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Thread: Any enfp's with isfj/entp parents? Or any opposite parents?

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    Default Any enfp's with isfj/entp parents? Or any opposite parents?

    I was thinking about my upbringing and I think the dynamic of my parents kind of fucked me up a bit. My parents spoiled me and then when I would act spoiled, my dad would punish me for it harshly. Not recognising that it was their mistake to have spoiled me to begin with. My isfj mother would put me on a guilt trip and for years I hated myself for not helping out more around the house. I had a problem with drink a few years back and I think it was for this reason,that I tried to run away from myself. I don't blame them for it, they did the best they could. I'm just interested in figuring it all out. I wonder could it be something to do with my type being the supervisor of my mother?

    My intj sister, who is the youngest, was even more spoiled than me. My mother was still lying down with her at night til she fell asleep, up to the age of 10. Lying down with her for an hour every night, til she fell asleep. She really took the piss. But she doesn't hate herself for being spoiled. I wouldn't expect her to, she's an intj. For an enfp it's different though. We beat ourselves up for anything and everything.

    I'm wondering, you know the nature/nurture debate? And how people talk of one sibling going bad, while another sibling does well? And how people claim it can't possibly be the home environment that has caused it. Maybe it's just down to different types being affected in different ways. What could be beneficial for one type could be detrimental to another.

    What do you think?

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    Glorious Member mu4's Avatar
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    I don't know how conflict relationships would work. Are you sure it's not duality or is there some terrible problems with this relationship, or maybe your mom is EII. I've seen a EII spoil children just like the way you're mentioning.

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    Memory of Tomorrow Reuben's Avatar
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    I think past a certain age, each person of any type is singularly responsible for picking themselves up from the shit their parents left them in, and for ensuring that their future generation will not fall into the same pile of derogatory feces during their formative years.

    That being said, some people are like flowers. They need shit dumped on them before they can grow well.
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    Why I love LSEs:
    Quote Originally Posted by Abbie
    A couple years ago I was put in charge of decorating the college for Valentine's Day. I made some gorgeous, fancy decorations from construction paper, glue, scissors, and imagination. Then I covered a couple cabinets with them. But my favorite was the diagram of a human heart I put up. So romantic!

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    What is the subject of this thread exatcly no comprendé.

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    Haikus Beautiful sky's Avatar
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    I think you've typed everyone pretty much correctly. I know that INFjs and ENFps would have tried to foster your potential, try to get you to create something inventively and take a lot of personal time with you in this regard. I agree with you that inter-type relations creates environments where someone people respond to things differently and your type, the nature part of if is just as important as the nurture.

    What does it mean to foster potential? It's our Ne working. We observe you, in snap shot moments, maybe looking at things you're fascinated with and we observe your emotions and curiosity light up at these situations and we take that and incorporate other ideas and encourage you to try some of your own. And, by this method, your creative mind comes alive and you start to contribute more ideas.
    Last edited by Beautiful sky; 10-23-2011 at 05:33 AM.

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    I'm ENFp and my parents are conflictors as well. It's a terrible relationship. My mother is ESE and my father is ILI. The don't understand each other at all, they don't even try to. I wouldn't say I was spoiled, but I'd say I grew up in a neurotic environment for sure.

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    It seems odd to me to focus more on the relations your parents have and how that impacted you rather than the relatonship you had with them. I think this is a functional thing though; Curiousoul(old forum member) once said Fi egos know more about others relationships than they do their own. Similarly, he said, Fe egos focus on their own relationships and not on the interrelations of others. I find this to be 100 percent true, being Fe ego myself, I get completely caught up in my experiences with people and it submereges me, the emotions I feel about them completely affects me and I have a hard time detaching into an abstrict grid-like scheme in my head of some thrid party's interrelations.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Pauluch View Post
    I'm ENFp and my parents are conflictors as well. It's a terrible relationship. My mother is ESE and my father is ILI. The don't understand each other at all, they don't even try to. I wouldn't say I was spoiled, but I'd say I grew up in a neurotic environment for sure.
    I feel like their relationship was a poor model to observe growing up. Over the years they drifted apart emotionally and are only together now out of convenience. My dad lives a double life, my mother has come to accept that all marriages must be like that. The lack of cohesion must have an effect on kids. When you have two people who feel diminished because of a conflictor relationship, that has to have an effect. I'd love to find a whole bunch of dual couples and a bunch of conflictor couples and observe them over a long period of time and see how their respective kids turn out.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Typhon View Post
    It seems odd to me to focus more on the relations your parents have and how that impacted you rather than the relatonship you had with them. I think this is a functional thing though; Curiousoul(old forum member) once said Fi egos know more about others relationships than they do their own. Similarly, he said, Fe egos focus on their own relationships and not on the interrelations of others. I find this to be 100 percent true, being Fe ego myself, I get completely caught up in my experiences with people and it submereges me, the emotions I feel about them completely affects me and I have a hard time detaching into an abstrict grid-like scheme in my head of some thrid party's interrelations.
    That's really interesting. Your confusion was confusing me but this makes sense to me. I didn't know that about Fe.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Maritsa33 View Post
    I think you've typed everyone pretty much correctly. I know that INFjs and ENFps would have tried to foster your potential, try to get you to create something inventively and take a lot of personal time with you in this regard. I agree with you that inter-type relations creates environments where someone people respond to things differently and your type, the nature part of if is just as important as the nurture.

    What does it mean to foster potential? It's our Ne working. We observe you, in snap shot moments, maybe looking at things you're fascinated with and we observe your emotions and curiosity light up at these situations and we take that and incorporate other ideas and encourage you to try some of your own. And, by this method, your creative mind comes alive and you start to contribute more ideas.
    My daughter is infj actually. She bounces ideas off me when she is doing something creative. We have a really good relationship.

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    Memory of Tomorrow Reuben's Avatar
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    How old is she?
    She is wise
    beyond words
    beautiful within
    her soul
    brighter than
    the sun
    lovelier than
    love
    dreams larger
    than life
    and does not
    understand the
    meaning of no.
    Because everything
    through her, and in her, is
    "Yes, it will be done."


    Why I love LSEs:
    Quote Originally Posted by Abbie
    A couple years ago I was put in charge of decorating the college for Valentine's Day. I made some gorgeous, fancy decorations from construction paper, glue, scissors, and imagination. Then I covered a couple cabinets with them. But my favorite was the diagram of a human heart I put up. So romantic!

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    Reuben, shut up.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Reuben View Post
    How old is she?
    13.

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    aka Slacker Slacker's Avatar
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    delete
    Last edited by Slacker; 11-02-2011 at 07:07 PM.
    It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble. It's what you know for sure that just ain't so.
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    Haikus Beautiful sky's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Eye of the Potato View Post
    My daughter is infj actually. She bounces ideas off me when she is doing something creative. We have a really good relationship.
    What type are you?

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    Quote Originally Posted by Reuben View Post
    How old is she?
    lol

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    Quote Originally Posted by Eye of the Potato View Post
    13.
    Oh.



    But jokes aside, what kind of creative pursuits is she interested in?
    She is wise
    beyond words
    beautiful within
    her soul
    brighter than
    the sun
    lovelier than
    love
    dreams larger
    than life
    and does not
    understand the
    meaning of no.
    Because everything
    through her, and in her, is
    "Yes, it will be done."


    Why I love LSEs:
    Quote Originally Posted by Abbie
    A couple years ago I was put in charge of decorating the college for Valentine's Day. I made some gorgeous, fancy decorations from construction paper, glue, scissors, and imagination. Then I covered a couple cabinets with them. But my favorite was the diagram of a human heart I put up. So romantic!

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