I have decided to write things which I believe are unique to me.
A lot of what others have written can apply to anyone.
I can't maintain any routine last week I was getting up and 5:00 AM and doing and hour of cardio and going to bed at 8:30.
Then I had family come to stay and went to bed at the same time but didn't get up until 9:00 AM I Couldn't motive myself to do my cardio.
There are some days I don't brush my teeth at all I often get side tracked it's not like I don't realize either I am 100% aware but just tell myself I will start again tomorrow. I wish someone could just give me a kick in the ass so I can get things done.
The weird thing is I have so much energy once I start something but have some much trouble taking the first step.
I don't feel close to anyone I like people but often feel numb I could move tomorrow and leave everything and everyone I know behind I wouldn't miss them that much.
I often don't do much or go out I only choose to socialize with people that I have an emotional connection with. Yet I am polite well mannered respective can talk to anyone and often respected by all.
I might be upset with someone and nothing know why I can see them the next day and not understand why I was upset with them. If I don't see them for months or years my dislike can grow into something toxic and the when I see them I forget all the negative feelings I had and think to myself "This person isn't as bad as I thought"
There are something I just want to lie in a lovers arms I am still a virgin and plan to be until I get married I am only aroused when I have an emotional connection anyway.
I have the fantasy to be taken by the hand and guided completely surrender to my partner. not that S&M bullcrap although I would probably try it.
Thats all for now.