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Thread: IEEs-ENFps what were you like as children?

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    Default IEEs-ENFps what were you like as children?

    A while back, I asked my mom some questions about what I was like as a kid, particularly asa toddler/preschooler (since I can remember pretty well for myself how I was once I got older than that).

    Here's what she had to say:

    So, what were you like as a baby and toddler? I will try to reach into the far corners of my aging brain and see if I can remember. When your kids are little you think that you will always remember the different milestones in their lives and how they acted and all, but as they get older you find that you don't remember as much detail as you thought you would. That is one reason I've enjoyed working on transferring the family videos to DVD. I'm watching you kids grow up all over again. Ah, sweet memories. You also find that you remember the good things and tend to forget the frustrations and tiredness that went along with it all.

    You were kind of a high needs baby, though we didn't realize it at the time because we didn't have anything to compare you to. You cried a lot and as new parents we usually satisfied you by feeding you even though, looking back, some of the times that probably isn't what you needed. You spit a lot, but that resolved itself at around one year of age. You liked to be held and played with and didn't like to be neglected. You loved your baby swing however and would be nice and content in your baby swing while I made dinner or other things that stopped me from holding you. And you loved having other children around. I did some child care in our apartment when you were from 6 to 12 months and you loved it. When I say you cried a lot, I wouldn't really classify it as temper tantrums, just crying. And you grew out of that also.

    As a toddler you had a nice pleasant personality. You were pretty happy for the most part. You were a little mother to the boys, definitely a leader with your siblings. You were more shy though when it came to outside of the family. You liked to make up songs and sing and dance. I don't remember that you made up stories so much. I really don't remember when you started dressing yourself, sometime before kindergarten. You asked a lot of questions as a normal toddler, but not nearly as many as one of your brothers. When you turned 18 months old, you went into the nursery at church without a backward glance. You loved nursery and especially loved when they blew bubbles.

    I think that becoming a big sister at such a young age may have caused you to grow up faster than you would have otherwise. Probably because we didn't treat you as "the baby" for as long as the other kids. We would chuckle when you would talk about "me and the kids" as if you weren't a kid yourself. It made you feel grown up to do things that they were too young to do. As you grew up you liked playing with siblings and friends and you always were good about getting along with others, a peacemaker in the family.

    I don't remember that you needed a lot of structure to be happy. We kind of had our routine that we followed, but things weren't super structured. You enjoyed making messes just as much as the next kid. You kids especially enjoyed playing in the dirt and mud and then washing up in the tub. You made messes with your toys and we'd clean it all up at the end together. You played with other kids for long hours around here because you had your siblings and then I had day care kids a lot of the time also. You really didn't seem to tire of playing with other kids. You loved having them come over and play. But now I'm thinking about when you were a little older, not just a toddler.
    I know it's long. I thought of just putting this as a blog post, but I really am interested in knowing how other IEEs might relate, or if any of you know a little about what you were like as babies/toddlers. Would be interesting to compare...
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    From what I've heard, I was hyperactive, and had a lot of tantrums.

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    I was headstrong, apparently. That's the first thing my mom said when I asked her this question. She followed it up by saying that I was very creative and that I "refused to march to anyone's drum beat but [my] own."

    All of that still holds true, fwiw

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    My mom now says I was really good and cute when i was a kid though I remember being punished on many occasions, not for major stuff, just things like cleaning around the house, or "disobeying" or "disrespecting" her--she's always been very moody and things can just set her off for really no reason. Later when i started having a mind of my own, I started "talking back" more (i.e. standing up for myself), which my mom now calls "tantrums" or "hysterics" . Me, I think those have mostly been Fe/Ti-Fi/Te disconnects. Mostly we get along and are pretty close, we just cant live together in the same dwelling for more than a few days before fights start happening.

