Yet another attempt

[mirrorsoul]

This is me... sigh. Better do this now...



One interesting complication... even though I'm physically male, I like to be called "she." The reason for that is... umm, well, basically, because I want to be a girl, and I'm probably going to go through a process at some point that will allow me to do that. For more information, read here.

I wasn't planning on sharing this... but there are two main reasons I've decided to do so:

1. I really want to figure out my type, and I've tried everything else.

2. Some people were apparently only talking to me because they thought I was a girl physically, and I feel bad about it. They should know to go ahead and ignore me if that's what they're looking for.

[Slacker]

I sensed you were female but I certainly wasn't only talking to you for that reason or were you assuming guys were talking to you for that reason?

Anyway, off to see the video now.

Is this why your dad is so awful to you? Are there resources in your area for the LGBT community that could help? It does not sound like a healthy environment for you at all.

[mirrorsoul]

I sensed you were female but I certainly wasn't only talking to you for that reason or were you assuming guys were talking to you for that reason?

It's mostly the guys... one of them told me as much.

Is this why your dad is so awful to you? Are there resources in your area for the LGBT community that could help? It does not sound like a healthy environment for you at all.

No, he doesn't know about that... he just dislikes my personality.

[Jinxi]

Hi, you're ISFj.

How do you feel about that?

[Sir Knight]

Hi, you're ISFj.

How do you feel about that?

What makes you think ESI over EII?

[pianosinger]

Definitely Introvert. Ij>Ip.

EII still seems like a good possibility. You did say your were pretty certain about being NF before...

I have a brother whom you very much remind me of. I *think* he is INFj...

Good for you coming out of your shell to make and post this video Feels kinda good? I hope...

[Slacker]

I still think EII but you still have to figure it out for yourself.

[Beautiful sky]

Do you moan when you eat your food? If yes, than why?

[mirrorsoul]

Do you moan when you eat your food? If yes, than why?

No, I meant that I get headaches when I skip meals... this wasn't part of my usual routine, so I hadn't eaten Breakfast or Lunch at my normal times that day. I was so distracted.

EDIT: Oh, MOAN... umm, not usually. Perhaps I would make some kind of sound like "Mmm" if it's really good food?

[crazedrat]

I think you're a fucked up ENFp

[mirrorsoul]

Hi Mirrorsoul I have watched a couple of your videos and something just doesn't quite add up in the way that you talk about travel routes in detail etc and yet also say that you don't take in details around. I have seen this behaviour in several people with very slight asperger's syndrome. So if you don't mind I would like to ask you a question.
Is there any slight asperger's syndrome etc, depression etc type medications that you are on or anything else that could be considered significant to obscuring/clouding your type?

Well, I'm not used to traveling or navigating on my own. I'm used to having my mother drive me around. I don't actually find these things interesting, I'm talking about them because they're new to me, and I'm kind of... I don't know, reassuring myself because I was able to do it? I've always felt incompetent in that area. This is only the third time I've used public transportation in my life.

I was planning out the routes in detail because I'm nervous about getting lost, but I'm doing that less now that I've found that the system is pretty well connected, and even if I make a mistake, I can find a way back. I usually only plan things out like that or try to visualize something that carefully when I don't trust myself with something. It's not compulsive or typical of me.

I did read a description of Asperger's a while back, and a couple of the things fit... it really worries me, because I would be terrified to think I come across that badly. I've always been kind of unnerved by some of the behavior of people who do have it, and I hope I'm not like that...

Does that make sense?

[Jinxi]

Do you consider yourself to be gay, lesbian or straight?

[Korpsy Knievel]

mirrorsoul is the reincarnation of Paul Lynde.

[mirrorsoul]

Do you consider yourself to be gay, lesbian or straight?

I don't know... I've never been attracted to anyone sexually. I suppose I'll find out one day.

[Jinxi]

I don't know... I've never been attracted to anyone sexually. I suppose I'll find out one day.

Why do you want to be a woman then?

