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Thread: Si dual-seeking in IEEs-ENFps

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    Default Si dual-seeking in IEEs-ENFps

    I have a question: I don't really feel like I have Si problems. Shouldn't an IEE have trouble w Si?

    Will someone please explain Si dual-seeking in IEE?

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    What i've noticed about myself that might be related to Si-DS is that I'm not great about being in tune with my body. I have a tendency to get very distracted by life and thoughts and things going on around me, and (1) i end up neglecting myself to an extent, until things have gotten out of hand enough for me to notice it (a little too late) and then try to recuperate and fix things. (2) I can be quite clumsy, trip, sometimes fall, bump into people/things, not too coordinated in my movements.

    Another thing that I think is related to Si-DS in myself is that if I feel out of sorts, I have trouble pinpointing why. I might have some hunger pangs, but it can turn out that i'm just in need of some sleep. I might feel fatigued, but it could end up that i just needed to go to the bathroom.

    I guess the major thing that distinguishes Si-DS from Si-POLR though is that Si-dual seekers try and figure out what's going on, and welcome help with it.

    I was chatting with Golden (EIE and thus Si-POLR) the other day, and we sort of uncovered a major difference between the two of us that could represent this distinction. For example, both of us have issues with tight muscles all over our bodies and being exhausted all the time. Me, I massage and yoga to help with that, to help me relax and ease my muscle tension, yoga to stretch my muscles and feel peaceful. Golden hates massage, she says it makes her feel even worse, and it doesn't help her relax at all, on the contrary it makes her have a feeling of dread. Golden does yoga for the spiritual effect where she can attempt reaching an altered state of consciousness and move dynamically, and transform into the animal the pose is named after; stretching and relaxation couldn't be further from her mind. In fact during shivasana (one of my favorite poses, where you just lay flat on your back and relax completely at the end of the session) Golden also feels that feeling of dread. Ashton (LIE and thus Si-POLR) confirmed this feeling as well.
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    I think the biggest place I demonstrate Si dual seeking is in my desire to relax and my ability to lessen anxiety and relax on my own. People with leading Si have this lovely pace to their lives and I just love to step back into that pace. When I get upset about something or nervous, my husband tells me to relax, take care of myself, lie down and rest, and he goes out and gets me my favorite soup from this restaurant near us for dinner. is LVE.
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    Copypaste from the other thread:

    Nope? The definition of the Suggestive function is it's just something you don't necessarily live because it's a complement to your Base function, which dictates your typical mental mode (pianosinger described Base Ne as having a constant awareness of potential and novelty that she feels compelled to follow around).

    IOW, living through your Base function means you're fairly oblivious to things associated with your Suggestive. (e.g. Si bases who don't think about changing anything about their routines or lives until several years after any sane, normal human being would have gotten frustrated; if at all, similarly, Ne bases who don't know how to just slow their tempo down and enjoy whatever it is they're doing.)

    I would imagine Ni egos would have more Si "problems" than Ne egos, just due to the competitive (and thus suppressed) relationship between super-ego and ego.

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    Some of it could depend on who raised you. If you had an Si-Ego parent, you'd be much more familiar with it than someone like me who was raised by two Gammas. I just didn't even really know what I was missing in my life until I married my husband and started hanging out with my in-laws.

    Now, I am quite addicted

    My husband, who is Si-Role, also grew up appreciating and "valuing" Si, thanks to his SLI dad.
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    Quote Originally Posted by pianosinger View Post
    Some of it could depend on who raised you. If you had an Si-Ego parent, you'd be much more familiar with it than someone like me who was raised by two Gammas. I just didn't even really know what I was missing in my life until I married my husband and started hanging out with my in-laws.

    Now, I am quite addicted

    My husband, who is Si-Role, also grew up appreciating and "valuing" Si, thanks to his SLI dad.
    Yeah - my parents are EIE and LIE, my husband is SLI, my inlaws are SEI and ESE. It was a pretty dramatic difference.
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    I could understand the confusion. Si isn't something we really think about that much.

