Unusually common non-dual romantic pairings

[mfckr]

Supervision and Benefit pairings are common in general, either sex.

I notice LIE/IEI frequently; LIE/SLE pops up a lot too.

[under the bridge]

I'm not claiming this to be a pattern, but in my experience I've seen a good number of SEI/SLI couples.

[Aquagraph]

Gotta admit, most of my ex-lovers seem to be IEIs. I had attributed it to local lack of SEIs (or my incapability to spot them), but it maybe a pattern. Also, my way to approach can be somewhat Aggressor-like.

[rafaeli]

i know of many male SLE/female SEE couples.
they're pretty entertaining when with a big crowd. they're "that" couple. the couple that everyone knows and just bring big energy where ever they go. though, they seem more into the attention and interaction they're getting from other people than they are into each other....
kindred relations are cute, they usually always end and they each go their seperate way but you can't help but reminisce about them because the were just FUN.

[Aquagraph]

kindred relations are cute, they usually always end[...]

Most relations do, don't they.

[Galen]

I see a lot of successful mirror relationships around. Semi-duality is pretty common too. Haven't seen a lot of activity partners, which surprises me considering the supposed compatibility between the two.

[glam]

ILE male-IEI female (illusion)
SEI female-LSI male (benefit)
EIE female-ILI male (supervision)
SEE female-ESI male (mirror)
EII male-SLI female (activity)

[Suz]

I'm not claiming this to be a pattern, but in my experience I've seen a good number of SEI/SLI couples.

yeah interesting... the SLI i'm into now used to have a serious SEI girlfriend too. I wonder why that particular kindred relation tends to be so attractive... I mean obviously it didn't work out for them, so there were probs ultimately...

[Suz]

kindred relations are cute, they usually always end and they each go their seperate way but you can't help but reminisce about them because the were just FUN.

Yeah the SLI & SEI did look very cute together actually... and they're still fb friends too even though the SEI is in another relationship now...

[silke]

benefit - more common between ethical + logical types than two ethical or two logical ones (i.e. ILE-EIE is more common than ILE-LSE)

supervision - at least short term

semi-duality among rationals (ESI-LSE, LSI-EIE, EII-LIE, LII-EIE)
mirage among rationals (IEI-ILE, ILI-IEE, SEI-SLE, SLI-SEE)

extinguishment - common for both friendship and short-term relationships. likely for the reason of extinguishment partners being reminiscent of one's dual (same temperament, same cog-style). plus it's easier to meet than with one's dual (same club). these relations are more fragile than superego and people usually easily separate once they begin feeling something is off. (i've been pursued by my contraries much more often than my duals, but it never lasts).

I've been surprised to see a few super-ego pairings. There is something strange going on with this relation that's not fully explained anywhere in socionics descriptions. It's a difficult relaitonships type, but there is something there that makes the bond very strong once it's established - people just can't seem to be able to leave each other even though there are misunderstandings everywhere. Is a sense of mystery? A feeling of mutual respect and sympathy? Needs further looking into.


relations that I would have expected to be common, that aren't
- mirror
- activity

[1981slater]

SEI-ESE
SEE-ESI

[redbaron]

ESE/SEI
SLE/ESI (I see this one a LOT. I think I know three couples personally in this pairing, two are divorced after long marriages)
SLE/EII (I know two couples! Both still together, but not happy, just committed. at some point, it's just too hard to get out)
ESE/IEE
EII/ILE
SLE/LSI
EII/SEI
SEI/IEE
SEI/LSE

[Lotus]

EIE female-ILI male (supervision)

mY ex-roomies were EIE (female) and ILI (male), both ni subtype. they looked more cute together and compatible at a distance but once i lived with them i saw they had a lot of problems. the EIE was alwaYs trying to get the ILI to have more friends, and the ILI was verY critical of the EIE over stupid shit. i remember she got too drunk and passed out on the living room floor with her dog onlY a few hours after the ILI got off work. Yet she was able to wake up and remember to call herself a cab for the morning, and he was all pissed off at her for it. like if You can wake up and call Yourself a cab You should have been able to wake up when i was shaking You to come to bed with me blah blah. she later complained to me, comparing the ILI to her ex, who she felt would've carried her to bed and called a cab for her, instead of making her feel like shit.

another time when they were fighting she went out bY herself at night to hang with her guy friends (who i know are good people and it was def not sexual) and they were plaYing with a knife in the park and she accidentlY cut her hand, slicing a nerve and had to go to the hospital. the ILI didn't visit her because he felt she "deserved" it and she would be afraid to complain about the pain or anYthing around him cause he would guilt her.

the ILI was more passive in the relationship when he was depending on her for moneY, but when he got a job he became more dominant in the relationship. theY kept a lot of secrets from each other because theY put heavY judgement on each other for mistakes. it was a more passive-aggressive tYpe of fighting though, not Yelling. they'd also channel their frustration into household issues, which made them a pain in the ass to live with when they quit smoking pot.