[Slacker]

Sexual attraction and gender identity are two different things. And Mirrosoul doesn't live in an environment where sexual feelings are safe at the moment. Maybe when she's living alone or somewhere else.

Everyone, be kind here.

[Jinxi]

Sexual attraction and gender identity are two different things. And Mirrosoul doesn't live in an environment where sexual feelings are safe at the moment. Maybe when she's living alone or somewhere else.

Everyone, be kind here.

How old is he?

[mirrorsoul]

Why do you want to be a woman then?

Well, because I feel physical and emotional discomfort from having the wrong body. When I say it feels like I'm in the wrong body, I mean that literally...

It's not about sex. It's about the way the body feels, gender identity. If it were just about sex, I would be a homosexual man... it's really hard to explain, but it's not the same thing.

Honestly, I'm not sure that I ever will feel attracted to anyone... being trapped in a male body has been so traumatic for me that I'm not sure I can get past it enough to ever fall in love. It's just made me feel as though I've been harmed or violated in some way by the whole existence of physical gender and sex.

[Jinxi]

Well, because I feel physical and emotional discomfort from having the wrong body. When I say it feels like I'm in the wrong body, I mean that literally...

It's not about sex. It's about the way the body feels, gender identity. If it were just about sex, I would be a homosexual man... it's really hard to explain, but it's not the same thing.

Honestly, I'm not sure that I ever will feel attracted to anyone... being trapped in a male body has been so traumatic for me that I'm not sure I can get past it enough to ever fall in love. It's just made me feel as though I've been harmed or violated in some way by the whole existence of physical gender and sex.

So how do you know that becoming a woman is the right decision?

[mirrorsoul]

So how do you know that becoming a woman is the right decision?

Well, logically, I don't know that... in fact, I'm pretty sure it's illogical for someone to want to be female, as many downsides as there are. But emotionally and physically, it just seems right. And I've felt this way for as long as I can remember.

If I don't do it... I'll always wonder if things might have been better. The way I see it, it's a choice between just playing it safe and remaining vaguely miserable... or taking a chance and trying something that could make me feel better, and which I've always thought would.

Also, I've talked to a lot of people who felt the same way, and usually they tell me... that going forward with this made them a lot happier.

Finally, there's a chance that I may never go forward with it, though I want to... but I know that I will always see myself as female on the inside, whether I do this or not.

[Slacker]

I'm pretty sure the process involves a huge amount of counselling.

[Jinxi]

http://www.parakaleo.co.uk/article9.html

Admittedly I felt desperate to have a sex-change operation, but I’m not sure I knew my own mind,’ recalls Sandra. ‘The psychiatrist told me that as long as I was felt that I was the wrong gender, I could have the hormones there and then. I had a one-hour interview with a psychiatrist, who was happy to refer me to a surgeon. He kept asking me if I played with dolls and prams when I was a child, and did I want to wear dresses? For me, it was about hating my body, but I hate it more now it’s been butchered. I tried to talk about how repulsive I thought my father was who abused me and beat my mother. My sex change was me trying to run away from myself. I’d have been better having therapy than surgery.’

[Beautiful sky]

She doesn't need this people. She needs love and support; it's her body and I'm sure she'll decide how she wants to manage her life and get the informations she needs to make an informed decision.

[Jinxi]

She doesn't need this people. She needs love and support; it's her body and I'm sure she'll decide how she wants to manage her life.

What is "this"?

[Slacker]

Well let's hope mirrorsoul has much more counselling than that! Mirrorsoul - make sure to demand plenty of counselling before anything permanent is done!

[Slacker]

What is "this"?

Arguing about whether or not she is actually transgendered and should go through with this process.

Anyway, it's a typing thread, not an education thread on gender identity.

[Jinxi]

Arguing about whether or not she is actually transgendered and should go through with this process.

Anyway, it's a typing thread, not an education thread on gender identity.

Sure is, that's why I am asking her questions.

[Beautiful sky]

Arguing about whether or not she is actually transgendered and should go through with this process.

