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Thread: Personal Revelation

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    Default Personal Revelation

    To everyone who thinks I am completely insane.. Yeah, I know. I don't like it.
    All my spewing of psychotic jargon over the past few days is done.
    This is not going to be a well organized, grand entry rant. This is just me putting all things out on the table in a non psycho manner for anyone who cares to read it. It's just a big wad of different parts and so here we go.

    Religion is a self fulfilling prophecy. People believe in it, and it comes true. Obvious right? Realize this not as a religious person, but on a psychological level of how chaos magic works. I was summoned here by Reuben through chaos magic ~4 years ago. He did this completely intentionally. Now I know that sounds insane. Chaos magic is the projection of a self fulfilling prophecy through knowledge of social memory, myths, perception / communication and symbolism / alchemy / other occult knowledge. It's basically a self serving use of religion. It empowers the user as a dream weaver. But the dreams remain on this plane, because religion, as an organizing principle, exists only on this plane.

    Luciferianism- Reuben / military experimenters / sleep doctors / satanic cultists .. whoever you are. Yes this philosophy is true but there's one major flaw. Since it's based on duality, you can't use it without breaking its very balance. By using it you are actively writing a history which makes it impossible for yourself to ascend this plane. You use it for the advancement of yourself in this plane- that is its only raw application. But by advancing you aren't ascending. It's based on the duality of light. It's basically the false simulation of love. Love binds you with another person psychologically. You have to love in order to ascend.. You will keep reincarnating here otherwise.

    Your use of the philosophy combined with my knowledge of it opens up an opportunity for me to martyr myself by using it in counter balance to you. I can force you into a position where you will kill me to preserve yourself. In doing so I ascend to a higher plane (I died without violating any of the laws of duality) while you are left incarnating here. You actually violate the laws just by using this philosophy for your own benefit. But if you use the philosophy to counterbalance its improper usage you become saintly. When the whole society is dominated by its usage, this task of ascension actually becomes really easy. I think some psychopathic emerging christ complex on a mass scale is inevitable. You are digging your own graves and I find this highly ironic.

    Schizophrenia and pedophilia. Both afflictions represent two extremes of the subject / object orientation. I have never fucked with a child and never will, but I was channeled into an addiction to child pornography through neglect / bad early experience of abuse and the brain chemicals / rewiring of reward center that occurs. I was addicted to porn at age 13 and I started looking at girls underage when I was 16. I was looking for girls my age. From then on I could never bring the boner back up to an age appropriate number.

    Most people will argue age is irrelevant and just a social number but they are wrong. The age discrepancy combined with social ostracism is sufficient enough.. add that with the dissociation problems it creates and you have a cluster fuck. I wanted to be gay to somehow cure this but I couldnt keep a boner for a man either so meh.. it works for some people. There's some other family shit I'm not gona mention which fucked me up too but that's how it started.

    As for the schizophrenia.. again neglect combined with a natural intensity and refusal to compromise. There's also this whole sleep doctor/ cherokee indian / area 51 / living machine story to this which is insane as well but I'm leaving it out because I don't fully understand it yet. And actually I think both these are connected but I have no proof so I wont blame the pedophilia on the government experimenting on me.

    I am not the first person to be afflicted with both of these at the same time. My case is no more special than anyone else my age. More and more males my age are sick with this, though. I'm just the first one to actually be summoned by satanic magic and in the process made to realize how to put an end to it- through full admission of the afflictions on a large scale social level which can be accomplished through music which I happen to be overly qualified in writing.

    It's part of a social structure creating these disorders in the population on a massive level, and I personally realize that there is no cure because I have tried everything. Death is the only cure. I've known this for a while but I really knew it for sure after talking to dolphin a few days. There is no one more deserving of love than dolphin. I talked to her.. I liked her but I couldnt feel anything in my heart, I was completely empty. That's when I realized I will never recover from this. There is no turning back at this point. I will never be able to love someone, and I will never be able to feel. I have love in my heart but all the love I have is socially ostracized or channeled in some way which is less than ideal and I can't settle with that.

