View Poll Results: Would you rather be liked or admired?

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  • Liked. Alpha

    7 10.14%
  • Admired. Alpha

    11 15.94%
  • Liked. Beta

    5 7.25%
  • Admired. Beta

    13 18.84%
  • Liked. Gamma

    6 8.70%
  • Admired. Gamma

    7 10.14%
  • Liked. Delta

    13 18.84%
  • Admired. Delta

    7 10.14%
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Thread: Would you rather be liked or admired?

  1. #1
    redbaron's Avatar
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    Default Would you rather be liked or admired?

    Vote and discuss.
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    When I saw this statement somewhere "choose whether you want to be liked or admired" I realized that although it's nice to be liked, that's not really what I care about, in the real world. I'd rather have people be a little afraid of me or in awe, even if I'm lonelier than those people who have a million friends. Even if people are outwardly critical but inwardly jealous.
    IEI-Fe 4w3

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    not a bumblebee octo's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by redbaron View Post
    When I saw this statement somewhere "choose whether you want to be liked or admired" I realized that although it's nice to be liked, that's not really what I care about, in the real world. I'd rather have people be a little afraid of me or in awe, even if I'm lonelier than those people who have a million friends. Even if people are outwardly critical but inwardly jealous.
    I totally agree, admiration is awesome. I think I'm more liked than admired though, it's more natural for me. For the SLE bf it's the other way around, although he'd never admit how much he just wants people to like him and not be scared
    Quote Originally Posted by Agee The Great View Post
    Nobody here...besides me, seems to know what SLE is except for maybe Maritsa.

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    If you're liked, everything is cool. But you can lose this affection very easily, since both persons (you and the other people who like you) are on par so to speak. It depends solely on the arbitrariness of the others if they like you or don't. However, if you're amired (and a little feared, as redbaron said) it's much less likely that you lose this status since others may regard you as superior in your skills for example. I think most reasons to admire someone are independent of the sympathy towards the person who is admired.

    I think I read that in Machiavelli's The Prince and I agree with that. Being admired > being liked.
    „Man can do what he wants but he cannot want what he wants.“
    – Arthur Schopenhauer

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    Admired, by a hair. I very much like both.

    Beta.
    What do these signs mean—, , etc.? Why cannot socionists use symbols Ne, Ni etc. as in MBTI? Just because they have somewhat different meaning. Socionics and MBTI, each in its own way, have slightly modified the original Jung's description of his 8 psychological types. For this reason, (Ne) is not exactly the same as Ne in MBTI.

    Just one example: in MBTI, Se (extraverted sensing) is associated with life pleasures, excitement etc. By contrast, the socionic function (extraverted sensing) is first and foremost associated with control and expansion of personal space (which sometimes can manifest in excessive aagression, but often also manifests in a capability of managing lots of people and things).

    For this reason, we consider comparison between MBTI types and socionic types by functions to be rather useless than useful.

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  6. #6
    Creepy-Snaps

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    Admired. Not everyone in the world is going to like you. By taking any strong stance, you're going to piss people off. Being liked is for the weak. Being admired is being confident enough to stand up for the values you truly believe in.

    Look at any celebrity. Yes, they've annoyed some people, but they're successful. And they've pursued what they were passionate about. And they have followers. Some are generally nicer than others, but every successful person was willing to be bold and pursue their dreams, even if it meant not being liked.

    "You can please some of the people some of the time, some of the people all of the time, all of the people some of the time, but you can't please all of the people all of the time!"

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    Quote Originally Posted by CILi View Post
    Liked > Admired.

    I tend to play down traits/skills/stuff I could be admired for solely to be liked.

    IME, being distanced from people (even for something as positive as admiration) feels pretty much like the worst thing in the world.
    My IEE Mom would say the same.
    IEI-Fe 4w3

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    choosing admired seems short-sighted to me. what would be point of being admired by everyone if you're all alone because nobody likes you anyway? what a life.

