How did you meet your Dual?

[Clumsy]

Assuming you have, this can apply to a significant other, just a friend, etc.

Did you know about Socionics when you met them?

How long did the "Stages of Duality" take to progress?

[Nico1e]

I met my IEE female best friend when we were in gifted class in sixth grade. I've told this story before. I figured out that she was an ENFP many years ago when I first learned about the Myers-Briggs, so that was before I knew socionics.

Basically, she was weird in a lot of ways, and one weird thing about her was the way she laughed. She had this loud, dorky, barking-seal laugh, just like a stereotypical geek. So we were in class together and she started laughing about something, and I started laughing at the way she was laughing, and she started laughing because I was laughing, so we sat there laughing at each other while the rest of the class got quiet and stared at us like we were crazy. After that, we would pretty much start laughing about the same things, and we would say stuff to each other to make ourselves laugh more.

So I'm not sure how long the 'stages of duality' lasted. But I knew that this person was the most interesting person I had ever met in my entire life, and she somehow magically knew how to say exactly the right thing at the right time. The only bad thing about our relationship was the fact that she was born with cerebral palsy, and so she had bad physical coordination, and didn't like to do things outdoors. We would have had more fun together outdoors, but instead all we ever did was talk, which was sort of limiting for me, but even so it was the best friendship I ever had, and we were friends for eleven years.

She was somehow always interested in what I had to say, almost always, unless something really bad was going on in her own life. We always had things to say to each other and we would talk on the phone all day long if we weren't together. I can't even begin to think of having that much to say to anyone else. It was endless. I have no idea where it all came from. She would tell me these long and complicated stories, and I would start thinking of a thousand related tangents that I wanted to say, which were inspired by what she was saying, and I would painstakingly talk about each and every tangent until they were all completely done, except that while I was doing that, it would inspire her to talk about more tangents. I'd have to keep a piece of paper and write things down so I would remember that I wanted to tell her this or that, and sometimes, by the time I got to it, it would seem anticlimactic and unimportant but I would mention it anyway. But she would respond as though it wasn't anticlimactic and unimportant, and it would sometimes spawn a whole new thread of discussion.

We separated for a variety of reasons, mostly because I didn't like the person she was choosing as her husband, and she cut off contact with me, and also with all of her family, her sister, her grandmother, and other people she used to know, and refused to talk to any of them anymore.

But that was my first experience with duality and that was the reason why I was convinced that socionics was real, when I first learned about it.

I knew after that that I wanted to meet a guy who would be able to talk to me the same way. However, when you're not in school, it's much harder to meet a variety of types of people, and I've been extremely antisocial for other reasons. Anyway, it was a learning experience, and I recognized what types of relationships would be better or worse for me, based on my experience with her.

[Radio]

We were in the same class in high-school and we naturally tended towards one another. Well, maybe not so much me because I was always rather distant in communication, but he would approach me and include me in things and I appreciated that. The LSE's best friend was another LSE and I made good friends with him also.

Did you know about Socionics when you met them?

No.

How long did the "Stages of Duality" take to progress?

Seriously, this is limerence, not duality.

[Lotus]

disclaimer: i'm torn between istj and isfj so i'm going to assume i'm istj for this thread because i want to reply and i don't know any entjs atm.

i met my ni-enfj roommate during my "contemporary art practices for first yr students" class which is this bullshit class they have first yr art students take at my school. we met on the very first day of class, while walking as a group to the The_First_Church_of_Christ,_Scientist to walk through the stained glass globe. we were discussing how boring this was and so i gave her 3 bars of xanax and she gave me a pack of cigarettes. then our class took the subway to MIT to look at architecture and we got lost from the group, walked from cambridge to boston, went to a sex shop to help pick her out a vibrator, and then stole some hats, belts, and trinkets from urban outfitters. then we walked to her apartment and now we're best-friends and roommates a year later.

