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Thread: I want a life

  1. #1
    Creepy-male

    Default I want a life...

    Of poetry and magic.

    But such a life does not exist. When I wake up tomorrow, I will have nothing to keep me company but numbness and emptiness. The beauty of the world will fall upon deaf ears and blind eyes. Right now, I live suspended in a moment of sublime beauty. It hurts so much, it's so sad, but I'm at least alive. I'm feeling something deeply. I'm alive. And it hurts, but it's so beautiful. It's absolutely wonderful beyond measure or expression. It hurts so goddamn much.

    I don't want to go back to always being a step behind my entire life, watching it inexorably unfurl in front of me. I don't want to go back to being an observer in my own mind. I don't want to go back to playing games with people just to try and fit in, always hiding who I am, what I think, and what I feel. I don't want to go back to being alone in a world where I don't feel like I belong. I don't want to go back to the stress and the torture inherent in just trying to support the inane trifles of my own metabolism.

    I want people to understand what I see. I want people to feel what I feel. I don't want to be so alone all the time. I want something better than words. I wish I could hold someone's hand to my heart, and have all my feelings course through them. I wish someone would understand. I wish I had someone to share these moments with. I wish there was someone out there who saw the same wonders as I did.

    But none of that can happen.

    It's like life is a cruel joke. Even though I gave up long ago, my body keeps marching on, to the rhythm that time drums out. I wish it could all be over, and I have done for a long time now. But it never ends, and there's no escape. There's no way out.

    And it sucks.

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    What does your actual life consist of now?
    “No psychologist should pretend to understand what he does not understand... Only fools and charlatans know everything and understand nothing.” -Anton Chekhov

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  3. #3
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    Actual real life?

    Worrying about University, and getting a headache over it.
    Worrying about buying myself food.
    Worrying about preparing the food.
    Trying really hard to not think about stuff.
    Occasionally having lapses in this and becoming very, very sad, more than I know how to deal with.

    EDIT

    And momentary respites that feel good at the time, but leave me feeling utterly betrayed and disappointed when the good feelings wear off.

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    You remind me a bit of myself in my high school years. I used to have similar emotional moments/outbursts/whatever you want to call them. Mostly as a result of the huge stress and changes in my life at that time, but also because I was (and have always been) a very emotional person. Things did get significantly better though, and they will for you too. Just hang tight.

    One thing I'm curious though. Why have you given up?
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    That sucks man. I don't have much else to say, except I feel that way sometimes too. And I dunno, maybe you'll find people to share yourself with, maybe you won't, but at least know that however hard it is, if you still want something it means you're not dead. That's probably no help. Anyway, sorry.
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    What do you regret the most in your life?
    4w5 sp/sx

    Please, direct all questioning of my self-typing to this thread. Thank you.

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    I don't know if there's a way to hang onto it and grow it rather than letting it fall and forgetting returning to the day-to-day drudgery. I don't know how to turn a feeling into a constant reality validating it as something more than just a passing mood. Some feelings provide rareness to transcend into another state or person (gateways) and watching them pass by not knowing how to pass through is indeed filled with longing before forgetting again. It's another way of experiencing suffering.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Thanks Arthur View Post
    Actual real life?

    Worrying about University, and getting a headache over it.
    Worrying about buying myself food.
    Worrying about preparing the food.
    Trying really hard to not think about stuff.
    Occasionally having lapses in this and becoming very, very sad, more than I know how to deal with.

    EDIT

    And momentary respites that feel good at the time, but leave me feeling utterly betrayed and disappointed when the good feelings wear off.
    I don't know if my post will be any good, but for me leaving home was exciting. I didn't care much if there were times I couldn't afford food, that was just part of the new adventure. I looked forward to meeting new people, new girls. I thought about the positives and thought about the negatives as positives. For instance, no money? well at least I'm rich in spirit.

    There will be plenty other people with the same problems as yourself so you won't be pressurized into feeling left out.

    And on that, if you don't feel ready for it yet, take a year out first. Don't let others expectations of you become more important than yourself.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Thanks Arthur View Post
    Actual real life?

    Worrying about University, and getting a headache over it.
    Worrying about buying myself food.
    Worrying about preparing the food.
    Trying really hard to not think about stuff.
    Occasionally having lapses in this and becoming very, very sad, more than I know how to deal with.

    EDIT

    And momentary respites that feel good at the time, but leave me feeling utterly betrayed and disappointed when the good feelings wear off.
    Understood completely.

