Telling people what they need to know

[Beautiful sky]

If you were a distant acquaintance and had less than a good relationship with someone would you tell them what they needed to know about someone they are dating that they aren't a compatible match in Socionics. Both people know about Socionics and both have typed each other as their dual or would you leave it alone so that they can get in a potentially bad relationship and find out for themselves?

[Sumer1an]

I would let them find out for themselves.

[April]

I'd leave it alone for three main reasons.

First, as a general rule, I tend to put people's self-typings before others' typings of them. There's a chance that you've typed them wrong if they know Socionics and are typing themselves differently, since they know themselves and their internal makeup much better than you ever can.

Second, if you have a distant and bad relationship, I'm guessing your contact is rather limited. Butting into their lives to offer "relationship advice" would be rather presumptuous (i.e., do they want any advice?) and potentially rude.

Third, you're assuming that Socionics is the determining factor in the success of a relationship. Even if they're not duals, they can have a happy relationship.

[Jenna]

The chances of them both knowing socionics is probably pretty low lol.. But I would tell them, I guess. What's the harm? At least then they can have their eyes open to potential problems. I'm not sure how they would react though.

[MisterNi]

No, I agree with April.

You shouldn't tell them for the reasons she listed but there's also the aspect that if you tell them some theory states their relationship won't work out, then you may be "poisoning the well". That is, you'd be trying to set their relationship up for failure by filling them with doubt.

If the relationship works out great then good. They're the exception not the rule. If the relationship doesn't work out well, then you can inform them about intertype relations.

[bionic]

I would tell them to invest in some therapy first.

[anndelise]

Telling people what they need to know.

If you were a distant acquaintance and had less than a good relationship with someone would you tell them what they needed to know about someone they are dating that they aren't a compatible match in Socionics. Both people know about Socionics and both have typed each other as their dual or would you leave it alone so that they can get in a potentially bad relationship and find out for themselves?

This is what I would say to someone who was considering doing such a thing:

First, who are you to determine what someone you barely know needs to know? How do you know that they, personally, have that NEED?

If they were close, intimate friends of yours, where you're able to finish their sentences for them, or that they turn to you for intimate advice, then how can you presume to have even a clue about what their needs are?

Maybe if they were considering marriage, or having kids, then it might be appropriate to inform them that one of them is cheating on the other (if that were to be the case), or some such thing.

But socionics is an unscientific theory. There are no guarantees here. There is no guarantee that your typing of them is correct. There is no guarantee that socionic's interpersonal relationships are predeterminedly good/bad, nor is it set in stone. There is no guarantee that your personal predictions are accurate. There is no guarantee that your personal typings and predictions of them trumps their own experiences, beliefs, adaptive abilities, inter-personal relationship skills, nor communications with each other. And I think that it's pretty damned arrogant of you to even think that your personal beliefs trumps either of theirs.

And even if, in time, their relationship doesn't work out, there is no guarantee that the reasons will only be based on socionical theory...much less on your predictions.

My belief is that each of our interactions, each of our relationships are potential learning resources. We learn about ourselves through these interactions and relationships. And we learn about what we want in an interaction/relationship based on previous interactions/relationships...our own or others. Who the hell do you think you are to block them from that? To prevent them from a potential learning experience, that could improve their chances at finding what they really want.

And worse, what if the relationship would have worked out if not for your meddlesomeness? You would block them from that? For what reason? To cater to your own ego about your belief in your supposed awesomeness at typing and predictive powers?

So, that was the first thing.
The other thing is that, can you state clearly and cleanly, in non-socionically terms why this couple has no chance in hell of ever interacting with each other in a way that they personally might find acceptable? Not what YOU might find acceptable, but what they themselves might find acceptable.

Or is all this based on your own interests, your own wants, your own beliefs in your own supposed super-powers, and/or your own needs?

[Galen]

Uhh, I'd probably note differences in how they think about/perceive the world and how those differences would clash with each other, but only in Layman's terms.

[Beautiful sky]

Telling people what they need to know.

If you were a distant acquaintance and had less than a good relationship with someone would you tell them what they needed to know about someone they are dating that they aren't a compatible match in Socionics. Both people know about Socionics and both have typed each other as their dual or would you leave it alone so that they can get in a potentially bad relationship and find out for themselves?

This is what I would say to someone who was considering doing such a thing:

First, who are you to determine what someone you barely know needs to know? How do you know that they, personally, have that NEED?

If they were close, intimate friends of yours, where you're able to finish their sentences for them, or that they turn to you for intimate advice, then how can you presume to have even a clue about what their needs are?

Maybe if they were considering marriage, or having kids, then it might be appropriate to inform them that one of them is cheating on the other (if that were to be the case), or some such thing.

But socionics is an unscientific theory. There are no guarantees here. There is no guarantee that your typing of them is correct. There is no guarantee that socionic's interpersonal relationships are predeterminedly good/bad, nor is it set in stone. There is no guarantee that your personal predictions are accurate. There is no guarantee that your personal typings and predictions of them trumps their own experiences, beliefs, adaptive abilities, inter-personal relationship skills, nor communications with each other. And I think that it's pretty damned arrogant of you to even think that your personal beliefs trumps either of theirs.

And even if, in time, their relationship doesn't work out, there is no guarantee that the reasons will only be based on socionical theory...much less on your predictions.

My belief is that each of our interactions, each of our relationships are potential learning resources. We learn about ourselves through these interactions and relationships. And we learn about what we want in an interaction/relationship based on previous interactions/relationships...our own or others. Who the hell do you think you are to block them from that? To prevent them from a potential learning experience, that could improve their chances at finding what they really want.

And worse, what if the relationship would have worked out if not for your meddlesomeness? You would block them from that? For what reason? To cater to your own ego about your belief in your supposed awesomeness at typing and predictive powers?

So, that was the first thing.
The other thing is that, can you state clearly and cleanly, in non-socionically terms why this couple has no chance in hell of ever interacting with each other in a way that they personally might find acceptable? Not what YOU might find acceptable, but what they themselves might find acceptable.

Or is all this based on your own interests, your own wants, your own beliefs in your own supposed super-powers, and/or your own needs?

I LIKE THIS. I think you made a good point about letting people discover certain paths of life and experience things for themselves.

[munenori2]

If you were a distant acquaintance and had less than a good relationship with someone would you tell them what they needed to know about someone they are dating that they aren't a compatible match in Socionics. Both people know about Socionics and both have typed each other as their dual or would you leave it alone so that they can get in a potentially bad relationship and find out for themselves?

It's none of my business and I wouldn't say anything. Partly it's because I agree that "poisoning the well" is bad business. Relationships are hard enough without complete outsiders lobbing doubts and random weird advice at you. The other part is because I'd prefer to observe what happens with the two of them and see if there's a damn thing to socionics anyways. Social experimentz.