Hi new Socionic virtual friends! I hope you can give me insight. I really want insight. I think I met my dual. Its kind of shook up my whole life and my plans for the future.
I am going to save myself some typing and for the first sharing of this story I will share what I shared on an MBTI forum recently. On that forum, it was not favorable to talk about Duality, since it is Socionics, and some there are offended with Duality talk; it gets some people's hackles up. But I have Duality on my mind! So I am here, and telling it here, and hopefully I will get some understanding and insight from those of you that have it on your minds!
Maybe I will make this into two posts as I originally wrote it.
The first, below, was my response to people discussing physical characteristics of ISTPs [it has been so helpful to learn what ISTPs are like from ISTPs there!]. Here it is:
I just have to tell you what that gesture makes me think of. Something I savor.
This hands-on-face gesture was my ISTP's reaction when I showed up at his door unexpectedly. I thought he knew I was coming. He lives in another state, next to the far side of mine, and I was going through it, first time ever, and my mapped route had the option of going through his town, so it was an impulsive [inspired?] choice to fit in a quick meeting with my dear old friend, in my very full long weekend in this part of the country I had never been to. So I dashed off a quick email hello and told him before I left town. But he had not gotten it, having changed his email address, and was not expecting me, so I was surprised by his surprise.
History: We had corresponded avidly about 4 years, purely as friends at the end of my difficult marriage, he, safely chaste and self-disciplined, and so understanding and certainly satisfying my desire for a man in my life in some capacity, and then he was the one I wrote to first when I discovered the emails - as I read them - that pointed to the shocking sudden end of my long marraige, and he got the play-by-play as crisis events unfolded and as I, under duress, made a new life. When things seemed to have settled for me, my ISTP, who had always make it clear this was "only just friends" sent an email that hinted for more and my great fear response made me ignore the hint. What he didn't know, since I didn't really realize it, was that I lived steeped in great fear all the time. And so he took my uncharacteristic non-response as rejection, and he let our correspondence drop off...
So there I was at his door and he had no idea who I was. And omigosh I liked him immediately. A picture - we had exchanged just one or two - is not at all the same as real life. His eyes - I loved these eyes! In pictures they had seemed a little shrouded, staring, and a little frightening, but in real life, I loved them. And later, I was embarrassed to hear myself tell my friend, who I stayed with en route to home, that I liked his "physicality" - a word I had never used, but clearly, my reaction... I had always this fear he would seem a stranger when I met him; now instead, he felt like an old and dear friend (which he is, just, one I'd never met), and somehow he seemed to be someone I had always known.
Not knowing who I was, he immediately assumed I was one of his "daughter's friends?" and "Oh, dear, am I supposed to know you?". And after delighting seeing him and delighting in his reactions and finally telling him, and he realized, those (manly) hands covered his face, and he kept repeating that gesture (sometimes bending over, sometimes pacing) while the idea continued to sink in... So I won't forget it! Its so him. I will always love that hands-on-face gesture.