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Thread: Supervision relations: getting along with your supervisor type?

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    Default Supervision relations: getting along with your supervisor type?

    I think I read somewhere that we are likely to see our supervisor as the personification of all evil and that even when the supervisor does or says nothing we will feel an unpleasant kind of pressure from him/her. This is because our most weak function is completely vulnerable to a supervisor's most strong. Has anyone had much experience with this and has anyone ever found a way to reconcile with their supervisors?

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    Quote Originally Posted by goggles View Post
    I think I read somewhere that we are likely to see our supervisor as the personification of all evil and that even when the supervisor does or says nothing we will feel an unpleasant kind of pressure from him/her. This is because our most weak function is completely vulnerable to a supervisor's most strong. Has anyone had much experience with this and has anyone ever found a way to reconcile with their supervisors?
    Actually I tend to get on very well with ENFJs, because they are very explicit about why and we can reach consistent and natural compromises and trust one another to follow through.

    I'm not sure if this due to how extroverted judging melds in two ego positions however.

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    No, goggles, supervision is described as a generally good relationship when the setting is a friendship. It can be worse on the job, because your initiative might constantly be blocked by your supervisor's objections. When there is no specific task to accomplish and money is not at stake, however, friendship can be easily estabilished.
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    Does anyone not get along well with their supervisor?

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    Quote Originally Posted by FDG View Post
    supervision is described as a generally good relationship when the setting is a friendship.
    when the setting is friendship/attraction supervision relationship is somehow rewarding, intense, but toxic at the same time (for both sides, but obviously less for the supervisor).

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    Quote Originally Posted by goggles View Post
    Does anyone not get along well with their supervisor?
    So far I always got along very well with my supervisor.

    It's just, you get the feeling of being inferior to them. But at the same time, they are someone to look up too. A sort of hero.

    If I hadn't known about socionics, but could have picked any person who I most adored, I would be married with an ENFJ.

    But it seems that relationships don't work out to great, or the inferiority feeling gets to overwhelming. so... But for the rest it's a great friendship.

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    Quote Originally Posted by goggles View Post
    Does anyone not get along well with their supervisor?
    I can't remember there being a time when I was at odds with my supervisor. As FDG said, supervisors are good as friends.
    Romantically, the relationship would have a steady decline into stressfulness.

    Sometimes I'll see an ILI using their sense of humor on someone who doesn't find it funny, but I find myself unable to mediate in any way. I'd accredit that more to misunderstanding on the part of the third party, though.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Ritella View Post
    Over here, we'll put up with (almost) all of your crap. You just have to use the secret phrase: "I don't value it. It's related to <insert random element here>, which is not in my quadra."
    Quote Originally Posted by Aquagraph View Post
    Abbie is so boring and rigid it's awesome instead of boring and rigid. She seems so practical and down-to-the-ground.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Director Abbie View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by goggles View Post
    Does anyone not get along well with their supervisor?
    I can't remember there being a time when I was at odds with my supervisor. As FDG said, supervisors are good as friends.
    Romantically, the relationship would have a steady decline into stressfulness.

    Sometimes I'll see an ILI using their sense of humor on someone who doesn't find it funny, but I find myself unable to mediate in any way. I'd accredit that more to misunderstanding on the part of the third party, though.
    Entirely true story. Better as friends for everyone

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    Eie's are very emotional and they like seeing and bringing out in other people which can be a source of conflict when your polr is . I think eie's and betas in general have a sort of pack mentality (us and them) as well and when an eie sees an ili being miserable all by himself he might be like, "what are doing all by yourself you LOSER! Go be miserable by yourself!" and an ili will be like . EIE: "Stop criticizing everything! No one cares what you think..." ILI: More .

    It depends on the individual more than anything, but I see that as something negative that can happen between them.

    polr is even easier. "Why would you want to do that? What are you trying to do? etc."

    Introverted functions as polr is a bit harder. Can you give examples of how and especially manifest themselves in relation to your supervisor? I can kinda guess how works (SLE/ILE: oh I'm left out again . Why?).

