hello, darling. long fancy type please. whatever you come up with i'll put in my sig for at least a little while so please dont fuck it up
i cant copy and paste your questions so it will be like a narrative. hope you dont mind.
im not unsure of my type, im just having fun. i yearn to be inspired and engaged and interested because a lot of things are boring and always the same. im having trouble thinking of when i was at my finest because i look back and see times when i was at my finest in certain areas, but not necessarily just in general - like when i did great academically or when i was super rigorous about my health - but nothing sticks out as being a particularly shining moment and i guess i dont know how to prioritize which of my fine behaviors would be the finest, lol. not having a drivers license because driving terrifies me makes me feel inferior. not keeping up with the news and the sort of things normal people pay attention to in order to have adult conversations makes me feel inferior. when making a decision i guess i tend to go with whatever is safest for myself and the people i care about. i rarely take risks. basically whatever makes the most sense for survival.
when working on a project my emphasis tends strongly to be on keeping track of the different parts, making sure things are cohesive and organized, monitoring what has been covered and what hasnt. it is important for me to feel in control of the outcome and when working on something i have a stake in i tend to be more assertive and directive than usual. i think i had the most fun when i was a teenager and i felt careless about consequences, lol. when i felt like i could just act without thinking and i didnt really worry because i felt like i had all the time in the world for things to sort themselves out. i learn best, i think, by doing something with the information on my own. writing about it, acting on it, etc. using what ive taken in.
i have the capability to be very strongly organized. i dont always use it. i used to be extremely anal about things like having everything alphabetical, my clothes color coordinated, etc. but i dont make the time for that anymore. i still find organization to be instrinsically pleasing but atm ive been lazy about organizing even the important things because i get bored and distracted, my mind isnt quite the same as it used to be. when judging new ideas i need to have a grasp of the principles for them to be cohesive in my mind and they also need to be coherent with other, visible information for me to see the point.
im going past my lunch break...ill continue later (unless you think this is enough). thank ya!