[Saberstorm]

Super EGO relations ::: Each super ego partner is quasi-identical to each others activity partner. It is easy to mistype somebody as their quasi-identical because you see their Id functions and mistake them for their lead functions. Thus, Super Ego relations should start off like they are activity pairs.

[Slacker]

I'm going to agree with Galen - I see a LOT of mirror married couples. Not many activity and that seems weird to me too.

[FDG]

I've seen activity and benefit being relatively common. Can't think of any mirror.

More specifically, I know a lot of IP-Ni with IJ-Se pairs, especially ISFj(female)-INTp(male). ESFps and ENTjs can be kinda high manteinance.

Among benefit, I've seen ENTj-ENFp and ESFj-ESTp, although these pairings don't seem to last long.

[FDG]

mY ex-roomies were EIE (female) and ILI (male), both ni subtype. they looked more cute together and compatible at a distance but once i lived with them i saw they had a lot of problems. the EIE was alwaYs trying to get the ILI to have more friends, and the ILI was verY critical of the EIE over stupid shit. i remember she got too drunk and passed out on the living room floor with her dog onlY a few hours after the ILI got off work. Yet she was able to wake up and remember to call herself a cab for the morning, and he was all pissed off at her for it. like if You can wake up and call Yourself a cab You should have been able to wake up when i was shaking You to come to bed with me blah blah. she later complained to me, comparing the ILI to her ex, who she felt would've carried her to bed and called a cab for her, instead of making her feel like shit.

another time when they were fighting she went out bY herself at night to hang with her guy friends (who i know are good people and it was def not sexual) and they were plaYing with a knife in the park and she accidentlY cut her hand, slicing a nerve and had to go to the hospital. the ILI didn't visit her because he felt she "deserved" it and she would be afraid to complain about the pain or anYthing around him cause he would guilt her.

the ILI was more passive in the relationship when he was depending on her for moneY, but when he got a job he became more dominant in the relationship. theY kept a lot of secrets from each other because theY put heavY judgement on each other for mistakes. it was a more passive-aggressive tYpe of fighting though, not Yelling. they'd also channel their frustration into household issues, which made them a pain in the ass to live with when they quit smoking pot.

You were living with fucked up people

[Eye of the Potato]

mY ex-roomies were EIE (female) and ILI (male), both ni subtype. they looked more cute together and compatible at a distance but once i lived with them i saw they had a lot of problems. the EIE was alwaYs trying to get the ILI to have more friends, and the ILI was verY critical of the EIE over stupid shit. i remember she got too drunk and passed out on the living room floor with her dog onlY a few hours after the ILI got off work. Yet she was able to wake up and remember to call herself a cab for the morning, and he was all pissed off at her for it. like if You can wake up and call Yourself a cab You should have been able to wake up when i was shaking You to come to bed with me blah blah. she later complained to me, comparing the ILI to her ex, who she felt would've carried her to bed and called a cab for her, instead of making her feel like shit.

another time when they were fighting she went out bY herself at night to hang with her guy friends (who i know are good people and it was def not sexual) and they were plaYing with a knife in the park and she accidentlY cut her hand, slicing a nerve and had to go to the hospital. the ILI didn't visit her because he felt she "deserved" it and she would be afraid to complain about the pain or anYthing around him cause he would guilt her.

the ILI was more passive in the relationship when he was depending on her for moneY, but when he got a job he became more dominant in the relationship. theY kept a lot of secrets from each other because theY put heavY judgement on each other for mistakes. it was a more passive-aggressive tYpe of fighting though, not Yelling. they'd also channel their frustration into household issues, which made them a pain in the ass to live with when they quit smoking pot.

Sounds similar enough to an EIE/ILI couple I knew. The ILI ended up having a secret affair with a mutual friend of theirs, an SEE. It went on behind the EIE's back for months. Duality huh?

[Beautiful sky]

ESE/SEI
SLE/ESI (I see this one a LOT. I think I know three couples personally in this pairing, two are divorced after long marriages)
SLE/EII (I know two couples! Both still together, but not happy, just committed. at some point, it's just too hard to get out)
ESE/IEE
EII/ILE
SLE/LSI
EII/SEI
SEI/IEE
SEI/LSE

How was the relationship between SEI and LSE?

[redbaron]

How was the relationship between SEI and LSE?

