ======
    ======


    Me to an INFj: Yes yes...the world is going to hell, can we please just go 4-wheeling and forget about it for awhile?
    I like that INFjs are concerned enough to want to 'do something about it'.


    I actually think an ENTP/INFJ or ENTP/INTJ make a very powerful match as a couple. They would be very difficult to take on as long as they could work together and as long as their ego can take me.
    I could see that being so. I don't know about myself, though. I think I need an F type for my girl. Or at least an T with a well developed F side.
    Pre-2013 post are written with incomplete understanding.

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    I like that INFjs are concerned enough to want to 'do something about it'.
    Me too and they like me because I do stuff about things too like volunteer and am a human rights activist. However, I do take my activist hat off sometimes and like having carefree fun. To me its an important part of balance.

    I could see that being so. I don't know about myself, though. I think I need an F type for my girl. Or at least an T with a well developed F side.
    I think a lot of female Ts have well developed feeling sides. Society kind of forces us too.
    Polly
    ENTp

  38. #38
    Blaze's Avatar
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    er, just to clarify my posts on the first page, espcially since some people think entp's are "scary".

    I'll be vengeful when someone has really done me wrong. As in my ex-husband who cheated on me with a co-worker of both of ours (we worked at the same place), covering it up for over a year, telling me he wanted a divorce because I abandoned him (affair? what affair?), setting me up for this financially, and spending all the money on an $18,000 piece of shit boat that I didn't know about until I got his demand for divorce. That's what I mean by "doing me wrong."

    I'm not talking about minor insults and slights. I'm talking major highly unethical deceitful behaviors designed to put himself in a good position and me in a bad one. AFter taking marital vows and a 15 year relationship. And no, he wasn't anything like this when we got married, so don't let's anyone say I picked a loser therefore it's my fault I got dissed so badly.

    By revenge I mean ruining the way it was supposed to happen! It was supposed to play like this: I'm the bitch, he divorces me and ends up looking like he's dating her after the divorce and they looking like the prom king and queen, with everyone clapping and cheering for them.

    The way it really did play: I got the house, he got a $1200 monthly child support bill. I got promoted, he got fired. He looks like the dastardly dude and she looks like a sap who got a loser, with people wondering if she's capable of doing her job.

    So I spose these strategies I referred to aren't quite revenge strategies . . . they're self preservation strategies for me and my kids.

    Moral: entp's are smart, don't fuck with them :wink:

    ILE

    those who are easily shocked.....should be shocked more often

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    you go girl!
    INFP

  40. #40
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    Blaze no worries Just it sounded a bit scary when not knowing what you have to do to deserve punishment. In your case it seems like you have done what is right I'm interested in this partly because I have had a somewhat argumentative relations (not romantic) with one ENTp and I'm not exactly sure in what state our relations is now. I have no contact with this person anymore really but I might have again some time in the future. I hope I'm not on any blacklist But it is nothing comparable what you wrote. Just we disagreed quite a lot and often ended up changing pretty stingy arguments etc. ENTps seem to be sensitive to that kind of things.

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