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    I think that I would love to have a supervisor. ESTp's are rare. I have never experienced supervision. I think the discription of it sounds very rewarding.

    I would be the supervisor to the ENFp. I do not recall this happening either. It sounds like it is a good thing, as long as it is related to doing something together.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Saberstorm View Post
    ESTp's are rare.
    I wish.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Ritella View Post
    Over here, we'll put up with (almost) all of your crap. You just have to use the secret phrase: "I don't value it. It's related to <insert random element here>, which is not in my quadra."
    Quote Originally Posted by Aquagraph View Post
    Abbie is so boring and rigid it's awesome instead of boring and rigid. She seems so practical and down-to-the-ground.

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    I've been a supervisor to two ILE's growing up and one in a friendship but I've never been supervised (I think) so I can't say how I feel about SEE's in the non-superficial sense, but from a far I tend to find them rather appealing and I feel sense of inferiority to them in a way.
    It's basically the opposite of how I've felt about ILE's, at least the ones in question and it becomes increasingly more so when they try to feed off my Si HA not realizing, or perhaps just not caring, how much I'm in need of it myself despite my attempts at it. I this is what separates it from conflict, where you can at least respect your conflictors ability in their base, in my case, it's their ability to be self-sufficient and externally motivated in a way that ILE's lack (which I do too), and there's a sense of frustration with that

    It's been mentioned before and I agree that being a supervisor to someone whose in a superior position than you (like a boss, teacher or parent/caregiver) is generally more bothersome than in a more "equal" relationship and I think that's because you're more likely to disrespect them and challenge their authority over you (which differs from type to type) and I think the supervisee likely sees the supervisor, in these cases, as being someone who can handle responsibilities that in actuality they're no more able to do than the supervisee
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    Quote Originally Posted by Marie84 View Post
    It's been mentioned before and I agree that being a supervisor to someone whose in a superior position than you (like a boss, teacher or parent/caregiver) is generally more bothersome than in a more "equal" relationship and I think that's because you're more likely to disrespect them and challenge their authority over you (which differs from type to type) and I think the supervisee likely sees the supervisor, in these cases, as being someone who can handle responsibilities that in actuality they're no more able to do than the supervisee
    I agree (my mum is ESE and ARGH, frustration!), but I think it's even worse having your supervisor in a superior position - it's just a feeling of endless criticism that saps away at your self-respect. I know an IEI with an LIE supervisor and it's really unpleasant.
    Quote Originally Posted by Agee The Great View Post
    Nobody here...besides me, seems to know what SLE is except for maybe Maritsa.

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    I don't know who supervises who between EIE and SEI but my EIE daughter said to my SEI son today "I'll supervise you at the pool". LOL She's older than him though too so that makes a difference. They have a strained relationship, overall.

    In general, supervision can be okay. I've been married to my supervisee for 17 years. It's not working out, but we haven't been at each other's throats the either time either. I think there are a lot of other factors. Mostly, we've been friends with common lifestyle and external values. But there's been little internal connection or meaning to our relationship.

    In other words: don't try it.
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    Default ISTp and ESFj supervision

    lately I have seen a lot of this too.

    2 istps guys I know are together with ESFjs. And another ISTp guy and ESFj guy I know have been good friends for a long time.

    Do you think that this particular supervision relation is more favourable than for instance the ENFp and INTj one?
    n00bIEE

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    I've hang out with an LSE for over a year now. He is a funny and nice guy but I feel a little unbalanced around him. Like I will akt in - for me - uncomfortable ways. But everything was almost ok until we started working together, then things got really tense. He wanted to force me into Te mode and I refused. I automatically started to ignore him to get away from his spell over me, and he thought that was strange, not knowing the reason. Now we haven't been working together for a while and things are better, we can chat and laugh again, but things are not really the same anymore. Overall a surprising and confusing "relationship".

