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Thread: Caring for your Delta ST

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    Default Caring for your Delta ST

    Ready... go!

    I promise I'll post some of my thoughts once someone else gets the ball rolling. I'm sure there are other Deltas here with questions, concerns, advice, and personal experiences.
    EII/INFj

    OVE

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    First off, Delta STs have to exist in order for me to care for them.

    "And above all, watch with glittering eyes the whole world around you because the greatest secrets are always hidden in the most unlikely places. Those who don't believe in magic will never find it." -Roald Dahl

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    It's pretty cool

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    Quote Originally Posted by Diaphanous View Post
    Ready... go!

    I promise I'll post some of my thoughts once someone else gets the ball rolling.
    IME, female SLIs tend to be highly protective about their inner emotional life, careless probing will not be received well.
    Greetings, ragnar
    ILI knowledge-seeker

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    Quote Originally Posted by ragnar View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Diaphanous View Post
    Ready... go!

    I promise I'll post some of my thoughts once someone else gets the ball rolling.
    IME, female SLIs tend to be highly protective about their inner emotional life, careless probing will not be received well.
    I've had the complete opposite experience.
    Last edited by leckysupport; 08-22-2011 at 12:38 AM.

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    Since no one has offered anything yet, let me be the first by suggesting that in the care of your Delta ST, you should avoid physical assault, sexual assault, and murder.
    SLI/ISTp -- Te subtype

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    Quote Originally Posted by Diaphanous View Post
    Ready... go!

    I promise I'll post some of my thoughts once someone else gets the ball rolling. I'm sure there are other Deltas here with questions, concerns, advice, and personal experiences.

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    Quote Originally Posted by ragnar View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Diaphanous View Post
    Ready... go!

    I promise I'll post some of my thoughts once someone else gets the ball rolling.
    IME, female SLIs tend to be highly protective about their inner emotional life, careless probing will not be received well.
    Quote Originally Posted by leckysupport View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by ragnar View Post
    IME, female SLIs tend to be highly protective about their inner emotional life, careless probing will not be received well.
    I've had the complete opposite experience.
    Yeah.
    Just be cool about it.

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    Learn their favorite treats and then treat them to it.

    Be willing to accept that as much as you feel and are sure about your feelings and intuitions, you actually can be wrong, about both.

    Be prepared that STs are in no way "static" like a delta NF is.

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    Quote Originally Posted by UDP View Post
    Learn their favorite treats and then treat them to it.
    Followed by lots of praise and affection. Useful phrases might include, "hoosa good boy?" etc. If they jump up and down and slobber, use a firm hand.
    SLI/ISTp -- Te subtype

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    Sort of. Unfortunately delta STs are a lot more like dogs than would be prestigious to say.

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    If you neuter the males, they'll be less likely to complain about the weather as they get older. May inhibit certain other functions, however, so be careful.
    SLI/ISTp -- Te subtype

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    Quote Originally Posted by UDP View Post

    Be prepared that STs are in no way "static" like a delta NF is.
    What do you mean by that? I'm intrigued...
    Enneagram: 9w1 6w5 2w3 so/sx

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    Quote Originally Posted by ragnar View Post
    IME, female SLIs tend to be highly protective about their inner emotional life, careless probing will not be received well.
    My best friend who is ESI dated a female SLI for a short time, and this girl was very protective about her inner emotional life. Apparently she was always giving off this vibe of "I'm really deep and complicated and angsty" which I'm sure is like catnip for IEE, lol.

    Question: Do Delta STs have this back-and-forth thing going on with Si and Fi?

    Example 1: SLI really enjoys drinking and the occasional mind-altering drug because they make her feel good. I suppose she becomes relaxed and some of her senses may be blurred or intensified depending on the substance, making simple things like touching someone or eating food or having sex more intense. She might also like them because they enable her to feel more at ease in social situations. I'm just guessing. However, an IEE who knows her really does not approve of these behaviors because he sees them as self-destructive and unhealthy as well as morally questionable.

    Example 2: Of the two LSEs I have known personally, they were very promiscuous in their younger years. From what I can discern, they have sort of "reformed" or "matured" and now have a more genuine interest in committing to more stable, meaningful relationships. However, they also admit to a constant yearning for "the chase." Does this maybe have something to do with satisfying "darker" Si desires?

