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Thread: Guessing parents types from observing children

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    meals's Avatar
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    Default Guessing parents types from observing children

    Ya ever notice how you can guess the parents' types from observing the children? I can sometimes tell, for example, who had supervisor/benefactor parents versus who had kindred/semi-dual or mirror/activator or business/mirage and so forth. It just seems to "color" their personality a little. Interesting
    Last edited by meals; 08-05-2011 at 07:36 PM. Reason: added more examples
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    never noticed

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    Quote Originally Posted by meals View Post
    I can sometimes tell, for example, who had supervisor/benefactor parents versus who had kindred/semi-dual or mirror/activator. It just seems to "color" their personality a little.
    interesting, what pattern do you see in it? how do different relationships with parents colour personality?

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    Unfortunately my sample size is not very large, but I find I get along especially well with my activator EII and benefactee ESI who were raised by parents of my type/my dual type. While these friends are "J" types they are softer around the edges for having been raised by P types, I think. Similarly my my semi-dual ILE raised by my type seems to have less of a problem with the Fi PoLR than others..

    also, my identical raised by alpha rationals seems more comfortable with Fe than I am (having been raised by my identical dad and benefactee ESI mom).
    Last edited by meals; 08-06-2011 at 03:17 AM. Reason: added another example and type abbreviations, grumble
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    ok, so what about people raised by their conflictors or superegos? do you know people like that too? are they more adept in using unvalued functions or confused because their true values were unvalued during upbringing? I'm sure there is much to it when it is a neighbouring quadra, but what with the opposite one?

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    There are so many factors that influence a personality, that I find your claim far fetched but ok I'll try to see if I can notice something in the people who's parents I got typed too.

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    Superego parent child relationships look very cold from the outside but on the inside it's mostly snarky and fun.

    I've had no experience with conflictor but I'd imagine it to be much more unpleasant.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Marietta View Post
    ok, so what about people raised by their conflictors or superegos? do you know people like that too? are they more adept in using unvalued functions or confused because their true values were unvalued during upbringing? ...
    That is a good question, though I can't offer any examples I know of those family relationships. I'll have to keep observing.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Marietta View Post
    ok, so what about people raised by their conflictors or superegos? do you know people like that too? are they more adept in using unvalued functions or confused because their true values were unvalued during upbringing? I'm sure there is much to it when it is a neighbouring quadra, but what with the opposite one?
    My parents are my superego and extinguishment, and compared to other EIIs I know I'd say I handle Se and especially Ti quite well. Through my whole childhood my dad has been telling me to "stop dawling" and "just go and do" things I'm not comfortable with. If I ever tell him about my worries he just makes strict comments such as "there are two kinds of people, those who have the guts to do unpleasant things without thinking whether they like them or not, and those who just whine and never manage to accomplish anyhthing in life. Make sure you don't fall in the wrong group" and basically just has me feel worse (that's not to say I don't agree with him, it's just that I don't feel like he's giving me the right kind of support). He has very much of an aggressor attitude and that has made me to toughen up quite a lot. And yes, it has had a certain effect on my psyche since I've never really felt appreciated by my parents as myself but only when I've forced myself out of my comfort zone and showed some Se/Ti/Fe/Ni. That sucks of course, but on the other hand I'm glad it's become relatively easy for me to deal with unvalued functions.

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    Meals I think you have some really great points there. I've also been suspecting that one's parents types can influence the way an individual manifests their functions. Any person you spend a large amount of time with, and admire (at least in early childhood if not later on) is going to be someone that shapes your behavior to some significant extent. In particular parents, who are responsible for teaching you how to behave--they will be teaching it based on their values.

    socionically, people do adapt to change themselves to suit the people around them; I think I remember reading Augusta having written that in her duality article. What's so awesome about duals is that with them you dont need to change yourself; you can revert to doing what is most comfortable to you around them. But generally, when exposed to non-duals, you will need to adapt to some degree.

    So I could totally see an ILE being raised by an Fi-valuing type being raised and disciplined to be more sensitive to Fi-issues, or at least suppress Fi-POLR motivated expressions. However, are you sure your friend isn't IEE? That could be the case as well.
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    Quote Originally Posted by WorkaholicsAnon View Post
    However, are you sure your friend isn't IEE? That could be the case as well.
    Good question but I'm quite sure on that one.

    Quote Originally Posted by WorkaholicsAnon View Post
    Meals I think you have some really great points there.
    Thank you - GREAT points - all around!
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