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Thread: How many relations are "Good"?

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    Default How many relations are "Good"?

    In your opinion, how many of the 16 relations tend to be "Great", "Good", "Mediocre", or just "Awful"? You can specify which ones if you want to, I suppose.

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    All 16 can be good if you understand and adjust.
    Otherwise, good is relative and the best you could do is make a "better" list.

    Like same quadra relatively better, opposite quadra relatively worse, other quadra relatively MEDIUM STYLE.
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    very good point. "good" is indeed relative. thanks

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    Quote Originally Posted by Crispy View Post
    All 16 can be good if you understand and adjust.
    Otherwise, good is relative and the best you could do is make a "better" list.

    Like same quadra relatively better, opposite quadra relatively worse, other quadra relatively MEDIUM STYLE.
    That's exactly what i was gonna say. Can also depend on existing psychological distance between the two people, e.g. conflictors or supervisors/ees that can function distantly might think of each other fondly (or not), but when forced to work together closely for a prolonged period might start butting heads and misunderstanding each other.. Alternatively, duals who are at a considerable psychological distance might either be indifferent to each other or even dislike each other for whatever reason (or not ).

    Also all sorts of non-type-related factors can influence intertype interactions.
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    Quote Originally Posted by gooey View Post
    In your opinion, how many of the 16 relations tend to be "Great", "Good", "Mediocre", or just "Awful"? You can specify which ones if you want to, I suppose.
    This is IMO:

    people who have your dual seeking or ha function as one of their ego functions, are most easy and sincere to start a romantic relationship with. The rest is better suited for friendship.

    But in general it are simply the quadra relationships that are most rewarding. You feel most at home with those people, most comfortable. You can be yourself easy, and get accepted. You don't have akward moments. You become a better version of yourself when you are with them.

    It's really worth pursueing quadra relationships.

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    Breaking stereotypes Suz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jarno View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by gooey View Post
    In your opinion, how many of the 16 relations tend to be "Great", "Good", "Mediocre", or just "Awful"? You can specify which ones if you want to, I suppose.
    This is IMO:

    people who have your dual seeking or ha function as one of their ego functions, are most easy and sincere to start a romantic relationship with. The rest is better suited for friendship.

    But in general it are simply the quadra relationships that are most rewarding. You feel most at home with those people, most comfortable. You can be yourself easy, and get accepted. You don't have akward moments. You become a better version of yourself when you are with them.

    It's really worth pursueing quadra relationships.
    I totally agree.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jarno View Post

    This is IMO:

    people who have your dual seeking or ha function as one of their ego functions, are most easy and sincere to start a romantic relationship with. The rest is better suited for friendship.
    So let's see, for me that would be: SLI, LSE, ESE, SEI, ILI, and LIE. Yeah, I can go for that. Except for the LIE; I think I'd have the hardest time getting along with them out of the above list, romantic or friendship-wise.
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    Within each type I can remember individuals with whom I got along well and those with whom we didn't get along at all. Therefore I find it meaningless to try to rank relations in this way and much prefer to go by case-by-case basis.

    Here is a website that roughly ranks relations as attractive/repulsive: http://socionicsdemystified.wordpres...ype-relations/

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    Quote Originally Posted by siuntal View Post
    Within each type I can remember individuals with whom I got along well and those with whom we didn't get along at all. Therefore I find it meaningless to try to rank relations in this way and much prefer to go by case-by-case basis.

    Here is a website that roughly ranks relations as attractive/repulsive: http://socionicsdemystified.wordpres...ype-relations/
    I more or less agree except two things; Im not sure why extinguishment and quasi-identical are attractive, and why mirror and identity are repulsive.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Typhon View Post
    I more or less agree except two things; Im not sure why extinguishment and quasi-identical are attractive, and why mirror and identity are repulsive.
    Mirror and identity are probably initially repulsive due to very similar ways of thinking with their ego yet being completely devoid in receiving anything for their mobilizing and hidden agenda.

    On the other hand, contrary and quasi are attractive because opposing quadra conflict is blown out of proportion and your contrary and quasi can at least fulfill your DS or HA though their role and polr.

    That's how it should play out using Model A. However, model A is seriously deficient if you can have an attractive relation with a contrary or quasi which is why I think either the degree of intra and opposing quadra relations needs to be revised or scrapped altogether.

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    I think that mirror and idenentity are more repulsive then quasi identity and contrary are attarctive. But it all depends on how you define these terms repulsive and attarctive; is it the idea or the relation that is repulsive or attatractive or its actual experience?

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    Quote Originally Posted by Typhon View Post
    I think that mirror and idenentity are more repulsive then quasi identity and contrary are attarctive. But it all depends on how you define these terms repulsive and attarctive; is it the idea or the relation that is repulsive or attatractive or its actual experience?
    The term "repulsive" most likely means that the relational pair tend to "repel" each other like opposing/opposite forces, not that the two find each other to be "disgusting".

    When I interact with LII and ILE on a one-to-one basis, I find that we tend to have differing ideas and one person has to end up going along with the other or else we'll just end up "repulsing" each other and go our separate ways. Relationship-wise, when it's determined who'll do the leading and who'll do the following, your mirror and identical can be a fantastic relationship.

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    From: http://socionics.us/theory/relationships.shtml

    information based
    Two statics or two dynamics. Functions of each partner's mental loop correspond to those of other partner's mental loop, and likewise for vital loop.
    More interchange of conscious, verbalizable information than subconscious impact. Termed "relations of repulsion" by Augusta.


    energy based
    One static and one dynamic. Functions of one partner's mental loop correspond to functions of other partner's vital loop. More subconscious impact than exchange of verbalizable information. Termed "relations of attraction" by Augusta.

