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Thread: How to motivate an INFJ

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    Default How to motivate an INFJ

    I have friend that has some problem about motivation, he said me i'm a zero or i suck, many time when we chat, so how i can help him?

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    fka lungs ashlesha's Avatar
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    i'm not sure what to say...i think i would interpret those statements as more of an indicator of low self-esteem or depression than as a need for motivation. how have you been responding so far?

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    Hot Message FDG's Avatar
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    Con i miei amici EII di solito cerco di insistere quanto più possibile per coinvolgerli in attività fisiche e/o sociali, evitando che si focalizzino sull'introspezione.
    Obsequium amicos, veritas odium parit

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    Breaking stereotypes Suz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by FDG View Post
    Con i miei amici EII di solito cerco di insistere quanto più possibile per coinvolgerli in attività fisiche e/o sociali, evitando che si focalizzino sull'introspezione.
    ENGLISH!! I WANNA KNOW WHAT YOU'RE SAYING TOO!!
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    fka lungs ashlesha's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by WorkaholicsAnon View Post
    ENGLISH!! I WANNA KNOW WHAT YOU'RE SAYING TOO!!
    lol, i would throw it into a translator if i wasn't on my phone. i'm curious, too.

    i was thinking about this and i'm making some assumptions about the situation because there isn't much context. but if they are EII and they are feeling purposeless and aren't doing what they want to do, i think they probably don't see themselves as needing some kind of motivational "push" per se (at least i don't think that way and i think its Se polr). if they have some kind of goal but aren't doing anything about it, i think the best thing to help them would be to assist in breaking their goal down into easily accomplishable tasks, helping them strategize what to do. if they don't have any goals, it might help to point out concrete and useable strengths that you see them possessing in order to help them generate ideas. i know that in my case, these are probably the best way to "motivate" me. but like i said before, if they regularly refer to themselves as a "zero" or whatever, maybe there's more than a simple lack of motivation going on?

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    Lobo's Avatar
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    No one is a zero.

    Quote Originally Posted by WorkaholicsAnon View Post
    ENGLISH!! I WANNA KNOW WHAT YOU'RE SAYING TOO!!
    Haha, maybe he's trying to say that you need to talk to them in Italian. Let's see if I can translate: With my only EII close friend I insist whenever possible to "coinvolgleri" in physical or social activities, avoiding that he focus on introspection.

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    what is the motivational problem?

    coinvolgleri =/= doncorleoni
    Pre-2013 post are written with incomplete understanding.

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    Darn Socks Director Abbie's Avatar
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    Give him a logical reason to accomplish something. Even total losers can be productive at menial labor.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Director Abbie View Post
    Give him a logical reason to accomplish something. Even total losers can be productive at menial labor.
    As a slight counterpoint to this advice, give him a logical reason as to why such hierarchies (e.g., those that include "menial" labor, net worth, and similar notions), which invoke feelings of degradation (like his feelings of worthlessness) and make grand assertions of value, are ultimately meaningless, unethical, and counterproductive.

    Though, that may not be enough.

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    Quote Originally Posted by laghlagh View Post
    i was thinking about this and i'm making some assumptions about the situation because there isn't much context. but if they are EII and they are feeling purposeless and aren't doing what they want to do, i think they probably don't see themselves as needing some kind of motivational "push" per se (at least i don't think that way and i think its Se polr). if they have some kind of goal but aren't doing anything about it, i think the best thing to help them would be to assist in breaking their goal down into easily accomplishable tasks, helping them strategize what to do. if they don't have any goals, it might help to point out concrete and useable strengths that you see them possessing in order to help them generate ideas. i know that in my case, these are probably the best way to "motivate" me. but like i said before, if they regularly refer to themselves as a "zero" or whatever, maybe there's more than a simple lack of motivation going on?
    I like this

    Of course it depends on what the actual cause of deactivation stems from though, but if if it's pertaining more to a general TeSi neediness than what LL posted is pretty much a good start.
    Generally EII's, and ethical types in general, suffer from a lack of being able to gauge the effectiveness and purpose of what they're doing, or need to do, to obtain, accomplish and maintain the more pragmatic needs and wants in their life.
    But Te isn't a magic wand either, that is if your friend is going to wallow in self-pity and go into a defensive attack mode he isn't going to get anywhere. If there's something you know he wants to do it might be easier to initiate this I suppose, simply by providing him with the confidence that he possesses the ability to do whatever that is, and as a Te type, he'll likely be more receptive to your evaluation of his capabilities
    EII INFj
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    Haikus Beautiful sky's Avatar
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    Make whatever you want him/her to do with you sound glamorous or very interesting but very relaxing and low key. If he or she senses that the activity may require much too much Se type of energy expenditure, he will not be interested in the activity. Lots of Si reassurance that the activity will be pleasant will help. Suggest that the activity will allow him to not exert a lot of undue energy and will allow them to learn something new.
    Last edited by Beautiful sky; 02-19-2011 at 06:35 AM.

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    So fluffeh. Cuddly McFluffles's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ZAMPA View Post
    I have friend that has some problem about motivation, he said me i'm a zero or i suck, many time when we chat, so how i can help him?
    I'm working on motivational issues myself. Mine stem from apathy, specifically from feeling that fighting was worthless because it never changed anything. I am learning to see past the current circumstances and realize that these things don't last forever. This helps me ask what I can do to change things and get to that other side. So basically, I have to identify the result I want and figure out how to make it happen.

    But yeah, sounds like a self-esteem problem. Maybe there are some issues this person needs to work through.
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    thanks you for the answers, i'll try to do

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