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    Default Ex-boyfriend

    Some things about this guy that might be helpful...

    When we started dating (we were in college), he made a point of being open and telling me about all his previous girlfriends (he'd had three).

    He kept a picture in his room, of his very first girlfriend he'd had in high school...like he was still in love with her in a way. He showed it to me once, and said he thought she was a very pretty girl, and very sweet and kind, and how he regretted that things couldn't have been different. A little weird...I mean, I can respect a guy for telling me about his previous girlfriends, but to show me a picture? and keep it in his room? Did he look at it every night before he went to bed?...idk. And he'd had two other girlfriends between this girl and me.

    He was a very morally-opinionated person. Like, he believed that kissing was next to sex, and so he would not kiss a girl unless she was his wife. I was fine with this, personally, I certainly did not expect him to start kissing me after only a couple weeks of dating...he could have just kept silent about the whole thing and it would have been perfectly agreeable...but the way he felt the need to explain it all to me, to make sure we had that understanding...

    The way he broke up with me...we went for a walk, and during that walk he told me that another girl he knew had asked him to a girls' choice dance. He told me that he thought he should accept, but he was letting me know about it. I figured at that point that if he was thinking about dating another girl, that it was time for me to let him go.

    But, we still remained friends and actually continued to see each other a lot. We always had a lot to talk about with each other. I think he thought of me as a sister in a way...someone whom he had taken in, and-- even though I wasn't his girlfriend anymore-- he still felt a responsibility to take care of me and help me to move on. I could've done without the looking-after, but I still liked him as a friend. I just felt so...comfortable around him.

    His mother had given birth at home to all her children, and he wanted his future wife to do the same.

    He knew how to sew clothing, and how to bake bread. He had some interesting tastes in food...One of our first "dates," he took me to his apartment and made me a sandwich with dark rye bread, anise, and cumin (I think there was one other ingredient I can't recall). It was...interesting. This was a ritual which he said he put all of his girlfriends through...

    He had made himself a chain-mail headdress (took him years to put together). He had to talk to me at length about how he had made the headdress, what was the best "method," where he had acquired all his material...

    He was always taking 17-18 credits a semester. Not only required classes, but several that he just wanted to take because they interested him...like dancing, sign language, History of Christianity...stuff like that.

    He made a point of "making his rounds" every so often to visit his friends-- particularly girls.

    He overanalyzed everything. Had to talk everything out at length.

    We shared the same birthday, but I did not know this. He was purposely secretive about when his birthday was, and I didn't think much of it; but on my birthday (which was after we broke up), he finally revealed to me that it was his birthday, too. He seemed to take great pleasure in the surprise, and how he went about telling me was to play the "Birthday" song by the Beetles, which he had to search high and low for as he did not have his own personal copy.

    He talked about how he felt a moral obligation to get married someday, but that in many ways he wished he could just remain a bachelor forever.
    Last edited by pianosinger; 01-31-2011 at 07:49 PM. Reason: deleted pics; been up long enough
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    I'd go for LIE, but I could also see LSE.

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    Quote Originally Posted by aixelsyd View Post
    LSE? SEE? ESE? Hard to say.
    Hmm, LSE seems possible...Gamma is possible, though I have a hard time seeing SEE. ESE...nah.

    I've been thinking possibly Fi-Base...EII>ESI. But, he does kinda seem like more of a Sensor than Intuitor in a lot of ways...Si-Ego is possible, too.
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    E1?
    Pre-2013 post are written with incomplete understanding.

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    A couple more...points...

    Shortly after we met, one evening he asked me if he could "pet" my hair. He had this thing for smooth textures, I gues...

    He took issue with the fact that I had blonde hair. Put out this whole analogy about how vanilla used to be such a special flavor, and then artificial vanilla flavoring came along and cheapened the whole vanilla experience...so, he said, it was with blondes.
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    You should say the same thing about him; men used to be such a great thing in the world, but then when douchebags, egomaniacs, and pansies came along, it sort of lessened it all.
    Pre-2013 post are written with incomplete understanding.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Ryu View Post
    You should say the same thing about him; men used to be such a great thing in the world, but then when douchebags, egomaniacs, and pansies came along, it sort of lessened it all.
    haha...