Anyway, it's a typing thread, not an education thread on gender identity.

This.

[Jinxi]

This.

I've given her a type. You haven't.

[Beautiful sky]

I've given her a type. You haven't.

I've typed her. I type her as my Benefit relations SEI and because I benefit from her Si and enjoy the company of her Fe, as I do the same with my ESE sister.

[Jinxi]

I've typed her. I type her as my Benefit relations SEI and because I benefit from her Si and enjoy the company of her Fe, as I do the same with my ESE sister.

You are so bad. Refrain from typing anyone.

[mirrorsoul]

http://www.parakaleo.co.uk/article9.html

Admittedly I felt desperate to have a sex-change operation, but I’m not sure I knew my own mind,’ recalls Sandra. ‘The psychiatrist told me that as long as I was felt that I was the wrong gender, I could have the hormones there and then. I had a one-hour interview with a psychiatrist, who was happy to refer me to a surgeon. He kept asking me if I played with dolls and prams when I was a child, and did I want to wear dresses? For me, it was about hating my body, but I hate it more now it’s been butchered. I tried to talk about how repulsive I thought my father was who abused me and beat my mother. My sex change was me trying to run away from myself. I’d have been better having therapy than surgery.’

I've read about such stories, believe me. I was never prepared to trust myself on these feelings until recently. I've tried every kind of rationalization to avoid doing it, tried to figure out and address every emotional cause...

I've read about stories of people who are happy after this, and people who are unhappy after this... I don't think I'm running away from myself, but even if I somehow am, I've decided that I want to find out. I think this is a step I need to take...

I hope that you can accept my feelings, but if you are one of those who feel that what I'm doing is wrong/perverted/immoral... then I accept that you might be right. I have no way of knowing that, but there's a chance you could be right about me.

It just seems like all you can really do in a situation like this, is collect as much data and advice as possible... and then trust yourself. You can't let someone else make a decision like this for you, or ignore your own feelings. As tempting as it might be to abdicate responsibility for my own happiness, just doing whatever my family wants, or what society wants...

[Jinxi]

I've read about such stories, believe me. I was never prepared to trust myself on these feelings until recently. I've tried every kind of rationalization to avoid doing it, tried to figure out and address every emotional cause...

I've read about stories of people who are happy after this, and people who are unhappy after this... I don't think I'm running away from myself, but even if I somehow am, I've decided that I want to find out. I think this is a step I need to take...

I hope that you can accept my feelings, but if you are one of those who feel that what I'm doing is wrong/perverted/immoral... then I accept that you might be right. I have no way of knowing that, but there's a chance you could be right about me.

It just seems like all you can really do in a situation like this, is collect as much data and advice as possible... and then trust yourself. You can't let someone else make a decision like this for you, or ignore your own feelings.

Do whatever you like. Your actions have no effect on me: We live in two distinct worlds that will never converge.

[mirrorsoul]

Do whatever you like. Your actions have no effect on me: We live in two distinct worlds that will never converge.

Ah, thanks... that's pretty much how I've come to look at it. Other people's decisions usually won't affect me, because we live in different worlds.

It only makes sense to concern myself terribly with the choices of others when their decisions affect me directly. Doing otherwise is an exercise in futility and frustration.

[Exodus]

Hi Mirrorsoul. In that video I mainly see you using a lot of intuition (talking about being on time and such) and logic (procedures involved in jury duty). I would guess LII.

[crazedrat]

He/she is slightly autistic. It's clear from the video. Also you seem really fuckin anxious.
The anxiety and autism cloud this persons real typing, which is ENFp. Alot of people are saying introvert.. that is wrong.

[ashlesha]

i'm being redundant now, but i still think EII.

[mirrorsoul]

He/she is slightly autistic. It's clear from the video.

Wow.

Is that really what everyone thinks?

[Slacker]

I don't think that. I do think you might have some anxiety problems, but that's not unexpected giving the situation you're living in atm.

[Beautiful sky]

Wow.

Is that really what everyone thinks?

No.