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Thread: Vulnerable function problem

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    Default Vulnerable function problem

    How the hell do i deal with Si-PoLR? I get anxious when i think about it
    Beta NF - E-(6w5), 9w1, 4w5 sp/sx

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    What exactly makes you anxious? Which activites?
    Obsequium amicos, veritas odium parit

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    Yeah, need more info, please. What stuff are you calling Si, and why are you having to pay attention to it?

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    Pills. They will cure it.
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    Lol , i have trouble picking out clothing that will *look* good and not have other people think that I'm messing up my style. There's always something that doesn't match in the things that i wear, and i don't want to look like "everyone else" too. Perhaps i have the fear of being judged but that's probably because i suck so much at getting the proper style in check. O ya i want to get a knew look over the summer, get some supra shoes and other stuff. If i don't get it in check i'd feel retarded lol, but that's just me haha.

    I also think about what to wear the next day since I don't like to wear the same thing over and over again. But i can't help it ;(. I get nervous whenever i think about something beauty/style related and I'm also not able to answer questions related to it. Like if someone asks me "is this pretty or not", i don't know smack srsly, i might give them a wrong answer. I'm not professional ..

    Only thing that isn't a problem is my health, bah who cares about that. It's still ok, my mom go it covered for me. So helpp, how can i cope with this and is it even possible to fix?
    Beta NF - E-(6w5), 9w1, 4w5 sp/sx

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    Quote Originally Posted by ReiLingBaz View Post
    Lol , i have trouble picking out clothing that will *look* good and not have other people think that I'm messing up my style. There's always something that doesn't match in the things that i wear, and i don't want to look like "everyone else" too. Perhaps i have the fear of being judged but that's probably because i suck so much at getting the proper style in check. O ya i want to get a knew look over the summer, get some supra shoes and other stuff. If i don't get it in check i'd feel retarded lol, but that's just me haha.

    I also think about what to wear the next day since I don't like to wear the same thing over and over again. But i can't help it ;(. I get nervous whenever i think about something beauty/style related and I'm also not able to answer questions related to it. Like if someone asks me "is this pretty or not", i don't know smack srsly, i might give them a wrong answer. I'm not professional ..

    Only thing that isn't a problem is my health, bah who cares about that. It's still ok, my mom go it covered for me. So helpp, how can i cope with this and is it even possible to fix?
    Have any pictures of you? Those would help maybe

    The most important thing to match your clothes to is yourself, and a lot of people forget that... and if isn't your thing, then strip down the wardrobe to contain less clothes being worn at once (less stuff to mismatch), but make the ones you have more bold or striking - black is good, it matches with almost anything! Let take over here - if you knock them down with boldness, style, and mojo, then you'll be good to go...

    I also found it's nice to dress, to some degree, as you'd expect your activity partner to dress (maybe not necessarily how they actually would, but what your perception of their clothing style is) for some extra charisma points or some flexibility - mine's LIE, and I do have a way of suiting up well (might save up for a black British suit and see how it goes)... yours is SLE, what's your idea of SLE style? Try it out and see how it goes!



    If you're gonna go with the Supra shoes, go for an all black one! also try alternate ways of lacing the shoes, and maybe replacing the laces (I like round ones more than flat ones, flat ones look sloppy to me)...



    I do a sawtooth kinda thing (I lace the diagonals on top of the horizontals though, to accentuate the momentum of the pattern) on both feet in such a way that it gives an impression of me driving through my environment like an arrow...

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    Just wear whatever you think looks good.

    There's no point in focusing on the Si aspects of fashion if you're no good at it. So pretend you've never heard any annoying negative feedback from people, and style yourself in the fashion that you like best.

    It's okay to change your mind after hearing criticism/advice/suggestions from people, but only if you agree with them. People have criticized me for what I wear, but they're wrong and I'm right, so fuck them.

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    Yeah, I don't think that Si-devaluing means you can't dress well--AT ALL. I have known some Si-egos who dress for shit, imo. Taste is relative.

    I know how to dress myself pretty well now, but I admit I didn't get it until I was about 23. I can remember a lot of embarrassing outfits, gawd. The fixes for me came via trial and error, the influence of a friend who had great style, and getting into vintage stuff. Especially watching a lot of old movies and reading books on styles of the 1930s-1960s, understanding the styles of some film actresses of yesteryear.

    Style is personal. I developed a couple of basic "uniforms" (that was how I thought of them) and built on that.

