Is it weird that my duality NEVER works out? ENTP - ISFP or any other duals

[betterthandead]

I'm an ENTP.

My dual is ISFP. Yet I find them totally uninteresting or too "weak" too sensitive for them to be around me. They're either too serious or clown-ish but then have streaks of rage-bipolar-ness. My mother is an ISFJ, arghh! not fun but they are so much more reliable/dependable basically providing all the things I really hate doing or don't do well yet the ISFP is supposed to be my dual and can't cook for dear god, can't clean, messy - like myself but let's be honest. Marriage is pretty much a contract and ISFPs don't foot the bill long term wise. There are different ISFPs abound, but the type that freaks me out are the borderline/bipolar affected ones, you can usually tell by general impulsive talking chit chat and movement. And most ISFPs I run into, are fat. I am not fat.

I jive really well with SPs in general, ESTPs, ESFPs, ISTPs but not ISFPs - for relationship probably ISTP . SJs I jive well too, although for relationship reasons probably an ISFJ. ESFJs are too whiny naggy or wanting to be a part of the group without logical thinking. I only like INTPs for NT and NF, probably INFJ. So what's up with this, wrong type? or basically how I grew up in my family (I grew up with SJs) I also note a pattern. ISTP/INTP INFJ/ISFJ

[Variant]

I'm thinking maybe you're too affected by people outside your quadra o.o, just a thought but ime usually I'm more easy going with friends who are of the same type of my parents (ESI and ILI) or from other quadras. Don't they like strengthen your functions or sumthin? more tolerance? Prolly

As for the SEI, the ones i know are asian...and dam they're pretty hot. If you type in Chantell Kwok in facebook, you'll know what i mean. Very friendly person, umm..always waves at me and even smiles very sweetly everyday. Also very funny girl w/ weird interests. I don't think she's like..bipolar or anything, but she can be really silly. Probably like every other week she has those silly moments..All SEI's aren't that* bad .

Sometimes I would hear her say "Oh shitttt" like "Oh DAYUM/Damn". Or like "IKR!?", and she would use the word "epic" which I'm sure all Fe types would love to use. Ionno everything she does is so smooth y'know, i think smooth is a better word to describe it rather than cute because whatever she does it doesn't look retarded and she's very relaxed in her own way. I almost think there's like no weakness to her when it comes to being chill, having a good time, or like drawing art or rather talking to people. Uses Fe better me man >> - so smiley too lol-but usually has those neutral Si moments lol

[Sir Knight]

Yeah, you know, it's really strange not to find perfect people who solve all of your problems.

[Creepy-Snaps]

I'm an ENTP.

My dual is ISFP. Yet I find them totally uninteresting or too "weak" too sensitive for them to be around me. They're either too serious or clown-ish but then have streaks of rage-bipolar-ness. My mother is an ISFJ, arghh! not fun but they are so much more reliable/dependable basically providing all the things I really hate doing or don't do well yet the ISFP is supposed to be my dual and can't cook for dear god, can't clean, messy - like myself but let's be honest. Marriage is pretty much a contract and ISFPs don't foot the bill long term wise. There are different ISFPs abound, but the type that freaks me out are the borderline/bipolar affected ones, you can usually tell by general impulsive talking chit chat and movement. And most ISFPs I run into, are fat. I am not fat.

I jive really well with SPs in general, ESTPs, ESFPs, ISTPs but not ISFPs - for relationship probably ISTP . SJs I jive well too, although for relationship reasons probably an ISFJ. ESFJs are too whiny naggy or wanting to be a part of the group without logical thinking. I only like INTPs for NT and NF, probably INFJ. So what's up with this, wrong type? or basically how I grew up in my family (I grew up with SJs) I also note a pattern. ISTP/INTP INFJ/ISFJ

I don't know what's more horrible: The fact that you mention marriage is a "contract", implying you take getting along long-term seriously, and then contradictorily judge a type based upon how well they can cook for you and take care of your home. Uh... do it yourself you lazy complainer?

