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Thread: Types and Anger

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    Default Types and Anger

    I wonder how each type uses anger and how often. For myself I rarely get pissed off, but when I do I'm on fire and can cause some damage psychologically. Best way to describe it is having a nuke attached to several mile long fuse.

    I've seen types use anger as a way to control people and I've seen ESEs get angry over misunderstandings. I'm curious to what you guys think about this subject.
    "Nothing happens until the pain of staying the same outweighs the pain of change."

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    IEEs get angry over misunderstandings. XIIs don't get angry. They can get quite annoyed, though.

    When my SEI brother gets angry, he screams and I have to translate for him. When my SLE brother gets angry, he insults everybody's intelligence.

    I bark when I see something that needs done. I explode if I keep barking and it doesn't do anything. I burst into flames if someone does permanent damage to my territory.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Ritella View Post
    Over here, we'll put up with (almost) all of your crap. You just have to use the secret phrase: "I don't value it. It's related to <insert random element here>, which is not in my quadra."
    Quote Originally Posted by Aquagraph View Post
    Abbie is so boring and rigid it's awesome instead of boring and rigid. She seems so practical and down-to-the-ground.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Ashton View Post
    I anger quickly, but it dissipates quickly once I've vented
    Same here. Unless I've burst into flames. Then I may seethe.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Ritella View Post
    Over here, we'll put up with (almost) all of your crap. You just have to use the secret phrase: "I don't value it. It's related to <insert random element here>, which is not in my quadra."
    Quote Originally Posted by Aquagraph View Post
    Abbie is so boring and rigid it's awesome instead of boring and rigid. She seems so practical and down-to-the-ground.

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    I am releasing it [anger], not all the time, but in most cases I manage to, can't stay in such a state of mind for long though, so I try to change it by doing something pleasurable, like something new, and it works.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Absurd View Post
    I try to change it by doing something pleasurable, like something new, and it works.
    How do you know something new will be pleasurable?

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    Quote Originally Posted by Ritella View Post
    Over here, we'll put up with (almost) all of your crap. You just have to use the secret phrase: "I don't value it. It's related to <insert random element here>, which is not in my quadra."
    Quote Originally Posted by Aquagraph View Post
    Abbie is so boring and rigid it's awesome instead of boring and rigid. She seems so practical and down-to-the-ground.

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    I never get angry. If anything goes wrong im just immediatly thinking how i can fix it. I can play aggression or act angry though. People who get angry on trivial shit that doesnt matter usually just arise the passion in me to laugh at them

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    I never really get angry.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Director Abbie View Post
    How do you know something new will be pleasurable?
    By doing it. What are you ? Severed off any practicalness ?

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    Quote Originally Posted by Absurd View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Director Abbie View Post
    How do you know something new will be pleasurable?
    By doing it. What are you ? Severed off any practicalness ?
    It seems silly to be to do something new because you need something pleasurable. You'd be more likely to get a pleasurable activity if you did something you have experienced as being pleasurable than if you take the risk of not liking what you try.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Ritella View Post
    Over here, we'll put up with (almost) all of your crap. You just have to use the secret phrase: "I don't value it. It's related to <insert random element here>, which is not in my quadra."
    Quote Originally Posted by Aquagraph View Post
    Abbie is so boring and rigid it's awesome instead of boring and rigid. She seems so practical and down-to-the-ground.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Vois View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by NewBorn STAR View Post
    I never get angry. If anything goes wrong im just immediatly thinking how i can fix it. I can play aggression or act angry though. People who get angry on trivial shit that doesnt matter usually just arise the passion in me to laugh at them
    Well then say hello to your greatest source of humor
    "HAHAHA"


    LSI. Please do tell how did you arrive to this conclusion. Your suckiness at typing yourself points towards you being either nf or someone with mental dysfunctions. LIKe I WHO WAS INSANEEE. And you relating to my manic writing so much, makes it likely for you too. Helou insanity

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    I get fantastically angry when things aren't "right", usually when people aren't thinking straight or striving for rationality. Insane troll logic really gets my knickers in a knot.

    I have a hair trigger temper when it comes to that. Rest of the time, I simply cannot be made angry. I don't really use my anger; it uses me.
    Know I'm mistyped?


