Vote and discuss.
Would you rather be liked or admired?
Vote and discuss.
IEI-Fe 4w3
When I saw this statement somewhere "choose whether you want to be liked or admired" I realized that although it's nice to be liked, that's not really what I care about, in the real world. I'd rather have people be a little afraid of me or in awe, even if I'm lonelier than those people who have a million friends. Even if people are outwardly critical but inwardly jealous.
IEI-Fe 4w3
If you're liked, everything is cool. But you can lose this affection very easily, since both persons (you and the other people who like you) are on par so to speak. It depends solely on the arbitrariness of the others if they like you or don't. However, if you're amired (and a little feared, as redbaron said) it's much less likely that you lose this status since others may regard you as superior in your skills for example. I think most reasons to admire someone are independent of the sympathy towards the person who is admired.
I think I read that in Machiavelli's The Prince and I agree with that. Being admired > being liked.
„Man can do what he wants but he cannot want what he wants.“
– Arthur Schopenhauer
Admired, by a hair. I very much like both.
Beta.
What do these signs mean—,
, etc.? Why cannot socionists use symbols Ne, Ni etc. as in MBTI? Just because they have somewhat different meaning. Socionics and MBTI, each in its own way, have slightly modified the original Jung's description of his 8 psychological types. For this reason,
Just one example: in MBTI, Se (extraverted sensing) is associated with life pleasures, excitement etc. By contrast, the socionic function(extraverted sensing) is first and foremost associated with control and expansion of personal space (which sometimes can manifest in excessive aagression, but often also manifests in a capability of managing lots of people and things).
For this reason, we consider comparison between MBTI types and socionic types by functions to be rather useless than useful.
-Victor Gulenko, Dmitri Lytov
Admired. Not everyone in the world is going to like you. By taking any strong stance, you're going to piss people off. Being liked is for the weak. Being admired is being confident enough to stand up for the values you truly believe in.
Look at any celebrity. Yes, they've annoyed some people, but they're successful. And they've pursued what they were passionate about. And they have followers. Some are generally nicer than others, but every successful person was willing to be bold and pursue their dreams, even if it meant not being liked.
"You can please some of the people some of the time, some of the people all of the time, all of the people some of the time, but you can't please all of the people all of the time!"
My IEE Mom would say the same.Originally Posted by CILi
IEI-Fe 4w3
Oh I don't care.
“Whether we fall by ambition, blood, or lust, like diamonds we are cut with our own dust.”
Former I guess.
I think you get used to that over time.
Agreed.
Sure, but... What's the point in being liked by everyone but not taken seriously at all for example?
„Man can do what he wants but he cannot want what he wants.“
– Arthur Schopenhauer
Dude, you're so like... the opposite of me.
Hey, don't insult my dual.
Standing up for what you believe in is something very valuable to me personally, but I don't see why you would equate it with being admired. It's just something that some people admire. Definitely not the main and all-encompassing reason(/basis) for being admired, as you generalized it.
“Whether we fall by ambition, blood, or lust, like diamonds we are cut with our own dust.”
Simply being admired by people seems kind of unfulfilling to me. They'd only be appreciating me for the things I do, not who I am as a human being (unless we have a different definition of admiration in mind than what I'm putting forth).
I guess it mostly has to do with who is doing the admiring or liking, and if I admire or like the other person back. If it's a one-sided admiration or a one-sided liking from the other party to myself them I'm not going to be that comfortable with it.
Admired, getting people to like you is low effort and low pay off. You actually have to be worth a damn to be admired.
Easy Day
admired. it's been said that only a few people reallly like you anyway. mostly, people either feel neutral or dislike you.
ILE
those who are easily shocked.....should be shocked more often
Tell me how much you people voting admired are worth and I'll tell you how much I'm going to pay for you. Oh yea, I do dislike some and do like some, I see no reason for former getting to actually like me, quite the opposite.
Either one is fine with me.
