Socionic Types and Love (Humour)

[Krig the Viking]

What Each Socionics Type Would Name a Novel About Love

Don Quixote (ILE): "Love as a Basic Fundamental Principle of the Universe"
Dumas (SEI): "The Path to the Heart (A Collection of Recipes)"
Robspierre (LII): "Analysis of Correlations Between Mating Invertebrates During Sexual Maturity"
Hugo (ESE): "The Love of Life, or Every Day is a Holiday"
Zhukov (SLE): "Love is War: a Memoir."
Yesenin (IEI): "Misty Morning in Stockholm or Arctic Winter in French"
Gorky (LSI): "Love Is On Schedule (Weekdays from 5:00pm to 5:30pm, Weekends from 11:00am to 1:00pm)"
Hamlet (EIE): "What is LOVE? ...Bliss? ...Punishment?"
Napolean (SEE): "Love To Me: All the Facets of Feelings"
Balzac (ILI): "The Sacred Meaning of Love, or All Will Be There"
Jack (LIE): "Love, Wholesale and Retail. A Handbook for Beginners."
Dreiser (ESI): "Perverse Love: RETRIBUTION"
Huxley (IEE): "How to Completely and Permanently Fall In Love With the Right Person after 3 Minutes, and Turn Away the Wrong Person after 5 Minutes."
Gabin (SLI): "Love, From Your Sofa" (Children under 16)
Dostoevsky (EII): "I Love You All! (an Autobiography)"
Stirlitz (LSE): "Love. A Step-by-Step Guide."

Translated from here: http://www.simtim.org/node/3066

I don't really understand the SEE and ILI ones, but the rest are amusing.

[Krig the Viking]

I considered that, actually. It seemed more socionics-related than not, so I wound up posting it here.

Also, is it just me, or are you more crotchety than usual today?

[Cuddly McFluffles]

Funny.

[EyeSeeCold]

whoosh

[Exodus]

Not bad. The ILE one sounds somewhat LII. The LII one is too ish. And yeah the SEE/ILI ones aren't too good.

edit: the IEI one is also odd, but maybe that's fitting

[EyeSeeCold]

That's gross ESC. What is wrong with you?

Yo mama.

[Galen]

All the gamma ones are painfully unfunny. Methinks this was written by Alphaggots (the INTj one seems about right).

[Logos]

All the gamma ones are painfully unfunny. Methinks this was written by Alphaggots (the INTj one seems about right).

Should we take "Alphaggots" as an indication of Delta wit and maturity?

[Creepy-male]

Maybe the SEE one is a jab at Se dominance and being blind to when they're steamrolling other people?

EDIT

And the SEI one is just beautiful

[glam]

lol, these are cute actually.

though i'm not sure about EII, it might fit an Fi-creative better?

the SLE one is perfect. and lol @ the flowery pretentiousness of the IEI title.

[Galen]

Should we take "Alphaggots" as an indication of Delta wit and maturity?

If you see me or my actions as anything wholly indicative of the entire Delta quadra mindset (which I certainly hope I'm not), then go right ahead.

the SLE one is perfect. and lol @ the flowery pretentiousness of the IEI title.

lol yeah, I like the INFp one a lot just because the title has nothing to do with the idea of love. It's the perfect little random INFp non-sequiter that only makes sense to the INFp who thought it up.

[Logos]

You will anyway.

Not at all, actually.

If you see me or my actions as anything wholly indicative of the entire Delta quadra mindset (which I certainly hope I'm not), then go right ahead.

I don't. I see them as indicative of yours.

[Korpsy Knievel]

Maybe the SEE one is a jab at Se dominance and being blind to when they're steamrolling other people?

Napolean (SEE): "Love To Me: All the Facets of Feelings"

Compare with Napoleon hisself: “As for me, to love you alone, to make you happy, to do nothing which would contradict your wishes, this is my destiny and the meaning of my life.” Sounds like a fair few facets to me.

If you actually bother to look up relevant quotes from the persons/characters themselves (other than Dresier and Stirlitz) instead of slapping your knee to this pile of 3rd-party subjectivized yuks you'll find some rather interesting perspectives on amore.