    Too much drinking, drugs, promiscuity = unhealthy Si? People always talk about how Si has to do with a focus on personal health, but some Si behaviors (if they can be considered such) can be taken to an unhealthy extreme--unhealthy for the person and for their relationships with others.
    I guess the Fi in Delta STs tells them that they should be seeking stable relationships...? Give me your thoughts.
    EII/INFj

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    Quote Originally Posted by WorkaholicsAnon View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by UDP View Post

    Be prepared that STs are in no way "static" like a delta NF is.
    What do you mean by that? I'm intrigued...
    I would also like to know what you mean. Are you referring to the fact that Te is dynamic or more something else?
    EII/INFj

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    Quote Originally Posted by Diaphanous View Post
    Question: Do Delta STs have this back-and-forth thing going on with Si and Fi?
    You could say that.

    Example 1: SLI really enjoys drinking and the occasional mind-altering drug because they make her feel good. I suppose she becomes relaxed and some of her senses may be blurred or intensified depending on the substance, making simple things like touching someone or eating food or having sex more intense. She might also like them because they enable her to feel more at ease in social situations. I'm just guessing. However, an IEE who knows her really does not approve of these behaviors because he sees them as self-destructive and unhealthy as well as morally questionable.
    There's nothing unusual about this. Is there a question here?

    Example 2: Of the two LSEs I have known personally, they were very promiscuous in their younger years. From what I can discern, they have sort of "reformed" or "matured" and now have a more genuine interest in committing to more stable, meaningful relationships. However, they also admit to a constant yearning for "the chase." Does this maybe have something to do with satisfying "darker" Si desires?
    Yes. ... sort of.

    Delta STs, compared to delta NFs, seem to be more able to address 'hunger' in the most physical or visceral sense / senses. I will be honest, and it will be unpleasant for NFs to hear, I'm sure:

    There is a very wide gap between 'hunger', which includes sexual desires, and relational things. It does not have to be that wide, and it is not mutually exclusive to valuing monogamy. But it is there. It is possible to focus soley on 'hungers' and desires, and to even be fairly consumed by them. Delta STs will do this in a very Si way where they lose sense of things that aren't in the moment or relevant to what they feel; they will become over focused on 'pleasure'.

    It's powerful, and not necessarily bad, but it happens. It's best when it is let lose in a sort of measured or contained way, where there is some sort of check on not letting it become too consuming. Checks can be external (like another person, reminding them maybe), but the more substantial and harder ones are internal - values, commitments that are significant, long-term goals or visions that are really deemed important to the person.

    "More immature" or even "average' Si types can fail at setting those boundaries or knowing their limits about those things very well; especially so for delta STs who don't have any sort of ethics in their ego block.

    Too much drinking, drugs, promiscuity = unhealthy Si? People always talk about how Si has to do with a focus on personal health, but some Si behaviors (if they can be considered such) can be taken to an unhealthy extreme--unhealthy for the person and for their relationships with others.
    I would not say unhealthy Si, I would say overfocusing on Si aspects of reality and declining into such pyschological lopsidedness that the person is simply making bad decisions. You can run it through socionics if you want to, but, what is happening is the person is avoiding reality at the sake of appeasing what their mind has determined to be "rewarding".

    It's a form of retreating and seeking comfort in a convolution, rather than facing reality and dealing with the constraints that reality imposes. It's not really much different from thinking that sweets are 'always' good and tastey, and that you are actually craving them. After enough consumption, your body is actually rejecting them and bad things happpen (you get fat, develop diabetes, other problems), but your mind says "wow that's yummy/rewarding!". ETC

    I guess the Fi in Delta STs tells them that they should be seeking stable relationships...? Give me your thoughts.
    I would say "Fi in delta ST" would imply they are inclined to not want relational statuses to change or fluctuate much, and that they would rather not have to emotionally demonstrate how they feel in order tomaintain a relational status (what is valued Fi an not valued Fe).

    "Unhealthy" Delta STs will subconsciously yearn for what most people want (a good relationship, to be loved, etc), but if they are too focused on Si and aren't well rounded enough, they might not be able to pay the bills, if you will, in terms of maintaining relationships.


    Basically, some delta STs (or any other person) may get locked into a mental pattern where they don't want to challenge what works for them, and don't want to face that something could be more rewarding than just chasing Si. Especially if you're really good at it or addicted to pursuing more and more complex pleasure/comfortableness feeling situations, what's the incentive to challenge that massive skill you have to get better at something else, even if it's apparently 'good for you'? That's up to the individual. The LSEs you mentioned maybe 'grew up' and started pursuing bigger, or more complicated methods of deriving satisfaction in life, which required or reinforced growing into a more balanced person.... which may have involved "getting better at Fi"

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    Lol I was wondering if delta ST's were going to get an equivalent thread.
    Lets see, tell you what I'll give a tangible account of my relationship needs and it can be related to socionics later...but it's all pretty standard Super-id stuff.

