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Thread: rules

  1. #1
    The Iniquitous inumbra's Avatar
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    Default rules & being passive

    I don't like it when there are rules stated by "authorities" who I don't trust when I feel I don't have access to the information (where I don't know where the rules are coming from). If I ask questions then it's like I'm an immature ignorant child who doesn't know anything and should trust the "authorities" rather than exploring these matters that are "bigger than I am." Or I'm a sort of problem as though I'm creating possible strife for asking a question because I'm supposed to agree. But I don't like not having access to the rules or knowing where they come from because then I can never understand anything. And I do tend to feel with people who I don't trust that they can say things are "rules" when they are not, or interpret the rules far more anally than need be. Then I feel like this person who really is some sort of ignorant problem, and I guess, who isn't very assertive about it. Questioning may come off as hesitant because I'm afraid of people inferring things about why I'm asking to begin with. I'm afraid they won't simply answer the question and instead ask me why I'm asking the question, and so then I don't trust them either. I suppose maybe I am a problem because I like to know the rules and understand them for the purpose of avoiding and side-stepping them in a manner where no attention is drawn so that I can continue to be this way. It is then part of a philosophy of distrust that is not social. I prefer to avoid others because I'm afraid they may impose rules upon me. And sometimes I feel this is seen as bad. I remind myself of a feral cat or something.

    I tend, I suppose, to "go behind people's backs" rather than confronting them directly. I would prefer to anonymously ask questions rather than confront the one who is informing me of the rules if I don't trust that person. I probably won't do anything with any information I gather in secret, but I like to gather it in secret, which is most important. I feel more secure understanding the rules where everyone fits in, in talking about them... and so once I feel that secure, I don't feel the need to do anything. Then I feel I know what's going on. Armed with my knowledge of the rules, I know if I'm being duped or not and can orient myself according to consequences. If things are indeed faux-rules then often there simply aren't big consequences of the sort that would happen if these were real rules that were broken and noticed. But in my feral cat way, I like to know everything, so I know the consequences, then I can orient my avoidant behaviors more sharply or perhaps with a confidence that was lacking before. This protects me from other people and from having to interact with them (consequences with other people are the ones I am generally most concerned about). I want to know how to continue without having to be put upon by others.

    But really I'm not assertively declaring myself and what I don't want. And part of the reason is because if I do then it's more difficult to side-step rules I don't agree with as then it may be expected. If I want to never go along with some rule, I have a better chance if I'm never vocal about this or show any signs, because then there's no reason to suspect or pay any attention to me... nothing is calling anything to attention in the minds of others... I proceed with my feral cat stealth.

    I'm sure this means nothing really in Socionics terms. It could perhaps suggest weak logic.
    Last edited by inumbra; 01-04-2012 at 10:45 PM.

  2. #2
    Creepy-Snaps

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    Rules are for people who can't think for themselves.

    No, growing up, I would constantly ask my Mom 'Why?' whenver she imposed a rule or limitation. Rules are very limiting, and I just wanted to understand why. It wasn't because I was necessarily intending to disobey, I was just curious to understand. She would just say eventually 'Because I say so', which I absolutely hated.

    Understanding is not a requisite of compliance, but from my experience working in direct care with children, things go smoother as people if you explain why someone should do something.

    I think there are 2 different modes of thinking. While I can understand asking why a rule should be explained, sometimes (actually quite often) a person in authority may view that as a challenge to their authority. And not every leader, or manager, or teacher, or person with authority, necessarily has the best people-skills, or leadership to understand and explain the rule to the person asking why, or to understand that explanation is important, otherwise the confusion and imposition will lead to resentment, distrust, and frustration.

    And I think it is related to socionics, perhaps Ne and Ti the most. Maybe also Se in terms of the authority which I mentioned.

  3. #3
    Hiding Typhon's Avatar
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    Default

    I think rules, as a basis, are in essence good -they orient people and give people pointers as to do and what not to do. The problem arises when it comes to interpreting the rules, since they tend to be very vague usually, even if somewhat explained. Some system of rules seem more consise to me than others, though, like they are more crystal clear whereas some are deliberatly left fuzzy so that there can be different interpretations made by the authorities enforcing them.

  4. #4
    Glorious Member mu4's Avatar
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    Default

    Generally you come to a understanding if you discuss the rules during a situation and come to a conclusion instead of apply a rule without deliberation, kinda of the reason there are trials and such. However many people are simply incapable of explaining why a rule exist or understanding why a rule exist, so sometimes rules have to be passed on as traditions and etiquette.

    Rules also alleviate worry and allow for the use of mental facilities on other tasks because people don't actually enjoy deliberating every action in their head before doing it, rules provide a reasonably predictable mechanism for what kind of actions they can or cannot take. Good rules generally allow people to do what they want most of the time and prevent harm during clear exceptions. Some level of harm is going to be ignored and allowed and some level of infringement will occur as well.

    I think rules are just the guidelines in a system of administration, deliberation and outcome always need to be looked at for any serious issues. Also, a lot of rules are going to be ignored by authority when no significant harm is done. However, due to the nature of how people view rules, this is not always the case.

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