i need some help please
So, I'm in a pickle.
I was reading the Filatova descriptions of IEE and EII and I feel drawn to parts of both.
I feel connected to the descriptions of Ne and Fi except I do get tired of someone and move on...moving on is by far the hardest thing for me to do. When I love something, I love it with all my heart and really takes that person/situation that I am with/in to break it off, not me.
I also don't manipulate or juggle the emotions of others, actually, I hate when people do that because it is not sincere. I feel the same way when a person can invest their time with me (in conversation or in general) and then drop me cold for no apparent reason.Also, I am very strict about incorporating new people into my life, if someone is unjust/hurts me too much, I usually end the relationship unless they ask for forgiveness.
I do find that when I like someone, I get really shy and don't want to show them the parts of me that I think that they won't like.
My moods do vary a lot and at gatherings I am quiet and not the center of attention. Even in smaller groups where I know the people, if someone wants to talk more than me, I am fine with quietly listening, though, if I have something I need to say, I say it and I like to dominate the conversation in spurts like you say, then I say, then you say.
Spiritually is something that is very important to me. I want to be at peace with death and find something greater than myself. I feel empty without it and I feel like my life is missing something.
I am not a fan of religion, but I have been searching for activities that can connect me closer to the universe and God or Aewa.
I used to be very much about going against the grain because I did not like the belief systems of those around me, so I tried everything in my power to separate myself from them.
Now, I prefer to be simple and do not want to stick out from the crowd. I do not like being stared at. Plain, simple, beautiful.
I really connected with the last two paragraphs of the Fi description though I think that when I am sad it shows on my face. My "face to the world" tends to be cold (or sad or irritated or content depending on my mood) unless I see somebody that I know/love. Though I may bury my emotions deep down for awhile, I cannot keep my emotions locked inside of me forever..I have to let them out. I do replay things in my head over and over and I do hold onto things for a long while, especially things that hurt.
I also feel connected to the Ne description though I don't really like the term "morals"-I guess it's sort of me being at peace with myself and the universe. I am a perfectionist, I do beat myself of, I do hold extreme ideals for myself, and I desire nothing more than to be loved and wanted.
Idk about subtypes really, but I feel that for in comparison of the IEE descriptions, I feel that I am much more emotional or Fi than it describes.
I ran out of time, but I also have questions about the Enneagram.
I would really appreciate feed back!