    From my memory, both my sister and I were really very good and obedient, because we dreaded being in trouble (and our mom was so unpredictable and strict though she denies that). My sister tended to take the heat more than I did (or at least be less able to fight back), and so I evolved into being the one to stand up for her when i thought things were unfair towards her. When I do that, there have been times when my mom's wrath gets displaced onto me. These days she does try to stand up for herself but it's never that effective. I think this might be a manifestation of Se-POLR.

    i feel like i've made my mom sound like a perpetually angry roaring person, but she really isnt. She's a cute cuddly teddy bear, but like I said she can be moody, one minute pleasant and loving, and the next minute completely seemingly unfair and mean (possibly because my sister or I made an Fe-transgression? ).

    Other traits of myself as a kid: really really REALLY loved school, for the learning and the social sphere. (whenever my mom would bring up the idea of homeschooling, i would SHUDDER at the thought). I was very shy with strangers (more so than my EII sister), but opened up more as I got to know them better (I guess thinking about it, i'm still like that ). Friendly with other kids, liked to make friends. However, always been against the idea of "peer pressure". If any signs of "peer pressure" occurred I would lose respect for them and not really consider them friends anymore.

    As for the growing up early thing-- my sister was sick a lot in early childhood, maybe up to about age 10-11. So I became sort of the "big sister" (even though we're twins, and i'm actually the 'younger' one of the two) helping out, taking care of her, making sure she's ok, keeping my mom updated, etc. It was easy for us to forget that she was the older one too, because i was always the slightly bigger twin, and more outgoing in general (except with strangers ), more "bossy" as my sister sometimes says when she's upset with me (which isn't often).
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    I recall myself being weirdly reclusive and individualistic. Like when all the other kids in my elementary school were off yelling and running around aimlessly, I would be focusing on reading something or doing puzzles, things to amuse myself while everyone else was being loud and stupid. I found that the games other kids were playing were largely stupid and unengaging because they dealt with lots of people at a time, and I sorta faded into the background in those situations. That's not to say I was a loner, because I know I had good friends who I would play with all the time.

    I also had a really short temper with things, lol. Like I would get so frustrated over things like video games to the extent that I would end up throwing the games out of frustration; they were pretty damn durable, thankfully (although I still miss Super Mario All Stars). Actually this part of me went up until, god, maybe 16 or so, when I realized that I can't afford to be so angry at competitive things. The weird thing, though, is that I never got angry when I felt like I didn't deserve to win and lost: when I was playing against somebody who I knew was a lot better than me. But when I kinda felt that I deserved to beat the other person out of what I considered to be superior skill, I'd throw a giant fit when I didn't win.

    Oh, I also had a loooot of stuffed animals. Not sure how out of the norm that is, but it came to mind just now.

    I was a very good student, although I never thought of myself as one. I would barely ever try with my homework and I would still get all Es (in 1st through 3rd grade, E meant Excellent). I was definitely very strong at math skills, and I was introduced to rudimentary algebra in the 3rd grade. I would even do my math homework for fun and have my parents grade it on me.

    I remember getting very emotionally overwhelmed by things easily. I wasn't a particularly studious kid (not to my knowledge anyways), so days when I had to spend a lot of time working on things would cause me to melt down in fear of not being able to do it all in time. What's more, my parents were prone to arguing with each other a lot, so listening to them yell was enough to have me shut down completely.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Galen View Post
    I recall myself being weirdly reclusive and individualistic. Like when all the other kids in my elementary school were off yelling and running around aimlessly, I would be focusing on reading something or doing puzzles, things to amuse myself while everyone else was being loud and stupid. I found that the games other kids were playing were largely stupid and unengaging because they dealt with lots of people at a time, and I sorta faded into the background in those situations. That's not to say I was a loner, because I know I had good friends who I would play with all the time.
    Yeah thanks for bringing that up, Galen. That reminds me of how my sister and I figured out in the 6th grade that we could spend lunch recess in the library instead of in the yard, so that's what we started doing all through the rest of grade school. Whether it was to read or catch up on homework. We got "bad" towards the end and started eating in the library too , caught a couple of times by the librarian with a tattle-tale crumb on our shirts or face. lol.