[EyeSeeCold]

Female SEE #1: Sister

Female SEE #2: Friend
Back in highschool, I hit(ted?) on her during lunch break, after seeing her for the second time, out of chance. First time I saw her I couldn't take my eyes away. After that, I decided to get to know her, so I found a friend who knew her and through that person we started hanging out. Got up to the phone number, but it gets complicated and personal after that.

Female SEE #3: Classmate
I never noticed her at first, the previous year, but the next, we sat near each other and eventually started talking. After a few weeks/months we became good friends who looked out for each other.


There are probably others, but I'm not confident in the types. Oh and I didn't know about Socionics until after all these.

[MisterNi]

I met my IEE female best friend when we were in gifted class in sixth grade. I've told this story before. I figured out that she was an ENFP many years ago when I first learned about the Myers-Briggs, so that was before I knew socionics.

Basically, she was weird in a lot of ways, and one weird thing about her was the way she laughed. She had this loud, dorky, barking-seal laugh, just like a stereotypical geek. So we were in class together and she started laughing about something, and I started laughing at the way she was laughing, and she started laughing because I was laughing, so we sat there laughing at each other while the rest of the class got quiet and stared at us like we were crazy. After that, we would pretty much start laughing about the same things, and we would say stuff to each other to make ourselves laugh more.

So I'm not sure how long the 'stages of duality' lasted. But I knew that this person was the most interesting person I had ever met in my entire life, and she somehow magically knew how to say exactly the right thing at the right time. The only bad thing about our relationship was the fact that she was born with cerebral palsy, and so she had bad physical coordination, and didn't like to do things outdoors. We would have had more fun together outdoors, but instead all we ever did was talk, which was sort of limiting for me, but even so it was the best friendship I ever had, and we were friends for eleven years.

She was somehow always interested in what I had to say, almost always, unless something really bad was going on in her own life. We always had things to say to each other and we would talk on the phone all day long if we weren't together. I can't even begin to think of having that much to say to anyone else. It was endless. I have no idea where it all came from. She would tell me these long and complicated stories, and I would start thinking of a thousand related tangents that I wanted to say, which were inspired by what she was saying, and I would painstakingly talk about each and every tangent until they were all completely done, except that while I was doing that, it would inspire her to talk about more tangents. I'd have to keep a piece of paper and write things down so I would remember that I wanted to tell her this or that, and sometimes, by the time I got to it, it would seem anticlimactic and unimportant but I would mention it anyway. But she would respond as though it wasn't anticlimactic and unimportant, and it would sometimes spawn a whole new thread of discussion.

Yes, my duality experience was very similar. It's like you could be talking about absolutely nothing of consequence and your dual would be interested in it and have relevant things to add to the conversation.

We separated for a variety of reasons, mostly because I didn't like the person she was choosing as her husband, and she cut off contact with me, and also with all of her family, her sister, her grandmother, and other people she used to know, and refused to talk to any of them anymore.

Well, you should be looking for a dude IEE anyway.

But that was my first experience with duality and that was the reason why I was convinced that socionics was real, when I first learned about it.

Yes! My first experience with duality was long before I even knew Socionics was a gleam in Augusta Aushura's eye.

I knew after that that I wanted to meet a guy who would be able to talk to me the same way. However, when you're not in school, it's much harder to meet a variety of types of people, and I've been extremely antisocial for other reasons. Anyway, it was a learning experience, and I recognized what types of relationships would be better or worse for me, based on my experience with her.

Well, IEE and intuitives like learning about MBTI, Socionics, the Enneagram, astrology, anything abstract and esoteric in general so hanging out at t16types or any other typology forums is a great way to meet IEE.

[FDG]

# ESI friend: we lived in the same neighborhood. I started our friendship directly, I remember when we were 8 yo I said something like "I want to be friends with you", and we hung out for 10-12 years afterwards. It was a great relationship, the misunderstandings were friendly and joke-y in nature. Now we have drifted apart because he is really religious and rather unmotivated about life (because he's really rich), so we do different stuff. But when we get together, it's great.