That, or just all the stereotypes associated with this post. You need to learn to judge people, not types. Not all ISFps are fat, or borderline/bipolar, etc. etc.

Duality is worthwhile if you happen to date a healthy dual. HEALTHY. H-E-A-L-T-H-Y. Healthy>duality.

HEALTHY HEALTHY HEALTHY.

And nobody says you have to marry a dual in order to have a perfect life... (I sincerely hope you envision more than just a wife/slave doing everything for you)... if you find a healthy person of a different type, you're free to... you know, date them, despite the type difference, mirite?

TLDR:

Yeah, you know, it's really strange not to find perfect people who solve all of your problems.

[Variant]

I don't know what's more horrible: The fact that you mention marriage is a "contract", implying you take getting along long-term seriously, and then contradictorily judge a type based upon how well they can cook for you and take care of your home. Uh... do it yourself you lazy complainer?

That, or just all the stereotypes associated with this post. You need to learn to judge people, not types. Not all ISFps are fat, or borderline/bipolar, etc. etc.

Duality is worthwhile if you happen to date a healthy dual. HEALTHY. H-E-A-L-T-H-Y. Healthy>duality.

HEALTHY HEALTHY HEALTHY.

And nobody says you have to marry a dual in order to have a perfect life... (I sincerely hope you envision more than just a wife/slave doing everything for you)... if you find a healthy person of a different type, you're free to... you know, date them, despite the type difference, mirite?

TLDR:

Yummy Si , i agree very much with this post

[Pa3s]

lol, I hope no ISFp has the misfortune to end up with you.

[Simon Ssmall]

You are not fat, but you really have something wrong with your understanding and im pretty sure the latter is much bigger issue. Solve your own personal problems first, baby boy.

[Aiss]

I don't give a damn if half the forum is going to run to OP's defense without considering the possibility I might be right, so to make long story short:

Socionics is not MBTI/Keirsey with relations added. It is not. If you're not convinced, read this paragraph again.

Yes, I know, I'm an evil, evil person for bothering someone because of their capitalization or whatever. Get over it and see how he uses Keirsey's temperaments as if they were the only groups that mattered. Plus, I've spend my time on MBTI forums and I can tell this one fits over there.

I tend to agree with those who said you shouldn't everything to be perfectly the way you want, but nonetheless, there's a possibility you're not an ENTp, or that your supposed duals aren't ISFps, or that someone else you typed etc. etc.

[Cat King Cole]

I was thinking that, Aiss.

@betterthandead: your entire post boils down to "I dislike unhealthy people". Don't deceive yourself. It has nothing to do with ISFPs (or Socionics's ISFp/SEIs), who are not stereotypically anything like Keirsey's SPs (which is basically a collection of dumbasses and dimwits), or even anything like what you described.

Mistakes you made that you shouldn't have:

Sociotype is not somatotype. Most types come in most sizes.
Sociotype is not psychopathology. There is no relationship between type and mental illness or dysfunction.
Sociotype is not psychometry. There is no relationship between type and intelligence.

[Slacker]

Hmm most of the SEIs I know personally are thin, but not all.

I think your ideas about relationships are immature, and you are typing people incorrectly due to MBTI or even funny ideas about MBTI. I'm not sure.

[Kalinoche buenanoche]

Maybe you are LII>ILE ,betterthandead.Maybe you are not even alpha NT. Plus,I agree with Slacker .

[woofwoofl]

I was wondering about a mistyping too - is it possible that you're LIE (and, as a result, my Activity partner)?

I don't have any one mindblowingly definitive reason for you as LIE, but I get the impression of devaluing (especially when the comes from an ESI), and I saw some in there too (about marriage being a long-term contract, and SEIs not footing the bill long term wise)... your favorite people seem to be strewn across Beta, Gamma, and Delta, with a bit heavier of a liking towards Gamma and Delta, with what looks like a strong distaste for Alpha - your ideal person you brought up was an ESI also...