    One ENFP I know makes it easy for me to see the lack of Si...He shows up hungry every time I see him. No matter what time of day it is, he's always forgotten to eat.
    He also doesn't notice that he starts to feel terrible from eating junk food and soda, until he sees me drinking Green Tea, gets one himself, and then raves how much better he feels.

    As for me, I used to sit in very uncomfortable ways for hours (with my leg up on a table or sitting on on leg, etc), until it would go numb and turn red. It would have to actually be painful before I'd notice though, and by then it wouldn't go away for maybe 20 minutes.

    I also didn't have furniture or a TV for years after moving to NYC. I had one desk and a bed in my apmt, and that was it. My neck would get super cramped from trying to watch my laptop like a TV.

    When I met my ISTp, he complained a lot that my bed wasn't comfortable, and that I didn't have a couch. It was like pulling teeth to get him to come over. He actually bought me a more comfortable blanket. He arranged our current apmt in a very feng shui way.

    That said..

    I grew up in a Si-valuing house, and I have gotten to be pretty good about noticing some Si things -- I'm very sensitive to when I'm hungry or tired.

    And I don't usually wear uncomfortable clothing. I can also tell when other people are hungry (I can see it in their eyes, it's weird).

    My ISTP actually doesn't notice he's hungry until it's too late (and he's waaay grumpy) not so good for being base Si, huh?? I've started to feed him the minute he looks hungry to avoid the grumpy-ness. He lives to be in his comfy bed or couch though, and I don't really care as much.
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    Unhealthy IEEs and ILEs are druggies.
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    (I've actually always thought you were SLI despite your type-wanderings, but whatever.)

    Oh, okay, I guess this means I should describe Si-seeking. For me, that means I'm perpetually tense. Yoga helps me somewhat, but I always have a restless streak that won't quit. I don't notice when physical things are having a severe impact on my quality of life. It took me years to figure that out, and part of that was through dating an SLI. I know several other IEEs who are functioning poorly because they don't understand the impact of their lifestyle on their energy, performance, stress, etc etc etc.

    So when I run into an Si-ego, I love the fact that they're calm, and they immediately take care of things I wouldn't even think to consider as important until they do it. I've learned to do many things myself, but I still like having them around.
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    UGH, jewels, don't even mention not eating. ARGH. I haven't substantially eaten in...4 days? I'm miserable but I can't function because I'm not in a place to function. But hopefully in the next couple of days it will go away because I'm starving. I just want real food but I bring myself to actually make it.
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    i'm not IEE, but this thread reminded me of something. i've gone in to work the last couple of days with a head cold, which i feel kind of conflicted about because i don't want to spread germs, but on the other hand it feels irresponsible to stay home from work when i'm still perfectly functional. so last night i was kind of bouncing it around out loud, like, "well, i feel kinda crappy, but i'm still perfectly able to work, and i don't know if i should call in," etc., and my SLI bf said, without any deliberation, that since i have plenty of pto days and it would be good for me to get some rest, it would be better for me to just stay home. and it was really easy for me to just take that input and accept it.

    not sure if this is a great example, cos, well, its nice to have outside validation that you have a good enough excuse to stay home and maybe that's not type-related, lol, but fwiw. maybe the difference with Si-HA is that i was already sort of inclined to think i should stay home and i wanted the outside support, whereas maybe it would be different for Si DS?

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    Quote Originally Posted by tiny_dancer View Post
    UGH, jewels, don't even mention not eating. ARGH. I haven't substantially eaten in...4 days? I'm miserable but I can't function because I'm not in a place to function. But hopefully in the next couple of days it will go away because I'm starving. I just want real food but I bring myself to actually make it.
    this is distressing, what do you mean by substantial? make a sandwich or something ahh.

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    Quote Originally Posted by EyeSeeCold View Post
    Unhealthy IEEs and ILEs are druggies.
    Unfortunately yes. It is a very terrible sight to behold especially when you can't help.

