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Thread: Could I be sp/sx?

  1. #1
    Creepy-male

    Default Could I be sp/sx?

    I am seriously considering this over sx/sp. I think excuse sx-dominance as "sexual Nines are dreamy" might be more adequately put as "sp/sxs are dreamy". I think most people would characterise me as being "open but not all there", fwiw... which seems to contradict sp/sx. But idk. sx/sp seems wrong, and I highly doubt any non-so-last stacking could be made sense of, but you're welcome to try.

    (And no, forget stickam, I have ESEs constantly lecturing me on being too antisocial and withdrawn, and people tend to comment that I seem very obviously disconnected from what's happening around me, so let's just forget the social persona for a fucking second okay? Okay. MOVING ON. Stickam and internet forum Gul is not indicative of my normal social operating procedure.)

    EDIT

    As for distribution of focus... now that I have the freedom to do w/e, most of my life is a continuation of what I did when I didn't have that freedom... doing nothing. I think about my hobbies a lot, and they're usually my hobbies because they have something to think about (videogames are excellent at that, I don't think there's a single game I play that doesn't have some reasonable or higher level of mental engagement from me), and more than thinking about them, I spend time doing them. All my time, in fact. I don't have any schedule, but I guess I have a really stable rhythm: get up, get ready for appointments if applicable, then focus on my hobbies. To be productive I've actually found ways of incorporating my studies into hobbies that are semi-practical (like framing my physics course as a good way of learning the Haskell programming language).

    40% of my socialising is a begrudging admission to its necessity for my health. I force myself to be around people when they're available because "it's good for me" (or because I get bored, but boredom leads me to actual genuine pursuit of socialising, I typically need to force myself to be with real life people). 30~40% is "Yeah people are okay to hang around with and I lose nothing". 30% is "Fuck it, I'm bored, let's have my friends distract me". 0~10% is "Hey, I should really catch up with that person, they're going through some harsh shit right now..."

    I identify a lot with the sexual compass. It's like I have a needle inside that points at things. I have a strong internal sense of attraction. I'm not sure in reality how much I follow that or how consistent it is compared to genuine sx/sps.

    But lately I feel as if I need to keep that needle in check and stop and think through if chasing it is a good idea. I've shot down the idea of chasing a bunch of girls I'm naturally attracted to and tried (but been unmotivated to continue) to chase girls I think are a practically good decision. That could be low confidence.

    I'm not sure if that's natural or just the fallout from my failboat relationship with an sp/sx. I really feel quite comfortable thinking of the world in those terms. I can't shake the voice that says "That would be a bad idea..."

    I've always been a cautious person. Even when I'm spontaneous it's a calculated risk with no obvious drawbacks. I've only ever dived headfirst into something once... and boy did I learn my lesson with that. Never again.

    That said eventually I stop thinking and start acting when there's no more clarity to be gained from thinking, but I think that's gut type related.
    Last edited by male; 02-21-2011 at 03:07 PM.

  2. #2
    lump's Avatar
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    i'm always wanting to hear different perspectives on how the instincts manifest for nines so i'm hoping for responses to this!

    for me, and this is probably way too obvious to be of much help to you-- i question if i might be sx/sp from time to time and what makes me stick with sp/sx is thinking about if i absolutely had to choose one at the exclusion of the other. this is framing it in terms of autonomy and space versus union and intensity. of course, this assumes that i'm framing it correctly because there are different ideas about what the instincts entail, but that's a pretty widespread one, idk.

    the one thing that does confuse me is like when you're talking about distribution of focus -- i do tend to be obsessively interested in one thing at a time, and idk if this should be associated w/ sx. but in my case i think it's just as much about escapism and self-indulgence (like in the case of socionics, it can be a way to greedily introspect) so i think it has at least as much to do with sp, in my case. but that can be confusing.

    anyway...bump!

  3. #3
    lump's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ashton View Post
    tl;dr
    so, ashton, do you have any opinions on how the instincts manifest for type nine? do you think gul could be sp/sx?

  4. #4
    Creepy-male

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    Walls of text copied over from PersonalityNation:

    Quote Originally Posted by GEMS View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Savage Idealist View Post
    Unfortunately I have not read enough of your posts to sufficiently type you. But, I see no one else has answered so I will try anyway.

    First I ask, so you tend to care more about your needs first, or that of those you know?

