INFj type and subtype description from socioniko.narod.ru

[Creepy-guest]

wow... finally an active INFJ forum. Been looking for one for awhile.

I was wondering if entp would be good in relationship with an infj?

I've tried a relationship with another infj. It was really great, but when we both had problems, we had noone to turn to really, since none of us wanted to be protecting personality. Another thing could be lack of understanding, since we lived far from eachoter, much communication was written (msn) and since we both expected the other to read our minds, without really being able to do so sometimes, we ended up frustrated.

So i guess i'm looking for something different by now.

[diamond]

An entp would be good for you, but it wouldn't be so good for an entp, since according to socionics, the relationship is one of supervision, with infj as the supervisor and entp as the supervisee!

[NeonMonk]

Being a supervisor isn't a good thing.

[Cone]

Indeed.

[diamond]

Being a supervisor isn't a good thing.

Perhaps not, but supervisee is worse.

[Koneko]

I was wondering if entp would be good in relationship with an infj?

You for sure~ but the entp? nope~~

^^;

[Megan]

He is my favourite author though I imagine he is not for everyone. I am sure he is Delta but which NF I am not certain. I have read all his books(I have the whole collection in hardback no less) and they are very INFj but when I have seen interviews with him he does seem rather more outgoing and overtly friendly than the average INFj- then he seems more like an ENFp. My final guess though would be INFj.

[Expat]

I think INFjs can be very outgoing and friendly.

As for INFj authors, perhaps the best example is Goethe.

[Topaz]

I had an INFJ girlfriend who was very sweet and freindly but in a modest sort of way that an ENFP would not be. Some ENFPs can be almost pushy when it comes to getting to the core of who a person is. Its like "OK lets cut to the chase, what are you about?" Its almost crucial not to let ENFPs find out too much early on. :wink:
One funny thing about this INFJ is that she didnt like to read much and I found that strange. I assumed INFJs are born with a book in their hand. I dont know how it fits in the mothers womb. Maybe there is a little library tucked in the placenta. :wink:
Anyway there is this outward easy going /inward tension thing that was funny. We formed some sort of psychic connection that transended time and space. Even after she moved away I could feel the connection.


topaz

[Expat]

I had an INFJ girlfriend who was very sweet and freindly but in a modest sort of way that an ENFP would not be. Some ENFPs can be almost pushy when it comes to getting to the core of who a person is. Its like "OK lets cut to the chase, what are you about?" Its almost crucial not to let ENFPs find out too much early on. :wink:
One funny thing about this INFJ is that she didnt like to read much and I found that strange. I assumed INFJs are born with a book in their hand. I dont know how it fits in the mothers womb. Maybe there is a little library tucked in the placenta. :wink:
Anyway there is this outward easy going /inward tension thing that was funny. We formed some sort of psychic connection that transended time and space. Even after she moved away I could feel the connection.


topaz

Are you sure your friend is an INFJ? Could she be ISFJ instead?

[Cone]

Why would you say ISFj?

[Topaz]

Are you sure your friend is an INFJ? Could she be ISFJ instead?

Im fairly certain she was INFJ. I have known ISFJs and did not share that kind of connection nor did our conversations take the kind of turn that they did with her. Later when I learned about type I called her up and gave her the Kiersey test. I tried not to bais the questions but I could feel her answers before she even said them. Infact I wrote down INFJ on a piece of paper before she took the test just to see how close I would get. Some of her answers surpised me but most were dead on. In the end she tested as INFJ. We stayed in touch for a few years then lost contact. I learned from her best friend that she got married and I asked for her new number. When I called her it was great. She said she remembered the test and she had bought Kiersey's book. Her husband was ESTJ. I didnt know anything about socioinics at the time but now Im very happy for her. She had been through alot with her disfunctional family.
OK thats all

Topaz

[Expat]

Why would you say ISFj?

I know two ISFjs, and one INFj, pretty well, and Topaz's description of her as "very sweet and friendly but in a modest sort of way" and not much interested in reading seemed to fit the two ISFjs better than the INFj. Yet, I can see how one could mistake the two ISFjs for INFjs (but not the INFj for ISFj).