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    Yeah, tbh I don't identify w these descriptions. At all.

    I pretty much know what I need to do for my body, and I do it. I'm not one to go around hungry, and I absolutely know when and how to head that off.

    An example: when I was twenty I worked at a sporting goods store, and I had to be there at 6am to work on Black Friday... I overslept and ended up waking up much later than I had planned to, but I still managed to get there only about five minutes late, fully dressed w makeup on and all... and when I mentioned (complained) how I had had to rush through breakfast, my supervisor looked at me with his eyebrows all raised, apparently thinking it was odd that I had taken the time to eat when I was running behind schedule. But that's how I am: whatever else happens, if at all possible I will be fed. lol



    Quote Originally Posted by tiny_dancer View Post
    (I've actually always thought you were SLI despite your type-wanderings, but whatever.)
    Really? You're probably the person here who's seen me being most "myself," since we've met a few times irl. SLI is still your vote, eh? Hmmmmm. I will have to think more about this....

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    Do you know what your enneagram stacking is? I know a self-pres 7 ILE, and she's very good at listening to her body. Her problems are because she heaps life up too high on her plate, and doesn't necessarily cool her jets and smell the roses (Si suggestive).

    Don't forget, the base function is as much about lifestyle as anything. Ne dominance (and EP temperament) is associated with overloading yourself with your activities and pursuits, spreading yourself thin, and having too relentless a pace of life (at least from my leisurely IP perspective). EP temperament implies valuing IP valuing, so EPs will value the natural IP energy-conservatism. And you don't see yourself in this? My logic may need some honing.

    Put it another way, as an ISp, I enjoy the novelty, energy and vitality ENps bring to my existence. Similarly I've been told by various ENps (and people of other types, to be fair) that I have a calming or balancing effect on them, just by virtue of my weird air conditioner aura of being chill and at ease and stuff, or whatever

    ISps lose balance by being too stagnant, ENps lose balance by spreading themselves thin; both balance each other out. Which side do you find yourself on?

    Likewise for me, just because I have a good capacity for insightful observations and "getting" and communicating things, does not imply I have strong Ne.

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    I forget to eat sometimes too. And I'll get headachey and my husband will ask, "What have you had to eat today?" And I'll think and think and he'll say, "Go get something to eat."
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    this is distressing, what do you mean by substantial? make a sandwich or something ahh.
    It's because I'm upset about something. When that happens I'm hungry but can't eat, and I'm too tired to cook anyway. I got my favorite sandwich in the entire world for lunch yesterday to force myself to eat. I ate about 1/3 of it and wanted to throw up the entire time. It tasted like cardboard (with pepperoncini). These are definitely the times I wish I were SLI because they're so good at letting things roll off.

    Really? You're probably the person here who's seen me being most "myself," since we've met a few times irl. SLI is still your vote, eh? Hmmmmm. I will have to think more about this....
    Jah. This forum has weird ideas about what SLIs are "supposed" to be. I think a lot of their impressions are stretched out of all reality and way too influenced by some random SLI they didn't like at one point. Some have a very serious persona, yes, but there are others who are energetic and inquisitive, some gentle and sweet and silly, some very intellectual and philosophical. Some are very blunt or hilariously irreverent, others are extremely diplomatic. I guess "calm" and "down-to-earth" would apply to all of them, but as for other descriptors, there's a lot of variation.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mariella View Post
    I forget to eat sometimes too. And I'll get headachey and my husband will ask, "What have you had to eat today?" And I'll think and think and he'll say, "Go get something to eat."
    This sounds like me and my husband, except I'm the one telling him to eat something (or drink some water, or whatever).