# ESI girlfriend: we met at school, I hit on her and she agreed to go out with me. She was / is crazy, has BPD, so our relationship wasn't that good. Still, we really felt good when we hung out with each other, and she was kinda hot and really sexual.

# ESI current girlfriend: we met at university, we were both contributing to the uni's newspaper. I stole her from a previous ILI-semi-boyfriend of sorts. She is more sane than the previous ESI girlfriend and we have a great sexual and mental compatibility, so the relationship still stands after 4 years 1/4th. Now she is living in a different city a bit far away (1hr plane), but we have some plans for the future.

[DirectorAbbie]

I've met a couple duals at school. Nice people. One was a friend, but seemed rather immature.
The first dual I met did singing with the little kids at my church. I always liked her.
I got a pen pal through a magazine and she turned out to be my dual.
I've met a couple immature duals at the library.
I've met a few more older ones at church.
I've met some duals here.
Curious about any?

[1981slater]

I am always quoting movie lines. Only SEIs laugh
"Use the force, Luke" and such

[Jenna]

#1 - when I was in high school, there was a McDonalds across the street where most students went for lunch, because it was convenient. One random day I forgot money for lunch so my EIE best friend dared me to ask the most attractive person there for a few dollars. So that's how I met him - then after that, I found out how hilarious he was. He went on for about 30 minutes about how Ronald McDonald is secretly after him, and how he got fired from his job at the toy store because he was riding around on Power Wheels. We started dating, eventually broke up, but I'm not going into all of that lol.

#2 - close friend of my LSI sister. Got along immediately.

#3 - Husband of #2, but he's a serial cheater

Can't think of anymore

[Lotus]

He then proceeds to stalk me the whole night, motioning me to come out. I shake my head no & laugh at him.

my mental image of this is just adorable.... but only because i can tell you must've totally liked it ahaha

[MisterNi]

Starfall, your story is both humorous and gives other "creepers" hope.

[Nico1e]

I've met a couple duals at school. Nice people. One was a friend, but seemed rather immature.
The first dual I met did singing with the little kids at my church. I always liked her.
I got a pen pal through a magazine and she turned out to be my dual.
I've met a couple immature duals at the library.
I've met a few more older ones at church.
I've met some duals here.
Curious about any?

Your post is triangular. It narrows down at the bottom. It almost looks like you wrote a prose poem, on purpose.

[DirectorAbbie]

Your post is triangular. It narrows down at the bottom. It almost looks like you wrote a prose poem, on purpose.

Actually I rearranged it after typing everything so it would look more orderly.

[Korpsy Knievel]

My best buddy and I met long ago at the intersection of death metal and drugs.

[717495]

He introduced himself to me in 3rd grade and we became best friends, and have been friends ever since. Si-LSE, and we shared the most hilarious times in my life together, which probably comprised half of the times I've ever laughed. He followed me to my schools back then because I wanted to be closer to my 1st grade best friend who is LSI. The LSE moved away some time ago. We randomly call one another and say random things and share funny ideas.

I think I'm mostly too introverted to have friends, but I've managed to keep those couple of them close ever since we've met. It's probably just by natural chance of two people being very loyal.

[jessica129]

Starfall, you got back together?

[Suz]

the first dual I met was when we were assigned to work together, the first time was for like 2 weeks but like off and on because we were each doing our own thing mostly (once he had to call me for help though). Then we were assigned together again about 8 months later for like 3 weeks, but this time it was a 100% together sort of thing. He's the kind of guy i wouldn't really choose to be friends with or hang out with as we have different sorts of leisure activities and he has a reputation for being somewhat of a party boy. He liked to go drinking, and seemed like he was sort of a no-girl's man in that he would go after much younger girls just to get laid. So tbh initially, (after meeting him on that first assignment), I actually tried to keep my distance from him even though i thought he was a really nice guy, and really good looking, and maybe even a little charming. When we worked together the second time, I went into it not really knowing how it was going to be, or what kind of work he was going to do, but i was joking around that he was going to be my "eye-candy" at least.

