A few more "boys" from my past...
Sorry, no pictures. Just descriptions.
Guy #1
He and I were casual friends in middle school and high school. I had a crush on him, but it was not reciprocated to my knowledge. Either that, or he just wasn't interested in a deeper relationship at the time (he never had a girlfriend in high school, and even now he is still single, though I suppose he might have had a girlfriend or two I don't know about).
When I knew him, he was not a very serious person. At least never around me. I think probably the most serious he ever got was when he explained to me that he didn't like to sing and dance when I invited him to be in a community musical production with me.
He was a classified "nerd." As were his friends he hung out with at lunch time. They would sit around eating their lunch, discussing such absurd topics as "what is the square root of a bowl of oatmeal," and they even designed a "spud-launcher" once. I sometimes sat in and listened, bemused, but never participated in the discussions. I was mostly just interested in being near him...
When I was a Junior and he was a Senior, I hinted to him a couple times that I was hoping he'd ask me to the Homecoming dance. However, he explained to me later that he felt an obligation to take out one of his Senior friends instead, since it was their last chance to go (never mind that his Senior female friends were always getting asked to the dances by somebody, and I was never once asked by anybody). I also did find out, through the girl that he took out, that he had tried to get one of his friends to ask me out so that at least we could have been in the same group, but his friend wasn't interested in going to the dance.
His supposed philosophy in school was "plan to fail, and then if you fail, you've succeeded." Though in actuality, he was very smart and a good student (as far as I could tell). Probably one of those types who could pull off good grades while slacking off at the same time.
He played the trumpet in the school marching band. As did another guy friend of mine (Guy #2 below). But the two of them could hardly stand each other--so it was made known to me by one or the other on several occasions.
He used to tease me for liking Jane Austen, and talked about how much he disliked Pride and Prejudice. Well, just a year or so ago he confessed to me that over the years he has actually grown to like Pride and Prejudice (after the film with Keira Knightly came out), and last Halloween he dressed up as Mr. Collins and took great pleasure in creeping everybody out. (I did not witness this personally, but learned about it via Facebook). I've seen a picture...he really does look creepy...
He enjoys baking, and even crochets. On his latest FB status update, he mentioned that he was planning to make a cheesecake...
He has also expressed how much he despises holding grudges of any sort...he has a brother who is apparently a vehement grudge-holder and as a result, he has developed a mind like a sieve when it comes to any offense, major or minor.
Okay. Guy #2
We met when I was a Freshman and he was a Sophmore. He dated a friend of mine for a few weeks and so he was hanging out in our "lunch group" part of the time, and when he broke up with that friend, he then started dating my best friend.
I don't remember for sure, but I think he was the first to write me a letter. But, maybe I actually extended the offer first. He needed someone to write to about "stuff" happening in his life, someone to confide in, and I guess I seemed like a good candidate. It quickly became a two-way deal, and I started confiding in him as well.
Our relationship was always completely platonic. In fact, if it hadn't been for the fact that his girlfriend happened to be a good friend of mine (who I think is ENFj), we would have had very little in common. Well, we were also both in choir and in Drama together. But we never would have initiated contact with each other had it not been for our mutual friend.
Looking back on things now, I highly doubt that any of my advice to him was really very useful to him, but I think mostly it was just that he needed someone to confide in without judging him, and that I truly tried to do. And he did the same for me.
There was one time, when we got into a major disagreement and were not speaking to each other for several weeks. But eventually, the ice melted again and we "agreed to disagree" on our differing beliefs and life choices. We forgave each other and moved on.
When he and my friend had been going out for over a year, I was told by my friend that he had proposed to he-- ring and all. Keep in mind, he was a Senior at the time and she was only a Junior. Well, of course she did not accept, and thought he was crazy (or something to that effect). After this, their relationship declined rapidly.
After he and my friend broke up, I think he was really lost for a while. He got into a "rebound" situation with this other girl whom I did not know, and mostly just used her for the makeout sessions. She was never very sincere towards him, either, and tended to quickly abandon his side in social situations. That relatioship didn't last very long.
He joined the Navy out of high school and became a nuclear technician. He is married now, to someone whom I tentatively type as ESFj. He spends a lot of money on her (she's posted pics on FB of jewelry he'd bought for her, as well as a couple of the expensive vacations they've been on together). Money that he probably doesn't really have. But there, I'll refrain from passing final judgement when I don't know all the details.
Last I chatted with him, he said he had essentially "burned" all memories of his high school years. When I mentioned that I still had a notebook in my closet that he and I had written to each other in, he was very surprised, and asked "why?"
Guy #3
I probably can't actually say enough about this guy to type him reliably, and what I do say will probably say more about me in the end than about him. I only knew him for a couple of weeks during a summer music camp the summer before I started high school.
I was 14 and he was 20 years old and a counselor. From the start, he seemed very nice and gentle...I also thought he looked cute. Somehow, I just felt a sort of...chemistry in our limited interaction and I was almost immediately interested in getting to know him better. Though, I never would have been bold enough to initiate a deeper connection considering how much older than me he was.
However, just a couple days into the camp, I happened to be sitting on some steps outside during free time, deep in contemplation of something or other of interest to myself. He came up and asked me if something was bothering me? I think I must have said no, I was fine, just thinking. Then he sat downbeside me and told me that if I needed someone to confide in that he would be there for me. And he also said that he knew what it was like to feel alone and misunderstood, and shared a little about his unhappy childhood (which I won't share here). I said thanks, and he got up and left.
Maybe a couple nights later, the entire camp was sitting around the campfire, and the camp director invited each of us, in turn, to say one or two words to express how we were feeling at the moment (this was a very feely-type camp, very free and open, kinda hippy-ish as it turned out). I don't remember the exact word this guy used, but whatever he said prompted me to write him a note to tell him (after thanking him for his earlier offer), that he was also welcome to come to me, if he needed a confidante.
Later, he thanked me for the note, but that there really wasn't anything to be done.
Meanwhile, during the rest of the camp session, I continued to fall deeper and deeper for this guy, spurred on by our supposed emotional connection, I guess, and probably also a good deal of old-fashioned infatuation. By the time I returned home, I had convinced myself that I was quite in love. And it really took me quite some time to be able to convince myself otherwise.
Ah, I was young and foolish once...
A couple other things about my Guy #3 that may be helpful: He loved stargazing, was awed by lightning, and waxed rather poetic once during a lightning storm in the distance that a small group of us were watching one evening.
He was a very quiet and serious individual.
He was a martial artist. Okay, he was also Asian (I know, NTR).
He and another counselor started a "Mud Club" (all the counselors had their "clubs" that they randuring the camp session and we as campers signed up for the ones that interested us most. I did not join the Mud Club). They would take the campers in their group to a muddy spot and they'd all play in the mud and get filthy.
And thank you
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Originally Posted by pianosinger
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(as per tcaudilllg)
--> perhaps Normalizing 