Just my intuition trying to be too clever -- it was after all too little information.

[Topaz]

I didnt give much detail. The INFJs Ive known seem like ISFJs in that they are quiet and modest and tend to dress modestly. IMO ISFJs pay more attention to their clothing are more concerned about fitting in and with obeying rules and such. INFJs will seem boring at first. I think they do this on purpose in order not to attract too much attention. If they notice you or like you they gradually begin to let you in by saying little things to tip you off that they have a private inner world that goes far beyond what you see on the surface. It begins with the eyes. No matter how bizzare my behavior they seem to just be laughing inside. They dont shy away form strange, foriegn or otherworldly things. After a while it was like "(gasp) you can read my mind". But I could read hers too so it was cool.
With this one INFJ I seemed to act out all the stuff that she would repress. She had a way of making me say the things she would be embarrased to. Then she would squeal with laughter. She was so evil. I loved it

[Polly_G]

My ex was an INFJ and we are still very close even after being split for 2 years. There is just something about him that I can't stay away from but the thing I HATE and what keeps us apart is his supervisory attitude.

I can't tell you how much I hate this. One it feels an awful like control which I hate and two it feels demeaning like I'm some kind of child who needs to be told what to do.

I find he would play devil's advocate far more than I would always pointing out the faults in my plans (which I already took into consideration).

Basically I love him to pieces but he drives me so nuts we can't live under the same roof.

Its a shame too because out of every guy I've dated, he is the one I relate to the most. We also enjoyed a lot of the same things and we both had a great sense of humour.

He was far more emotional than me though.

[flower]

A few quick questions for INFj's

If the smartest interlocutor explains his opinion in the form of speculations, instead of short and resolute formulations, then Dostoyevsky feels permanently dissatisfied and unhappy of being together with him. And his main requirement to his partner is: faithfulness. He does not forgive infidelity.

Do you respect and bond better with people who make judgements about things, rather than sit on the fence, despite what the judgement actually is?

Do you like people to have opinions about everything, whether it be how good a music song is, if you like/dislike someone, if you like a sport, etc, whatever it is?

Would you advise a friend who has been cheated on to leave the relationship and not forgive?

I pretty sure i know an INFj and this is how he comes across, I would be interested to hear any comments you have about these things. Thankyou in advance.

[Darklord]

Do you respect and bond better with people who make judgements about things, rather than sit on the fence, despite what the judgement actually is?

I usually don't think so. However, there might be a grain of truth in it. I mean, my best friend where I currently live is my polar opposite on the political chart, and I very much look up to his firm belief in what he thinks is right, even though I disagree with his assessment.

Do you like people to have opinions about everything, whether it be how good a music song is, if you like/dislike someone, if you like a sport, etc, whatever it is?

Is it possible not to have an opinion about something if you have the vaguest idea what it is? Besides, what fun is talking to people if the only thing they can say is "I guess... I really don't have an opinion about it"?

Would you advise a friend who has been cheated on to leave the relationship and not forgive?

Absolutely. The partner would then have revealed that they either lack any willpower whatsoever, they are untrustworthy or they just don't care about the relationship. Any way, they'd be sure to repeat.
As for "not forgive", forgiveness is a good thing. Forgive, just don't put your trust in them again.

I pretty sure i know an INFj and this is how he comes across, I would be interested to hear any comments you have about these things. Thankyou in advance.

I suggest you observe. If he comes across like this, then that is probably his meaning. My own experience leads me to believe that we INFjs usually don't lie or put on fake masks, at least not for long (Because if I try that, the "mask" always slips after a short while, and I'd feel like a felon). We just try not to show off the truth.

[flower]

Thanks Darklord

Is it possible not to have an opinion about something if you have the vaguest idea what it is? Besides, what fun is talking to people if the only thing they can say is "I guess... I really don't have an opinion about it"?