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    Oh I don't care.
    “Whether we fall by ambition, blood, or lust, like diamonds we are cut with our own dust.”

    Quote Originally Posted by Gilly
    You've done yourself a huge favor developmentally by mustering the balls to do something really fucking scary... in about the most vulnerable situation possible.

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    Former I guess.

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    Lol yeah octopuslove.

    Too bad its always the opposite way around. People tend to like IEIs & admire SLEs.

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    Quote Originally Posted by CILi View Post
    IME, being distanced from people (even for something as positive as admiration) feels pretty much like the worst thing in the world.
    I think you get used to that over time.

    Quote Originally Posted by Mountain Dew View Post
    Not everyone in the world is going to like you. By taking any strong stance, you're going to piss people off.
    Agreed.

    Quote Originally Posted by laghlagh View Post
    what would be point of being admired by everyone if you're all alone because nobody likes you anyway? what a life.
    Sure, but... What's the point in being liked by everyone but not taken seriously at all for example?
    „Man can do what he wants but he cannot want what he wants.“
    – Arthur Schopenhauer

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    Quote Originally Posted by CILi View Post
    IME, being distanced from people (even for something as positive as admiration) feels pretty much like the worst thing in the world.
    Dude, you're so like... the opposite of me.

    Quote Originally Posted by Mountain Dew View Post
    Being liked is for the weak.
    Hey, don't insult my dual.

    Quote Originally Posted by Mountain Dew View Post
    Being admired is being confident enough to stand up for the values you truly believe in.
    Standing up for what you believe in is something very valuable to me personally, but I don't see why you would equate it with being admired. It's just something that some people admire. Definitely not the main and all-encompassing reason(/basis) for being admired, as you generalized it.
    “Whether we fall by ambition, blood, or lust, like diamonds we are cut with our own dust.”

    Quote Originally Posted by Gilly
    You've done yourself a huge favor developmentally by mustering the balls to do something really fucking scary... in about the most vulnerable situation possible.

  14. #14
    what is essential is invisible to the eye fox's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by CILi View Post
    Liked > Admired.

    I tend to play down traits/skills/stuff I could be admired for solely to be liked.

    IME, being distanced from people (even for something as positive as admiration) feels pretty much like the worst thing in the world.
    Now that I think about it, I actually relate to this a lot. Sometimes I'll hide my talents so others wont feel outdone or envious. Plus, I hate being in the spotlight.

    Blah. Making people like you is way too easy, though... I don't even have to try. Because of this I actually take it as more of a compliment when people hate me. lol

  15. #15
    when you see the booty Galen's Avatar
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    Simply being admired by people seems kind of unfulfilling to me. They'd only be appreciating me for the things I do, not who I am as a human being (unless we have a different definition of admiration in mind than what I'm putting forth).

    I guess it mostly has to do with who is doing the admiring or liking, and if I admire or like the other person back. If it's a one-sided admiration or a one-sided liking from the other party to myself them I'm not going to be that comfortable with it.

  16. #16
    The Soul Happy-er JWC3's Avatar
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    Admired, getting people to like you is low effort and low pay off. You actually have to be worth a damn to be admired.
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    admired. it's been said that only a few people reallly like you anyway. mostly, people either feel neutral or dislike you.

    ILE

    those who are easily shocked.....should be shocked more often

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    @ megadoomer: relationships

    how many people do you like that you don't take seriously?

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    Tell me how much you people voting admired are worth and I'll tell you how much I'm going to pay for you. Oh yea, I do dislike some and do like some, I see no reason for former getting to actually like me, quite the opposite.

  20. #20
    Darn Socks Director Abbie's Avatar
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    Either one is fine with me.