Oh, I have several in mind when I think about it. For example see this:
He's right about that. People sometimes just like others because they have fun with them or might even laugh about them. Okay, this is probably not your definition of "liking someone", but it's still a part of that. It's also not easy for some people to get others to like them, it depends. But admiring someone always includes respect imho, even if said admired person might be an "enemy" or has a totally different ideology.
„Man can do what he wants but he cannot want what he wants.“
– Arthur Schopenhauer
Wow. 6 Admired Beta, 5 Liked Delta
I personally chose admired. Just cause honestly, I think IRL I *am* admired more than I'm liked. I think I'm a polarizing person. I think most Beta extraverts are. Liked.. eh, whatever.. can't please everyone and it brings to mind no sense of power/strength of character that Beta does.
I think you've come across a really good indicator of Quadra with this question..
I think it comes down to the
Poor betas! Oops, did I say it out loud ?
I think I'd rather be liked. Admiration just seems like so much effort. I mean I could be admired if I don't have to deal with it, admired from afar without my knowing, but only because this would mean I'm liked more. So really I value being liked more. I see admiration as something that can enhance being liked and so it has its value there... but if I imagine having one without the other, then I think I'd rather be liked because I think I feel better when I'm liked.
Admiration is pretty and attractive, but I also see it as destructive. It would be difficult to sail that ship since it seems so easy to encounter the dangers. For instance, considering some quite famous celebrities... I see admiration as the worst thing they have to deal with (it's one of the prices they pay for everything else; another price is possibly ending up a slave to materialism). Anyway having to deal with all the fans would definitely, imo, suck. Especially considering that most of them don't even know you and they only worship their images of you... and that worship can easily turn to envy and hate. I definitely wouldn't want to have to deal with that. I prefer being invisible to the masses so I don't have to deal with them. And if I were an actor (as an example of someone who can end up being a celebrity) I would try to aim for roles that wouldn't land me in fame, and I think I would probably prefer niches where I could be personally fulfilled by my roles but just maybe not that many people would see my performances, or would be liable to think the film/production sucked if they did see it... But it wouldn't suck enough that I can't continue getting paid from it. Some actors actually pull this off, though I don't know how often it was intended. I'd have to be interested in my characters and roles and the stories themselves though, as otherwise it wouldn't be worth it. Anyway I think celebrity shows some of the dangers of admiration: fly away narcissism for the one being admired; and worship of people as god-objects to fill one's own insecurities and emptiness for the admirers where admiration can turn to envy/hate as the flip-side that can sometimes fill those holes up better.
Anyway maybe I'm more prone to admiring or being in awe of certain very few others. But I'm naturally very wary of that as well because I fear turning someone else into "God" as then I won't really like them anymore. I won't even really care about them because God is only there to put up with my crap and indulge my fantasies because God is infinitely powerful. And no person is infinitely powerful. Anyway I look over admiration with both skepticism that I'm even feeling it and wariness about what it may mean. The other curious area is self-admiration. I do have some desire to grow my own holiness and I'm awaiting any decision about whether or not I think that's disturbing. But I like being holy to myself and I think I perhaps wish to be more holy. I'm not sure how to describe what I even mean by "holy".
As for others and whether or not they like admiration I can't really say anything I feel about that. I mean sometimes it's cute or adorable. However I think I very much like to avoid those who are totally full of themselves and have managed to amass some sort of worshiping circle. I'm not going to worship anyone. Anyway maybe this isn't exactly narcissism... but people can get addicted to having everyone worship them and I guess I sort of think "have fun with that" about it.
All that said I've felt jealous of others several times when watching the special features to movies/tv shows. And I don't think it's about admiration so much as my wishing to be holy. But I feel it's related. I'm also at an all-time low in terms of being aware of most anyone outside of me. I mean for instance as a teenager there were times I wanted to be popular, but again I think this just meant "well-liked". Maybe the thing about being holy is like being worthy of admiration without having to deal with actual admiration. I don't know. I'm now confusing myself.