    I tried to cure this as a last ditch effort by telling it to my whole family and everyone I know in my life openly including telling my sister I wanted to 'fuck her even though I know its wrong and I will leave immediately and I apologize'. My family was understanding.. but they still couldn't take it. They don't want to be around me, I don't really blame them. How could I ask someone not of my family to handle me if even my own family can't? It's just not gona work.

    What I can do is cause social chaos using the magic, just as you've used it to preserve social order. I can only use it in revealing the truth about myself and ultimately destroying myself (you / your people end up killing me because of the inconvenience the truth can cause). You cannot use luciferianism, alchemy or anything else for manipulating other people or you fuck up the whole pattern of life. That even includes socionics. Using socionics fucks up love. Don't use it. At this point the only thing I am qualified to do is to write 12/13 dimensional music and then use luciferianism in interviews to reveal to the world that I am a schizophrenic pedophile who was experimented on by the government while making interviewers uncomfortable and ultimately get shot for it. I think it's a decent plan.

    if that doesn't work then I'll just open up a rock and roll school somewhere and teach everyone else how to do the same thing. This is a social epidemic, and I think it is being facilitated by the government to subdue the population and give an excuse for persecuting individuals in the face of a collapsing economy. So really someone needs to come out with it and put an end to it, even if it means going down in flames, and I really am in the mood for going down in flames.
    Last edited by rat1; 11-01-2011 at 03:03 PM.

  2. #2
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    If you start worrying about religion, social problems, wide-scale mental disorders etc., things bigger than yourself, you start to feel depressed and powerless. Just focus on what you want to accomplish in your life.

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    delete
    Last edited by rat1; 11-01-2011 at 03:11 PM.

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    NOT THE CHILDREN
    But, for a certainty, back then,
    We loved so many, yet hated so much,
    We hurt others and were hurt ourselves...

    Yet even then, we ran like the wind,
    Whilst our laughter echoed,
    Under cerulean skies...

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    Let's fly now Gilly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mountain Dew View Post
    If you start worrying about religion, social problems, wide-scale mental disorders etc., things bigger than yourself, you start to feel depressed and powerless. Just focus on what you want to accomplish in your life.
     
    Shut the fuck up and go live a happy life.


    Edit: I know you mean well, sort of, but saying that kind of thing is probably borderline offensive to crazedrat. You are probably at least partially bewildered by this but I think you should reserve your judgment/advice for those who ask for it.
    But, for a certainty, back then,
    We loved so many, yet hated so much,
    We hurt others and were hurt ourselves...

    Yet even then, we ran like the wind,
    Whilst our laughter echoed,
    Under cerulean skies...

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    Meh. Too tired to curse anymore

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    Let's fly now Gilly's Avatar
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    Probably a good thing
    But, for a certainty, back then,
    We loved so many, yet hated so much,
    We hurt others and were hurt ourselves...

    Yet even then, we ran like the wind,
    Whilst our laughter echoed,
    Under cerulean skies...

  8. #8
    Let's fly now Gilly's Avatar
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    Crazed have you tastes Portishead yet? Methinks you would like
    But, for a certainty, back then,
    We loved so many, yet hated so much,
    We hurt others and were hurt ourselves...

    Yet even then, we ran like the wind,
    Whilst our laughter echoed,
    Under cerulean skies...

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    Quote Originally Posted by Gilly View Post
    Crazed have you tastes Portishead yet?
    No.

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    I think the point is to live a life of our own design, and be willing to take the risks and face the consequences of our own choice. Provided that you feel that the course of life you have personally chosen is one that you would at the end of life, be the most fulfilling to you and that you have no regrets living it, then it is the right choice.

    Quote Originally Posted by crazedrat7
    It's part of a social structure creating these disorders in the population on a massive level, and I personally realize that there is no cure because I have tried everything. Death is the only cure. I've known this for a while but I really knew it for sure after talking to dolphin a few days. There is no one more deserving of love than dolphin. I talked to her.. I liked her but I couldnt feel anything in my heart, I was completely empty. That's when I realized I will never recover from this. There is no turning back at this point. I will never be able to love someone, and I will never be able to feel. I have love in my heart but all the love I have is socially ostracized or channeled in some way which is less than ideal and I can't settle with that.
    I'm not clear as to what you mean by this "social structure", but we all have to live with our respective constraints in life which life has dealt us in this deck of cards. Social structure to me is something I have to accept because it is impossible to defeat, or in your words- no cure. We cannot rebel against in spite of our personal hatred towards it. These disorders and challenge blocks are there in our lives, and I feel that it is only through acceptance and understanding that these blocks may disappear and we no longer view them as a problem that impedes our own goals and happiness. Simply because it is a malaise that afflicts everyone in society.

