The testimony of EIIs at the INFJ Facebook group (and some help from an LII) has permitted me greater insights into the conflict res types, particularly as regards their motivations.
A single pair of traits underlies the quadrachotomy, platonicism and romanticism. Each trait can be either positive or negative.
- Postively platonic people are hurt by losing people from their circle of friends. They fear social ostracism.
- Negatively platonic people are unhurt by losing friends. They do not fear ostracism.
- Postively romantic people are hurt by romantic rejection. They believe in love at first sight, and see love in intellectual terms ("love is something known").
- Negatively romantic people are unhurt by romantic rejection. Their feelings for a person ebb and flow depending on the situation. They see love as something felt, something enrapturing and consuming.
Although friendship and love for another are perceived by the F functions, type does not play a role in the perception, only in how one tries to go about realizing them.
To wit:
- Bold types have negative platonicism and positive romanticism. They tend to emphasize romance over friendship, and will break off friendships in pursuit of it.
- Civil types have negative platonicism and negative romanticism. They tend to see all relationships as matters of convenience.
- Negotiator types have positive platonicism and negative romanticism. They value friendship very deeply, but tend to see romance as a commodity.
- Appeasing types have positive platonicism and positive romanticism. They take all of their relationships, conjugal and platonic very, very seriously.
Emotional pain constrains a person's responses to conflict. Bold types and civil types alike de-emphasize popularity, and this allows them to challenge the status quo. Negotiator types and appeasing types feel pain at the perception of emotional distance, and are largely constrained to the norms of their culture.