    I have other Si issues. But, forgetting to eat is not one of them (I love food lol).
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    Quote Originally Posted by pianosinger View Post
    I have other Si issues. But, forgetting to eat is not one of them (I love food lol).
    Same here . I can forget hydration though, in fact I do often. Speaking of which I should go get some water--I've barely had any today.
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    Quote Originally Posted by The Egbert Human View Post
    ISps lose balance by being too stagnant, ENps lose balance by spreading themselves thin; both balance each other out. Which side do you find yourself on?
    you can say THAT again.

    btw the rest of your post was very insightful. I relate. When i am having a very leisurely life, "recuperating" from a hectic one, I do get more in tune with my Si-needs. Unfortunately for my body, it doesn't last long though because i get antsy, wanting to get involved in new things, and one thing piles up on top of another and before i know it i'm burnt out again.
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    Quote Originally Posted by WorkaholicsAnon View Post
    Same here . I can forget hydration though, in fact I do often. Speaking of which I should go get some water--I've barely had any today.
    Yeah, me too. I tend to drink 3-4 large glasses of water shortly before bedtime trying to make up for not drinking enough during the day; and then I have to get up 2-3 times in the middle of the night to use the bathroom.
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    Here's example of how I think Si DS manifests in me:

    1. I'll be slightly agitated for some reason
    SEI: Are you thirsty?
    Me: Yes... I am
    SEI: Have some water.
    I'll have some water and feel better.

    2.
    SEI: Have you eaten?
    Me: Yes, I think so.
    SEI: What
    Me: some chocolate and sandwich.
    SEI: When?
    Me: A few hours ago maybe... lunch. (sometimes the answer is yesterday)
    SEI: You'll be hungry again soon, when do you want to eat?
    Me: I don't know...now?

    3.
    SEI: Sit down here it's comfy
    Me: Ok.. oh yes it is.

    4.
    SEI: Are you stressed, you look stressed?
    Me: er.. maybe?
    SEI: - does some sort of eyebrow massage.

    I think this is at the simplest level and there's a lot more to it going on- I'm just a bit rubbish at that sort of thing - as per previous posters this may be due to being bought up by an LII. - I really, really appreciate people who can detect what I need physically to feel comfortable and relaxed.
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    Quote Originally Posted by pianosinger View Post
    Yeah, me too. I tend to drink 3-4 large glasses of water shortly before bedtime trying to make up for not drinking enough during the day; and then I have to get up 2-3 times in the middle of the night to use the bathroom.
    SAME HERE! I noticed the getting up in the middle of the night wearing me thin too because of lack of a good nights sleep, so when i really focus on it, i try to make it a point to hydrate well during the day to avoid that. Also training for half-marathons is hard when you're dehydrated--i've felt woozy on occasion, especially back when i used to drink a lot of coffee. Had to give up coffee because of it.

    When I get busy that all goes down the drain. And then i regret it.
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    Quote Originally Posted by somavision View Post
    Here's example of how I think Si DS manifests in me:

    2.
    SEI: Have you eaten?
    Me: Yes, I think so.
    SEI: What
    Me: some chocolate and sandwich.
    SEI: When?
    Me: A few hours ago maybe... lunch. (sometimes the answer is yesterday)
    SEI: You'll be hungry again soon, when do you want to eat?
    Me: I don't know...now?
    Yeah this sort of thing happened to me a few times as well when i worked with the SLI guy i used to know. He would always make sure food was taken care of at the appropriate times unlike some other people i've worked with some of whom thought eating was a sign that you're not working hard enough. And he would always make sure i was involved in the food plans...unlike some other people i've worked with. I wont lie--it was one of the things that attracted me to him.

    Quote Originally Posted by somavision
    I think this is at the simplest level and there's a lot more to it going on- I'm just a bit rubbish at that sort of thing - as per previous posters this may be due to being bought up by an LII. - I really, really appreciate people who can detect what I need physically to feel comfortable and relaxed.
    I agree. and ditto.
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    I think Si dual seeking has something to do with "needing someone to be flexible" but also needing someone who can be consistent in a 'calm' sense.

    IEEs also need someone grounded in 'reality' and 'logic' and "S stuff" because they can so over focus on possibilities and various interpretation of things...