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    Quote Originally Posted by Vois View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by NewBorn STAR View Post

    "HAHAHA"


    LSI. Please do tell how did you arrive to this conclusion. Your suckiness at typing yourself points towards you being either nf or someone with mental dysfunctions. LIKe I WHO WAS INSANEEE. And you relating to my manic writing so much, makes it likely for you too. Helou insanity
    Why the sarcastic laughter? That was meant to be a joke on myself (because I tend to get mad at small things, even though I don't want to. It doesn't last though). I mean, I'm sure the joke wasn't funny. But I just want to clarify, that I wasn't trying to insult you or anything.

    I related to stuff you wrote because there were some good ideas, even if it was manic.
    I am much more confident with logic than I am with ethics, even though I tend to try to use ethics more, publicly, for whatever reason. I always have been.
    There are more reasons, but I want to wait to see how you respond to this, first.

    Oh, and I have never been diagnosed with anything, nor has anyone who's met me ever suspected anything. For all I know, I could be insane, but I have no reason to believe that I am.
    I thought that to be the way to greet my greatest source of humour. And yes i got your reference.´I dont get offended. And i tend to be quite crude myself. Hope you can bear with me.
    I agree though. Im not far off from thinking what i thought back then. Im more calmed down yes. But my goal is pretty much the same. Logic for me too, now that i have calmed down im not so overly excitable and its easy to distinguish that i use TI far more than any ethical instrument.

    If you have no reason to believe then no reason to start doubt either. I just threw the comment in. I could see ISTJ-FE for you. Also the way you answered my reply. Reminds me of an istj friend of mine. So seems good

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    Quote Originally Posted by Director Abbie View Post
    It seems silly to be to do something new because you need something pleasurable. You'd be more likely to get a pleasurable activity if you did something you have experienced as being pleasurable than if you take the risk of not liking what you try.
    Haha, so far the things I do are pleasurable or do you think otherwise and yea, I do take risks.

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    I suppose anger can be like fuel - handled correctly, it can drive you on pretty well, but when things light up too fast and too widespread, then you've got an explosion on your hands!

    I don't want anyone to see that happen, much less get caught in the warpath - a Se-SLE saw me go berzerk and it wasn't a good sight, but I'm glad it was an Se-SLE, it would have looked absolutely awful to almost anyone else... and the thing is, the "line" was absolutely out of nowhere, both in going over and in coming back, it was all over as suddenly as it started, and I just happily went about my business...

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    I think I suffer from mild PMS at times and feel kind of angry/irritated inside during those times. I usually vent irritation as it arises, to myself. Irritation arises due to stress mostly. I do sometimes end up snapping at people... I remember one time I was in a store and this person who works there who's overly helpful asked if I needed help finding anything and I said I didn't. Then he appeared to be following me around (and I probably do look confused but it's because I'm trying to figure out what I even want) and then asked me again and I said "no" and then he decided to tell me there were some items in one of the freezers and I just wanted to get away from him. As I was wandering around, I felt like he was still following me and I was beginning to feel harassed. I managed to lose him but then later he showed up again and asked if I needed help finding anything and I had a little outburst of "no! just leave me alone!" I felt better at first after this because I felt I'd stood up to him. Then I began feeling bad about it shortly after as I wondered if there was something wrong with his brain or something, or what his problem exactly was or if he was even aware of what he was doing and I know that in his job he's supposed to ask these things, but surely not several times to the same person or late at night when the secret shoppers won't be there to record his "performance." Anyway there's also a history with this person... I really can't stand him any time I'm in that store. If it weren't the nearest grocery store I might go to a different one just to get away from him.

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    Quote Originally Posted by woofwoofl View Post
    I suppose anger can be like fuel - handled correctly, it can drive you on pretty well, but when things light up too fast and too widespread, then you've got an explosion on your hands!

    I don't want anyone to see that happen, much less get caught in the warpath - a Se-SLE saw me go berzerk and it wasn't a good sight, but I'm glad it was an Se-SLE, it would have looked absolutely awful to almost anyone else... and the thing is, the "line" was absolutely out of nowhere, both in going over and in coming back, it was all over as suddenly as it started, and I just happily went about my business...
    That seems to be the correct way to use anger woof. I kind of hate how I'm kind of an all or nothing kind of person when it comes to anger, which isn't the best way to use it.
    "Nothing happens until the pain of staying the same outweighs the pain of change."

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    Quote Originally Posted by Director Abbie View Post
    XIIs don't get angry. They can get quite annoyed, though.
    I would agree, though I can get angry, most often it's just annoyance and being irritated. Mainly the thought process being that "everything's too stressful, can't I just give up and go home and not have to keep doing whatever's causing annoyance?" Not to say I don't get angry, but the cause is often me being annoyed at people.