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    Certain types of relationships can be good for all types.

    Long term intimate relationships at a close psychological distance is probably going to be unhealthy due to information conflict for all but types within your quadra, benefit relations and maybe business or illusion. Althrough for out of quadra relationships, there probably needs to some loss of intimacy and closeness in order to prevent major conflicts. Most people only need one or two relationships that are going to be this close, we're not people with the time for multiple super close, super attention heavy relationships.

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    Quote Originally Posted by hkkmr View Post
    Long term intimate relationships at a close psychological distance is probably going to be unhealthy due to information conflict for all but types within your quadra, benefit relations and maybe business or illusion. Althrough for out of quadra relationships, there probably needs to some loss of intimacy and closeness in order to prevent major conflicts. Most people only need one or two relationships that are going to be this close, we're not people with the time for multiple super close, super attention heavy relationships.
    Why benefit? Just curious to know your reasoning.

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    Quote Originally Posted by werlkjlakjeraoiaeswroiaer View Post
    Why benefit? Just curious to know your reasoning.
    Benefit can work I think for people who are different in social stature and if the beneficiary makes themselves secondary to the benefactor.

    The benefactor will need a well developed role function and be able to deal with the beneficiary as a pseudo-dual. The benefactor has 2nd and 3rd function that are going to be dual to the beneficiary. Not criticizing the beneficiary's POLR and getting the dual seeking function will be something the benefactor has to get from another source most likely unless the beneficiary has experience the Polr function in a small area which they can provide the benefactor without stress.

    I don't think it can work the other way around where the beneficiary wants to be in a superior or even equal position.

    Another relationship that may work but more or less will be very difficult is supervision. Also I'm going to note these are relationships that I view can get better over time as people develop coping skills related to their weak functions. I think conflicting quadra relationships disintergrate, especially conflict and quasi identity. I'm not sure about semi-dual and comparative but I think these will disintergrate over time.

    The thing about business and illusion relationships is rarely is there any major conflict, but there is also a boredom and restlessness that can sets in.

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    It can happen in a 'shipwrecked on a desert island' situation. I almost never meet any Ne types where I work, but I have a crush on a beneficiary (granted, I'm not acting on it, it's a passive crush, but still), simply because that's all I can find in that environment. In the desert island situation you can make do with relations that are not ideal.

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    I've had crushes on two different LIIs, but when I actually try to imagine being in a relationship with one, I can't see it working out. Most of them make me have an "Aww!" reaction and they respond well to my Fe, but they often just seem weak, or soft, which is a turn off.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Jenna View Post
    I've had crushes on two different LIIs, but when I actually try to imagine being in a relationship with one, I can't see it working out. Most of them make me have an "Aww!" reaction and they respond well to my Fe, but they often just seem weak, or soft, which is a turn off.
    what?! dj seems strong to u ?

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    I consciously try to avoid acting SLE, for fear I will be pushy and a bully. Must be a consequence of being bullied myself when I was younger.

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    I like the idea of 'energy based interaction' versus 'information based interaction.' All static types have an 'energy based' interaction with dynamic types. I'm remembering an incident that happened where (long story) I had an LSI police officer driving me back to where my car was parked. I was thinking about socionics while this was going on. I actually am afraid of the police and had a bad experience with them a few years ago, so when anything like this happens, I start thinking to myself whether my socionics knowledge could come in handy.

    I wasn't really in trouble for anything, but I was still having that awful feeling where you know that it doesn't matter if you're guilty or innocent, it doesn't matter why you did something, it doesn't matter what happened: you're talking to a brick wall, and they're going to do whatever they want to do to you, regardless of anything you say. My natural response is to not be emotional, but I've been aware for some time now that whenever the LSI cops catch you, they *want* to see you being at least a little bit emotional.

    So we were talking about the situation in a matter of fact way while driving. And at one point I said, 'I'm sorry for causing such a problem. This whole thing is really embarrassing. I really feel like an idiot!' I've learned that LSIs will usually pick up on any crumbs of emotion that I put out, even if I can't do anything really elaborate, just very basic expressions of feeling. It was like pushing a button. He suddenly became sort of, I don't know how to describe it, sort of warm and friendly and human, and sort of proud of himself. He said that it's okay, this is his job, this is what he gets paid to do and he's just doing his job. His whole manner suddenly warmed up.

    The point is that even when I am interacting with an LSI, one of the most difficult relations for me, I can still see the interaction between my poorly-developed Fe, and their Fe-seeking dual function. I'm not saying it's a 'good relation' because of that, and if we had to interact for long periods of time, there would be strain, but even so, you can actually have a few brief moments with somebody where the interaction goes well and you get positive responses from each other.

    I've been so extremely antisocial for the past few years that I don't remember interacting with many of the other types in real life, just online (while not knowing for sure what people's types were). So I can't describe a lot of relations.

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    I'm inclined to believe inter-type relations depend heavily on the specific types as well.
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    All individuals of a high enough maturity level are able to perfectly and sufficiently enjoy good relations, but ecstatic relations can only be reached via duality.
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    I would say that the less compatible an intertype relation, the more intimacy must be sacrificed in order to make it work comfortably. Mirage can be a pretty good relationship, for example, but you have to stop expecting your Base function to be appreciated, and learn not to expect much support in your Suggestive, which creates distance between you and inhibits intimacy.

    Even Conflict can be made relatively comfortable, if you put enough psychological distance between you and don't expect any kind of intimacy. But the only way to have maximum intimacy + maximum comfort is Duality.
    Quaero Veritas.

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