[Creepy-male]

Unwarranted lecture much? What was even the point of that?

[Cuddly McFluffles]

All the gamma ones are painfully unfunny. Methinks this was written by Alphaggots (the INTj one seems about right).

I dunno. I chuckled at LIE and ESI.

Krig, have you seen the one about types meeting a mugger in an alley? It's pretty funny, too. I can't think of the site, but I might be able to find it later.

[Krig the Viking]

I dunno. I chuckled at LIE and ESI.

Krig, have you seen the one about types meeting a mugger in an alley? It's pretty funny, too. I can't think of the site, but I might be able to find it later.

Sounds neat! I hope you find it!

[Cuddly McFluffles]

Here's the untranslated version. There are some other funny articles on the site as well.

[DirectorAbbie]

, but I don't get the SLI one.

[DividedsGhost]

Huxley (IEE): "How to Completely and Permanently Fall In Love With the Right Person after 3 Minutes, and Turn Away the Wrong Person after 5 Minutes."

LOL, Ti-PoLR perfect.

[glam]

though i'm not sure about EII, it might fit an Fi-creative better?

jk, i realized that it can fit drunk EIIs very well at least, lol.

[Hot Scalding Gayser]

It's the perfect little random INFp non-sequiter that only makes sense to the INFp who thought it up.

I bet your asshole feels really good on my cock, Gay-len. How is that dreamy and mystical and INFp-ish for ya?

[Hot Scalding Gayser]

Gay-len says:

If you see me or my actions as anything wholly indicative of the entire Delta quadra mindset (which I certainly hope I'm not), then go right ahead.

LOL. Bottoms are so passive-aggressive. <3

[Krig the Viking]

On a somewhat related subject, I've recently completed a study on how the various Socionics types respond to different stimuli. Here are the results from one of the recent tests:

How the Socionics Types Respond to Discovering a Unicorn in the Forest

ILE: "This is amazing! How did it get here? Maybe it flew in from outer space! Or an alternate dimension! What if..."
SEI: "Awww, looook, I think he's lost! And he looks hungry..."
LII: "Hmm. It appears to be a unicorn, but is it really? We should analyze it to find out."
ESE: "LOOK! A UNICORN! OH MY GOODNESS THEY'RE REAL!!!"

EIE: "This is amazing! People will remember this day for millenia, as the day mankind discovered the MYSTICAL UNICORN!"
LSI: "There is no such thing as unicorns. Therefore, that is not a unicorn."
IEI: "I've always known in my heart that unicorns had to exist. Because deep down, the real unicorns are the magic in our souls..."
SLE: "It's going to get away! Where's my gun?"

ILI: "I knew it. The government has been covering up the existence of unicorns for years."
SEE: "I love it! I want one. Buy it for me."
LIE: "I'll bet if we capture it, we can sell it to a zoo for a lot of money."
ESI: "Unicorns are the devil's creatures. We should burn it."

EII: "Oh, look at that poor thing. What if it's the last of it's kind? We have a responsibility to help it."
LSE: "I don't care if it's a fire-breathing dragon, it's blocking the road and we have work to do!"
IEE: "Wow, look! It's a griffin! Do you think it has a nest nearby? Maybe it's a mother protecting her eggs!"
SLI: "Huh."

[Slacker]

Is the IEE one a typo or do you really think we'd mistake a unicorn for a griffin?

ROFL though

[ashlesha]

the LSI and ESI ones made me llol.

[Cuddly McFluffles]

That's wonderful.

[DirectorAbbie]

How the Socionics Types Respond to Discovering a Unicorn in the Forest

ILE: "This is amazing! How did it get here? Maybe it flew in from outer space! Or an alternate dimension! What if..."
SEI: "Awww, looook, I think he's lost! And he looks hungry..."
LII: "Hmm. It appears to be a unicorn, but is it really? We should analyze it to find out."
ESE: "LOOK! A UNICORN! OH MY GOODNESS THEY'RE REAL!!!"