    Wait. Why do other people get angry?
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    i can get plenty angry, which is probably the thing thats made me question the eii9 thing the most. but when i look at other people it seems to be out in the atmosphere more often. i often reflexively hold back due to not having a "good enough reason" or wanting to wait it out and see if unfolding events give me reason to not be upset after all - and this can make my protests look way out of proportion when they finally do emerge (sometimes, though, i really do get over it while waiting). my default mode is mostly patient i think, but i can be snippy and passive aggressive and occassionally explosive. i used to be a lot worse with my temper. i think most of the things that i get angriest about come back to frustration about feeling invalidated or controlled in some way, but im not sure.

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    > I wonder how each type uses anger and how often.

    For myself, I'm constantly irritated...which in itself is irritating.
    But few people actually see it.
    Those who deal with me on a regular basis will see me do a quick outburst of cursing. This is usually as I'm trying to solve a problem that I keep failing at solving...such as computer viruses...grrrr.

    My daughter (ESFp) and I (ENFp) both tend to explode at each other when we feel we that the other is completely missing the point. It's a quick burst, then we cut each other off and go our separate ways for a few minutes. She'll rant and rave in her room...I'll rant and rave in mine. Once the frustration is out of our system, we turn back to each other and will either calmly talk back through trying to be understood AND trying to understand the other's viewpoint. This helps us both feel understood AND helps us figure out what the misunderstanding was.

    People who aren't familiar with how she and I react to each other will stress out. Usually because they are thinking that this is something out of the blue happening, rather than it being a build up of past conflicts on similar contexts. Usually they also have a difficult time with how quickly we restore our relationship and continue on as if nothing had happened. This used to stress out my INFp brother and later my ISFp partner. But while they both disagree with it, they don't stress out about it much anymore...because they now know that it's typical for her and I.

    I would say that for her and I, the outburst is a way of releasing built up negative emotion..rather than letting it simmer and stew into something more damaging. It's short term, here and gone, anger rather than something that will damage the relationship long term.

    For me, when I'm well and truly pissed...I get really quiet, really focused, and really ready to be truthfully blunt...not caring if your feelings are hurt or not.

    I'm sure that when I was younger I may have briefly tried the tactic of saying things to deliberately hurt the person I was angry at. But I can't remember if/when I did or not. I do know that I feel that doing so will cause further stress down the road, and create ill-will in the relationship. And...it doesn't really help me feel better to put another person down.

    When my daughter was younger, she tried the "I Hate You!!" thing. My response was to throw her stuff I was holding at her feet and told her "fine, find your own way home" and left the building to go rant and rave in the car. My brother was with her, else I wouldn't have left her alone. The shock of my response brought it home to her real quick that that was NOT the way to behave when angry. And it brought home to her that there was a difference between being angry at someone, but still wanting them in your life..vs hating someone and wanting them gone. She has never pulled anything like that again, and has never tried to manipulate my emotions like that again when we're doing our angry outburst thing.

    I don't respond well to blatant manipulation attempts like that. It pisses me off..which puts me into quiet blunt truth mode...and usually ends the friendship.

    I'm also really sure I used to throw things when angry, though I can't remember any particular instance of that. I know I've had the impulse to throw something through a window, or to smash a wall or such. But the damage done would just cause more stress, so I refrain. Actually, I think that I may have used to physically damage things up until a point when I slammed my hand onto the top of my little truck I had. It dented the top. I hadn't thought I had hit it that hard. And to see it just crumble like that brought me out of the anger and into shock. Since then, when I get the impulse to hurt something, the image of the dent comes to mind, and while still feeling the impulse, I'm able to refrain.

    Richard (ISFp) tends to damage things when he's doing an angry outburst. He'll damage something, get pissed because now he's still got the one thing that caused the anger but now this new thing as well. So then he'll damage something else..and the cycle continues until he's worked himself up into a frenzy. Thankfully he doesn't get angry often. And I've been learning how to get him to refrain from damaging something.