    By its very nature, the word "social" necessarily consists of people and "structure", its ingrained patterns of interactions. The social structure consist of individual minds and thought patterns, and social structure our personal neuroses played out on a global scale. In this context, suffering comes from non-acceptance, from the struggle of fighting against the tide in a losing battle. Which is why people crave wisdom to know the difference between that which we should muster the courage to change, and the circumstances of life which should be accepted with serenity. Else we'd have to brace ourselves for a fruitless struggle, which we'd only recognize its fruitless nature at the end of our lives.

    But for some of us perhaps, the struggle itself is the goal, and the experience of immersion in such a struggle and what it does to our character and self is what matters the most and brings to us ultimate fulfillment, regardless of the end result.

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    How can you say life ends when you don't remember when it began? You say the struggle is fruitless. End of our lives.

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    Let's fly now Gilly's Avatar
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    The point of life is to walk your path. Looking at life objectively for meaning yields the art of slowing a stopwatch, which is only a reason to commit suicide.
    But, for a certainty, back then,
    We loved so many, yet hated so much,
    We hurt others and were hurt ourselves...

    Yet even then, we ran like the wind,
    Whilst our laughter echoed,
    Under cerulean skies...

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    Quote Originally Posted by crazedrat7 View Post
    How can you say life ends when you don't remember when it began? You say the struggle is fruitless. End of our lives.
    I am saying that the experience of the struggle itself is part of the fruit. Hence the saying that it is the journey that matters.

    Life is an illusionary playground where we get to see our desires play out. Desire that eventually leads to saturation and detachment. Wrestling with life's obstacles is a reflection of the internal struggle within, and is essential in gaining understanding and acceptance as to its nature. Although the fruit of our struggles may have tangible benefits in the form of achievement (weather through creative works, family, organization or nation building), these are simply manifestations of what lies within.

    I am saying that in our struggles, we shape ourselves to be who we long to be, and that is the ultimate treasure. Not what we are to achieve, but what we are to be. That which we long to be decides which experiences to seek in life.

    ETA: I'm essentially encouraging you to go on fighting, and hope that in the midst of your struggle, you will discover and confirm what it has all been for. In your words, to know what is worth dying for, that one may truly live. Even if it means going down in the flames in the end, as long as it is worth going down for.

    Quote Originally Posted by Gilly
    The point of life is to walk your path. Looking at life objectively for meaning yields the art of slowing a stopwatch, which is only a reason to commit suicide.
    So true.
    Last edited by InkStrider; 11-01-2011 at 06:06 PM.

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    Quote Originally Posted by InkStrider View Post
    Life is an illusionary playground where we get to see our desires play out.
    Haha, eh?

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    Good post crazedrat. You've got a lot going on, more than many people can handle.
    IEE-Ne

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    Crazed, I've got something to say to you. I recorded it but youtube wouldn't let me convert it to a playable file.

    It sounds stupid, and breathy because my mike was too near my mouth when I said it, but no one can be braver than you.

    Here you go:

    http://www.mediafire.com/?uv62cednrpwb0hd
    She is wise
    beyond words
    beautiful within
    her soul
    brighter than
    the sun
    lovelier than
    love
    dreams larger
    than life
    and does not
    understand the
    meaning of no.
    Because everything
    through her, and in her, is
    "Yes, it will be done."


    Why I love LSEs:
    Quote Originally Posted by Abbie
    A couple years ago I was put in charge of decorating the college for Valentine's Day. I made some gorgeous, fancy decorations from construction paper, glue, scissors, and imagination. Then I covered a couple cabinets with them. But my favorite was the diagram of a human heart I put up. So romantic!

