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Thread: Dual or Benefactor: Which is more attractive?

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    Default Dual or Benefactor: Which is more attractive?

    Generally I find IEIs more attractive than ESEs. SEIs, SLEs, EIIs, ILIs and LIIs are the types I am attracted to the least.

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    Before this thread gets bogged down in NTR replies, and (if you're lucky) a response from k0rp, I wanna point out that certain auras do exude from types due to psychological and semi-genetic dispositions. Psychology can influence other areas such as lifestyle and wardrobe which also play into attraction. Though, on top of that, physical attraction is a huge factor that shouldn't be overlooked.

    That said, I'm going with benefactor.
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    Dual of course.

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    why would benefactors be more attractive than duals? serious question, i dont see why it would work in theory. i have extremely limited experience w/ ILIs, so i dont know.

    cute, esc

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    Quote Originally Posted by laghlagh View Post
    why would benefactors be more attractive than duals? serious question,
    I think it may have to do with perceived similarities at least when you first meet. Benefactors still have that thing you are attracted to while being similar to yourself in many ways.

    Also, a lot of relationships ime have been benefit relations.

    But, to answer the question. I've been in a relationship with my benefactor, and it turned out to be terrible, so it's pretty likely that if I see anyone who even resembles IEE, it's a no-go.
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    that makes sense.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Azeroffs View Post
    Also, a lot of relationships ime have been benefit relations.
    That's not just because they're twice as popular as other relations?

    I was in a meaningful relationship as a benefactor once. It was awesome.

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    I was once on the threshold of a relationship with an IEI who had unfortunately completely lost sight of who I was. The truth of my personality and what I could actually bring to the relationship were completely sublimated by the image of a pristine superman in her mind's eye. However after I innocently suggested that her new job, which she refused to discuss with me, was as a cam whore, she came down to earth -- and basically cut off relations lol.

    One interesting thing... she seemed to be turned on by things I did for her that I didn't want to do, but did out of courtesy. She seemed to think I was doing them specifically for her... but I don't usually go out of my way to do things for people, and I'd only make that kind of effort on behalf of their protection, not to express some kinda sentiment or anything.

    I've noticed that IEEs are more honest than IEIs, on average: IEEs don't seem to tolerate mind games like IEIs do... a lot of IEIs apparently take deep pleasure in their games -- especially the nurses.

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    Quote Originally Posted by poli View Post
    That's not just because they're twice as popular as other relations?
    It's been more than 1/8 of relationships that I've know.

    Not that my experience is particularly meaningful anyway.
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    This is an interesting question b/c i've had a couple LIE guys now become interested in me in a romantic sense. I also recall Slacker having had an LIE boyfriend at one point as well.

    I should also mention that I admire a couple of ESE friends that I have very much. Even though my feelings towards them are purely platonic, I think they tend to be very attractive people.

    I'm thinking perhaps the duality attraction might become more obvious only after you've experienced some degree of dualization with a dual, and until that happens a benefactor might be more attractive in a way.


    So i do think you are onto something there, tcaud.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Azeroffs View Post
    It's been more than 1/8 of relationships that I've know.

    Not that my experience is particularly meaningful anyway.
    Are there any studies on the subject?

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    Quote Originally Posted by Azeroffs View Post
    But, to answer the question. I've been in a relationship with my benefactor, and it turned out to be terrible, so it's pretty likely that if I see anyone who even resembles IEE, it's a no-go.
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    Quote Originally Posted by tcaudilllg View Post
    Are there any studies on the subject?
    none that I know of.

    Quote Originally Posted by WorkaholicsAnon View Post
    We can still be friends

    I just need to meet more IEEs. I shouldn't let one ruin my opinion of them.
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    I imagine IEI females as your typical coffee shop dork, who is willing to talk about anything and everything, but never willing to get into a lot of depth and will very, very rarely offer your opinion. They tend to talk a lot about the person they are speaking with, like they are looking to goad them on and inspire them. This probably for IEI producing subs more than accepting subs... the IEI accepting subs tend to talk a lot about themselves and their opinions, and will continue talking with you even after you leave the shop and are out on the street, until it crosses their mind that they have an appointment, and on goes the phone, and the call, and they are off lol.

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    Identical!

    Naw but all seriousness aside, I would have to say Benefactor. They re-assert through their main function that what i demonstrate through my actions are "the way it should be". Whereas the dual, we just simply agree on everything and go out of our way to notify the other, which is interesting now that i think of it. Normally duals are on the same wavelength anyway, so going out of your way can actually be really subtle.

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    I'd say they're about equal. Female benefactors may be more attractive than female duals.

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    Brown eyes > Blue/Green eyes in not being able to handle their booze.
    Blue/Green eyes > Brown eyes in prone to alcoholism.

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    People are drawn to those they perceive as slightly better than themselves, hence benefactors. And since you generally have more in common (at least on the surface) it is an easier relationship to start.

    And if you use the romance styles, either your benefactor or beneficiary is the compatible one.
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    Quote Originally Posted by k0rpsey View Post
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    I have more ESE friends than SLI friends. I don't think I've ever dated an ESE though.
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    Physically speaking, I tend to prefer the frames of IEIs and ESEs. As an LII, the frame means a lot because Si, easy on the eyes, ears, and flesh is key.

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    Who isn't attracted to IEIs? They are gorgeous!

    I'm attracted to my duals because most are strong and hearty looking. I like big muscles.

    I've found myself being attracted to most types. I don't prefer men who are skinny.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Crispy View Post
    Brown eyes > Blue/Green eyes in not being able to handle their booze.
    Blue/Green eyes > Brown eyes in prone to alcoholism.

    http://www.unt.edu/rss/class/mike/57...loralcohol.pdf
    Though I don't always follow this rule as assiduously as I should, I like 'em to drink less and have fewer tattoos than me.

