Could I be sp/sx?

[Creepy-male]

I am seriously considering this over sx/sp. I think excuse sx-dominance as "sexual Nines are dreamy" might be more adequately put as "sp/sxs are dreamy". I think most people would characterise me as being "open but not all there", fwiw... which seems to contradict sp/sx. But idk. sx/sp seems wrong, and I highly doubt any non-so-last stacking could be made sense of, but you're welcome to try.

(And no, forget stickam, I have ESEs constantly lecturing me on being too antisocial and withdrawn, and people tend to comment that I seem very obviously disconnected from what's happening around me, so let's just forget the social persona for a fucking second okay? Okay. MOVING ON. Stickam and internet forum Gul is not indicative of my normal social operating procedure.)

EDIT

As for distribution of focus... now that I have the freedom to do w/e, most of my life is a continuation of what I did when I didn't have that freedom... doing nothing. I think about my hobbies a lot, and they're usually my hobbies because they have something to think about (videogames are excellent at that, I don't think there's a single game I play that doesn't have some reasonable or higher level of mental engagement from me), and more than thinking about them, I spend time doing them. All my time, in fact. I don't have any schedule, but I guess I have a really stable rhythm: get up, get ready for appointments if applicable, then focus on my hobbies. To be productive I've actually found ways of incorporating my studies into hobbies that are semi-practical (like framing my physics course as a good way of learning the Haskell programming language).

40% of my socialising is a begrudging admission to its necessity for my health. I force myself to be around people when they're available because "it's good for me" (or because I get bored, but boredom leads me to actual genuine pursuit of socialising, I typically need to force myself to be with real life people). 30~40% is "Yeah people are okay to hang around with and I lose nothing". 30% is "Fuck it, I'm bored, let's have my friends distract me". 0~10% is "Hey, I should really catch up with that person, they're going through some harsh shit right now..."

I identify a lot with the sexual compass. It's like I have a needle inside that points at things. I have a strong internal sense of attraction. I'm not sure in reality how much I follow that or how consistent it is compared to genuine sx/sps.

But lately I feel as if I need to keep that needle in check and stop and think through if chasing it is a good idea. I've shot down the idea of chasing a bunch of girls I'm naturally attracted to and tried (but been unmotivated to continue) to chase girls I think are a practically good decision. That could be low confidence.

I'm not sure if that's natural or just the fallout from my failboat relationship with an sp/sx. I really feel quite comfortable thinking of the world in those terms. I can't shake the voice that says "That would be a bad idea..."

I've always been a cautious person. Even when I'm spontaneous it's a calculated risk with no obvious drawbacks. I've only ever dived headfirst into something once... and boy did I learn my lesson with that. Never again.

That said eventually I stop thinking and start acting when there's no more clarity to be gained from thinking, but I think that's gut type related.