    What I need in a relationship is...
    • Someone who will engage me personally and give me meaningful compliments.

    • Someone who appreciates being helped, while rarely ever asking for it.

    • Someone who will frequently remind me that they love/care about/appreciate me while knowing I feel the same without me expressing it quite as often.

    • Someone who will break me out of my comfort zone and get me to try new things.

    • Someone who bakes a mean batch of cookies ...that's ones optional


    I would say "Fi in delta ST" would imply they are inclined to not want relational statuses to change or fluctuate much, and that they would rather not have to emotionally demonstrate how they feel in order tomaintain a relational status (what is valued Fi an not valued Fe).


    Sort of. Unfortunately delta STs are a lot more like dogs than would be prestigious to say.
    Haha we are a little like dogs in that we are emotionally quite simple and have short memories. Nice input = nice output, bad input = bad output but at the same time we can be quite forgiving.

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    Quote Originally Posted by moredhel View Post
    • Someone who bakes a mean batch of cookies ...that's ones optional

    .


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    Quote Originally Posted by WorkaholicsAnon View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by UDP View Post

    Be prepared that STs are in no way "static" like a delta NF is.
    What do you mean by that? I'm intrigued...
    ^

    Address please
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    I take care of my Delta ST, LSE in these ways...

    I give them lots of time, room, and space to do their own thing and while they are doing it, I do not interrupt them. I have my various hobbies and things to do in the mean time, which creates interdependence between us.

    I schedule, plan, and calendar in priorities bases on necessary and important activities. This allows them to focus on doing the things that are important rather than taking up too many things and over working. Left on their own, they would just make a list of things to do and start, with such incredible propensity, working down the list and trying to get as much done as possible.

    I let them know how they are important to me, everyone else, and the world around them. This allows them to keep optimistic and let some steam off their Negativist views and worries.

    I pick the places/restaurants to eat and we try different things. In this I also encourage eating healthy (not junk food all the time) and keeping fit; I think this is particularly important, for especially the Te subtypes, who are not better in touch with their internal sensory world like Si is and hence ignore their body's needs in strive and effort for external things.

    I don't reprimand them, I am not judgmental and critical of their efforts in trying to help me, I suggest things in subtle ways as to not hurt their feelings make them feel like their efforts are not worthy of my attention and admiration.

    I do romantic and nice things for us. Like, leaving love letters, notes, and kisses in places as a subtle way to let them know they were in my thoughts.

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    As for myself, I would say that I need someone who can tolerate my laser-beam interrogations without being overwhelmed. I have a tendency to start asking people a large number of questions when I am talking to them. I haven't spent any time with NFs in recent years, so I can't recall exactly what happens, and probably, if they were the right type of person, they would enjoy it rather than getting freaked out. I just start looking into someone's mind and asking them all about 'Why do you do x?' or that kind of thing, sort of psychoanalyzing someone. If they're not used to that then they get uncomfortable. So they have to be able to tolerate being mentally 'dissected' in a way that is too intense for most people.

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    Quote Originally Posted by UDP View Post
    I would say "Fi in delta ST" would imply they are inclined to not want relational statuses to change or fluctuate much, and that they would rather not have to emotionally demonstrate how they feel in order tomaintain a relational status (what is valued Fi an not valued Fe).
    idk, IME Ti types are not naturally inclined to be emotionally demonstrative either for the most part, it's just that they're more receptive and needy of emotional exhibition from the other party than Te's are

    Just wanted to throw that out there

    Quote Originally Posted by UDP View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by moredhel View Post
    • Someone who bakes a mean batch of cookies ...that's ones optional

    .

    Thought that was "handsome face" for a sec
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    No, it's me.
    M Bison is sort of a UDP imitation, and that's sort of how I'd act if I were viewing this forum via a smart phone, and reacted to seeing Moredhel's comment.

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    Quote Originally Posted by WorkaholicsAnon View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by WorkaholicsAnon View Post

    What do you mean by that? I'm intrigued...
    ^

    Address please
    I'm baking a thoughtful response.... stay tuned....