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    Mann great posts people, recently i went to this place for "career night". Met some guy who is in the arts and i quickly typed him as an Fe-ISFP, i even got his email too . I think I'll go ask him a little bit on clothing and also think to come up with my style i hope, I should read a little bit more on fashion eh? Lol I'm laughing my ass off as I'm typing this because DJ is so fricking funny, even funnier than tourettes guy .

    Btw i actually do LOVE black, and i considered getting black supra shoes with the plastic-y sides. Man i need more black colors D: , ah and my brother is an SLE. He dresses like...t-shirt + straight jeans + converse. Why doesn't anything feel right =.=, but i guess i should try that too. Still need to get my own style (how the heck do you let take over lol), i don't even know what's good for me . Anyways if i can get some good pictures then I'll post them, but still feels weird.
    Beta NF - E-(6w5), 9w1, 4w5 sp/sx

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    Quote Originally Posted by Golden View Post
    Yeah, I don't think that Si-devaluing means you can't dress well--AT ALL. I have known some Si-egos who dress for shit, imo. Taste is relative.

    I know how to dress myself pretty well now, but I admit I didn't get it until I was about 23. I can remember a lot of embarrassing outfits, gawd. The fixes for me came via trial and error, the influence of a friend who had great style, and getting into vintage stuff. Especially watching a lot of old movies and reading books on styles of the 1930s-1960s, understanding the styles of some film actresses of yesteryear.

    Style is personal. I developed a couple of basic "uniforms" (that was how I thought of them) and built on that.
    Lol i know some female ENFJ's who have those mismatched clothing, but some days they dress real nice. I know this mid 20's ENFJ who mismatches her clothing a lot...flying colors of rainbow and a strange bright color in all the dull. Btw who was your friend with great style? Perhaps an ISFP ?
    Beta NF - E-(6w5), 9w1, 4w5 sp/sx

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    Quote Originally Posted by ReiLingBaz View Post
    Lol i know some female ENFJ's who have those mismatched clothing, but some days they dress real nice. I know this mid 20's ENFJ who mismatches her clothing a lot...flying colors of rainbow and a strange bright color in all the dull. Btw who was your friend with great style? Perhaps an ISFP ?
    Yeah, she's an ISFp--that's freaking funny!

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    Quote Originally Posted by Golden View Post
    Yeah, she's an ISFp--that's freaking funny!
    LOL yeah I've met quite a few ISFp's now a days...It's a strange coincidence, i love ISFP's especially the Fe-ISFP's. They're less of a burden in supervisor relationships, at least i like to be corrected in this area that i want* to improve.
    Beta NF - E-(6w5), 9w1, 4w5 sp/sx

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    Developing a few standard sets can help. Sometimes I just pick through my clothing until something clicks together but this may take a while. That's where the sets come in if I'm in a hurry and don't have the time. Don't think this has to do with Si-PolR. My roommate who I'm pretty sure used Si used to do something similar.

    Quote Originally Posted by ReiLingBaz View Post
    ...Like if someone asks me "is this pretty or not", i don't know smack srsly, i might give them a wrong answer. I'm not professional
    likely not an issue with Si, you're just too oriented at giving them the right answer but instead just focus on giving them an authentic answer and don't wonder if it is right or not right - lots of people out there aren't professionals and it doesn't stop them from giving advice

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    I don't think Si polr is about problems with clothing itself, but more about your attitude towards it. That it is a big deal for you. So I think this thread is an example for Si polr, as far as I have understood it.

    Some EIEs I know can be very picky about clothing and style. The quality has to be perfect etc. I see that as Si polr, actually.

    About supervision:
    I have been thinking about how I supervise EIE. I am not entirely sure, but here is what I think MIGHT be going on.

    EIE: How are you doing? I am surprised that you came to this party all by yourself. It must feel strange to come to a party full of people you've never met before.
    Nowisthetime (SEI): No, not really, I it's ok.
    EIE: Really! I hope you don't feel shy or anything. There are many people here to meet. I can help you meet some of them.
    Nowisthetime (thinking that the EIE is getting intrusive): I'm ok, thanks. I am not feeling shy, I can introduce myself.
    EIE: (looks at me with x-ray eyes)

    This is just an example. I these cases I feel that the EIE is paying too much attention to some single feeling I might have, or making a big deal about it. I WAS actually a little shy, and maybe it felt a little strange to come to the party, and the EIE noticed that, but my way of dealing with it is that the feeling gets blended and diluted. I harmonize my mood. This is what I think the EIE is lacking an understanding of, from my point of view the EIE "needs" Si And the supervision is in action.

