Social vs Sexual Instincts

[sar]

I need help determining this. Any input would be greatly appreciated. (btw, I am Fe-IEI probably 4w5 or balanced)

My case: I am extremely ambitious, have high expectations for myself and big dreams/goals, I think a lot about becoming "known" for something I really care about and becoming truly the best at it, I didn't really hang out with popular kids in high school though I was aware of who the popular kids were, I want to be admired and provoke people and get them talking, I always play devil's advocate...ALWAYS, I'm of the humble opinion that society had raped the dreams of younger folk, I have had intense relationships with certain people, particualrly when I was younger...I had like 3-4 best friends and when they were my best friend I didn't care much at all about anyone else but them, I cried a for weeks when they informed I wouldn't be in they're classes or they would be moving, etc. There have been a couple of intensely good friends that I have had that I was/am EXTREMELY envious of, I haven't had a lot of sexual relationships with people, but the ones I have had have left me pretty heartbroken, last year I felt like the relationship I was in disoriented me entirely as a person...I know that sounds weird but it's like I lost myself when I was in it, now I'm a little bit more skeptical of people and have, at times, trouble letting them into my life like I used to when I was younger...I'm scared it will make me vulnerable or "distract me" from accomplishing other things, Oh and I talk to myself in the shower (pretending I'm talking to other people) ALL OF THE TIME, I also have pretend arguments with myself as if debating with some opponent ALL OF THE TIME....Also, any time I have a stimulating discussuion with someone else or watch a great movie or hear a great song...it's like a rush of adrenaline gets pumped in my viens and I'm like "fuck yeah! THAT'S THE GOOD STUFF!" (punches wall, snorts cocaine, falls to one knee, starts bleeding, dies...)...I also have been fond of putting up a "tough guy" act even though inside I'm as cuddly as a teddy...sort of. I also love being the center of attention when I'm in small groups and can seem really extroverted...but once there are more than 3-4 people...I gotta get the fuck out of there. As far as the self-pres aspects of myself.......I don't need to eat, fuck that shit.

Any ideas on what I might be?

[Korpsy Knievel]

A late adolescent.

[sar]

well...yeah.

[sar]

basically, i can't seem to figure out the core differences b/w a sexual type or a social type...(within myself)...and it sucks

[redbaron]

you sound more like a 4w3. and probably sx>so.

[sar]

"you sound more like a 4w3. and probably sx>so. "

I've HIGHLY considered this...you could very well be right. thanks for your input

[silke]

here's a chart for instinctual subtypes that I find useful: http://www.enneagram.net/subtypeschart.html - your first instinct would be something that preoccupies you regularly, second one is, well, secondary - you can just compare the middle and last columns on that chart to see which one seems more of an important need for you

also I get this vibe that you're 3w4 rather than 4w3

[sar]

thanks for the link! i'm definitely a 4 though. I'm 100 percent positive. the only confusing thing to me is w3 or w5 and the stackings..

[anndelise]

I second the thanks for the link. I learned lotsa new.

[sar]

im also considering sx/sp...im a little fuzzy on what sp actually means...ive seen it be described as being obsessed with your body, safety, money etc...but i feel im the complete opposite in that respect...

[Absurd]

Definitely sx primary for me according to this.

[redbaron]

that chart is perfect and explains it very well.

[sar]

thanks for the help guys. After reading some of these responses, thinking a bit, and ESPECIALLY after reading the best and most descriptive thing ive seen on the web on subtypes (http://www.enneagramcentral.com/Enne...20Intimate.htm ) i am fairly certain that i am in fact an sx type

[Reuben]

 

[sex regularly preoccupies me, and I'm constantly on the lookout for men-eaters hoping to steal my precious virginity -> semen-preserving.

sx/sp seems like it.

sexual orifices hardly concern me, if there aren't enough, I'll make my own. so... not so at all.

[Creepy-pokeball]

The instincts are based on greatest to least. The third stacking is implicit, which should give you a clue to what you your primary and auxillary stackings are. For example, my 3rd unspoken is SO, which tells a lot of what to expect for the first two.

In essence, the instincts deal with sense of self and security. In hierarchy of self vs. others, Sp, self-preservation, refers to basic physical and pshcological needs being met. If they are unmet, Sp types become agitated and wall off. It is highly intrapersonal. Sx, sexual, refers to one on one intensity. When it is unmet, it often heightens. Its is highly interpersonal. So, social, refers to group meaning. It is highly macro-personal. I am not specifically as familiar with it as the other two. This is the easiest way to understand their meaning, and how they relate to reality, one's self, and other people. Sp's are pretty easy to spot among the three. They often have a love it or leave it attitude when it comes to others, which can be both bad or good, depending on the scenario.

I hope that helps.

[silke]

this file also has a nice chart that explains instincts as applied to enneagram types on pg 21-23: http://www.enneagramdimensions.net/a...f_subtypes.pdf

[Beautiful sky]

 

[sex regularly preoccupies me, and I'm constantly on the lookout for men-eaters hoping to steal my precious virginity -> semen-preserving.

sx/sp seems like it.

sexual orifices hardly concern me, if there aren't enough, I'll make my own. so... not so at all.

ROFL

[Creepy-pokeball]

Sx primaries are often very intense 1 on 1. So and Sp, on the other hand, often are not, but in different ways. In a way, they both deflect the intensity if it is too much, but in differing ways, of course. The term sexual is both appropriate and unfortunate. It implies the wrong conclusion, yet the source of the implication is justified -- they desire one on one intensity, whether in short bursts or of considerble length. I have been told, as an Sp primary, that it is very annoying to Sx primaries that Sp types will essentially wall everyone out until they feel/think that the intrusion towards their basic personal needs are satisfied. So types, I have noticed, are more evasive with Sx types if they feel that the connection is too strong, inappropriate, or hindering their "otherly" needs.

It is easiest to think of Sx, Sp, and So as basic needs on the level, in respective order, of one on one, self, and one among others. Enneagram, after all, has a lot to do how a person copes to survive in regard to both others and environment, whether healthy or unhealthy. The stackings simply give a hierarchy of where these needs are placed. I am an Sp/Sx, which implies that I value So least, but it does not imply that it is not there. Inversely, a way to tell which is dominant is to know what disturbs that person. In an Sp primary, they will be disturbed by an Sx's "digging" and an So's vagueness. An Sx, primary, in the same respect, will be disturbed by an Sp's ease at which they are willing to stonewall or an So's lack of importance for what the Sx is attempting to convey. When all 3 are "stacked", the game changes; an so/sx will react differently to the same stimulus than an sx/so would. However, they both should react similarly to sp. Rinse and repeat for all other stackings...