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Thread: Benefit relations SEI & EII interaction (ISFp-INFj)

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    Professional Turtle Taknamay's Avatar
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    Default Benefit relations SEI & EII interaction (ISFp-INFj)

    Ok, my friend and I are pretty confident she is SEI. The thing is, I was pretty skeptical at first, because she and I argue quite a bit. The thing is, I get the impression that she doesn't value my . She will complain if I talk about a single idea for too long, especially if it's about something that doesn't affect her directly...

    Do you think she is not SEI? Or can this relationship work this way?

    By the way, if you're wondering about my typing method, it was basically by establishing which information elements were in her ego. SHE EXUDES
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    Your DNA is mine. Mediator Kam's Avatar
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    We need more information. I would be bored with monotony as well. And what is your definition of ? Just being chill?
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    Darn Socks Director Abbie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Taknamay View Post
    She will complain if I talk about a single idea for too long, especially if it's about something that doesn't affect her directly...
    Who wouldn't?

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    Quote Originally Posted by Ritella View Post
    Over here, we'll put up with (almost) all of your crap. You just have to use the secret phrase: "I don't value it. It's related to <insert random element here>, which is not in my quadra."
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    Abbie is so boring and rigid it's awesome instead of boring and rigid. She seems so practical and down-to-the-ground.

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    Professional Turtle Taknamay's Avatar
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    ...I wouldn't. >_> To give an example of when she got really mad at me was this: I was saying that if men can walk around topless, then women should be allowed to walk around topless too. And I was just stating facts, defending my position, and was completely calm the whole time, and for some reason she got more and more upset, and basically told me "STFU, WHY AM I EVEN ARGUING WITH YOU I DONT EVEN CARE ABOUT THIS YOURE ALWAYS JUST TRYING TO START FIGHTS" and I was like "...I wasn't trying to fight... I just wanted something to talk about..."

    So, it's not so much monotony, I think it's more like when I try to question societal rules that people take for granted.

    When I say she exudes , I mean she spends a lot of time talking about her physical status, such as aches she has, something she did that made her feel good, something good she ate, etc. Isn't that what is about? She agrees with all the descriptions of it.
    Last edited by Taknamay; 11-11-2011 at 02:44 PM.
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    Your DNA is mine. Mediator Kam's Avatar
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    I think you miss the point here. I am not a woman, but I don't think very many women would walk around topless, simply because of the looks men would give her. Hell, women don't like strange men looking at them to begin with, let alone looking at them with their breasts hanging out. You missed entirely the reason why she got angry. Rather than trying to make a point and win her over, you should have kept it entirely theoretical. But even so, talking to a girl about how you want girls topless might make her just a litttttle awkward.

    And yeah, I can see an SEI saying these type of things.
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    Professional Turtle Taknamay's Avatar
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    Well, I wasn't saying I want girls topless. But they shouldn't be fined/arrested for it, that's all. It's about equality. I really don't care that much for breasts. But yes, I do understand the point you're making, and so maybe that was the reason she was upset.

    Here's my point: The main different between male chests and female chests is that female chests are protruding, right? But they both have nipples. So why is cleavage allowed and not nipples? And then she got really pissed at me and said I don't understand. Then I asked her to explain what it is I don't understand, and she got more pissed. But that was a while ago.

    In any case, I'm not here to argue why I'm right, but to understand what happened back there. I was just using that as an example.

    Sometime's it's difficult for me to drop things when the only thing someone can say is "you just don't understand." I'm learning how to tolerate it better.



    And she also judges me for watching My Little Pony.
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    Contrarian Traditionalist Krig the Viking's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Taknamay View Post
    ...I wouldn't. >_> To give an example of when she got really mad at me was this: I was saying that if men can walk around topless, then women should be allowed to walk around topless too. And I was just stating facts, defending my position, and was completely calm the whole time, and for some reason she got more and more upset, and basically told me "STFU, WHY AM I EVEN ARGUING WITH YOU I DONT EVEN CARE ABOUT THIS YOURE ALWAYS JUST TRYING TO START FIGHTS" and I was like "...I wasn't trying to fight... I just wanted something to talk about..."

    So, it's not so much monotony, I think it's more like when I try to question societal rules that people take for granted.

    When I say she exudes , I mean she spends a lot of time talking about her physical status, such as aches she has, something she did that made her feel good, something good she ate, etc. Isn't that what is about? She agrees with all the descriptions of it.
    I've had similar problems with an EII, although she would never get outwardly angry, just inwardly resentful (and didn't tell me about it until like a year or two later). In my case, I was trying to argue that swear words are not morally wrong, only impolite. My argument was perfectly logical, but it was offensive to her Fi sense of "how I feel things ought to be".

    Maybe this girl is IEE or something? I know my Si-Suggestive ILE friend is much more vocal than I am about his interest in good food and physical comfort -- but he's more appreciative of when other people provide such things for him; he tends to be pretty spartan when it comes to actually providing such things for himself and others. Does your friend just talk about Si, or does she actually try to provide Si for herself and others?
    Quaero Veritas.

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    Professional Turtle Taknamay's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Krig the Viking View Post
    Does your friend just talk about Si, or does she actually try to provide Si for herself and others?
    Honestly, I cannot answer this question. I'm really only friends with her online, so it's not quite my place to say. It just seemed to me that she had strong Si, but maybe she is only Si valuing. Not sure.