    It's ironic in that some IEEs are very into "healthy things", but they have trouble with daily applications of whatever discoveries they find. When i first met one IEE who was a health nut but with a lot of different problems, it was a sense of "waiiiiiit a second, don't you see how all of these things are interconnected?" - they could sense it but... uh... I don't think they realized the implications as much as I did.
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    I think both the delta NFs look for someone who has "a well oiled" machine in the sense of how they go about their lives. A combination of that plus being open for adventure and newness; perhaps being able to integrate NEW things and adventures into a comfortable lifestyle. Someone who can consistently move forward towards certain goals without being emotionally problematic or causing 'overload' or tweaking hypersensitivity.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ryu View Post
    I think both the delta NFs look for someone who has "a well oiled" machine in the sense of how they go about their lives. A combination of that plus being open for adventure and newness; perhaps being able to integrate NEW things and adventures into a comfortable lifestyle. Someone who can consistently move forward towards certain goals without being emotionally problematic or causing 'overload' or tweaking hypersensitivity.
    yes this sounds good to me!
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ryu View Post
    I think both the delta NFs look for someone who has "a well oiled" machine in the sense of how they go about their lives. A combination of that plus being open for adventure and newness; perhaps being able to integrate NEW things and adventures into a comfortable lifestyle. Someone who can consistently move forward towards certain goals without being emotionally problematic or causing 'overload' or tweaking hypersensitivity.
    this pretty much hits the nail on the head Ryu.
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    Default IEEs - Describe Si suggestive, and how do you take care of your Si needs?

    If you don't have someone helping you in your suggestive function, how do you find contentment with regard to introverted sensing?
    You seek a great fortune, you three who are now in chains. You will find a fortune, though it will not be the one you seek.
    But first you must travel a long and difficult road, a road fraught with peril.
    You shall see things, wonderful to tell. You shall see a... cow... on the roof of a cotton house. And, oh, so many startlements.
    I cannot tell you how long this road shall be, but fear not the ob-stacles in your path, for fate has vouchsafed your reward.
    Though the road may wind, yea, your hearts grow weary, still shall ye follow them, even unto your salvation
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    I can take care of most of it myself, although body signals like hunger and thirst can be pretty grating when I have to be outside of the house for an extended period of time. There are also times where I feel anxious/out-of-sorts and just wish I didn't have a body, although that sounds dramatic.

    Otherwise, hygiene, getting dressed, cleaning up after myself, responding to/being aware of body signals - none of that seems particularly difficult.
    Last edited by suedehead; 05-03-2014 at 09:27 PM.

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    It's not bad to have others install or repair pipes if they break, cook, and do all other kinds of household work for you. Maybe even take care of some paperwork, keep track of your invoices, write everything down in blotters. Oh ooops, I don't mind that at all, either, just that I'm not turned on by someone who does all that.

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    Breaking stereotypes Suz's Avatar
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    I may have mentioned this in a different thread in the past, but I think my addiction to massage may be a manifestation of Si-dual seeking. Also i struggle with practicality and tend to do things in a more complicated way than they need to be done -- that may be a combo of an Si + Te deficiency. Unlike Suedehead, I do struggle with taking care of myself. I live by myself, and am extremely independent and also dont want to burden my friends with asked favors, unless I have no other choice. So I do everything for myself, but that means a lot doesn't get done right away. I have learned over time to split up tasks, and do a small portion of the tasks from day to day. Otherwise it all gets too overwhelming. I would totally fall in love with someone who helped me out, absolutely. Or at least someone who showed me a quick and simple way to do stuff.

    Also what ends up happening is that i'm so busy trying to provide all this stuff for myself that I'm not really getting a chance to just relax and enjoy fun stuff. I take that back, often i just drop everything and do some fun relaxing stuff. But that may mean a lot of other things dont get done. I find that I have a harder time with implementing my dominant and creative functions when I am sleep-deprived, overwhelmed with these to-do lists, and am facing 1000 deadlines.
    Enneagram: 9w1 6w5 2w3 so/sx

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