Well, i tend to have only weak, and often indecisive opinions of things, for example, how good a film was, but i take you point, it's rare if not impossible to be completely opinionless. I can see what you mean, I often say that film was ok, or that music song was pretty good :- generally not firm resolute opinions. I dont like to give firm opinions especially before I know what everyone else thinks, as I dont want to have to defend an opinion i dont fully believe myself. The INFj i know seems to be energised when someone has strong opinions, and especially seeems to respect people who hold an opinion that is against everyone else. It's as if this gives that person a stronger identity, which the INFj likes. This may be just an incorrect perception on my part and of course they is variation between groups and individuals.

I suggest you observe. If he comes across like this, then that is probably his meaning. My own experience leads me to believe that we INFjs usually don't lie or put on fake masks, at least not for long (Because if I try that, the "mask" always slips after a short while, and I'd feel like a felon). We just try not to show off the truth.

I will observe and bear this in mind

[flower]

Another quick question about INFj's if i may,

Do you like science type subjects, such as physics, chemisty, astronomy and maths?

In the description it says you are interested in almost everything, but often only discuss things that the particular people you are with like.

I know you are interested in people (celebrities, friends, etc) and things that relate to people, eg socionics, but science type subjects don't seem to be something that inspires you.

Any comments?, thanks.

[Darklord]

Another quick question about INFj's if i may,

Do you like science type subjects, such as physics, chemisty, astronomy and maths?

In the description it says you are interested in almost everything, but often only discuss things that the particular people you are with like.

I know you are interested in people (celebrities, friends, etc) and things that relate to people, eg socionics, but science type subjects don't seem to be something that inspires you.

Any comments?, thanks.

I am not particularily interested in the "hard sciences", particularily because of the rudimentary nature of the basic levels. While I do find their applications and the "far-out" theories interesting, they are just too stagnant for my tastes. You could say that I'm interested in parts of them.
I can hold my own in a discusssion in those subjects, however, as long as the other person is not too highly educated in them.
Science inspires when it appeals to the imagination. For instance, I find the physics of outer space enthralling (In smaller doses) because of the possibilities they embody. I also enjoy reading about new technology, for the very same reason.

It is true that strong beliefs make me respect people, and there's no belief so strong as the one only held by a single person. However, it is quite possible to get obnoxious. As long as you keep rationality and common courtesy in mind you should be fine, however. Just avoid coming across as a fanatic.

Don't be afraid to ask anything. I'll be happy to answer any questions.

[flower]

Thanks for the insight Darklord

It's very helpful to get confirmation about these things in the descriptions and about what I have observed.

It is true that strong beliefs make me respect people, and there's no belief so strong as the one only held by a single person. However, it is quite possible to get obnoxious. As long as you keep rationality and common courtesy in mind you should be fine, however. Just avoid coming across as a fanatic.

I understand your line of thought, I see how your dislike of obnoxiousness and arrogance fits in now. Don't worry, I don't like to stand out in a group (polr related) so won't be doing the stuff above, I get on well with INFj's

Don't be afraid to ask anything. I'll be happy to answer any questions

Ok, just one more :wink: Are you quite competitive when playing a game or sport if you play one? Is it important to win?, or is the social event (people having fun etc) more important?

[Polly_G]

The INFj i know seems to be energised when someone has strong opinions, and especially seeems to respect people who hold an opinion that is against everyone else. It's as if this gives that person a stronger identity, which the INFj likes. This may be just an incorrect perception on my part and of course they is variation between groups and individuals.

My INFJ ex (and still very close friend) and I have discussions on why we relate so well and he respects me so much. Here is what we came up with:

1. Neither are superficial
2. We learn from each other (something that can't be done with someone who always has the same opinion)
3. Each and every event has more significance for us than the average joe. We tend to see connections to bigger pictures. We can't discuss these revelations with just anyone. Maybe your INFJ friend hasn't realized that yet.

Our approach is very different though. He's an introvert in his thinking and tend to focus on the details. I am an extrovert and tend to focus on the big picture. Quite often we learn the same lessons though even though we are looking different pictures.

[Darklord]

Ok, just one more :wink: Are you quite competitive when playing a game or sport if you play one? Is it important to win?, or is the social event (people having fun etc) more important?