    Really, though, he was a good guy. He just had some...very odd ideas about some things...

    Oh, another thing. He had declared every Friday to be "Free Hug Friday," and would go around on that day offering free hugs to friends and acquaintances. He was real big on giving hugs.
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    Weird-ass ILI, or IEI.
    What do these signs mean—, , etc.? Why cannot socionists use symbols Ne, Ni etc. as in MBTI? Just because they have somewhat different meaning. Socionics and MBTI, each in its own way, have slightly modified the original Jung's description of his 8 psychological types. For this reason, (Ne) is not exactly the same as Ne in MBTI.

    Just one example: in MBTI, Se (extraverted sensing) is associated with life pleasures, excitement etc. By contrast, the socionic function (extraverted sensing) is first and foremost associated with control and expansion of personal space (which sometimes can manifest in excessive aagression, but often also manifests in a capability of managing lots of people and things).

    For this reason, we consider comparison between MBTI types and socionic types by functions to be rather useless than useful.

    -Victor Gulenko, Dmitri Lytov

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    INFj

    You gave a very big clue, "he overanalyzed everything." (Which is, for all those people who can't type for diddly squat...Ti role NOT Ti ego.)
    Last edited by Beautiful sky; 01-25-2011 at 06:14 AM.

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    lolz
    What do these signs mean—, , etc.? Why cannot socionists use symbols Ne, Ni etc. as in MBTI? Just because they have somewhat different meaning. Socionics and MBTI, each in its own way, have slightly modified the original Jung's description of his 8 psychological types. For this reason, (Ne) is not exactly the same as Ne in MBTI.

    Just one example: in MBTI, Se (extraverted sensing) is associated with life pleasures, excitement etc. By contrast, the socionic function (extraverted sensing) is first and foremost associated with control and expansion of personal space (which sometimes can manifest in excessive aagression, but often also manifests in a capability of managing lots of people and things).

    For this reason, we consider comparison between MBTI types and socionic types by functions to be rather useless than useful.

    -Victor Gulenko, Dmitri Lytov

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    Quote Originally Posted by Maritsa33 View Post
    INFj

    You gave a very big clue, "he overanalyzed everything." (Which is, for all those people who can't type for diddly squat...Ti role NOT Ti ego.)
    No.
    Pre-2013 post are written with incomplete understanding.

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    Quote Originally Posted by pianosinger View Post
    Hmm, LSE seems possible...Gamma is possible, though I have a hard time seeing SEE. ESE...nah.

    I've been thinking possibly Fi-Base...EII>ESI. But, he does kinda seem like more of a Sensor than Intuitor in a lot of ways...Si-Ego is possible, too.
    YES PERIOD

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    Fi-ISFj?

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    Quote Originally Posted by Maritsa33 View Post
    YES PERIOD
    NO (underlined & in bold)
    Pre-2013 post are written with incomplete understanding.

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    My first thought was LSE 1, too. DKM.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Maritsa33 View Post
    YES PERIOD
    well,I did suggest that EII was possible. However, also look at it this again...

    He kept a picture in his room, of his very first girlfriend he'd had in high school...like he was still in love with her in a way. He showed it to me once, and said he thought she was a very pretty girl, and very sweet and kind, and how he regretted that things couldn't have been different. A little weird...I mean, I can respect a guy for telling me about his previous girlfriends, but to show me a picture? and keep it in his room? Did he look at it every night before he went to bed?...idk. And he'd had two other girlfriends between this girl and me.
    This suggests to me probably valued, but also possible weak Fi...that is, being unaware of the inappropriateness of showing off a picture of an old flame.
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    Quote Originally Posted by eunice View Post
    Fi-ISFj?
    Though of this too, but idk...my Supervisee? It certainly didn't feel like that sort of relationship...
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    So, just went and read the LSE profile...I think we have a WINNER.
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    he sort of reminds me of E1 LSEs
    Pre-2013 post are written with incomplete understanding.