    I also had a really short temper with things, lol. Like I would get so frustrated over things like video games to the extent that I would end up throwing the games out of frustration; they were pretty damn durable, thankfully (although I still miss Super Mario All Stars). Actually this part of me went up until, god, maybe 16 or so, when I realized that I can't afford to be so angry at competitive things. The weird thing, though, is that I never got angry when I felt like I didn't deserve to win and lost: when I was playing against somebody who I knew was a lot better than me. But when I kinda felt that I deserved to beat the other person out of what I considered to be superior skill, I'd throw a giant fit when I didn't win.
    Neither my sister nor I relate to this at all. We were UBER patient. And we were never sore losers.


    Oh, I also had a loooot of stuffed animals. Not sure how out of the norm that is, but it came to mind just now.
    now THIS we definitely relate to!! We LOOOOVED stuffed animals as kids. We still like them. My bedroom has a bunch of cute ones, so does my living room. We actually preferred anthropomorphizing stuffed animals over playing with dolls, which we sort of felt was a more adult thing to do (i.e. adults taking care of babies). In a sort of Peterpan-ish way, as younger kids we didn't really like the idea of being "grown-ups". By the time i was in high school though, I couldn't wait to go to college and be free of my mom's smothering influence.

    I was a very good student, although I never thought of myself as one. I would barely ever try with my homework and I would still get all Es (in 1st through 3rd grade, E meant Excellent). I was definitely very strong at math skills, and I was introduced to rudimentary algebra in the 3rd grade. I would even do my math homework for fun and have my parents grade it on me.... I wasn't a particularly studious kid (not to my knowledge anyways), so days when I had to spend a lot of time working on things would cause me to melt down in fear of not being able to do it all in time.
    lol @ E=excellent! I'm glad you explained it because in my school E was FAIL. I hear you though--In elementary school all i did were my assignments and whenever the test would come i would sit down and do it. Most of the time I dont think I even was aware that a test was coming up. I didn't really even know what the concept of "studying" was until about the 6th grade when a classmate of mine was like "WHAT?? you dont study for tests? That's not going to work for too long..." Probably a year or two after that I quickly found out that she's absolutely right. Faith was that girl's name, and I still remember her wise words. And i'm still not that great at it.

    What's more, my parents were prone to arguing with each other a lot, so listening to them yell was enough to have me shut down completely.
    I'm really sorry you had to go through that, Galen.
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    I don't remember being all that impatient and angry as a kid, but I've definitely (and unfortunately) become moreso as I've grown older. Stress has a lot to do with it, I think. I really had a lot of freedom as a kid to be myself and do what I wanted; but I only had this freedom because I was responsible and had earned my parents' trust.

    As a youth, I fluctuated between being optimistic and patient and cheerful, and being sarcastic and cynical and weepy. But I was only really emotional in private; I didn't like to let on to anyone close to me that I was upset. Though, I did "run away from home" one Saturday when I was in high school... I ended up walking around town for maybe five hours before calling a friend to give me a ride home.

    Oh, I also had a loooot of stuffed animals. Not sure how out of the norm that is, but it came to mind just now.
    I didn't have many stuffed animals, but I did collect a lot of knick-knacks. I specifically collected frogs, owls, candles and lighthouses; each had a special significance.
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    Like many of you ENFPs, my parents always said I threw tantrums. And my INTJ dad would ignore me and walk into the next room and read the paper, and I'd follow him into the next room and continue.

    They asked our doctor about it, and the doctor said children who throw tantrums tend to be good at getting what they want as adults. haha That made them feel better about it I guess.

    I used to also have many "great new ideas" for my dad to try, which would annoy him. I'd tell him he should start a restaurant whenever he'd cook, and he'd say he didn't want to bother. I remember drawing him plans to make me a race car and a hot air balloon. I was QUITE disappointed when he explained the plans wouldn't work. I really had faith he could make it happen!! If I had had an ISTP dad, I bet he could have made it work!! lol

    I did get him to try to make me a scooter, but it didn't turn out so well. He did one day build me a little playhouse though, which was great.