So the special thing was that he turned out to be EXACTLY the kind of worker i wanted him to be and more (i was in charge of him but we ended up being more of a 50-50 sort of team) without me even needing to tell him what my expectations were. He handled everything i was bad at, with pleasure and ease. I guess I handled what he was bad at too (I dont know though, cause he never gave me feedback). We worked together like a well-oiled machine, just basically mind-reading what each other needed. The dynamic was so smooth, so comfortable. My life on that really tough service was easier than on any other service i'd been on (with a few exceptions), and i realized it's because he was sort of taking care of me in a way, both literally, and supportively speaking. We gave each other support actually, like when he was worried that he said something egregious, when the woman in charge of both of us kept making flirty comments and he flirted back (just kidding around) and then she got in trouble. The dual kept bringing it up even months later and I kept reassuring him. anyway, i could keep going on and on about this, but this sort of gives you an idea of what it was like. I didn't know socionics until like 4 months after that 2nd stint with him, but i did find socionics because of that incredibly unique dynamic that i'd never experienced with anyone before (to my knowledge).

I've since met 2 SLIs, one at work but he seemed inaccessible, and we dont really work closely most of the time. Nevertheless, it does always feel comforting whenever he does stop by to help me out or something. The other one, I met at the gym . VI'd him (he's a dead ringer for the first SLI from a distance!), and after gathering my courage (and getting some signals from him that he might be interested in talking to me), I introduced myself and started talking to him, because how else would i confirm my VI, and get to know what kind of guy this is. So turns out, he is DEFINITELY SiTe, and we have a lot more in common than the first SLI, live sort of a more similar lifestyle, etc. Over the past couple months of talking to him off and on at the gym, I've really grown to like and admire him a lot and i can definitely see potential for a relationship there. Conversation is sometimes awkward, mostly because i've been the one mostly thinking of what to ask him, but he has seemed to be a very willing participant in the conversations and in the development of this friendship (so far), and seems to roll with all the awkward moments as well as moments of my ridiculous behavior when i start overanalyzing and overreacting. Establishing a relationship with him has been a really slow process though. Whenever i try to move things further a bit, if i am a bit too overzealous, he seems to retreat. So I have to be cautious. I think we might currently be in the "run-in" period right now that is mentioned in the stages of duality article (i think?).

[Codie]

-My rival in secondary school (uk) I met her when I was 12, she was a few years above me. On the first day of school I got dared by some yr 11's to tell a boy that I fancied him, I did. A few days later me & my SEI friend were in the playground, we started talking to her and her best friend. We told them that I liked a boy.. surprise, it was her boyfriend! went to the cafeteria & she found him and dumped him. Then she came back to me and started putting pressure on me to go up and talk to him, told me how she'd been together with him since she was 12 and how she dumped him for me.. I didn't ask her to! I was too nervous and then the bell rang & she held a grunge on me for that.
She got a chance to get one up on me later on in the year. I was hanging out in the girls toilet with my LSI friend who smoked, I didn't. She hungout with her friends smoking in there a lot. She came up to us, we started hanging out, and she wanted to teach me how to smoke. The first time I tried I couldn't inhale an I started coughing, she said "aww so sweet". When I was walking home at the end of the week she came up to me, gave me a hug and slipped something into my pocket. aargh took it out at home and it was soil, in a little plastic bag to look like weed or something...she must have thought I was naive. I bunked the last day of term & then we broke up for 2weeks in which I had 0 contact with the outside world.
When I came everyone was telling me there was this girl looking for me. I went and spoke to her. She'd been going mad trying to find me, she though I was hiding from her. She made up some story about the soil being some rare substance that you smoke in a pipe and that she owed her dealer money. So either "pay me ten by tomorrow or we'll have beef." I payed her, I'm not a coward but I had seen her brake another girls nose. Plus I didn't want to embarrass and myself and get all dishevelled infront of the whole school either. She made friends with a few people I hung out with & tried to talk to me casually a few times after, I only gave her one word answers and avoided her as much as I could. no hard feelings. teenage times.