    But I will say this, I don't think this describes her:
    Quote Originally Posted by Wikisocion
    The individual tends to be chronically unaware of his own bodily processes, including physiological sensations and a sense of balance and alignment with one's true desires. He sometimes has peculiar preferences or tastes, which he himself is unable to understand or fulfill.The individual almost never emphasizes his attractiveness or sexuality overtly and publicly, but dreams of being pleasing to the senses to at least a small circle of trusted friends and partners who are able to develop and enhance his sexuality and attractiveness in a trusting atmosphere.
    All the good are friends of one another. (Zeno of Citium)
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    Ti centric krieger's Avatar
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    its because women don't want to be regarded as sexual objects and don't want the lower bound of social acceptability to be dragged down so they don't have to walk round topless too to compete with the sluts that wanted to do that to begin with to get any attention from men.

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    Professional Turtle Taknamay's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by labocat View Post
    its because women don't want to be regarded as sexual objects and don't want the lower bound of social acceptability to be dragged down so they don't have to walk round topless too to compete with the sluts that wanted to do that to begin with to get any attention from men.
    But... is it up to the law to enforce that? Well, like I said, the point of the thread isn't to justify my position. I understand to a degree that a good argument can be made on the other side, but my main point is that she got pissed at me. My point is not simply that she disagreed with me, which I'm ok with, I just didn't expect her to get so angry.

    Also, make a note of something. Toplessness is legal in Colorado, Hawaii, Maine, New York, Ohio and Texas. Do you see dozens of women walking around topless? No. Just because something is legal doesn't mean everyone's going to do it now.
    Last edited by Taknamay; 11-11-2011 at 04:20 PM.
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    Glorious Member mu4's Avatar
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    I don't see how SEI will be like that, generally I find they let me yap their head off and I let them yap my head off.

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    Ti centric krieger's Avatar
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    Also, make a note of something. Toplessness is legal in Colorado, Hawaii, Maine, New York, Ohio and Texas. Do you see dozens of women walking around topless? No. Just because something is legal doesn't mean everyone's going to do it now.
    clearly your date believed otherwise. whether its true is an entirely different matter.

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    Professional Turtle Taknamay's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by labocat View Post
    clearly your date believed otherwise.
    My date?! Huh?! Wuh... WAH! D: no we're just friends
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    escaping anndelise's Avatar
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    Perhaps she is self conscious of her breasts? Or maybe of her sexuality? Or maybe she's read/experienced something that would lead to her having a firm opposition to having those thoughts in her head? Etc etc.

    Maybe it's not your questioning of societal rules that she finds frustrating, but your method? Or the specific words you use?

    Or maybe, because it's online, she's reading something into your 'body language' or 'meanings' or 'intent' that isn't there?

    Or or or

    Your best bet would probably be to...ASK her...about HER thoughts on a topic.
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    Professional Turtle Taknamay's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by anndelise View Post
    Your best bet would probably be to...ASK her...about HER thoughts on a topic.
    That may be a good method. I suppose I will try that next time.
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    Contrarian Traditionalist Krig the Viking's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by hkkmr View Post
    I don't see how SEI will be like that, generally I find they let me yap their head off and I let them yap my head off.
    Yeah. Even if an SEI disagrees with you on something like that, they tend to be a lot more easy-going and understanding about it. They tend to get that you're making a theoretical point, not attacking their ethical values.



    Could she be SLI or something, Taknamay?
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    Taknamay, is that the only reason you think your date is Si dominant? Also why do you think she values Fe? Also how did you and your date meet up and how would you describe your relationship?
    You can do anything with a bayonet except sit on it.

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    Professional Turtle Taknamay's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Krig the Viking View Post
    Yeah. Even if an SEI disagrees with you on something like that, they tend to be a lot more easy-going and understanding about it. They tend to get that you're making a theoretical point, not attacking their ethical values. Could she be SLI or something, Taknamay?
    I was considering that. I think she doesn't believe she could be Logical, and always seems to agree with descriptions of the Ethical dichotomy. But can that be self-esteem related? She often says I make her feel stupid when I talk smart even though I'm not at all trying to do that.

    Quote Originally Posted by jxrtes View Post
    Taknamay, is that the only reason you think your date is Si dominant? Also why do you think she values Fe? Also how did you and your date meet up and how would you describe your relationship?
    I hope you're doing this on purpose. In any case, yes, I suppose that is the only reason I think she is Si dominant. So, there might be a good chance I'm wrong. It's really not me who thinks she values Fe, but she seems to think so more than Te. And we met in an online game/social type thing. It's not easy for me to describe our relationship... sometimes she makes me think I'm close, sometimes she makes me think I don't know her at all... but we have been friends for more than a year now, and we have shared a lot with each other and I think we feel comfortable with each other. I think she trusts me a lot.
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    Potentially she was not interested in whatever you were talking about, well, at least not passionate enough to want to debate about it. If that's your demeanor during most debates, then she could believe she needs to adopt a position and develop an argument: something, I imagine, some people would not be bothered to do if they didn't care about the topic. If she exudes Si, could she be delta (Ti-Polr?). She could be viewing what you're saying as an actual problem with society that you think is a violation of your rights and makes you feel upset about it etc. etc. (Fi + Te?), not just something which is theoretically sound, and, in theory, makes perfect sense, even though you're not desperately hoping for it to be made into law (Ti + Ne?).
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    Glorious Member mu4's Avatar
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    Professional Turtle Taknamay's Avatar
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    @ClownsandEntropy Yes, one of my first thoughts was that she might have been Delta. I might need some time to figure this out.

    Quote Originally Posted by hkkmr View Post
    Pics
    Well, I don't have any available. And for the sake of her privacy, I wouldn't be able to show them to you anyway <_< sorry
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