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    I don't like tatoos on a woman. Too unnatural.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Azeroffs View Post
    none that I know of.



    We can still be friends

    I just need to meet more IEEs. I shouldn't let one ruin my opinion of them.
    yay!!
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    Quote Originally Posted by tcaudilllg View Post
    I don't like tatoos on a woman. Too unnatural.
    But it's not unnatural on a man? Or do you mean tattoos in general?

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    Quote Originally Posted by tcaudilllg View Post
    I don't like tatoos on a woman. Too unnatural.
    WHAT?!

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    Tcaud:

    It's quite possible that you are an entp and not an intj. Your polr might be Fi and not Se. I don't see how you think you have Se polr, anyway.

    That would explain your attraction to IEIs. ENTp and INFp is very good, because the lookalike to ENTp is ESTp and the lookalike to INFp is ISFp. And ESTp/INFp are duals, and ENTp/ISFp are duals.

    The problem is you try to overthink socionics in a neurotic way, instead of accurately understanding it. A common problem a lot of people have.

    Most of your theories and what you say aren't based on reality at all and just don't make sense. You also lack an objective grasp of what socionics is and what the socionicists are really trying to say.

    And it's also quite possible that you are simply turned on by IEIs because we're a type that tends to be objectively very attractive in a very general way and we probably turn a lot of people on not to brag or anything. But SLE/IEIs tend to be quite lustful and beautiful that way. =p

    IEIs are all about pure romantic/sexual love and there is nothing 'hotter' than that....

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    Quote Originally Posted by BulletsAndDoves View Post
    It's quite possible that you are an entp and not an intj.
    That was already proposed by some ex-member on here.

    EDIT:
    Dual or benefactor -- which is more attractive
    Dual.
    Last edited by Absurd; 05-26-2011 at 10:29 AM.

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    Quote Originally Posted by tcaudilllg View Post
    I don't like tatoos on a woman. Too unnatural.
    I'm not big on tattoos either, or piercings. Natural beauty for the win.
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    It's pretty close.

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    ESFjs are grose
    Actually the Si subs tend to be a lot more attractive than the Fe subs, but I'd still choose the deltard.
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    Quote Originally Posted by stanprollyright View Post
    People are drawn to those they perceive as slightly better than themselves.
    but I do see my dual as slightly better than me. And this is in the descriptive literature too. Mostly as it relates to how the introvert of the dual pair perceives the extrovert.
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    Quote Originally Posted by BulletsAndDoves View Post
    Tcaud:

    It's quite possible that you are an entp and not an intj. Your polr might be Fi and not Se. I don't see how you think you have Se polr, anyway.

    That would explain your attraction to IEIs. ENTp and INFp is very good, because the lookalike to ENTp is ESTp and the lookalike to INFp is ISFp. And ESTp/INFp are duals, and ENTp/ISFp are duals.

    The problem is you try to overthink socionics in a neurotic way, instead of accurately understanding it. A common problem a lot of people have.

    And it's also quite possible that you are simply turned on by IEIs because we're a type that tends to be objectively very attractive in a very general way and we probably turn a lot of people on not to brag or anything. But SLE/IEIs tend to be quite lustful and beautiful that way. =p

    IEIs are all about pure romantic/sexual love and there is nothing 'hotter' than that....
    all of this too.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Galen View Post
    ESFjs are grose
    Actually the Si subs tend to be a lot more attractive than the Fe subs, but I'd still choose the deltard.
    IME ESE girls are pretty hot. Usually pretty curvy.

    Quote Originally Posted by redbaron View Post
    but I do see my dual as slightly better than me. And this is in the descriptive literature too. Mostly as it relates to how the introvert of the dual pair perceives the extrovert.
    Oh right, forgot about that. As an extrovert I tend to pass over duals and only feel that "slightly better" thing with benefactors. Huh. I wonder if extroverts are more likely to be attracted to their benefactors vs. duals than introverts...
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    Quote Originally Posted by stanprollyright View Post
    I'm not big on tattoos either, or piercings. Natural beauty for the win.
    Quite so, including gobs of makeup, scads of jewelry, and other distracting add-ons. Blech. Though since I'm inked I'm in no position to disqualify potential mates for being decorated in a similar fashion.

    In an erotic sense I'm most drawn to duals, activators, and kindred. If Rashida Jones is an EII exemplar then I could see erotic interest in my beneficiary, too. But I don't feel any attraction to or sympathy with LSIs at all, which probably goes some ways in explaining why I hate cops.
    Last edited by Korpsy Knievel; 05-27-2011 at 04:13 AM. Reason: I caught a typo of than/then --- crisis averted!

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    Quote Originally Posted by stanprollyright View Post

    Oh right, forgot about that. As an extrovert I tend to pass over duals and only feel that "slightly better" thing with benefactors. Huh. I wonder if extroverts are more likely to be attracted to their benefactors vs. duals than introverts...
    yeah that's sort of what i was trying to get at too...
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    I get along with SLIs really well until they become selfish pricks or have a tendency to become needy. i've seen a few snap. good friends to have.

    Duals are cool all around...idk, feel lotsa selfgrowth opportunity there.

    and of course... individual traits more important than types.

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    Quote Originally Posted by eliza View Post
    ESI's are 'admirable' not attractive on a personal level. I'm attracted to traits and behaviours that come naturally to my benefactor, so that would be more a case of envy than attraction? No, I'm definitely more attracted to SLE's than ESI's
    Definitely agree.

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