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    LSE makes sense. When I read the OP I kept thinking, wow, sounds like a weird & boring guy. It'd make sense that we'd be conflictors because I doubt we'd see eye to eye.
    Quote Originally Posted by jxrtes View Post
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ryu View Post
    he sort of reminds me of E1 LSEs
    Ok, I agree, he's LSE.

    Wow you are my dual, afterall.

    Bragging about method in acquiring something would be a good indication of Te.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Maritsa33 View Post
    Ok, I agree, he's LSE.

    Wow you are my dual, afterall.

    Bragging about method in acquiring something would be a good indication of Te.
    My constant nagging about how you should go about things in a better way didn't tip you off?

    That's too bad.
    Pre-2013 post are written with incomplete understanding.

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    Quote Originally Posted by pianosinger View Post
    I've been thinking possibly Fi-Base...EII>ESI. But, he does kinda seem like more of a Sensor than Intuitor in a lot of ways...Si-Ego is possible, too.
    Quote Originally Posted by Maritsa33 View Post
    You gave a very big clue, "he overanalyzed everything." (Which is, for all those people who can't type for diddly squat...Ti role NOT Ti ego.)
    Quote Originally Posted by eunice View Post
    Fi-ISFj?
    My first thought was actually ISFj too...
    1. The whole breaking up by mentioning going to a dance with another girl, not saying how he felt... Fi.
    2. Holding onto traditions passed by his mom and authority, without thinking at all about the practicality of it... Fi.
    3. Giving out hugs to physically express how he felt emotionally, Se supporting Fi.
    4. Wanting to run his hand through your hair. Se.
    5. And the best for last... Kissing viewed as next to sex... aka strict ethics, aka Fi leading.


    This is screaming ISFj. And he even VIs as ISFj too, imho.

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    Some things about this guy that might be helpful...

    When we started dating (we were in college), he made a point of being open and telling me about all his previous girlfriends (he'd had three).

    Sign he's not interested in you because they are still interested in their X

    He kept a picture in his room, of his very first girlfriend he'd had in high school...like he was still in love with her in a way. He showed it to me once, and said he thought she was a very pretty girl, and very sweet and kind, and how he regretted that things couldn't have been different. A little weird...I mean, I can respect a guy for telling me about his previous girlfriends, but to*show me a picture?*and*keep it in his room?*Did he look at it every night before he went to bed?...idk. And he'd had two other girlfriends between this girl and me.

    He's sentimental and he objectifies them; she's an object he's worshiping because he has a shrine of her. Animus, in Jung.

    He was a very morally-opinionated person. Like, he believed that kissing was next to sex, and so he would not kiss a girl unless she was his wife. I was fine with this, personally, I certainly did not expect him to start kissing me after only a couple weeks of dating...he could have just kept silent about the whole thing and it would have been perfectly agreeable...but the way he felt the need to explain it all to me, to make sure we had that understanding...

    Te idealistic thinking.

    The way he broke up with me...we went for a walk, and during that walk he told me that another girl he knew had asked him to a girls' choice dance. He told me that he thought he should accept, but he was letting me know about it. I figured at that point that if he was thinking about dating another girl, that it was time for me to let him go.


    This is really weird.

    But, we still remained friends and actually continued to see each other a lot. We always had a lot to talk about with each other. I think he thought of me as a sister in a way...someone whom he had taken in, and-- even though I wasn't his girlfriend anymore-- he still felt a responsibility to take care of me and help me to move on. I could've done without the looking-after, but I still liked him as a friend. I just felt so...comfortable around him.

    This is more of an Fi thing.

    His mother had given birth at home to all her children, and he wanted his future wife to do the same.

    Ok, this is not logical and realllly weird. I just don't see Te doing this nor do I see Fi doing this. This is Te too because he's into the manufacturing the kids, it's about how their made not that they exist; objectifying the kids is Te.