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    Quote Originally Posted by goggles View Post
    Eie's are very emotional and they like seeing and bringing out in other people which can be a source of conflict when your polr is . I think eie's and betas in general have a sort of pack mentality (us and them) as well and when an eie sees an ili being miserable all by himself he might be like, "what are doing all by yourself you LOSER! Go be miserable by yourself!" and an ili will be like . EIE: "Stop criticizing everything! No one cares what you think..." ILI: More .

    It depends on the individual more than anything, but I see that as something negative that can happen between them.

    polr is even easier. "Why would you want to do that? What are you trying to do? etc."

    Introverted functions as polr is a bit harder. Can you give examples of how and especially manifest themselves in relation to your supervisor? I can kinda guess how works (SLE/ILE: oh I'm left out again . Why?).
    I have gotten along well with a lot of EIEs I know/have known. There is one EIE I knew where the relation worked similarly to how you described though except it went more like her patronizing and mocking me and me just responding neutrally to her because I couldnt tell if she was mocking me or not (thank you, Fe polr). I actually do think of her as a horrible person. I cant stand being around her. I have also been in another supervisor relation where I got along with the EIE well. We were pretty much friends but I really did view him as the personification of evil, even before I knew him. Everything he did just looked absolutely immoral to me but others didnt seem to mind.

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    Quote Originally Posted by goggles View Post
    Introverted functions as polr is a bit harder. Can you give examples of how and especially manifest themselves in relation to your supervisor? I can kinda guess how works (SLE/ILE: oh I'm left out again . Why?).
    is more like a placeholder than a real function. ILIs value instead of . They don't "hit my PoLR" as far as I know, but they do have that subtle supervision aura of being inherently superior.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Ritella View Post
    Over here, we'll put up with (almost) all of your crap. You just have to use the secret phrase: "I don't value it. It's related to <insert random element here>, which is not in my quadra."
    Quote Originally Posted by Aquagraph View Post
    Abbie is so boring and rigid it's awesome instead of boring and rigid. She seems so practical and down-to-the-ground.

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    I feel uncomfortable around ESTp types. I admire their abilities and wish I could do what they do but I don't want to be around them. I don't view them as evil but I also realize that they can never fully appreciate me and I don't need to feel inadequate which is the way they make me feel.

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    I was around a lot of female ENTjs today. They constantly supervised me and gave invasive life advice that I thought was none of their business, but it was all true things and I listened well to it. It was still draining though, and I'm glad to be back home with IEIs on the internet where we can just be empathy-fags again.

    It wasn't all that bad, because even though they were ENTj they were still stereotypically female in many ways. Male ENTjs are a lot more ruthless, naturally, of course.

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    Quote Originally Posted by goggles View Post
    Does anyone not get along well with their supervisor?
    I clashed with my supervisor; it was a work relationship. Took a year to fully manifest though.

    I wrote a detailed post about it in another thread, i'll have to dig it up and link it here.

    EDIT: http://www.the16types.info/vbulletin...ht=supervision

    Not sure if that was the thread... i may have posted more about it in another thread as well..
    Last edited by Suz; 08-10-2011 at 02:41 AM.
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    supervision relationships are better for friendships than for work, but the ones at work aren't completely terrible either.

    don't forget the tie that binds the ring of supervision: same pattern of thought, either cause and effect, dialectical, vortex, or holographic. this is a substantial binding pattern since the same thought style makes it easy to communicate with your supervisor/supervisee (even your super-ego). This enhances production at work and cut down on misunderstandings.

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    those who are easily shocked.....should be shocked more often

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    My friendship with an LIE, initially very rewarding, went to hell when we moved in together, and it's never been the same. At first it actually GAVE me confidence as I got plenty of approval for using my base function, which I loved, but it soon made me painfully aware of my shortcomings. It also awakened me to my neglected need for Se--this one had particularly strong Se. The relationship lasted four years and wrecked my self-esteem. The sad part was, I lost most of my friends during the time the LIE and I were close as she sort of dominated my attention. Now I mostly socialize with supportive extroverts, the notable exceptions being my ILI best friend who I have this soulmate-like connection with.

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    Don't think I ever met an ILI in real life or bothered to type one or more, but going by this site and things it produced, I wouldn't want to be in one. Better off dead than in a supervisory relationship.