    I also used to start projects (I'm going to paint my wall, etc.), and he'd get very angry if he had to finish them.

    He used to say I nagged him, and that he felt bad for my future husband. I used to ask him to paint the house, and I'd offer to help. He was stubborn and still hasn't painted the house in over 30 years!

    I was also very sensitive, and I would cry easily if anyone hurt my feelings. So I was said to be a cry baby for a while, though I really wasn't doing it for attention (I was mortified to lose control and start crying, and I'd feel embarassed...so I'd then cry more!)

    As a baby I decided to stay awake all night and sleep during the day, so my mom did that for a while also. I refused to keep a regular schedule.

    I was also a cuddly baby, and my mom (ISFP) said she used to actually pick me up when she had a bad day, since I was a perpetual hug-giver.

    In elementary school I was outgoing yet shy. I came across as confident, but I did have to warm up to people or new situations. I usually always had friends though, even when I was practically mute from shyness. I loved having a circle of friends, and I used to play sports w/ the boys while also having huge crushes on a variety of them.

    I was pretty athletic as a kid and competitive, and I used to love beating the boys at any kind of race or contest. I also used to climb everything I could, and I loved the bars.
    Hi! I'm an ENFP. :-)

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    Quote Originally Posted by CILi View Post
    lol I like how you bolded damn.

    Oh also, I had this weird tendency where I'd accidentally kick my mom in the face. I was very young at this point, too young to remember it happening, but it did. A lot, apparently.
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    I was calm and honest kid
    Looking for an Archnemesis. Willing applicants contact via PM.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Ssmall View Post
    I was calm and honest kid
    get out
    "And above all, watch with glittering eyes the whole world around you because the greatest secrets are always hidden in the most unlikely places. Those who don't believe in magic will never find it." -Roald Dahl

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    Quote Originally Posted by Galen View Post
    get out
    Make me.
    Looking for an Archnemesis. Willing applicants contact via PM.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Galen View Post
    I recall myself being weirdly reclusive and individualistic. Like when all the other kids in my elementary school were off yelling and running around aimlessly, I would be focusing on reading something or doing puzzles, things to amuse myself while everyone else was being loud and stupid. I found that the games other kids were playing were largely stupid and unengaging because they dealt with lots of people at a time, and I sorta faded into the background in those situations.
    You sound a lot like me as a kid. Even in really early years like 4th grade, I always thought everyone was so immature and stupid, lmao. I remember at recess they'd all being running around screaming and i'd be rolling my eyes praying to god someone "smart" would come along and be my friend. I was entirely too mature for a kid. I always felt at home dealing with adults, never other kids.

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    Quote Originally Posted by jessica129 View Post
    You sound a lot like me ...
    you use similar kind of phrases often.

    Is it that you recognize things in others of yourself quickly, maybe that's why you keep recognizing things of yourself in different type descriptions.

    Just something I noticed.

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    Quote Originally Posted by jessica129 View Post
    You sound a lot like me as a kid. Even in really early years like 4th grade, I always thought everyone was so immature and stupid, lmao. I remember at recess they'd all being running around screaming and i'd be rolling my eyes praying to god someone "smart" would come along and be my friend. I was entirely too mature for a kid. I always felt at home dealing with adults, never other kids.
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    Quote Originally Posted by jessica129 View Post
    You sound a lot like me as a kid. Even in really early years like 4th grade, I always thought everyone was so immature and stupid, lmao. I remember at recess they'd all being running around screaming and i'd be rolling my eyes praying to god someone "smart" would come along and be my friend. I was entirely too mature for a kid. I always felt at home dealing with adults, never other kids.
    Quote Originally Posted by WorkaholicsAnon View Post
    you ARE delta.
    Yeah, agree with WorkaholicsAnon. Jessica's and Galen's experiences remind me of my elementary school life. I think I have enjoyed college the most as compared to the rest of my schooling days, and I am glad that I had managed to held on so long to finally enjoy my schooling experience.

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