    He knew how to sew clothing, and how to bake bread. He had some interesting tastes in food...One of our first "dates," he took me to his apartment and made me a sandwich with dark rye bread, anise, and cumin (I think there was one other ingredient I can't recall). It was...interesting. This was a ritual which he said he put all of his girlfriends through...

    OKKKKKAAAYYYY; this is more of an Introverted thing. A bit Si

    He had made himself a chain-mail headdress (took him years to put together). He had to talk to me at length about how he had made the headdress, what was the best "method," where he had acquired all his material...

    This part is the only Te I see. Particularly when he speaks about method...and also with the kid thing.

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    Dear Ryu,

    This analysis was done without your instructions (aka constant nagging that has no specific instructions or Te) because your instructions are useless to me.
    Last edited by Beautiful sky; 01-27-2011 at 07:02 AM.

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    He looks very LII in the pictures. (no actual opinion on his type)
    Quote Originally Posted by pianosinger View Post
    Like, he believed that kissing was next to sex
    Well that's correct. Would you accept your bf kiss other girl(s)?
    Quote Originally Posted by pianosinger View Post
    He had made himself a chain-mail headdress (took him years to put together). He had to talk to me at length about how he had made the headdress, what was the best "method," where he had acquired all his material...
    This guy is maybe very meticulous, in a good way, I think, years ago I made a chainmail hood in several days or weeks .
    http://i31.photobucket.com/albums/c3...os3/chmwir.jpg
    In fact I intended to make a full coat, but I could not find the same type of wire, the new one (the collar in the picture) was thinner (or thicker, don't remember), softer and other color.

    -- Bolt

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    LOL, since when is wanting to pet someone's hair Se? If ur talking about someone's preference for wanting to touch textures ...ur joking right?


    His whole demeanor, no offense, kind of gives me the creeps, especially in the pics.. I'd say you dodged a bullet by having him break it off, granted that's just my take.. Not wanting to kiss someone before marriage, his dislikes of blonde hair because of it's suggested popularity and overused dye jobs..I mean, u look entirely naturally blonde, what's the big deal? If brunettes are his thing then by all means, but why phrase it as an example about vanilla?

    Doesn't seem Fi to me. maybe LSE..

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    "Sign he's not interested in you because they are still interested in their X"
    coming from a guy's perspective I have been unable to commit to any other women because I'm still hung up on my ex. I've even been in bed with other women but my feelings remain the same.

    "He's sentimental and he objectifies them; she's an object he's worshiping because he has a shrine of her. Animus, in Jung."

    bar none the most insightful words written I've read today. thanks marista. question: "she's an object he's worshiping" is that limited to men strictly or women do that too? I feel naive for asking. Would that explain narcissim? To objectify oneself as an object of worship?

    as for the main thread I can not offer any answer but I agree your better off without him. He sounds conversative.

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    then again...honestly you posted a thread about him with pics. Can you claim your not a bit werid yourself?

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    Quote Originally Posted by Maritsa33 View Post
    You gave a very big clue, "he overanalyzed everything." (Which is, for all those people who can't type for diddly squat...Ti role NOT Ti ego.)
    Let's see if we can raise your identification skills above the level of diddly squat.

    According to theory I'm creative Te/demonstrative Ti, but I hear exasperated people ask me "Over-analyze much?!?" all the time.

    Now subjecting everything to critical examination is the hallmark of any T-ego, and perhaps NTs in particular. Whether a predominating logical bent is introverted or extroverted, base or creative, that merely determines the flavor of the intellect exhibited, not whether it's present at all.

    On the other hand, Ti/Te-role is indicative of those individuals who might bust a gasket trying to juggle too many ideas at once because their cognitive strengths lie elsewhere. It isn't impossible for them to draw valid conclusions through logical means, but it's certainly necessary to make a focused effort.

    So it isn't so much a matter of being frequently or even excessively analytical, because one could be forced into thinky-mode often by demanding environmental factors. It's a matter of being deft and fluid at it.