    Currently, I am susceptible to periodic emotional breakdowns, for no apparent reason, actually. Sometimes it all just gets too much...

    Anyway, I hope you find a solution at some point. My one hope that I am waiting on is university... if that fails, I give up too.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Thanks Arthur View Post
    Actual real life?

    Worrying about University, and getting a headache over it.
    Worrying about buying myself food.
    Worrying about preparing the food.
    Trying really hard to not think about stuff.
    Occasionally having lapses in this and becoming very, very sad, more than I know how to deal with.

    EDIT

    And momentary respites that feel good at the time, but leave me feeling utterly betrayed and disappointed when the good feelings wear off.
    What about university?

    Also, sometimes with things you don't want to think about, the best thing is think about them and figure out if they are realistic beliefs or how you might change them or why you care.

    Do you get out much? Interact with people?
    “No psychologist should pretend to understand what he does not understand... Only fools and charlatans know everything and understand nothing.” -Anton Chekhov

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  13. #13
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    you need a grateful dead show gul, I wish I could take you to one.

    Last edited by bg; 01-13-2011 at 07:03 AM.

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    In my opinion you will be just fine, not now, not soon, but after university you will be. I remember the stress I felt when I was like 21, University sucked (heck I even droped out for a year), it seemed pointless, my life was a mess, I stoped going out and all I did was study and play games, even my relationship sucked and I wanted out of it but had no willpower to do it. At some point I though that I should even change what I study and start all over with hopes it will make sense and I will find that something that I want to do which will fullfill me somehow.

    I didnt and Im very glad I didnt, because 3 years later my life changed completely. I finally finished university, I found a well paid job which I can even envy myself (travels, new people etc.) and I broke out with my girlfriend (which was quite a bad relationship, no matter how mature we were), I started reaching out to my friends again and live an active life. I started dating again too, which opened me for me posibilities to meet really beautifull people (in body and soul) and go on a life journey with them. I remember that feeling I had then, it was sublime, it was if I started to live the life I want and stoped being simply a bystander who is carried by the wave of life with no influence on it. It was as if I have waken up.

    Im still not sure people know who I really am, even close ones but I am damn sure they know me much better now and now I allow myself sometimes just to tell things as they are and surprisingly nothing bad happens.

    Suspended animation usually allows one to survive even if it limits existance in a severe way. And it also passes. Take care, im sure youll be fine, there is life waiting for you which will be great im sure.

    </random rambling>
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  16. #16
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sir Knight View Post
    What do you regret the most in your life?
    Tough one. Probably not being able to really reconnect properly with my parents after growing up being terrified of them and later resenting them and all the BS they pulled on me.

    And thanks for your responses, guys. Your situation sounds a lot like mine, Ssmall. You really didn't have to stop rambling, I liked reading that I guess the difference is, I'm not really studying to get a job, I'm studying out of interest and hoping that leads to a job

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    Slippery when wet Simon Ssmall's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Thanks Arthur View Post
    And thanks for your responses, guys. Your situation sounds a lot like mine, Ssmall. You really didn't have to stop rambling, I liked reading that I guess the difference is, I'm not really studying to get a job, I'm studying out of interest and hoping that leads to a job
    Heh, no its not a difference. I also studied out of interest and not in order to find the job, I simply lost interest in the process. Reality is though, it was just a way to run away from all of it, to purge everything into what I become. For me runing away is usually option number one, and by wanting to drop everything, my mind was doing just that. I actually already had some sort of a job when I wanted to drop my studies. The fact why Im glad I didnt is because I dont think it would have fixed anything at all, maybe even make it worse, I would still be studying probably .
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    Almost everyone finds love eventually. By the time they're 30 or so, most people are coupled off. You'll find someone too. Things will get better!

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    I want a life...
    Of poetry and magic.

    But such a life does not exist.
    Tell that to a hollywood actor that gets paid billions and can do whatever they want with the money. They pretty much are living a fairytale life. The mental perspective that life is painful and hard, makes life painful and hard. You just need to somehow retrain your brain to think positively, not negatively.

    When I wake up tomorrow, I will have nothing to keep me company but numbness and emptiness.
    Then do something different. Change it up. It won't be a miracle cure right away- but even if you fill your life with pain and annoying things you don't want to do, that's better than the nothingness inside isn't? And the more you live life , the more you make small choices day by day- the more you 'become the media' instead of 'watching the media' the clearer you will get about what you really want and what will make you happy. But it's gonna happen one step at a time.