If nothing else, I'd heavily reconsider your self-typing as ILE (I'd try Gamma out for a while if I were you) - at most, your supposed "dual" is your Conflictor, and you're LIE

[betterthandead]

Some of you had great insights, a couple of you are retards possibly affected by some objective view I had. I've actually had tests that waver between ENTP, ENTJ, INTP, INTJ. The fundamental difference to go further is that I work in sales/marketing so I interact with lots of people and am able to sell/convince most people to do what I suggest. Hence my type being ENTP. cause for sure INTJ/INTP which i got results for were probably at times where I do feel lonely, depressed, etc. Oh okay, not all ISFPs are fat, but have a tendency to be fat. Is that better just like some grossly disgusting ENTPs that I've met myself too, fat spilling over their jeans not just a muffin top but a damn cake top.

If I was an ENTJ, for sure I wouldn't be as funny but yet because I was raised in a J background with the majority of people being ESFP, ISTJ, ISFJ - my personality probably leans towards the Beta/Gamma group and am confused by my own quadra and that is due to upbringing which makes me much less patient dealing with people from other "quadrants" So it's a weird mix of me being an ENTP when talking and being diplomatic to people and when it comes down to hard work especially when it's manual where I talk less I appear more ENTJ and behave more dominant, robotic, and aggressive. I expect people to follow my exact orders at that point once I have a grasp of power almost to the point where diplomacy and being nice is thrown out the window.

[woofwoofl]

Some of you had great insights, a couple of you are retards possibly affected by some objective view I had. I've actually had tests that waver between ENTP, ENTJ, INTP, INTJ. The fundamental difference to go further is that I work in sales/marketing so I interact with lots of people and am able to sell/convince most people to do what I suggest. Hence my type being ENTP. cause for sure INTJ/INTP which i got results for were probably at times where I do feel lonely, depressed, etc. Oh okay, not all ISFPs are fat, but have a tendency to be fat. Is that better just like some grossly disgusting ENTPs that I've met myself too, fat spilling over their jeans not just a muffin top but a damn cake top.

If I was an ENTJ, for sure I wouldn't be as funny but yet because I was raised in a J background with the majority of people being ESFP, ISTJ, ISFJ - my personality probably leans towards the Beta/Gamma group and am confused by my own quadra and that is due to upbringing which makes me much less patient dealing with people from other "quadrants" So it's a weird mix of me being an ENTP when talking and being diplomatic to people and when it comes down to hard work especially when it's manual where I talk less I appear more ENTJ and behave more dominant, robotic, and aggressive. I expect people to follow my exact orders at that point once I have a grasp of power almost to the point where diplomacy and being nice is thrown out the window.

The very fact that I easily made it through your posts without my brain melting over is enough for me to go LIE>ILE

Anyways, I learned not to pay too much mind to tests myself - issues with tests being imperfect aside, I expect Extraverts to have a harder time pinning themselves down all by themselves anyways (I have first-hand experience in this ), and I'd look at quadras, type relations, valued functions, and dichotomies more than anything...

The "dominant, robotic, and aggressive" part sounds a hell of a lot like as a Hidden Agenda, as does "I expect people to follow my exact orders at that point once I have a grasp of power almost to the point where diplomacy and being nice is thrown out the window"

I've been around lots of Deltas and Alphas, so I come off as more IEE than many SEEs - different people have different vibes at different times, but when crunch time hits, people go into their type's functions more noticeably, and for you, that sounds like it would be LIE!

Also, LIEs have a great, different kinda sense of humor just because you don't plaster "lolcats" all over the place doesn't mean you're devoid of humor

[Cat King Cole]

You sound like an ESTx, BTD. I'd go with ESTp just for the disregard for tact (like calling people in this thread retards), but we had an ESTj here called Air who was pretty blunt, so a vague forum persona isn't really much to go on.

You're also clearly not talking about Socionics. It's pretty simple, learn what the fuck you're talking about or shut up. Don't like that tone? Don't call people retarded.