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    Quote Originally Posted by UDP View Post
    I'm baking a thoughtful response.... stay tuned....
    You lied. (;_; )

    Anyway, bump. I think this might be more useful than the other thread, so I decided to excavate it. It's nice to hear from the Delta STs what they like, and maybe we'll get more material now.
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    Sports, politics, law, (video-)games, my bed after i had a shower, smell after a summer rain, clothes (especially shoes), good food, good deep long conversations.

    Relationshipwise i am looking for an intelligent girl who's fun and awakes curiosity in me. I don't have to be "the man" in the relationship who is in control.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Daft21 View Post
    Sports, politics, law, (video-)games, my bed after i had a shower, smell after a summer rain, clothes (especially shoes), good food, good deep long conversations.

    Relationshipwise i am looking for an intelligent girl who's fun and awakes curiosity in me. I don't have to be "the man" in the relationship who is in control.

    Sweet. It's settled then. Marry me and be my house-husband. dont want to give up my career, and i really need someone to take care of me...
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    Quote Originally Posted by WorkaholicsAnon View Post
    Sweet. It's settled then. Marry me and be my house-husband. dont want to give up my career, and i really need someone to take care of me...
    Sorry i am Ni Role I was just speaking about relationships for me at the moment . Sad but true i am also following a career but househusband sounds tempting as long you earn enough to pay a house cleaner.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Daft21 View Post
    Sorry i am Ni Role I was just speaking about relationships for me at the moment . Sad but true i am also following a career but househusband sounds tempting as long you earn enough to pay a house cleaner.

    well cool maybe we can put our two incomes together and afford one then!
    I dont like lazy unmotivated men though..
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    Quote Originally Posted by WorkaholicsAnon View Post
    well cool maybe we can put our two incomes together and afford one then!
    I dont like lazy unmotivated men though..
    lazy yes unmotivated not

    There's also the possibility that i have to work 100% even if i don't want it what might become a problem when we have kids. And someone has to look after the dog too.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Daft21 View Post
    Sports, politics, law, (video-)games, my bed after i had a shower, smell after a summer rain, clothes (especially shoes), good food, good deep long conversations.

    Relationshipwise i am looking for an intelligent girl who's fun and awakes curiosity in me. I don't have to be "the man" in the relationship who is in control.
    You should marry WA, she's very intelligent, kind, sweet, smart, funny....yeah.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Daft21 View Post
    lazy yes unmotivated not

    There's also the possibility that i have to work 100% even if i don't want it what might become a problem when we have kids. And someone has to look after the dog too.
    Oh right and there's also my kitty cat...
    oh well, gotta do some more thinking then..
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    Quote Originally Posted by Maritsa View Post
    You should marry WA, she's very intelligent, kind, sweet, smart, funny....yeah.

    aw maritsa... you are so sweet...

    That just melted my ice-cold heart... i'm serious. Warm fuzzies and everything..
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    Quote Originally Posted by WorkaholicsAnon View Post
    That just melted my ice-cold heart...
    And all this time I thought IEEs had rubber hearts.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Director Abbie View Post
    And all this time I thought IEEs had rubber hearts.
    Rubber can ice over too... it gets very brittle that way..
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ryene Astraelis View Post
    You lied. (;_; )

    Anyway, bump. I think this might be more useful than the other thread, so I decided to excavate it. It's nice to hear from the Delta STs what they like, and maybe we'll get more material now.
    I don't remember anymore, sorry.

  36. #36
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    Quote Originally Posted by Diaphanous View Post
    My best friend who is ESI dated a female SLI for a short time, and this girl was very protective about her inner emotional life. Apparently she was always giving off this vibe of "I'm really deep and complicated and angsty" which I'm sure is like catnip for IEE, lol.
    YES. Give me deep, inaccessible minds!!!!

    Mreow.
    And if God cares so wonderfully for flowers that are here today and gone tomorrow, won't he more surely care for you?- Matthew 6:30

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    Quote Originally Posted by Maritsa View Post

    I do romantic and nice things for us. Like, leaving love letters, notes, and kisses in places as a subtle way to let them know they were in my thoughts.
    Awww. I love this, especially love notes. I do the same all the time, but he ends up reading them, then moving on about his day, forgetting to mention that he ever found them.





    So then I put them in the trash and cross my arms and storm off, and he pulls them out later and keeps them in a box to give to me a year later.

    MADNESS! And I'm such a sucker for it.
    And if God cares so wonderfully for flowers that are here today and gone tomorrow, won't he more surely care for you?- Matthew 6:30

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