    My brother (INFp) will say things that hurt and/or he'll cut off all ties...leaving it to the other person to try to make ammends or not. He's described it a few times as 'training the other person in how to treat him'...what will work and what won't work.
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    My anger doesn't really show itself anymore. When I'm frustrated with something I tend to keep it pushed down and pretend that I'm not as phased by it as I am; apparently that's a disintegration to 3 thing. When I was a lot younger I'd tend to explode more often, generally when it came to be not doing as well as I wanted to be in video games. But I do find nowadays that if my sense of justice or what's right/wrong is challenged, I'll get much more vocal and explosive about the problem. I actually kinda like to be angry about those sorts of things, because I get to go into my E6 "holy knight" persona and feel like I'm doing some good.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Galen View Post
    When I'm frustrated with something I tend to keep it pushed down and pretend that I'm not as phased by it as I am; apparently that's a disintegration to 3 thing.
    That's interesting, I do act under its influence, just to let off steam, feel better after mentally, not so physically though.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Cat King Cole View Post
    I get fantastically angry when things aren't "right", usually when people aren't thinking straight or striving for rationality. Insane troll logic really gets my knickers in a knot.
    So are you the kind of person who sits in front of their computer looking when you're being trolled?

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    I read a psychology book on emotions. The chapter about anger mentioned that people can get angry when they are denied something they want. The author mentioned the difference between explosive anger, implosive anger and gradual anger. Any type can relate to that.

    Personally I can get angry easily with my students who are disruptive in class.
    I can get angry with my friends when they tease me or push my buttoms too much.

    I'm easily angered by people I care most about. Family members can piss me off easily and since their family I'm most comfortable expressing my anger.

    Undoutedly, women have angered me the most but that is more to do with passion.

    I get angry at myself from time to time whenever I fuck up.

    I hardly get angry with machinery or technology or circumstance like missing a bus, etc. I can get angry at another's misfortune or mistreatment like when someone is being picked on or bullied.

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    I already know that my physical presence probably won't be enough to intimidate anybody, I'm too soft-

    So I just use what I'm best at: writing, and I'll write a story about them getting back at them, maybe ruin their social reputation for 2 weeks to make them think about what they did to people.

    I'm just more of a spellcaster. =p

    I have to be pushed off the edge to do that though. Most rants in my 16types novel I wasn't really pissed at anybody although a few people took it the wrong way. I'm not really proud of myself when I do this, but we all do socially inappropriate things when we're pissed off. That's kinda the point. If somebody thinks my softness is a weakness and tries to take advantage of it, then I'll just write them as a villain in a story until I feel better. =p

    Earlier my parents were like 'Please don't write about us!' it was cute. Oh well, God gave me a lot of power in my writing cause physically I come across as too cute, shy and introverted to be a threat at all. I'm like Dark Willow when I turn evil, or maybe like Dark Johnathon.

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    Quote Originally Posted by BulletsAndDoves View Post
    If somebody thinks my softness is a weakness and tries to take advantage of it, then I'll just write them as a villain in a story until I feel better.
    Write in your play "Obersturmführer has only one marble".

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    I rarely show anger or even get angry; when I am furious or start crying in the hopes that the person will have some empathy and stop doing what they are doing to make me so angry, I walk away. Simple. But, if I love someone and I'm angry, I want them to know why, so I'll often tell them why I'm angry and I often want them to not repeat the offense and if they do, I'll teach them again, patiently, and if they do again, I'll adapt and not mind them, and if they do again, I won't remind them of when they did it the last time.

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    I get angry but it comes in flashes that don't last long. Lots of things can make me angry - when people seem to ignore me, or intentionally "misunderstand" me, or try to manipulate me, or try to make me obligated to do something I don't want to do and don't feel I should have to do. Probably other things too.
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    I don't really get 'angry.' I just get really passionate for short bursts. I'm pretty good about calming myself down once I recognize it.
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    anger n a strong feeling of displeasure and belligerence aroused by a wrong

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    Quote Originally Posted by Ritella View Post
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    Quote Originally Posted by Aquagraph View Post
    Abbie is so boring and rigid it's awesome instead of boring and rigid. She seems so practical and down-to-the-ground.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Director Abbie View Post
    anger n a strong feeling of displeasure and belligerence aroused by a wrong
    I'm feeling very passionate at you right now.

    On a serious note.. Technically I guess I can get angry pretty easily, but it's rarely if ever the hatred kind of anger if that makes sense. I don't have any ill feelings toward the person. I just get worked up. Generally, I view it as pointless, so I suppress the feeling and try to work things out more constructively which is more alleviating in the end anyway.
    3w4-5w6-9w8

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    strangeling's Avatar
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    I've had moments of explosive anger in my life. One person was afraid I would be abusive (I shoved them multiple times in frustration) and they decided they wanted nothing to do with me ever again (which was rather sad for me). But I think it's enneagram six related. It fits the unhealthy aspects of an enneagram six.

    I'm sort of afraid of my anger; if I get mad, I get anxious that I'm mad. I think it fits Fi though.

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