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    you probably get supervised a lot in a put-the-beer-down-sergei way.a poor ILI would be showered in accumulated rage.i've just watched a movie with ryan gosling and kirsten dunst .he plays a delta ST who kills her and delta STs suck.

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    Quote Originally Posted by jennifer View Post
    you probably get supervised a lot in a put-the-beer-down-sergei way.a poor ILI would be showered in accumulated rage.i've just watched a movie with ryan gosling and kirsten dunst .he plays a delta ST who kills her and delta STs suck.
    I don't know what you wrote. Can you rephrase that? And no, I do not watch a lot of films.

    Okay, I get it, I think. Peace and stuff.

    You don't happen to be ILI?

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    i am not ILI ,absurdy

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    Great, I can die now.

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    take the garbage on your way out

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    Quote Originally Posted by jennifer View Post
    take the garbage on your way out
    Sure. You want fries with that?

    Quote Originally Posted by Athww View Post
    Again I wish people were more specific. Like why exactly do you view this person as bad, why don't you want to be around them, what actions, what potentially could happen, if you can recall any convos you had with them word by word. It's a lot to ask but I'm posting this still in case someone can fullfill some of it.
    Majority of people on here are discussing their failed relationships. That's, I think, the biggest building block this forum is composed of and what it has to offer, so birds of a feather flock together.

    As for "convos" on this site, it was like teeth-pulling.
    Last edited by Absurd; 06-17-2012 at 09:45 AM.

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    My supervisor bypasses my judgement and focuses my attention on things that are real, that exist now, or pertain to the experiences they have had in the topics that I'm holding preconceived judgements on, making me feel that I need to watch what I say. That's it.

    Ok, this requires an example...hum...

    Yesterday, I was hanging out with my buddy SEE friend who was helping me bake bread; ok so we had the pressure cooker on the stove and with those things you have to be really careful and follow directions, otherwise you may cause injuries; she had a more confident and direct ability to deal with this intimidating cookwear, while I slowly "walked away from it" when it made the pressure sounds... I was frightened. She was more "go for it" type, periodically raising the pressure valve to release steam, where if it were me, I would have turned the heat off and probably would have cooked whatever needed to be cooked in there the conventional way, using 40 minutes or regular time to do so. I was saying, "turn it off and we'll do it the long way, before we blow ourselves up" and she was trying to encourage me that it would work fine and others have used it before us so we should be ok. Uggg.

    I said something in the regards of applying for grad school, she was more confident to pull the trigger on and I was much more reluctant to deal with reality. She's much more willing to be interactive than I am much more willing to mobilize for action right away.

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    IME supervision is actually a relationship where the supervisor is as supportive as possible of the supervisee (unless relations have somehow soured) but doesn't realize (at least at first) that their support is just a burden on the supervisee, who only becomes self-conscious whenever the supervisor tries to help.

    A common theme I've observed is the supervisor relating to the supervisee quite strongly in two functions: the shared values via the supervisor's creative and supervisee's base function (which can sometimes be the glue that holds them together in the early stages) and the supervisee's frustration with their own role function which the supervisor feels even more vulnerable to and generally sympathizes with their supervisee about, though the feelings here generally aren't mutual. The supervisee actually wishes the supervisor would do something about that function rather than be helpless about it, considering the strength they exhibit in their base, making them seem almost like heroes to their supervisee's otherwise. It's common for supervisors to tell their supervisees that they can relate to them or to simply say "we're so alike," but the supervisee rarely feels the same way after really getting to know them. At first it can be more rewarding for the supervisee than identity, kindred and mirror relations, which can all contain some amount of competition, because the supervisee sort of gets pampered initially in a way they wouldn't in the aforementioned three relations, but in the long run the pain it causes is much more acute and hard to escape.