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    Robot Assassin Pa3s's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by laghlagh View Post
    @ megadoomer: relationships

    how many people do you like that you don't take seriously?
    Oh, I have several in mind when I think about it. For example see this:

    Quote Originally Posted by JWC3 View Post
    Admired, getting people to like you is low effort and low pay off. You actually have to be worth a damn to be admired.
    He's right about that. People sometimes just like others because they have fun with them or might even laugh about them. Okay, this is probably not your definition of "liking someone", but it's still a part of that. It's also not easy for some people to get others to like them, it depends. But admiring someone always includes respect imho, even if said admired person might be an "enemy" or has a totally different ideology.
    „Man can do what he wants but he cannot want what he wants.“
    – Arthur Schopenhauer

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    okay, i guess "like" is a pretty broad term. i was assuming that it would include respect also. i see actively "liking" as different than "being entertained by" or thinking they "seem nice" or something.

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    Wow. 6 Admired Beta, 5 Liked Delta

    I personally chose admired. Just cause honestly, I think IRL I *am* admired more than I'm liked. I think I'm a polarizing person. I think most Beta extraverts are. Liked.. eh, whatever.. can't please everyone and it brings to mind no sense of power/strength of character that Beta does.

    I think you've come across a really good indicator of Quadra with this question..

    I think it comes down to the and Aristocracy...


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    Poor betas! Oops, did I say it out loud ?

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    I think I'd rather be liked. Admiration just seems like so much effort. I mean I could be admired if I don't have to deal with it, admired from afar without my knowing, but only because this would mean I'm liked more. So really I value being liked more. I see admiration as something that can enhance being liked and so it has its value there... but if I imagine having one without the other, then I think I'd rather be liked because I think I feel better when I'm liked.

    Admiration is pretty and attractive, but I also see it as destructive. It would be difficult to sail that ship since it seems so easy to encounter the dangers. For instance, considering some quite famous celebrities... I see admiration as the worst thing they have to deal with (it's one of the prices they pay for everything else; another price is possibly ending up a slave to materialism). Anyway having to deal with all the fans would definitely, imo, suck. Especially considering that most of them don't even know you and they only worship their images of you... and that worship can easily turn to envy and hate. I definitely wouldn't want to have to deal with that. I prefer being invisible to the masses so I don't have to deal with them. And if I were an actor (as an example of someone who can end up being a celebrity) I would try to aim for roles that wouldn't land me in fame, and I think I would probably prefer niches where I could be personally fulfilled by my roles but just maybe not that many people would see my performances, or would be liable to think the film/production sucked if they did see it... But it wouldn't suck enough that I can't continue getting paid from it. Some actors actually pull this off, though I don't know how often it was intended. I'd have to be interested in my characters and roles and the stories themselves though, as otherwise it wouldn't be worth it. Anyway I think celebrity shows some of the dangers of admiration: fly away narcissism for the one being admired; and worship of people as god-objects to fill one's own insecurities and emptiness for the admirers where admiration can turn to envy/hate as the flip-side that can sometimes fill those holes up better.

    Anyway maybe I'm more prone to admiring or being in awe of certain very few others. But I'm naturally very wary of that as well because I fear turning someone else into "God" as then I won't really like them anymore. I won't even really care about them because God is only there to put up with my crap and indulge my fantasies because God is infinitely powerful. And no person is infinitely powerful. Anyway I look over admiration with both skepticism that I'm even feeling it and wariness about what it may mean. The other curious area is self-admiration. I do have some desire to grow my own holiness and I'm awaiting any decision about whether or not I think that's disturbing. But I like being holy to myself and I think I perhaps wish to be more holy. I'm not sure how to describe what I even mean by "holy".

    As for others and whether or not they like admiration I can't really say anything I feel about that. I mean sometimes it's cute or adorable. However I think I very much like to avoid those who are totally full of themselves and have managed to amass some sort of worshiping circle. I'm not going to worship anyone. Anyway maybe this isn't exactly narcissism... but people can get addicted to having everyone worship them and I guess I sort of think "have fun with that" about it.