    What about you leads you to beleive sx over sp or vice versa?
    It really depends on how well I know them. I tend to look after people I'm genuinely close to... but not to the point of self-sacrifice (in as much as is possible for a Nine, I've been hurt in my one legitimate romantic relationship because I kept losing myself to the demands both real and imagined of the other party). Emotionally I try to be there for people, even randoms, (when they come to me, and that's one of the main way I make actual friends) but I guess I've been getting cagier and more cautious lately, enough so that I don't think I'm a very good friend at all as of late (though that's probably the perfectionism speaking).

    I find overly mergy or intense people really unsettling, so that's when I put me first and try and quietly slink away from contact with them (which is probably really confusing considering I always put up a friendly front all the while, lol), or just disengage from the relationship as much as possible if they're really persistent. In one person's case I'm glad he was so persistent because he's now a really good friend and one of the few people I genuinely trust.

    The instant people make demands of me or place expectations on me I go into full alert selfish bastard mode, though. I get along best with people who don't do either of those things.

    As for sx or sp...

    I can see myself equally in descriptions for both sp and sx Nines, but people typically tend to type me sx-first (usually sx/so or so/sx, actually).

    I could be sx because:
    • I'm dreamy and magical
    • I have an internal compass for things and people that seem interesting
    • Incredibly embarrassing as it is to say, I guess I'm very sensual.


    I could not be sx because I don't really chase intensity, only in my imagination/inner world.

    I could be sp because:
    • I'm practical
    • I try to embody being the voice of reason and sensibility
    • I'm dreamy and magical (lol)
    • I'm very focused on comfort and sensory stuff
    • Losing my comfort (emotional, psychological, or physical) is the worst thing in the world for me and I go to great ends to keep it and make sure it stays with me.
    • I live very much in my body, even if my brain is miswired and can't always understand the signals
    • I have a lot of self-control, which I pride myself on. Discipline, not so much.
    • I live pretty much entirely in my own world, both in terms of having a pretty strictly personalised attitude to everything, and in terms of having an inner world/life (even if it has no elements of fantasy or anything, which is what I used to think "inner world" referred to, lol)


    I could not be sp because I'm not exceptionally frugal with money, even despite my attitudes towards spending. But then again, neither is my mother, and she's a textbook sp 6 (probably why we get along so well, lol). I can always connect with her over stuff like food, drink and comfort (she's my quasi-identical in Socionics, and an ISFJ in JCF, which may also help), and we have similar problems with losing money to indulging in things, heh.
    Quote Originally Posted by GEMS View Post
    Anyway, from the enneablag collections:

    Sexual Nines

    Sexual Nines seek a sense of well-being by finding something or someone to merge with. They want to be at one with the world, with beauty, with nature, but especially with a special, ideal lover. That being said, Sexual Nines have many anxieties about losing themselves by submerging their identity in the other. Thus, they can sometimes appear ambivalent and emotionally conflicted, like Fours or Sixes. They sometimes attempt to "solve" the inner conflict between their desire for merging and their desire for independence by "triangulation." They engage in two separate, simultaneous relationships that serve different needs while never completely showing up in either. Needless to say, this can create the kinds of conflicts that Nines are trying to avoid.

    The overall affect of Sexual Nines is one of gentleness, ease, and flow, and they seek these qualities in others and in the environment. They also tend to be highly sensual, enjoying tastes, textures, and sensations. Although they resemble Fours in this regard, being ethereal and dreamy, their sensuality is earthy and embodied, and they are not as self-aware or self-doubting as Fours. Sexual Nines tend to be more imaginative than the other Variants—often with elements of gentle whimsy and heroic fantasy. They see the world in magical terms, investing even ordinary objects with a warm glow. They seem to take in the world with a wide-eyed wonder and have a characteristic child-like aura about them.

    Focused on an ideal of romantic union. Get lost in one relationship or in the yearning to have one. High expectations of partner. Sometimes sound melancholy like a Four. Prone to jealousy. May settle on someone and then grow critical and have a wandering eye. Can also deny their partner's flaws and idealize them to stay in union. Another scenario involves multiple relationships, searching from one person to the next. Sometimes the Nine can't decide between two people. Triangulation. Paradoxically, this subtype can be fickle because they are so easily disappointed.
    Some thoughts on this:

    If I want to merge with someone (which I don't so much now, but that could be the anti-rebound talking), it's more as another way of feeding my imagination and pandering to my nostalgia over how good all the dreamlike parts of being in love are. That said, I definitely do habitually (and willfully, heh), let myself get lost in nature, beauty, and magical sensations. Every now and then when I need a break I'll go out at night with iPod with special songs that colour everything really wonderfully, like I'm walking through a lucid dream or something. Or I revisit imaginary scenes and try and refine them and flesh them out, maybe write poems about them. My mind's eye is a really talented landscape artist A lot of what I do is developing the emotional colour of my inner world.