    **********

    Regarding this ex I'd say he's LSE. It seems that he values consistency, regulation, and continuity. In fact the pens in his pocket make me wonder if he's similarly prepared with a watch and pocket notebook, and perhaps even two quarters in his wallet for emergency phonecalls. He seems to have well defined if idiosyncratic standards for personal conduct and doesn't sound shy about imposing them on others, albeit in a well-intentioned way. And though my reluctance to rely on this kind of VI makes me skeptical of my reasons for saying so, certain aspects of his carriage and physiognomy remind me of a Te-LSE I've known for some time.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Korpsey View Post
    In fact the pens in his pocket make me wonder if he's similarly prepared with a watch and pocket notebook, and perhaps even two quarters in his wallet for emergency phonecalls.
    idk about all that, but he did carry a handkerchief in his pocket...

    then again...honestly you posted a thread about him with pics. Can you claim your not a bit werid yourself?
    Haha, you may be right...

    His whole demeanor, no offense, kind of gives me the creeps, especially in the pics.. I'd say you dodged a bullet by having him break it off, granted that's just my take..
    He never seemed creepy to me...but, I do agree that it's a good thing he and I did not stay together. I am better off with the man I have now, and (I hope) he is better off with his wife (as of one and a half years).

    ..I mean, u look entirely naturally blonde,
    I am.

    If brunettes are his thing then by all means, but why phrase it as an example about vanilla?
    Yeah, idk why it was such a big deal for him, but...whatever. It's all water under the bridge now. I wasn't his type, I can live with that.

    years ago I made a chainmail hood in several days or weeks .
    http://i31.photobucket.com/albums/c3...os3/chmwir.jpg
    In fact I intended to make a full coat, but I could not find the same type of wire, the new one (the collar in the picture) was thinner (or thicker, don't remember), softer and other color.
    Bolt-- that's pretty cool. Though, you could take a better pic than one with the hood all bunched-up on the floor...

    His mother had given birth at home to all her children, and he wanted his future wife to do the same.
    Update FTR, I got to see pics recently of him and his wife with their brand new baby, and guess what-- they're in the hospital.
    My life's work (haha):
    http://www.the16types.info/vbulletin/blog.php?b=709
    Input, PLEASEAnd thank you

  32. #32
    Creepy-

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    Quote Originally Posted by pianosinger View Post
    Bolt-- that's pretty cool. Though, you could take a better pic than one with the hood all bunched-up on the floor...
    I could not find any picture with someone wearing it, although I could swear I had any... It must be thrown around in my father's messy yard, I'll ask my gf - who's currently in his city - to take a look to maybe bring it here. Just don't laugh, it's not very dense, it's rather a toy (maybe ornamental) than a true chainmail piece.

    The picture is very old (~14 y.a.?), one of the reasons why I quit doing such things is that my IEI friend created a chainmail tunic that was very dense and realistic - my rings were about 1.5-2x larger than his - so when I realized how tedious it is to make such thing I gave up. Here's my IEE ex wearing it, I'd ask for a full-time salary just for counting the rings, not to mention bending the wire around that rod, cutting it and hooking the pieces together using two pairs of flat pliers :|.

    -- Bolt

  33. #33
    not gonna be around as much anymore
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    my IEI friend created a chainmail tunic that was very dense and realistic - my rings were about 1.5-2x larger than his - so when I realized how tedious it is to make such thing I gave up. Here's my IEE ex wearing it,
    I'm going to fill the IEE stereotype here and say...oooooohhhhh, shiny......
    My life's work (haha):
    http://www.the16types.info/vbulletin/blog.php?b=709
    Input, PLEASEAnd thank you

  34. #34
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    Quote Originally Posted by pianosinger View Post
    Update FTR, I got to see pics recently of him and his wife with their brand new baby, and guess what-- they're in the hospital.
    ha I guess he learned 'don't tell a pregnant what to do'


    fwiw from the description I lean towards LSE as well
    EII INFj
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