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Thread: Learned helplessness

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    Default Learned helplessness

    For whatever reason, I am able to see learned helplessness symptoms in myself and I hate it. What can I do to change my behavior? I need to be more optimistic and assertive, I'm tired of stabbing myself in the back by being so passive.

    The best I can do for now is not beat up myself but channel the anger toward more positive things. Otherwise I'll just feel more foolish.
    In no way should one act contrary to the great future you have before you.

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    What does that do? Suicide is out of the question for now.
    In no way should one act contrary to the great future you have before you.

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    I doubt it will. I'm actually a very physically strong person, I could dismantle 80-90% of men near me without breaking a sweat. Sometimes it is overconfidence that is the reason for my lack of defending myself, believe it or not. But yes, for the latest instance of learned helplessness gun shooting may have helped. I simply did not object to a misunderstanding by a judge, which cost me $500 today. It was my first court order, though, and next time I won't be such submissive little bitch.
    In no way should one act contrary to the great future you have before you.

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    Yeah I need to learn how to be more emotionally verbal. How can I practice this?
    In no way should one act contrary to the great future you have before you.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Ashton View Post
    Umm, it should just be something you feel naturally in response to the perceived wrong, that motivates you to be assertive and correct it.

    I'm guessing you're an E5, so you're probably a bit disconnected from those sorts of immediate reactions though. Maybe an ethical type can explain it better?
    I just took the ennegram test and I am indeed type 5 with 3 & 6 & 9 tied directly behind.

    Quote Originally Posted by labocat View Post
    Dumbass, the thread is about me NOT whining enough. Research learned helplessness and you'll know what I mean.
    In no way should one act contrary to the great future you have before you.

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    lol. yeah, I need to man the fuck up man. Shit.

    Anyway after reading a bunch of articles on the situation, I believe this was most interesting:
    http://blog.moodr.org/2008/08/how-to...plessness.html

    My crisis is in the conscious and past. I need to clean this mind, which has been stained after being made so malleable by society's authority figures. Fuckin assholes.
    Last edited by intjguy; 12-02-2011 at 10:21 AM.
    In no way should one act contrary to the great future you have before you.

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    being helpless and struggling for power makes you more powerful in the long run

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    escaping anndelise's Avatar
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    Maybe try practicing. Even if the practice comes after the situation has happened.
    What would you have said or done now that you've had the chance to think about it?
    Imagine it first, when you had the same info you had then.
    Then imagine it again, but with your current info (the result, hindsight kind of thing).
    Then, for each scenario, go back and imagine different actions/words.

    Each time you practice it, preferably with a friend (also known as venting and what-iffing), each practice creates links within your brain which will gradually lead to you actually taking some action next time. Doesn't mean the action will succeed. But each instance of practice, whether real or imagined, makes it just a bit easier to do it the next time around.
    IEE 649 sx/sp cp

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    I have/had this problem. I solve it by realizing, philosophically speaking, that being passive or assertive are both neither more important than the other; and the only way to change things is to extrovert. Then I have no doubt, if I want a change, I extrovert with the world more where there is initial desire.

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    Thanks for the advice divided.
    In no way should one act contrary to the great future you have before you.

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    Start smoking big cigars and be more misogynistic towards women. Project your helplessness on to them and on perceived inferiorities in others.
    You can do anything with a bayonet except sit on it.

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    sounds like your primary issue is discovering the right sort of degree/tone in life and learn to pay attention to the subtleties better.

    'victim playing' and somebody acting helpless is annoying, but it's also annoying when people act smug/narcissistic and too distant from other people and like they never need anybody else's advice or input.

    It doesn't have to be one or the other. you can still be loved/accepted/appreciated by others, but also still go your own way. and yes, a lot of it is 'manning up' but acting too much of an alpha male is a huge turn-off.

    your relationships with people will all be incredibly different. there will be those that see mostly the good in you and want to bring it out. and there will be others, where they always judge you with a psychological flaw or 'weak point' no matter what you do or hard how you try. a lot of it is a Fi/Fe thing.

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    there's not a person on this planet who has went somewhere successful without the help of another. there's no such thing as the sort of 'hyper individualism' that is preached about in american culture as this distant ideal that doesn't really work in reality. you have to be open to other people helping you. nobody can do it alone. the strongest people are the ones that have the most connections, not less.

    it only becomes 'codependent' or helpless when you stop doing things for yourself that you should be doing and expect other people to take care of u.

    but it takes many people to make something really big and important happening. there's just too much work, and we have to work together.

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    Quote Originally Posted by felafel View Post
    hey guy, agree w/the advice on the piece you linked (aka awareness). btw, what types were/are your parents? perhaps mediation might help. good luck
    /edit: i meant *meditation*, keyboard has probs
    Medication.

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