    The 3-year friendship I had with an LIE deeply changed me and the way I see myself to the point that I can no longer fully relate to the person I was before. It wasn't all bad, but I wouldn't say it was all good either. In a way, it brought me to life. It made me realize how lazy I had been all my life and how weird my ideals were. Prior to knowing the LIE, I had always figured myself pretty damn special and superior to others, and the experience really put me in my place. Now I would say I'm back to feeling similarly, lol, but I'm also a lot more confident; it's not all empty confidence and idealism, there's a backbone to it and I love that aspect of myself. I don't fault the LIE for the trauma that eventually resulted, and in fact I think I love her in a way I've never loved anyone. Not romantically, more like as a totally loyal retainer would his lord. In many ways I think I know her better than anyone else does, but in my position of powerlessness, I can't help her. Every now and then I feel her trying to pull me back in, but it took so much effort and tact to get out from under her "spell" that I feel it more prudent to keep the gap between us quite long.

    I was going to say more, but ran out of steam after rambling. Might after I've had some sleep. So tired now.
    Probably ILI, or IE I/EIE/EII. PM me if you have ideas about my type! Ennagram 2w3 7w8 1w9.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Maritsa Darmandzhyan View Post
    My supervisor bypasses my judgement and focuses my attention on things that are real, that exist now, or pertain to the experiences they have had in the topics that I'm holding preconceived judgements on, making me feel that I need to watch what I say. That's it.

    Ok, this requires an example...hum...

    Yesterday, I was hanging out with my buddy SEE friend who was helping me bake bread; ok so we had the pressure cooker on the stove and with those things you have to be really careful and follow directions, otherwise you may cause injuries; she had a more confident and direct ability to deal with this intimidating cookwear, while I slowly "walked away from it" when it made the pressure sounds... I was frightened. She was more "go for it" type, periodically raising the pressure valve to release steam, where if it were me, I would have turned the heat off and probably would have cooked whatever needed to be cooked in there the conventional way, using 40 minutes or regular time to do so. I was saying, "turn it off and we'll do it the long way, before we blow ourselves up" and she was trying to encourage me that it would work fine and others have used it before us so we should be ok. Uggg.

    I said something in the regards of applying for grad school, she was more confident to pull the trigger on and I was much more reluctant to deal with reality. She's much more willing to be interactive than I am much more willing to mobilize for action right away.
    Great example. Brought this thought to mind...

    The way our identicals handle things compared to the way we handle them is frustrating.
    The way our mirrors handle things compared to the way we handle them is reassuring.
    The way our kindred handle things compared to the way we handle them is fascinating.
    The way our supervisors handle things compared to the way we handle them is frightening.
    Probably ILI, or IE I/EIE/EII. PM me if you have ideas about my type! Ennagram 2w3 7w8 1w9.

  34. #34
    when you see the booty Galen's Avatar
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    All of the INTjs I've known that haven't been total insane dipshits have been fairly fine with me. I suppose I'd say the same for ISFjs I've known, but I haven't known very many. In any case I don't see them being overwhelmed by me as any Ne-monster, at least they don't verbalise any such reactions.
    "And above all, watch with glittering eyes the whole world around you because the greatest secrets are always hidden in the most unlikely places. Those who don't believe in magic will never find it." -Roald Dahl

    http://forum.socionix.com/
    It's pretty cool

  35. #35
    Breaking stereotypes Suz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Galen View Post
    All of the INTjs I've known that haven't been total insane dipshits have been fairly fine with me. I suppose I'd say the same for ISFjs I've known, but I haven't known very many. In any case I don't see them being overwhelmed by me as any Ne-monster, at least they don't verbalise any such reactions.
    In my case it took a year of socializing with the INTj, before the "supervision" manifested and that only happened because we had to work on a project together. The fallout was not pretty.
    Before that I saw her as a (slightly quirky) friend and yes "we are a lot alike" was formerly a common phrase said between us.

    So, Galen, it could just be that you and the INTj's you know just haven't had to work closely enough to manifest the badness of the intertype. Or they might be thinking the bad stuff and you just dont know. That did happen between myself and the INTj I knew... and I wouldnt' have found out had I not heard about the rumors she'd been spreading about me from a friend.
    Enneagram: 9w1 6w5 2w3 so/sx

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