EIE: "This is amazing! People will remember this day for millenia, as the day mankind discovered the MYSTICAL UNICORN!"
LSI: "There is no such thing as unicorns. Therefore, that is not a unicorn."
IEI: "I've always known in my heart that unicorns had to exist. Because deep down, the real unicorns are the magic in our souls..."
SLE: "It's going to get away! Where's my gun?"

ILI: "I knew it. The government has been covering up the existence of unicorns for years."
SEE: "I love it! I want one. Buy it for me."
LIE: "I'll bet if we capture it, we can sell it to a zoo for a lot of money."
ESI: "Unicorns are the devil's creatures. We should burn it."

EII: "Oh, look at that poor thing. What if it's the last of it's kind? We have a responsibility to help it."
LSE: "I don't care if it's a fire-breathing dragon, it's blocking the road and we have work to do!"
IEE: "Wow, look! It's a griffin! Do you think it has a nest nearby? Maybe it's a mother protecting her eggs!"
SLI: "Huh."

Actually, I'd be more like, "Hey, a unicorn. Maybe it's good for something."

[ashlesha]

lol, pretty sure nobody should actually be able to say they'd react exactly the way their type did in that joke...

edit: i think i would probably respond most like the ESE or the LII, really

[Krig the Viking]

Is the IEE one a typo or do you really think we'd mistake a unicorn for a griffin?

ROFL though

Honestly, with some of the IEEs I know, it would not surprise me a bit. They would think "mythical creature" and then reach for the wrong word.

[Krig the Viking]

lol, pretty sure nobody should actually be able to say they'd react exactly the way their type did in that joke...

Haha, my goodness, I hope not!

[Korpsy Knievel]

Instead of humorous (?) conjecture colored by the prejudicing apperception of some unknown yutz, a more revealing collection of quotes on love, each direct from the various sociotypes' namesakes (plus a shot of gamma polr-Fe from yours truly to kill the sap-slappy mood with gravity, wooooo; don't cry, Egbert):

ILE - Don Quixote: “My heart is wax to be moulded as she pleases, but enduring as marble to retain.”

SEI - Dumas: "Pure love and suspicion cannot dwell together: at the door where the latter enters, the former makes its exit."

LII - Robspierre: "Again, it may be said, that to love justice and equality the people need no great effort of virtue; it is sufficient that they love themselves."

ESE - Hugo: "The greatest happiness of life is the conviction that we are loved -- loved for ourselves, or rather, loved in spite of ourselves."

SLE - Zhukov: "I enjoy being the bad guy. It's a lot easier to get people to hate you than to love you."

IEI - Yesenin: "My love has changed; I know you feel upset about the situation. / The crescent's sweeper couldn't spill / The pools of lyrical creation."

LSI - Gorky: "When one loves somebody everything is clear - where to go, what to do - it all takes care of itself and one doesn't have to ask anybody about anything."

EIE - Hamlet: "Doubt thou the stars are fire; Doubt that the sun doth move; Doubt truth to be a liar; But never doubt I love."

SEE - Napolean: "You are leaving at noon; I shall see you in three hours. Until then, mio dolce amor, a thousand kisses; but give me none in return, for they set my blood on fire."

ILI - Balzac: "A woman knows the face of the man she loves as a sailor knows the open sea."

LIE - Jack: "Wherefore I marry Hester Stebbins. I am not impelled by the archaic sex madness of the beast, nor by the obsolescent romance madness of later-day man. I contract a tie which reason tells me is based upon health and sanity and compatibility. My intellect shall delight in that tie."

ESI - Dreiser: "Remember, love is all a woman has to give, but it is the only thing which God permits us to carry beyond the grave."

IEE - Huxley: "Love casts out fear; but conversely fear casts out love."

SLI - Gabin: ???

EII - Dostoevsky: "On our earth we can only love with suffering and through suffering. We cannot love otherwise, and we know of no other sort of love. I want suffering in order to love. I long, I thirst, this very instant, to kiss with tears the earth that I have left, and I don't want, I won't accept life on any other!"

LSE - Stirlitz: ???

[stray]

SLI - Gabin: ???

"T'as d'beaux yeux, tu sais." (You have beautiful eyes, you know)

*Shrug*.. His most famous line apparently. A simple guy, I guess.