Adding on, I agree that admiration can just end up being lonely and although I seem to often want to be alone, I don't really want to be lonely.
Maybe I'm just being picky, but I prefer the word respected over admired. Someone can admire you for things totally outside of your control, but won't respect you for them.
I usually find it easy to earn people's respect. It's not so easy for me to be liked, and even when I am, I'm never quite sure that I am. People's opinions can be so fickle on that. But respect once earned doesn't dissipate quickly unless you do something really stupid.
It would be cool to have people like me easily - beta NFs are really good at getting people to like them and every once in awhile I'm kind of envious of that, but I really do prefer having respect more.
I think admired. I guess because I can pinpoint actual reasons.
It has quite a lot of meanings depending on situation. Squark likes respect better, for instance, and respect is something earned. I don't know, someone says it is an offering to one's perfection and dominion, etc.
Like is like to me, no matter how convulted it sounds.
Liked implies there's a close relationship. Admiration is others detached observing of you. Obviously being liked has more benefits.
Not bad.
i think this is what people are thinking. but people are substituting "respect" for the word "admiration" and conflating the two as if being liked does not imply being respected.
most people are used to having people at least pretend to like them all the time - coworkers, service workers, etc. - so its probably seen as cheaper than it really is. being liked is not the default thing. it has to be earned just as admiration does.
being admired but disliked is like jerking off to your own pride alone on a mountain somewhere. theres no point to it. would you want to have no friends, no lovers, except for people who hang around because they admire you, even though they dislike you? argh people
If there was a reason, then I guess they'll only like you as long as that reason is true.I had the same reaction as well.
When people say they like me, it's a confusing grey area for me. Because I'll want to know "why?" but then there really isn't a why.I usually find it easy to earn people's respect. It's not so easy for me to be liked, and even when I am, I'm never quite sure that I am. People's opinions can be so fickle on that. But respect once earned doesn't dissipate quickly unless you do something really stupid.
Yup
Stan is not my real name.
I don't need to be admired. I don't care if people would do things how I do them or like how I do things or what I do. I do, however, need connections with other people who genuinely like me.
It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble. It's what you know for sure that just ain't so.-Mark Twain
You can't wake a person who is pretending to be asleep.
feared > liked > admired.
being admired but disliked is like jerking off to your own pride alone on a mountain somewhere. theres no point to it. would you want to have no friends, no lovers, except for people who hang around because they admire you, even though they dislike you?I tend to agree with these statements. To me "like" is the key element. I mean considering the ways in which admiration contributes to liking, I would say that liking takes a loss if there can be no admiration. But if there is no liking period then there is no point in admiration even existing (it is worth nothing and becomes a piss-poor substitute for someone actually liking or caring about you).Liked implies there's a close relationship. Admiration is others detached observing of you. Obviously being liked has more benefits.
--
Also I wonder how often "like" is still the value in some people's posts. It's almost like some arguments seem to be saying that admiration is the thing of greater value because it ensures people will continue to like you, whereas without it they don't have a "reason" to continue to like you. And I don't think I see things this way. I mean I think that admiration enhances and supports liking sometimes, but I think people really can just like you because they just feel some affinity or affection for you or perhaps they feel better around or with you... I mean there are probably so many things that create the feeling that you can't really dissect it down to an answer. It's like why do you "fall in love with someone" is it because you admire them and they meet your 20-point criteria or is it more that the feelings just arise and you can't really find these kinds of reasons.
One big family, I like it.
If people are voting they want to be admired because it will make them more liked, they really arent' answering the question. It isn't "do you want to be admired AND liked, or just liked but not admired" or we'd all answer "admired AND liked" obviously. It's one or the other. Would you rather be admired but not liked, or liked but not admired.
It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble. It's what you know for sure that just ain't so.-Mark Twain
You can't wake a person who is pretending to be asleep.
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