    A lot of my life up until now has been feeling keenly a lack of a significant other, and more importantly, the lack of romance that leads to. In my last relationship (due to some unfortunate, secret, and highly unspecified realities that do not plague normal relationships), I'd get really really jealous because I didn't want to "lose" her after being so close to "securing" her (which I never achieved; eventually I guess I just helped move things along to us both parting ways, because I just didn't have the superhuman strength required to walk off on my own). That said, and I guess this is a major point for sp/sx, the hardest thing with that relationship for me was how unstable and uncertain it was. That had me completely overwraught and screwed up. I need safe people.

    OTOH, large chunks of the self-pres descriptions read like someone was stalking me and taking notes, heh.

    Self-Preservation Nines are perhaps the most easygoing Nines, but they are also the most likely to need time alone, untroubled by other people's influence and requirements. They seek a sense of well-being through comfort: familiar routines, "comfort foods," and a supportive, uncomplicated environment are all highly valued. Self-Pres Nines have their own way of doing things, their own pace, and their own philosophy of life, and they will stubbornly resist any effort to change any of these things. Self-Pres Nines are also people of few words, preferring to communicate in nonverbal ways. They often pretend to be less savvy and aware than they actually are, as if tempting other people to underestimate them—so that they will be left alone. Positively, they are grounded and patient, possessing a great deal of common sense. They tend to have problems with overindulging themselves in food and drink, or conversely with rigorously controlling their diets—this is especially true of Self-Pres Nines with the One wing. They may also lack physical exercise. In any case, having their routine and lifestyle change is very challenging for them.

    Preoccupied with physical comfort, maintaining habits and satisfying appetites. The image of the lazy couch potato goes with this subtype. Strategy for getting along is to ask as little of life as possible. Can have a love of the minimal and enjoy the repetition of known routines. Distract themselves with pleasant domestic activities. Live conservatively. Consume food and drink for anaesthesia. May have large appetites, drug addictions, be physically slow moving.
    Jegus Gog yes. This is actually seriously beautiful. I'm really, really controlling of who my friends are because I don't want a threatening or uncomfortable social environment, or people who pressure me or place expectations or demands on me. Only I make demands of me, that is my sole privilege!!!!!! I also have a hard time breaking away from my mind-numbing routines to focus on stuff, because it feels like I'm sticking myself out in uncertain waters where I might have to focus on things I don't want to. I'm very resistant to "waking up" because it's scary and seems like it'll invite a lot of emotional or psychological pain (or disequilibrium, I guess, in Ninespeak); ruin my nice cozy state of settleditude. I also have a pretty personalised (not personal, I'm still a Te user, I still have other people use my brain for me for the first few steps or twenty ) I can also be really instinctively stubborn when people try to change me... even though I can often put myself out there and ask "What do I need to do better?" I butted heads with my dad a lot over this because we both always thought we knew the best way of doing something

    I always keep a cool head and an even pace in a crisis. Moment-to-moment stress is not a thing that I do, even if I'm really vulnerable to having big picture self-pres concerns like money gnawing away at me all the time (fear is nothing, you can always fight or flee from what you're afraid of; anxiety offers none of that, and is like being slowly eroded till you're vulnerable and can't defend yourself against a thing).

    Where it says "Strategy for getting along is to ask as little of life as possible" is pretty funny, too. I think of myself as having a mutual non-aggression pact with life and other people. I ask only as much of you as I need to get along, and you do the same in turn. I get really, really snappy and cranky with people when they violate that.
    .

  5. #5
    when you see the booty Galen's Avatar
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    Nah, you're sx/so.
    "And above all, watch with glittering eyes the whole world around you because the greatest secrets are always hidden in the most unlikely places. Those who don't believe in magic will never find it." -Roald Dahl

    http://forum.socionix.com/
    It's pretty cool

  6. #6
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    Quote Originally Posted by Galen View Post
    Nah, you're sx/so.
    Lol. Do I really strike you as someone who projects his energy everywhere and goes out of his way to connect with people?

  7. #7
    when you see the booty Galen's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by The Egbert Human View Post
    Lol. Do I really strike you as someone who projects his energy everywhere and goes out of his way to connect with people?
    Yeah kinda, lol. I wouldn't say you go out of your way to connect with people though, but that sounds like a more unhealthy sx description. Like someone who kinda jumps on any opportunity they can find, that isn't something that's inherently implied in being sx/so.
    "And above all, watch with glittering eyes the whole world around you because the greatest secrets are always hidden in the most unlikely places. Those who don't believe in magic will never find it." -Roald Dahl

    http://forum.socionix.com/
    It's pretty cool

  8. #8
    Creepy-male

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    Well, you can tone it down...

