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Thread: The Ten Stages of a Depressed ENFp

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    Default The Ten Stages of a Depressed ENFp

    I did not conceive of these ten stages as I pulled them from another forum. I'm sure every personality type goes through stages, but these stages are unique to ENFps. When I was younger I definitely experienced the earlier stages. I'd say the worst stage I've gotten to was stage five.


    Stage One: ENFP will start feeling a bit lonely and disconnected. They will think it's just a stage that will pass, and will try to ignore it.


    Stage Two: The ENFP will start feeling even more lonely, this can usually be brought about by having a hard time with family or feeling like they are insecure in their relationships in general. Stage One increases, and the ENFP will start feeling anxious.


    Stage Three: The ENFP's feeling of anxiousness will become overbearing, and they may feel extremely insecure when talking to other people. They lose the quick wit and charm they used to have. The smile will because more nervous and the laugh will become less natural. They will still be trying to convince themselves it;s just a stage that they are going through and that nothing is wrong.


    Stage Four: ENFP will most likely hit shut down mode. They will not talk to other people about their feelings or what is going on unless asked specific, prying questions. They will have a really hard time talking to people and feeling like they can relate. They will start coming across as an introvert.

    Stage Five: The ENFP will be extremely stressed, lonely, and emotional. May start bursting out randomly and be extremely moody. Will experience periods of highs and lows. The ENFP may start crying over something seemingly insignificant. They will do this because there is so much bottled feelings up inside and that may have been the last thing to set them off edge.


    Stage Six: The ENFP will start lashing out at other people like above, but more extremely. Will most likely show complete and utter disregard for authority. They will also start hurting the people they care about, to make them back off and go away. All the while the ENFP, through the stages, will try to convince themselves that nothing is wrong and that they will get better, and thus the problem worsens.


    Stage Seven: They will finally admit to themselves that there is a problem but try consciously to contradict it. They will try to force themselves to relax and be wonderful again. They will try to establish the facts- what the problems is, how it went wrong, and what to do.


    Stage Eight: If it gets worse at this point, the ENFP will not be acting like themselves at all. They will not be thinking clearly, and will most likely suffer from being illogical, irrational, and as well may suffer from extremely headaches. They will give up on caring and will not pay attention to the world around them, instead focusing all of their energy into their inner world of what they feel and dwell on it. They will no longer have any motivation to care or do the things they love.


    Stage Nine: Your ENFP will start enjoying dark humor ad freaking other people out for the hell of it, especially the people they care about. However, at this stage they will not do this too extremely to the people they care about because their is that small piece of the ENFP that wants to hold the relationship in tact. They will push you away and drag you back in, and become and emotional roller coaster for anyone and everyone around them. If you ask what is wrong, the ENFP will completely shoot you down unless it is in a structured environment and they think that you are somebody that they can trust. However at this point the ENFP will become extremely untrusting, so talking to them about anything is much like walking on fragile glass about to fall apart and break forever. The ENFP will hold grudges.


    Stage Ten: Complete personality turnaround, the ENFP will have lost it, or will have appeared to. Complete emotional instability and recklessness. They will be completely and utterly impulsive to the point of stupidity. They will not care about their well being or anybody else's. At this pion, the ENFP will be so far in their heads it will be nearly impossible to get through to them unless you sink to his or her own level of insanity and instability. They will have given up on life altogether, and will most likely have forgotten what it was like to really feel alive and well again.
    Last edited by Raver; 09-14-2011 at 07:04 AM.
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    when you see the booty Galen's Avatar
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    My biggest point of depression so far manifested in antisociability, passive-aggressiveness, withdrawing from people/prolonged desire for privacy, utter fixation on the problem, and trying really fucking hard to not sob at inopportune times. I would hide away from situations I didn't want to be in and instead fixate all my energy on the problem, trying really hard to overanalyze it all and fix it. I don't relate to the impulsivity in that description at all, I consider myself to be much more (externally) controlled than that. Maybe I've just never progressed further than stage 5 in that description, but I'd rather not go that far down the rabbit hole.
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    yeah same, I think the lowest i've gone is stage 5, but i've definitely been there.
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    Yeah, I've been to stage 5. Mostly during my teenage years. Might've come across more as an IEI during that time period...
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    Come to think of it, stage 5 was probably the worst stage I have been on for an extended period of time. If I was at worse stages in my life, it probably was too short and sporadic to be given any significance.
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    Come to think of it, I might have actually experienced a brief period of a less-extreme version of Stages 6 and 7, too, when I was suffering from post-partum anxiety with my second child. I did get help, though, which probably kept me from progressing any further. Also, this was what got me more into MBTI, and eventually Socionics, to help me understand myself better and figure out what I needed to change in order to become a happier person. I'd say it worked
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    ENFps are probably among the most difficult sociotype to receive the impression of depression from, but its there if present. Its often concealed by their own mind, translated externally in a difficult way, or expressed in subtle Fi ways. Obviously, mileage varies per person, but this has been my overall impression.