Horrible at points, but they stuck it out and have both mellowed some in their early 60s.... married for over 40 years I believe.

[Suz]

Horrible at points, but they stuck it out and have both mellowed some in their early 60s.... married for over 40 years I believe.

Horrible in what way?

[Nowisthetime]

ESE (woman)-LSI (man) semiduality seems quite common. I think Gulenko also mentioned this somewhere. LSI men often live up to the role model of a good husband and masculine man, and semiduality is pretty good so ESE women often go for them.

[redbaron]

Horrible in what way?

LOTS of fighting. (I heard it... I'm talking about my aunt and uncle) Massive and constant disagreements on raising the kids, discipline, etc. Lots of frustration with each other from both people but LSE was more frustrated and upset with the SEI. To some extent, he tried to let it roll off his back. But it wasn't pretty and I felt like he was often emasculated. She yelled at him a lot, put him down in from of others. Very unhealthy.

[Creepy-Snaps]

redbaron! Seems like you haven't posted in a while. How are you?

[glam]

LOTS of fighting. (I heard it... I'm talking about my aunt and uncle) Massive and constant disagreements on raising the kids, discipline, etc. Lots of frustration with each other from both people but LSE was more frustrated and upset with the SEI. To some extent, he tried to let it roll off his back. But it wasn't pretty and I felt like he was often emasculated. She yelled at him a lot, put him down in from of others. Very unhealthy.

i have to be honest, when i hear stories like this i'm glad that i learned socionics, because now i know who to marry and who to avoid. lol

[Absurd]

Interesting. Makes sense.

[glam]

Interesting. Makes sense.

yes Absurd, don't marry an IEI! she'll make you so miserable that one horrible night you may end up beating her in a drunken rage. it would be unfortunate for all parties involved.

[lemontrees]

i have to be honest, when i hear stories like this i'm glad that i learned socionics, because now i know who to marry and who to avoid. lol

I know, right??

My dad is an LSE actually. I used to be quite attracted to people who I felt resembled my father as well as hold him up as a standard of competence (fucked up, I know). I particularly sought out people like that because I always grew up under the assumption that there was something wrong or defective about myself for not having any of his qualities. His temper didn't help.

In fact, I used to have a hard time with the idea of dating (people who were) ILE's b/c they didn't have any of those LSE traits! And I was used to the feeling of being helpless/utterly not capable (which I sometimes get around LSE's) b/c I had internalized that feeling as a truth about myself. So socionics isn't useless. Hmm.

oh ps-- I know quite a few ILE (male)/ LSE (female) pairings. It's usually a (successful) ILE unwaveringly chasing the LSE, who is then moved or flattered by the attention. The relationship seems to start to go bad pretty quickly.

[redbaron]

redbaron! Seems like you haven't posted in a while. How are you?

Hi MD! I'm doing well, thanks! Busy...

[Beautiful sky]

LOTS of fighting. (I heard it... I'm talking about my aunt and uncle) Massive and constant disagreements on raising the kids, discipline, etc. Lots of frustration with each other from both people but LSE was more frustrated and upset with the SEI. To some extent, he tried to let it roll off his back. But it wasn't pretty and I felt like he was often emasculated. She yelled at him a lot, put him down in from of others. Very unhealthy.

My LSE bf with his SEI sister and same pairing is with my dual cousin and her sister. The SEI is dismissive of LSE doesn't take the things in his life seriously, what is important to an LSE at a given time is disregarded as important by the SEI. The SEI will do something to shut the LSE down when what LSE finds is important and wants to talk about something extensively or start a conversation with them.

[mu4]

I know, right??

My dad is an LSE actually. I used to be quite attracted to people who I felt resembled my father as well as hold him up as a standard of competence (fucked up, I know). I particularly sought out people like that because I always grew up under the assumption that there was something wrong or defective about myself for not having any of his qualities. His temper didn't help.

In fact, I used to have a hard time with the idea of dating (people who were) ILE's b/c they didn't have any of those LSE traits! And I was used to the feeling of being helpless/utterly not capable (which I sometimes get around LSE's) b/c I had internalized that feeling as a truth about myself. So socionics isn't useless. Hmm.

oh ps-- I know quite a few ILE (male)/ LSE (female) pairings. It's usually a (successful) ILE unwaveringly chasing the LSE, who is then moved or flattered by the attention. The relationship seems to start to go bad pretty quickly.

Always been the other way around for me, I have to dodge LSE's like bullets. They all want to take care of me/control me or something. They're workaholics and I know they can cheat on their significant others(usually they're bugging me when they're in relationships) and way too masculine for me.

Relationship I've seen a few of

ILE/IEI
ESE/IEI
EIE/ILI
ESE/EII