    All that said I've felt jealous of others several times when watching the special features to movies/tv shows. And I don't think it's about admiration so much as my wishing to be holy. But I feel it's related. I'm also at an all-time low in terms of being aware of most anyone outside of me. I mean for instance as a teenager there were times I wanted to be popular, but again I think this just meant "well-liked". Maybe the thing about being holy is like being worthy of admiration without having to deal with actual admiration. I don't know. I'm now confusing myself.

    Adding on, I agree that admiration can just end up being lonely and although I seem to often want to be alone, I don't really want to be lonely.

  27. #27
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    Maybe I'm just being picky, but I prefer the word respected over admired. Someone can admire you for things totally outside of your control, but won't respect you for them.

    I usually find it easy to earn people's respect. It's not so easy for me to be liked, and even when I am, I'm never quite sure that I am. People's opinions can be so fickle on that. But respect once earned doesn't dissipate quickly unless you do something really stupid.

    It would be cool to have people like me easily - beta NFs are really good at getting people to like them and every once in awhile I'm kind of envious of that, but I really do prefer having respect more.

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    Being liked and not admired sounds kind of pathetic tbh.
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    I think admired. I guess because I can pinpoint actual reasons.
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    Why might you like someone if you don't admire them?
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    Quote Originally Posted by Azeroffs View Post
    Why might you like someone if you don't admire them?
    It has quite a lot of meanings depending on situation. Squark likes respect better, for instance, and respect is something earned. I don't know, someone says it is an offering to one's perfection and dominion, etc.

    Like is like to me, no matter how convulted it sounds.

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    Liked implies there's a close relationship. Admiration is others detached observing of you. Obviously being liked has more benefits.

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    Quote Originally Posted by crazedratsshadow View Post
    Liked implies there's a close relationship. Admiration is others detached observing of you.
    Not bad.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Azeroffs View Post
    Being liked and not admired sounds kind of pathetic tbh.
    i think this is what people are thinking. but people are substituting "respect" for the word "admiration" and conflating the two as if being liked does not imply being respected.

    most people are used to having people at least pretend to like them all the time - coworkers, service workers, etc. - so its probably seen as cheaper than it really is. being liked is not the default thing. it has to be earned just as admiration does.

    being admired but disliked is like jerking off to your own pride alone on a mountain somewhere. theres no point to it. would you want to have no friends, no lovers, except for people who hang around because they admire you, even though they dislike you? argh people

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    Quote Originally Posted by crazedratsshadow View Post
    Liked implies there's a close relationship. Admiration is others detached observing of you. Obviously being liked has more benefits.
    exactly! or at least the possibility of a close relationship, whereas if you take like out of the picture for the sake of admiration, there is none.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Ashton View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by squark View Post
    Maybe I'm just being picky, but I prefer the word respected over admired.
    I had the same reaction as well.

    I usually find it easy to earn people's respect. It's not so easy for me to be liked, and even when I am, I'm never quite sure that I am. People's opinions can be so fickle on that. But respect once earned doesn't dissipate quickly unless you do something really stupid.
    When people say they like me, it's a confusing grey area for me. Because I'll want to know "why?" but then there really isn't a why.
    If there was a reason, then I guess they'll only like you as long as that reason is true.

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    Quote Originally Posted by laghlagh View Post
    exactly! or at least the possibility of a close relationship, whereas if you take like out of the picture for the sake of admiration, there is none.
    Yup

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    Quote Originally Posted by Absurd View Post
    Poor betas! Oops, did I say it out loud ?
    Stan is not my real name.

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    I don't need to be admired. I don't care if people would do things how I do them or like how I do things or what I do. I do, however, need connections with other people who genuinely like me.
    It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble. It's what you know for sure that just ain't so.
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    feared > liked > admired.
    It was in the reign of George III that the aforesaid personages lived and quarrelled; good or bad, handsome or ugly, rich or poor, they are all equal now.

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