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    Quote Originally Posted by siuntal View Post
    Developing a few standard sets can help. Sometimes I just pick through my clothing until something clicks together but this may take a while. That's where the sets come in if I'm in a hurry and don't have the time. Don't think this has to do with Si-PolR. My roommate who I'm pretty sure used Si used to do something similar.

    likely not an issue with Si, you're just too oriented at giving them the right answer but instead just focus on giving them an authentic answer and don't wonder if it is right or not right - lots of people out there aren't professionals and it doesn't stop them from giving advice
    My mom suggested that I just find sets of clothing that match each other and hang them together, so on days when feel for eg. sad then i will wear this one. Therefore i don't have to go through the trouble of "o what the hell should i wear today". Seems girly but meh

    In terms of giving them an authentic answer, who would want to give an unreliable answer o.o? What if they come back and tell me they had a shit day because i told them their dress looked nice lol. How bad i would feel. But ok I'll go with what you said, I'll just ignore their bad dey and keep on telling them that they look good. Though it would be a problem if they asked me to pick between 2 sets of clothing, both look equally as good
    Beta NF - E-(6w5), 9w1, 4w5 sp/sx

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    Quote Originally Posted by Nowisthetime View Post
    I don't think Si polr is about problems with clothing itself, but more about your attitude towards it. That it is a big deal for you. So I think this thread is an example for Si polr, as far as I have understood it.

    Some EIEs I know can be very picky about clothing and style. The quality has to be perfect etc. I see that as Si polr, actually.

    About supervision:
    I have been thinking about how I supervise EIE. I am not entirely sure, but here is what I think MIGHT be going on.

    EIE: How are you doing? I am surprised that you came to this party all by yourself. It must feel strange to come to a party full of people you've never met before.
    Nowisthetime (SEI): No, not really, I it's ok.
    EIE: Really! I hope you don't feel shy or anything. There are many people here to meet. I can help you meet some of them.
    Nowisthetime (thinking that the EIE is getting intrusive): I'm ok, thanks. I am not feeling shy, I can introduce myself.
    EIE: (looks at me with x-ray eyes)

    This is just an example. I these cases I feel that the EIE is paying too much attention to some single feeling I might have, or making a big deal about it. I WAS actually a little shy, and maybe it felt a little strange to come to the party, and the EIE noticed that, but my way of dealing with it is that the feeling gets blended and diluted. I harmonize my mood. This is what I think the EIE is lacking an understanding of, from my point of view the EIE "needs" Si And the supervision is in action.
    Nowisthetime, can you explain again the "harmonize your mood" thing. I don't get it . Normally I would maybe more of less do that but I have never done that to anyone, although i probably would have planned to-Ahahaha. So i guess next time i bring an Fe-ISFP to church or something, should i just bring them to people and let them do their magic? Usually they would be "OOhh is this your group of friends? Man i don't even know these people *giggles*". Something like that rite? Tell me more of what it's like to supervise us, methinks i have a lot to learn still...Correct me
    Beta NF - E-(6w5), 9w1, 4w5 sp/sx

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    My style isnt completely out of whack, but I pretty much dress the way I want to, and it makes me self conscious to some extent especially when I am looked at, or feel im being judged for my appearance.

    As far as my health goes i dont take care of it but im still young so I have no problems especially since Ive been in strong health my whole life.

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    Practice your butt clenches. It will help you get a good feel for how your anus tightens and loosens at your will. Yes, this is necessary. You must learn well every sensation in the body to overcome Si-PoLR. I'm a psychologist, so I know what I'm talking about.

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    Everyone, stop giving him shitty advice.

    ReiLingBaz, just do what I said and you'll be fine.

    Pick what you want, wear it. Tell others to eat the shit of their parents.

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    Lol everyone is giving such helpful responses, i asked the Fe-ISFP guy the other day and it's pretty much the same as what this thread has offered. Well somewhat along the lines of what DJ said, so i guess he's right . I still need to work out my own style though, and i need to work on some meat given that I'm a skinny boy
    Beta NF - E-(6w5), 9w1, 4w5 sp/sx

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    Quote Originally Posted by DividedsGhost View Post
    Practice your butt clenches. It will help you get a good feel for how your anus tightens and loosens at your will. Yes, this is necessary. You must learn well every sensation in the body to overcome Si-PoLR. I'm a psychologist, so I know what I'm talking about.
    I just tried doing that 1 time and i cracked a bone in my spine, hmm...I'm doubting your expertise You strange man lol
    Beta NF - E-(6w5), 9w1, 4w5 sp/sx

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