Ok so this is a recurring theme, and it's something I'd like to talk about seriously. I'm not trying to be 'macho' or trying to belittle delta NFs here - I want to have an open dialogue about something.
(FYI I will define taskmaster in the following way: "someone who imposes hard or continuous work" is a starting point, but more so, wanting someone like that in your life and the relationship you have with that kind of person. I'm not talking about a mega jerk "boss" type person, but more like "and administrator" of some sort, that is very upfront about goals, production, regulation, etc)
My first real experience with what I'd like to describe was with a delta NF friend. She was an EII. And she was strong and independent and all that. She was well educated and professional. But, over time, she revealed that she was 'needy' in certain ways, and it had to do with addressing certain issues in her life. I remember essentially being asked to holder her hand and calm her down when she was starting a project that was difficult or stressful. And I remember her calling me on the phone more than once to talk about something chaotic in her life and figure out how to proceed forward.
You could say "weak Se and weak Te".
But furthermore, with this person and with others, with both types of NFs, there is this sort of very strong sense of desiring for a 'benevolent taskmaster', and at times almost a refusal to acknowledge it. It depends a lot on the NFs disposition of 'accepting help" from other people or their appearance of being needy.
I'm not really interested in 'arguing' about whether or not it's there, or the right semantics to address it. But I am interested in finding out// discussing what works for delta NFs.
Some questions to consider
- What kind of relationship level/closeness do you prefer for someone being a 'taskmaster' with you?
- In very close / intimate relationships, have you had someone play the role of taskmaster? If yes, how did that go? If not, would you prefer someone like that? Why / why not?
- Describe what it is like to either 'rely on' or 'appreciate' other people being a taskmaster in your life. How does it help or benefit you? How does it bother you?
- How does someone being a taskmaster affect your sense of well being?
- What are common situations that come up that you feel either like you'd prefer to have a taskmaster in your life to help deal with OR you have learned about how to deal with on your own?
- Do you associate "taskmaster" with someone having an interest in your life? Or concern for your well being? Do you feel like something is wrong or missing or you're not being helped in an important way if someone isn't like that in your life?
- Do you have any general advice "for" the taskmaster? Things you like or don't like that they do?
- What has worked for you, personally, to grow and become better at being productive? (This is just about you, and not necessarily about a taskmaster or its influence)
That's a good starting point.
More to come.