    Do I look like someone who easily puts himself out there and is driven to connect with people at all? It still doesn't work. I mean, in the rare occasions I go out and do something social with a group I usually just peel away and focus on the scenery or my own thoughts or w/e, unless it's people I know and can hold a conversation with. I went to a friend's birthday party and wound up sneaking out to her patio to enjoy the stars and the breeze, heh. (It was a really beautiful night. I slept out under the stars too.)

  9. #9
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    Well I donīt know you very well Brian but because of your so mental focus in life and your seemingly active life you might not be an E9. The fact that you wrote 'YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOU THINK THAT YOU ARE' shows something of an 8 or a 6. But anyway, I donīt think you're sx/sp. Not at all. You'd have a serious need of a lover and that would be the center of your pursuits in life - finding a lover, if youīre really E9. I think sp/sx is a better bet.

  10. #10
    Creepy-male

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    Quote Originally Posted by None View Post
    your seemingly active life
    Interesting What seems so active about my life?

    Quote Originally Posted by None View Post
    'YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOU THINK THAT YOU ARE'


    EDIT

    My image isn't showing up :/ Basically, the quote is from a Superman comic where he stops a teenager from killing herself by telling her she's stronger than she thinks she is and giving her a SUPER HUG.
    Last edited by male; 02-23-2011 at 10:25 AM.

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    Quote Originally Posted by The Egbert Human View Post
    Interesting What seems so active about my life?





    EDIT

    My image isn't showing up :/ Basically, the quote is from a Superman comic where he stops a teenager from killing herself by telling her she's stronger than she thinks she is and giving her a SUPER HUG.
    LoL on the superman stuff. Itīs interesting.

    Anyway, you asked abt your 'seemingly active life'... well, you do your physics course and have time and especially patience and disposition to write on this forum on a regular basis. It seems that you are quite active, not physically, but more on a mental level. Most E9s I know including my brother who's ISFP like yourself, they're as lazy as possible given their situation. Not only physically lazy but also mentally lazy, like they donīt give a damn about the studying and study a minimum only to get a degree. And same for whatever takes them out of their TV/PC/Videogame/Girlfriend/Music comfortable but inactive on all levels life. I was discussing lately with a friend about Si-leadings being more prone to depression, melancholy, and inertia even if theyīre not E9. Dude, Iīm so lazy I canīt even write on this forum for more than some minutes that I get a feeling that everything is a damn waste of time and actually life sucks if Iīm not loving. My 'beloved' is not well and is isolated at her momīs home. She wonīt let me see her. I get mad and want to break stuff. Anyway this is not abt me. I think you're life is fairly decently active for an E9 ISFP.

  12. #12
    Creepy-male

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    Hahaha, study. I try every now and then, but, I typically fall back on being my usual lazy self. I'm also only studying part time, so I have a lot of free time and enjoy the mental exercise (and distraction!) writing on these boards can provide. But that's a good point, I suppose I do currently and have always spent a great deal of time thinking and reflecting, and I'm definitely active in the sense that I have a mental and imaginary life.

  13. #13
    Creepy-male

    Default self-pres Nines and dreadlocks.

    Type related?

  14. #14
    Le roi internet Bluenoir's Avatar
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    The mode of goodness conditions one to happiness, passion conditions him to the fruits of action, and ignorance to madness.

    Chapter 14, Verse 9.
    The Bhagavad Gita

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    when you see the booty Galen's Avatar
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    Hi Gulanzon.
    "And above all, watch with glittering eyes the whole world around you because the greatest secrets are always hidden in the most unlikely places. Those who don't believe in magic will never find it." -Roald Dahl

    http://forum.socionix.com/
    It's pretty cool

  16. #16
    Creepy-male

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    Hi Galen.

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    Yeah, it is. So if you're a type nine, you should have had dreadlocks at one point in your life, yo. Or have them now, dawg. Don't let the socionists get up in your grill and tell you otherwise, no no.

    ...yeah, I'm stalking you...yeah, you're gonna have to deal with it, mate...yeah.

  18. #18
    Creepy-male

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    MATE. CUNT. MATE. CUNT.

  19. #19
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    okay. You make a perfect argument. I can't compete with that. Till we meet again on the battle field, Mr Egg.

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