Nice effort btw

[golden]

Filling in the blank for k0rps:

LSE - Stirlitz: "Stirlitz opened a door. The lights went on. Stirlitz closed the door. The lights went out. Stirlitz opened the door again. The light went back on. Stirlitz closed the door. The light went out again. 'It's a refrigerator,' concluded Stirlitz."

Since I've said a few times that my LSE ex treated me like a refrigerator, I'll go with this one.

EDIT: "A flower pot fell off the window sill of the secret apartment and smashed Stirlitz on the head. This was the signal that his wife had just given birth to a son. Stirlitz shed a single manly tear. He hadn’t been home for seven years."

"Neither is Stirlitz a ladies' man, once turning down the chance to indulge with a bevy of prostitutes with the line, 'I'd rather have a cup of coffee.'"

[ashlesha]

that was very awesome korp!

@ the stirlitz

[Korpsy Knievel]

Thanks for the additions, I am unfamiliar with either of those person(a)s.

[DirectorAbbie]

LSE - Stirlitz: "Stirlitz opened a door. The lights went on. Stirlitz closed the door. The lights went out. Stirlitz opened the door again. The light went back on. Stirlitz closed the door. The light went out again. 'It's a refrigerator,' concluded Stirlitz."

Lol.

[Creepy-]

I was laughing at the cheap humour provided by the over-emphasized stereotypical caricatures of the types, but then k0rpsey's post was pretty awesome.

[Exodus]

Instead of humorous (?) conjecture colored by the prejudicing apperception of some unknown yutz, a more revealing collection of quotes on love, each direct from the various sociotypes' namesakes (plus a shot of gamma polr-Fe from yours truly to kill the sap-slappy mood with gravity, wooooo; don't cry, Egbert):

ILE - Don Quixote: “My heart is wax to be moulded as she pleases, but enduring as marble to retain.”

SEI - Dumas: "Pure love and suspicion cannot dwell together: at the door where the latter enters, the former makes its exit."

LII - Robspierre: "Again, it may be said, that to love justice and equality the people need no great effort of virtue; it is sufficient that they love themselves."

ESE - Hugo: "The greatest happiness of life is the conviction that we are loved -- loved for ourselves, or rather, loved in spite of ourselves."

SLE - Zhukov: "I enjoy being the bad guy. It's a lot easier to get people to hate you than to love you."

IEI - Yesenin: "My love has changed; I know you feel upset about the situation. / The crescent's sweeper couldn't spill / The pools of lyrical creation."

LSI - Gorky: "When one loves somebody everything is clear - where to go, what to do - it all takes care of itself and one doesn't have to ask anybody about anything."

EIE - Hamlet: "Doubt thou the stars are fire; Doubt that the sun doth move; Doubt truth to be a liar; But never doubt I love."

SEE - Napolean: "You are leaving at noon; I shall see you in three hours. Until then, mio dolce amor, a thousand kisses; but give me none in return, for they set my blood on fire."

ILI - Balzac: "A woman knows the face of the man she loves as a sailor knows the open sea."

LIE - Jack: "Wherefore I marry Hester Stebbins. I am not impelled by the archaic sex madness of the beast, nor by the obsolescent romance madness of later-day man. I contract a tie which reason tells me is based upon health and sanity and compatibility. My intellect shall delight in that tie."

ESI - Dreiser: "Remember, love is all a woman has to give, but it is the only thing which God permits us to carry beyond the grave."

IEE - Huxley: "Love casts out fear; but conversely fear casts out love."

SLI - Gabin: ???

EII - Dostoevsky: "On our earth we can only love with suffering and through suffering. We cannot love otherwise, and we know of no other sort of love. I want suffering in order to love. I long, I thirst, this very instant, to kiss with tears the earth that I have left, and I don't want, I won't accept life on any other!"

LSE - Stirlitz: ???

OH MY GOD THIS IS AMAZING. Well worth the wait.

[Timmy]

@ K0rpsey. Nice work digging up that material.

[Korpsy Knievel]

Danke, though it was a re-dig. I'd compiled a list in notepad some days ago but instead of saving the document or pasting its content here I closed it on the grounds that it constituted a pile of mush.