Hmm... That depends. I usually try to stay reserved (And I manage: The only facial expression that is impossible to truly hide is a smile), but if the atmosphere is correct and the other players get competitive, I might, too.
I play no sports, part because I hate it and part because it is a lose-lose scenario. If I lose, I dislike it. If the others win, they dislike it, and I pick it up. Suffice to say, that can really ruin a good victory .
Usually, the social event is much more important than the game.

[flower]

Thought you might says something along those lines

Thanks for the info Darklord, its appreciated, I think I understand a little about INFj's now.

[Darklord]

Thanks for the info Darklord, its appreciated, I think I understand a little about INFj's now.

Then you've done better than me .

[SLeo123083]

I know you are interested in people (celebrities, friends, etc) and things that relate to people, eg socionics, but science type subjects don't seem to be something that inspires you.

That's true for the most part. Science is much more INT than INF. I'm very good at science because of my built-in IN-ness, but it really doesn't motivate me. It's like a science course is an easy A for me, but I won't really feel enriched or 'better' after taking it.

Is it important to win?, or is the social event (people having fun etc) more important?

I'm not competitive at all really. I don't really desire to win anything, which surprises people. To me, we all win if we're nice to each other and if we try to make the game equal. It's not as after school special as it sounds in real life though. I won't be the one to really say 'can't we all get along', usually, I just try to imply it in my actions and behavior. I try to silently boost up other people to lead, if I feel somebody is being too bossy, rather than taking that person on myself.

Bossiness, arrogance is something that INFj have trouble with because it just interferes with our natural personality. We're drawn to confidence, but there has to be a sense of humanity attatched to it. And yes, we define what that 'humanity' is and we do that very easily because of our uber strong . We don't tolerate people hurting each other's feelings very well, whether it's intentional or unintentional.

[pesto]

I know you are interested in people (celebrities, friends, etc) and things that relate to people, eg socionics, but science type subjects don't seem to be something that inspires you.

That's true for the most part. Science is much more INT than INF. I'm very good at science because of my built-in IN-ness, but it really doesn't motivate me. It's like a science course is an easy A for me, but I won't really feel enriched or 'better' after taking it.

I agree with everything you said but want to add a slight modification of this. I do get fascinated by science and I enjoy solving this kind of problems. I'm motivated by the desire to understand "how things work" and by the intellectual challenge. What I don't get is obsessed. When I have a feel for a certain area my interest declines, compared to the hard core nerds who will strive to get deeper into it. Unlike them I don't want to master it.

[dreamer]

I always sorta lose at games...etc. I try and I lose so sometimes I don't really try. Competitiveness makes me feel weird like so what, who cares, are you happy with yourself, that is the point, ARE YOU?

I'm only competitive with writing because that's my ultimate passion, only thing I really care about. But the funny thing is, you aren't suppose to be competitive with writing, it's suppose to be a one man thing. Haha.

[Polly]

How I feel about INFjs...

Good side:
They can be typically very bright and layered individuals. They are definately interesting to talk to and seem to care very much about the world. They have a sensitivity to others that is very rare.

They are good moral support especially if you have a death in your family or some other crises which involves dealing with a major emotional issue.

They give good hug.

Bad side:
When emotions take control and they start swaying to the dark side they can be high maintenance. When they lose their temper they don't care who they make uncomfortable or tense. They can make others around them feel like crap for not living up to a moral code that not even they can live up to (feels like hypocracy).

An argumentative INFj can be a complete a$$hole. In times when support and listening is more appropriate, they can get on a soapbox playing devil's advocate.

Re competition with an INFj. Well I'll take that as a compliment because when playing card games like crib with an INFj he can be pretty competitive. When he wins, he goes on an on (in a jovial way mind you) about how he rocks and I blow.

If he starts to lose he starts to go on about the randomness of the cards or how I have such flukey luck.

[UDP]

They give good hug.

I approve this statement, and I am an INTj.
That's qualification, I say.

[oyburger]

They give good hug.

I approve this statement, and I am an INTj.
That's qualification, I say.

Yes, very comforting.
Another INTj endorsement.