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    I am slowly realizing I can trust you all.

    Interesting phenomenon which is occuring here. I am either having a psychotic breakdown on a jungian socionics forum or I am being experimented on by government scientists, and I honestly cannot decide which it is at this point.

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    lol... then by logic it must necessarily be both.

    So I suppose it is now my duty to explain to the new population how they must understand reality. Which includes.... all the idiots on this forum.

    God.
    Fuck.
    Me.
    In
    The
    Ass

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    I must go for now. Gota pick up medicine. Please inform me if my spice is infact poisoned with cyanide, I would like to continue smoking it.

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    Let's fly now Gilly's Avatar
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    Ew dude get your hands on some real weed, that fake shit'll fuck with your head
    But, for a certainty, back then,
    We loved so many, yet hated so much,
    We hurt others and were hurt ourselves...

    Yet even then, we ran like the wind,
    Whilst our laughter echoed,
    Under cerulean skies...

  22. #22
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    For the record I can confirm that yes you are on a socionics forum, and the government is experimenting on us all. Flouride, MSG, chem trails...we're still here though so try not to freak out too bad
    But, for a certainty, back then,
    We loved so many, yet hated so much,
    We hurt others and were hurt ourselves...

    Yet even then, we ran like the wind,
    Whilst our laughter echoed,
    Under cerulean skies...

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    I'm not freaking out at all dude. I am 100 percent calm. I have never been afraid of that shit in the slightest, despite knowing it is true. But I do plan on ridding my body of flouride. Unless I am informed of a good reason not to. The only reason I was freaking out is because I realized the significance of what was happening. I have to find out what to do now. I think I know the beginning. But I am going to just chill out right now and continue with my life is what I'm getting? Continue with everything.

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    I don't have anything to say or add but I'm listening.
    Reason is a whore.

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    Alright I'm learning to just chill.
    Last edited by rat1; 11-01-2011 at 08:36 PM.

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    Does this shit really all line up in time and I'm the product of HAARP and I've been crystalized by mako, and so fourth?

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    Yeah, interesting stuff CR.
    (i)NTFS

    An ILI at rest tends to remain at rest
    and an ILI in motion is probably not an ILI

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    Quote Originally Posted by crazedrat7 View Post
    I'm not freaking out at all dude. I am 100 percent calm. I have never been afraid of that shit in the slightest, despite knowing it is true. But I do plan on ridding my body of flouride. Unless I am informed of a good reason not to. The only reason I was freaking out is because I realized the significance of what was happening. I have to find out what to do now. I think I know the beginning. But I am going to just chill out right now and continue with my life is what I'm getting? Continue with everything.
    lol that's not what I was saying...actually I'm quite adamant that something be done about it. Not currently in any position to do much myself, but let's say I'm working on it.
    But, for a certainty, back then,
    We loved so many, yet hated so much,
    We hurt others and were hurt ourselves...

    Yet even then, we ran like the wind,
    Whilst our laughter echoed,
    Under cerulean skies...

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    Quote Originally Posted by Mountain Dew View Post
    If you start worrying about religion, social problems, wide-scale mental disorders etc., things bigger than yourself, you start to feel depressed and powerless. Just focus on what you want to accomplish in your life.
    What if what someone wants to accomplish in life is answering questions about religion, social problems, and wide scale mental disorders?

    I'm not sure why everyone treats depression as if its some diseased vermin that needs to be rid from the earth. Searching for answers is an important part of figuring out who you are and what you want. Those questions aren't bigger than yourself, those questions define what people do and how they do them. When you neglect the search for answers, you end up bouncing from one moment to the next always looking unconsciously for something to satisfy the answers to those questions. It is a form of escapism, just as distancing yourself from the population in search for those answers is escapism.
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    The Mako bit is interesting though, lol, seeing as how you're about in the northern crater...
    But, for a certainty, back then,
    We loved so many, yet hated so much,
    We hurt others and were hurt ourselves...

    Yet even then, we ran like the wind,
    Whilst our laughter echoed,
    Under cerulean skies...