-Last year I started work at a CD store and where I caught the bus there was a video rental place, on the first day after work I looked over my shoulder & locked eye contact with this woman. She used to come out when I got off work, smoke a cigarette and look at me. I got up the courage to go speak to her. I wasn't quite myself at the time but we hit it off and it was so comfortable and exiting just being with her.

-My cousin Olivia (I think... shes only 3) terrrorrr but so sweet. She had this really stern frown when she was a baby. Her parents EIE & LSI just moved over here, so I'm still getting to know her.

[Reuben]

My ex-girlfriend and I did some naughty things in public places, but then again we weren't duals I think, and we never went too far.

[Nowisthetime]

One example was 2 years ago when I just had found Socionics and was beginning to learn it. I went on a blind date. Met the girl at a shopping mall and then we went for a coffee. She talked a lot, at some point I started to suspect that she might be an ENTP. I also thought that there was some kind of unusual smothness in our communication. Like there was a big open field between us that we could fill with whatever we liked. Potential. I also thought that she is not that interesting, but WE are. That was a new perspecitve. Then we went to a botanical garden, she liked that. We met once more after that, then I lost contact with her. After this I realized that socionics has potential, and that I should learn some more.

[Beautiful sky]

Been around them all of my life and I've seen throughout my life that I'm the only one patient and prescient enough to handle them. I can stand their neurotic behaviors with no stress and we just get along; I like my talkative duals and I really like that they absorb my emotions in such a way to turn it into humor so I don't linger in my world of empathy. We both help each other live in the perfect reality we envision for ourselves, no matter what sex the other person is. I met my dual BF on a dating site while trying to help a friend date. I wasn't looking for anyone and he found me; he's very practical and said, "you were attractive and intelligent, that's why I decided to ask you out." He got a lot more than what he was asking for but he's realized that duality is a really good fit.

[zelder]

Assuming you have, this can apply to a significant other, just a friend, etc.

Did you know about Socionics when you met them?

How long did the "Stages of Duality" take to progress?

I'm married to a dual and our 10-year anniversary is coming up. I first met her (Marjorie) on a date with a lot of other people, she was my friends date. I was on a blind date. We went on several outings together with her and my friend together and me with the other girl. As we contined to go out I could tell she was more interested in me than she was in him. I also had another friend who had been telling me about a girl in his english class that he was interested in. I eventually came to the realization that it was Marjorie. I told him I knew her and that we could go visit her. We went on a Sunday evening and it turned out that she and I did all the talking.

Eventually both my friends gave up and her and I moved in to take her. The rest is history.

[rafaeli]

i work with an SLE. he's got a position up higher than me. we don't talk to each other. i find him kinda scary. but i think he's hot, i LOVE his Se eyes because whenever we make eye contact, i always feel like he's undressing me....
he's new, so at first everyone went on and on about how he did this and that and compared him to the person who had his job before him but i was but i was like "ehhh he seems fine to me...."
i wasn't into him because i kind of half heartedly bought into the whole secret hate campaign against him lol this may be irrelevant but this is our first conversation: (you have to realize the tone of voices. the SLE has this thundering forceful voice and me, the IEI has this calm quiet voice)
IEI (me) - *waits impatiently while some talkative ExxJ woman practically chats up a storm, she leaves. i walk into his room.* HI. can i talk to you about something?
SLE - can't. i'm late for a meeting.
IEI - oh ok. *starts to walk away*
SLE - wait! wait!
IEI - *turns around*
SLE - what are you gonna talk to me about?
IEI - *blabbers really fast about something*
SLE - alright. awesome. come back in an hour.
IEI - ok. cool.
in the end. i never went back, i felt like i would be bothering him. so instead i ditched and left work early so i could sneak onto a rooftop and smoke weed with my ENTp misfit guy friend the ENTp got kicked out of school for getting his fourth minor because he was caught drinking on a dry campus.
besides i think this is where the erotic role comes in, since IEI is known as the challenger and the SLE is known as the conquerer. so now if he wants to have that conversation he can come and find me cuz i don't feel like going to him a second time.