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    Could anyone try to write similar list for LII and EII depresssion stages? Does the depression really differs by the personality type? I would really like to compare them. Because I am absolutely not an ENFp but these stages are perfect for me, too. I've been in all ten of them.
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    Quote Originally Posted by charabanc View Post
    Could anyone try to write similar list for LII and EII depresssion stages? Does the depression really differs by the personality type? I would really like to compare them. Because I am absolutely not an ENFp but these stages are perfect for me, too. I've been in all ten of them.
    Sure, I'll note to do it after work today.

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    Interesting Thread -- I'm going to respond, but not as my character Shang Tsung;

    My only criticism is the narration isn't very unique. It doesn't outline what makes ENFp depression characteristic of ENFp. I would be interested in understanding how depression differs in temparment; say Ixxj, Exxp, Ixxp, Exxj. Also how it differs with clubs; NT, ST, SF, NF. That could give one a complete logical characterization of a single type by combining the two sets of four. The current description is weak in illuminating these differences, much of it seems universal to depression.

    Also the 10 step idea is a little hookey like "10 step programs". It does have a progression, but in my opinion it would be better written differently. There is a lot of overlap in the 10 steps.

    Basically with friends and family, relationships become strained at first, the person pulls back and doesn't feel like themselves, then lashes out and acts out, then goes on an emotional rollercoaster

    With the self there is an onset of anxiety, loneliness, and disconnectedness which is ignored and eventually turns to increased aloofness, then impulsivity, then acceptance and ends with antisocial, impulsive, risk taking behavior (they don't give a shit about their life). They loose motivation around the same time.

    All of this seems to be generic and not unique.

    I'd assume that Exxp types in general would be more likely to give into acting out and impulsiveness -- while Ixxj types in general would be more likely to give into extreme levels of quarantine and aloofness. Exxj types would be more overbearing and domineering with an antisocial flair to it, being reckless and forceful to get attention. Ixxp types in general would be more hazy and loose motivation and drive and generally mope around.

    NT would hyper rationalize the state of the depression, NF would be drawn more to diverting their attention away from it and drawn more into escapist behavior which is colored by their depressed state, SFs would also attempt to draw themselves away from it but manifest their depression more physically and concretely in their demeanor and presence, STs would focus on concrete remedies to their problems but overfocus on concrete action as a cure for their state rather than emotional healing or resolution.

    Just combining these up we could take an ISTj and see a depressed ISTj is likely to be very aloof and overfocus on concrete actions as a cure for their state. They would likely become fixated and obsessed on certain compulsions which are believed to help drive them out of their depression, while becoming aloof to those outside. This fixation and aloofness would lead to them actually digging themselves deeper into depression.

    Now take an ISFp by contrast, they would loose motivation and energy, start to become draggy, ignore the negative feelings, but none the less have less zest for life and become more physically sluggish and detached. They would be drawn towards sensations which evoke feelings to express this negativity and likely surround themselves in these things and environments, all the while ignoring the conditions and hoping that through the sensations and feelings they will subconsciously work through the depression and arrive at a better place.

    Etc....

    this isn't perfect but I think something like this would be a little more compelling and interesting.

    I personally relate to being very aloof and a bit antisocial and impulsive when I get depressed. Also I've noticed several mechanisms in my psychology to prevent spiraling downwards. For example when I become depressed, I tend to enjoy isolating myself from other people more -- being social is like a frigid blizzard that makes me frozen with anxiety, while isolation is warm and comforting. When isolated though I try to be as productive as possible and eventually find myself longing for the company of other people. This helps turn a false footing into a strong foundation for the future. My largest problem is when people demand you socialize and will invade that much needed cycle of isolation... this is usually when I respond the most antisocial and impulsive, being uncooperative, indignant, and argumentative. In some ways I think depression is a natural part of the cycle. Feeling disconnected, insignificant, meaningless, lonely, and blue is just part of life and I think its a major driver to people actually doing something meaningful with their lives. Bad depression in my opinion comes from resisting these feelings for too long, it builds up tension that's more difficult to manage, rather than cyclically processing them and having some sort of drive and tension and release to ones life.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Maritsa Darmandzhyan View Post
    Sure, I'll note to do it after work today.
    I will be pleased a lot.
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    Quote Originally Posted by charabanc View Post
    I will be pleased a lot.
    The progression of FiNe emotional response to something that causes depression greatly differs on what that subject or object is. Something we like being broken is obviously not a cause for depression, it's just an object. The real cause of most of EII depression is humanity and the reflection on the human condition and how we fit into the cycle of nature. I'll try to explain to you when I first realized I was human and what that mean for me and being in this world that sparked many cycles of depressions.