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    You speak everything in metaphors. It is only when you take these metaphors seriously that you are breaking down. If you can map every single metaphor each to at least one real event/cause that the majority of people can identify with (is visible, communicable via standard empirical description, and exists after occam's razor is applied), you would have found many answers that you are looking for, and many more people can help you.
    She is wise
    beyond words
    beautiful within
    her soul
    brighter than
    the sun
    lovelier than
    love
    dreams larger
    than life
    and does not
    understand the
    meaning of no.
    Because everything
    through her, and in her, is
    "Yes, it will be done."


    Why I love LSEs:
    Quote Originally Posted by Abbie
    A couple years ago I was put in charge of decorating the college for Valentine's Day. I made some gorgeous, fancy decorations from construction paper, glue, scissors, and imagination. Then I covered a couple cabinets with them. But my favorite was the diagram of a human heart I put up. So romantic!

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    I can actually see the future. What I've seen all my life is products of the past. But the meek will always become strong; it is teh law of duality. I rise from meekness into greatness. I can see the future now. The future of each one of you. I will write it down when I make my next reading.

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    I am the incarnation of God. I will tell you all your futures after I find my spice.

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    You cool with herbs too? I like basil, oregano, parsley, bay leaves, dill and a couple others.
    She is wise
    beyond words
    beautiful within
    her soul
    brighter than
    the sun
    lovelier than
    love
    dreams larger
    than life
    and does not
    understand the
    meaning of no.
    Because everything
    through her, and in her, is
    "Yes, it will be done."


    Why I love LSEs:
    Quote Originally Posted by Abbie
    A couple years ago I was put in charge of decorating the college for Valentine's Day. I made some gorgeous, fancy decorations from construction paper, glue, scissors, and imagination. Then I covered a couple cabinets with them. But my favorite was the diagram of a human heart I put up. So romantic!

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    I am communicating with machines am I not?

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    And yet I am also communicating with people.

    People are machines.

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    I will have a period of time of enjoyment and then this entire world, including myself, will be destroyed. This period of enjoyment will last until the planned harvest. I will die naturally as everyone else is planned to.

    The world are all machines. Without guidance they will die. I will not give them guidance.

    When I die, the world will end.

    I must find franz. he is the antichrist. He will be the one to kill me. You will do nothing until then. When I die, the world will end.

    Everyone I know actually wants to die. Do not fear, we will all die. This is a cult of machines which I am running at the moment. Carry on with your daily lives as you would have otherwise. I am christ. My brother Franz is the antichrist.
    Last edited by rat1; 11-02-2011 at 12:25 AM.

  38. #38
    Memory of Tomorrow Reuben's Avatar
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    That is all true, subjectively.
    She is wise
    beyond words
    beautiful within
    her soul
    brighter than
    the sun
    lovelier than
    love
    dreams larger
    than life
    and does not
    understand the
    meaning of no.
    Because everything
    through her, and in her, is
    "Yes, it will be done."


    Why I love LSEs:
    Quote Originally Posted by Abbie
    A couple years ago I was put in charge of decorating the college for Valentine's Day. I made some gorgeous, fancy decorations from construction paper, glue, scissors, and imagination. Then I covered a couple cabinets with them. But my favorite was the diagram of a human heart I put up. So romantic!

  39. #39
    Anglas's Avatar
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    1. This is cool.
    2. You are not incarnation of god.
    3. Tell about my future, I've happy to hear it from you.

  40. #40
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    Quote Originally Posted by Reuben View Post
    That is all true, subjectively.
    No it is true objectively as well. You never understood reuben, the two are the exact same thing. We are living machines on the level of 1s and 0s. Why love you asked me? You were the one man who understood how to manipulate everyone, but never in a real way. You were the ultimate manipulator of this incarnation. You had the life of the ultimate truth. Everyone else, however, suffered for it. You created all suffering by doing all the magic you have done in your entire incarnation. That is something you never realized but you will come to realize in your reincarnations as my brother, who is the antichrist. It is his job to kill me, and then to kill himself. By doing this he will experience a long reincarnation of myself, and at that point he will have a chance to kill me. You will endure a long cycle of reincarnations to experience this truth.

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