[Satan]

rafaeli, that seems like infantile behaviour on your part

[Atlast]

Seriously, this is limerence, not duality.

Why, that condition came to my mind right away too. Good job, you sexually educated sophisticate, you. But keep in mind - that condition can be kick started at any time during a relationship, it is not just a temporary starting condition! Damn fine that it can be, too

Starfall, your story is both humorous and gives other "creepers" hope.

If anything, that was a story of terrible failure lol. But it does show that confidence and drunkenness go a little further than you would expect.

Anyway, if I'm ILE I met my dual through friendly acquaintances. Unfortunately, he's same sex, so no super sexy romance story. Just vidya games, very engaging intellectual discussion/debate with cool mutually involving and beneficial life plans tossed in there (I would be inclined to call that the Ne of the conversation, haha ), along with those ultra pleasurable happy nights.

[DirectorAbbie]

i LOVE his Se eyes because whenever we make eye contact, i always feel like he's undressing me....

IEIs are weirder than I thought.

[Reuben]

i LOVE his Se eyes because whenever we make eye contact, i always feel like he's undressing me....

What makes you think he's SLE, and you're IEI?

Like mercutio says, that sounds more infantile than victim. Victims will goad, will poke, will negg just to get the attention of the SLE. Also, the SLE will usually initiate. Chances are, you're Alpha NT or delta NF.

If you're delta NF, then come to stickam. I'll undress you with my sexy spectacles.

[Ver]

I met my SLI girlfriend because she was friends with my ESI girlfriend. Before we met, I was afraid of her and she thought I was too crazy and loud. In reality we found out we really got on well, we shared a room for a year and never ever had a quarell. It's funny because I'm not loud at all (she thought I was like my probably ESFj friend) and she is nothing to be afraid of .

[MisterNi]

That's great if it's how you naturally want to act, but if you're just doing that because you think that socionics says you should, don't. Socionics is supposed to describe how people naturally interact, so if you're sure you're duals, your natural instincts will always work better than whatever you think socionics says, since it's just a simplified approximation of reality.

Yes, exactly. Duality is supposed to be the most comfortable relationship from a psychological standpoint. Meaning your mannerisms, behavior and even some physical attributes are readily accepted and appreciated by your counterpart.

On the other hand, if you want to seduce an LIE, then socionics can also help you pretend to be an ESI, but that's a whole separate matter...

If you like a person enough it's pretty easy to toss away the intertype relations and just go for it. Putting on a different type mask could work but that would take a lot of effort.

[Slacker]

I met my husband at a party. He was drunk.

[Slacker]

Actually, I think we were both drunk. It's been a while and the details are fuzzy.

[Suz]

I met my husband at a party. He was drunk.

I guess that's the only way to catch an SLI with their "walls" down.

[Atlast]

I guess that's the only way to catch an SLI with their "walls" down.

Yeah uh, if you're meeting them for the first time? You don't just say hello and jump right into all the rewards that come from duality/awesome relationship

[InkStrider]

Assuming you have, this can apply to a significant other, just a friend, etc.

Did you know about Socionics when you met them?

How long did the "Stages of Duality" take to progress?

Lived with a dual since I was born, so before socionics. This is probably the main reason why I am the way I am.

[Kalinoche buenanoche]

if i am ESI then i haven't typed down any LIEs yet.I mean I probably have but they are peers so they look young ,prone to peer-pressure and well dorky, in general.I think i have met a couple of older LIEs and they seem pretty cool individuals.

[squark]

Actually, I think we were both drunk. It's been a while and the details are fuzzy.

LOL.

[Red Villain]

I met my dual once. I hated her guts.

[Beautiful sky]

I spanked him, grabbed him and took him to my cave.

(Honestly, it was the other way around.)

[Galen]

Never