    Stage one: I first realized what eating meat was. I fought with my parents in verbal justing, clearly expressing my morality against partaking of what was considered a "normal human activity." My parents were naturally concerned about my health, I hardly ate and I refused to eat meat as a kid. "I'm not eating it; you just killed a cow so I can have food? I'm going to eat that salad." "But, honey, you need the nutrients." "I'll die." "ok, eat some of the veggie soup."
    "I can't believe that all we think is about ourselves, us, it's always about us." From early age, I realized the things we were doing were not fair to everything else. I was on my moral high ground. Expression of my moral views on a subject.

    Stage two: More rebellious behavior aimed at expressing my dissatisfaction with whatever, even being alive was the first of the things that caused depression in me. "Everything is born and it dies and born and dies and born and dies; what's the point, why did you have to have me? It's selfish." I was mean when I was angry. The angrier I am the more depressed I am, in reality, I just didn't know how to deal with it in a healthy way. A healthy way of dealing with it is to realize that your anger and dissatisfaction hurts people and they have emotions and they are trying their best; to be calm, soothing and just plane forgiving is the best way to deal with that, but because I hadn't gotten to that stage yet, my morality was testing on other's patience, their love, their anger, their emotions and mine as well.

    Stage three: withdrawing violently away from everyone. In this stage I don't want to interact with others, I don't want to pick up the phone, to talk to anyone, to hear anyone's voice. I look out the window early in the morning or late in the evening, out into the calm, inactive day, usually fixating on nature, trees, mountains, sky; I'll think about the world of beauty of nature, without us, without our petty inputs; the more I look onto these things, the deeper my emotions get because they detach from activities of the external world; completely shutting away Te and letting my emotions run in nature, get deep and deeper with those trees ad flowers. By this stage, my mother's realized what's happening and will jump to action. She knows me too well, she knows I can't be left alone. She'll call me dozens of times and even send my sister after me to check up on me. If Van Gogh had anyone in his life, he may not fallen to the other stages either.

    Stage four: I seek out people to help, to talk to, to sooth loneliness, but quickly the emotions or the feeling of wanting to be alone jumps back.

    Stage four: Crying, deep sorrow, wanting to not face reality, this stage usually involves a lot of communication with our maker, "why won't you let people leave me alone so I can go? why do you feel that me living this is so important; nothing is important. My mother, she loves me, she'll call any minute now; my father, sister, brother, they're worried. I should lift myself up out of this. There's no point to this."

    Stage five: usually, if an EII follows through and takes themselves out of depression at stage three and four, they won't need to get here but this stage is just full of more isolation and going out into nature where there aren't any people. if given the right tool, a gun, knife, whatever, this is the stage that an EII can easily take themselves out.

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    Okay.. Let's talk about Stage 11, though.

    Stage Eleven: The Healing Process. (This applies to anyone experiencing this issue; not only IEEs).

    After feeling like giving up on life altogether, the IEE must open their minds to unlock their Ne that they have ever so neglected during the unhealthy stages. Instead of settling with the feelings of loneliness and isolation, the IEE uses his Ne at super turbo charge to practically drown themselves in the possibilities that exist in life. The IEE actively seeks out friendships and reconnects with people, without giving a fuck how long it has been. "I've been thinking of you.." Human connection is essential! Ah, now, the IEE is recharged again.

    The IEE realizes that THEY are the true director of their lives. Instead of limiting themselves to a dark and desolate path (and possibilities) of life, they actively thrive on the amazing possibilities out there... Using Ne as their energy source, the IEE unforgivingly and fiercely defeats depression/negativity and a negative thought process (which can be so easily locked into, when you have the natural process of multiple scenarios popping up in your head all the time).

    It's so essential to never lose sight on the beautiful possibilities in life. The IEE surrounds themselves in a positive environment where they can exert their charm and never-ending zest for life.

    Honestly: Don't lose your Ne + Fi! Keep it alive! (Do I have you convinced on purchasing a bag of those Ne boosting noodles?)


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    Quote Originally Posted by Pink View Post

    It's so essential to never lose sight on the beautiful possibilities in life. The IEE surrounds themselves in a positive environment where they can exert their charm and never-ending zest for life.

    Honestly: Don't lose your Ne + Fi! Keep it alive!
    It makes me sad that a type can turn away from their default way of functioning (4D elements) in the first place. It's often an environmental problem, that's why most mental issues are so difficult to cure. Being in a Delta environment surely helps during the healing process of an ENFp.
    Last edited by Chae; 08-26-2016 at 04:52 PM.

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    From stage 5 onwards, the ENFp is behaving more like an ISTp - stress will do that. These depths will give them an appreciation for what their dual may experience on a daily basis but ISTp manage it with much more competence and control.

    a.k.a. I/O

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