[Cat King Cole]

The fundamental difference to go further is that I work in sales/marketing so I interact with lots of people and am able to sell/convince most people to do what I suggest. Hence my type being ENTP.

No. That is not how Socionics works.

If I was an ENTJ, for sure I wouldn't be as funny

No. That is not how Socionics works.

So it's a weird mix of me being an ENTP when talking and being diplomatic to people and when it comes down to hard work especially when it's manual where I talk less I appear more ENTJ and behave more dominant, robotic, and aggressive.

No. That is not how Socionics works.

[marooned]

I suggest a mail-order bride as the best long term investment. Short term, whores and strippers can help but they tend to be expensive and won't help you save up.

[717495]

[Pookie]

Oh well then you're definitely an LIE

[yellow82]

lol, I hope no ISFp has the misfortune to end up with you.

[betterthandead]

Makes sense, thank you very much. After spending an hour of reading up on ENTJ behavior and personality. I feel much more better than I am more awesome than an ENTP and gives me reasons why I consider an ISFP weak and pathetic. My sister is an ESFP, ESFPs are awesome, and fun to talk to. Not sure about romantic relations though.

The very fact that I easily made it through your posts without my brain melting over is enough for me to go LIE>ILE

Anyways, I learned not to pay too much mind to tests myself - issues with tests being imperfect aside, I expect Extraverts to have a harder time pinning themselves down all by themselves anyways (I have first-hand experience in this ), and I'd look at quadras, type relations, valued functions, and dichotomies more than anything...

The "dominant, robotic, and aggressive" part sounds a hell of a lot like as a Hidden Agenda, as does "I expect people to follow my exact orders at that point once I have a grasp of power almost to the point where diplomacy and being nice is thrown out the window"

I've been around lots of Deltas and Alphas, so I come off as more IEE than many SEEs - different people have different vibes at different times, but when crunch time hits, people go into their type's functions more noticeably, and for you, that sounds like it would be LIE!

Also, LIEs have a great, different kinda sense of humor just because you don't plaster "lolcats" all over the place doesn't mean you're devoid of humor

[Simon Ssmall]

[Jarno]

around 50% of my dual relationship attempts did not work out.

several causes:

they were seeking a copy of their ex boyfriend, and i didn't look like him.
they were a snob and I was wearing the wrong brand of shoes.
too fat
too ugly
too black (sorry no racist thing)

Well let's see, oh yeah, I once wasn't really in shape and so I fucked it up. hmm can't think of any more, but there has to be more...

Anyways, you need somewhat of luck, even if the person is your dual, there can be bad circumstances that screw things up. I even sincerely hate some duals that I've met.

also: different subtype = somewhat boring dual relationship.

[Beautiful sky]

LOL

How many times I hear this complaint...anyway...on to Maritsa's counseling services:

Duals handle the other side of the social environment. You do your own thing and they do their own thing and hopefully, you end up in the bedroom at the end of the day. Besides for that, you have to be with a healthy, mature dual. There are incompatible duals out there, and yes, they can be changed, by willingness. And, it is in some human nature not to want to change or be influenced by external factors. In such cases, you can only choose to tolerate the matter or move on.

What is a healthy dual? Someone who is involved in Self-Realization and Self-Improvement. With these two things, they can learn to recognize their own mistakes and patterns and work with you to bring you two closer to each other, psychologically and physically.

[Snorkle]

changing other peoples against their will is one of the best of things you can do for them

[Birdie]

Perhaps you're not an ENTP.

[Variant]

@Snorkle, that sounded kind of epic, do you think that would go good in an essay? Something that you can't really prove but try to, hey this should be like some sort of life lesson thing .

@Hydrangea, derp

[Snorkle]

@Snorkle, that sounded kind of epic, do you think that would go good in an essay? Something that you can't really prove but try to, hey this should be like some sort of life lesson thing .

How would you change someone against their will?