    *hugs you* You just need emotional support while you make those choices. =D

    The beauty of the world will fall upon deaf ears and blind eyes.
    Not necessarily. I enjoy the world's beauty. I love going outside and looking at the sky and just basking everything in, spiritually. I forget how much I like that sometimes because like a lot of roleplaying losers I like video games and being glued to a computer. I think I might always prefer that. But it can get depressing.

    Right now, I live suspended in a moment of sublime beauty. It hurts so much, it's so sad, but I'm at least alive. I'm feeling something deeply. I'm alive. And it hurts, but it's so beautiful. It's absolutely wonderful beyond measure or expression. It hurts so goddamn much.
    It will get better. It's just a feeling, and feelings will pass. The greatest of feelings, and the lowest of feelings and all the things inbetween. They all just flow through your body and change up. So just hold on. Just 'stick it out.'

    I don't want to go back to always being a step behind my entire life, watching it inexorably unfurl in front of me.
    Yeah. Most people have a mindset of wanting to be a distant, objective observer instead of the participator. But the participator is the only one that feels the surge of joy and the aliveness. The participator also feels NEGATIVE feelings a lot, but that's way better then the nothingness you felt when you were the observer. To be the star and not the watcher though, you're going to have to learn an important spiritual lesson: You're going to have stop holding on hard to your mental perceptions and what you think you know. You're going to have to just 'be here now' and let go of your perceptions. You're just going to have to 'stick it out' and hold on when your emotions shift and change.

    Think about this. You know in video games, the 'all-seeing eye' is considered an Evil Omen. And it is evil. The First Evil, the symbol on cbs. This is evil. Evil beings don't feel. They only watch. They only gather things with their intellect. They are everywhere, but they lack the spiritual essence of emotions. When you stop trying to be this eye, when you stop giving the eye attention- when you stop 'trying to fight it' - you then begin blossoming spiritually. You're beginning to enjoy the ride. Because there's no 'set destination.' The universe and the world obviously isn't like that. It's not like that physically. (and the physical and spiritual are connected) If there was a goal how could anything improve or evolve?

    I don't want to go back to being an observer in my own mind.
    Being overly introspective isn't healthy for anybody. You're a good guy with a loving heart. You just need to probably exercise a bit more and work on your physical appearance and have a better self-image. But there's nothing wrong inside of you that you have to 'self-reflect' on. You don't really hurt others as far as I can tell. You troll people on the internet but who doesn't? =p

    I don't want to go back to playing games with people just to try and fit in,
    Yeah. And I always saw through this tactic too. It didn't really fool anybody though. You're being more real, and I'm liking you a lot for it.

    always hiding who I am, what I think, and what I feel.
    I wish people said their opinions more. But everybody in the midwest wants to be 'fake nice' and super-ego and just go along with what everybody else does. They're sheep. I'm like so mentally and spiritually above these dirtbags. But then again if I was around the hollywood narcissists, I would just want to compete with them and punch them in the face too. I've already found my family. It's here. On these internet message boards.... or I wouldn't feel 'pulled' to post here. Maybe I'll get a new family one day. But for now I think this is it. It might change or it might not. Just whatever you know?

    I don't want to go back to being alone in a world where I don't feel like I belong.
    A lot of people feel that way.

    I don't want to go back to the stress and the torture inherent in just trying to support the inane trifles of my own metabolism.
    Remember what I always told you? When we focus on ourselves, we're usually unhappy - when we focus on others, we're usually happy. Bullying feels better than being a useless victim. But helping others genuinely feels even better than bullying them!

    I want people to understand what I see. I want people to feel what I feel.
    I would say your goal should just try to be happier first, because wanting other people to understand your perspectives is harder than people realize at first. It's like byron katie said: People only know you by the stories they tell themselves. If they want to see you a certain way in their OWN minds, it can be difficult changing that- because then you're like living somebody else's dream. (Indirectly and not-intentionally mind you, but technically that's what's happening)

    So instead of worrying about being understood, or having people show genuine empathy to you- just focus on what brings you inner joy and all the other stuff might fall into place.

    I don't want to be so alone all the time.
    I know, but a healthy productive relationship with somebody else takes a lot of time and effort and of course you have to have natural chemistry on top of it. If you don't want to be alone/lonely you just have to work on it instead of taking the easy way out of ignoring other people and avoiding the human race because they didn't do something that you approved of. You have to stay connected, in other words. Don't think of it as hard though. But it will take work.

    I want something better than words. I wish I could hold someone's hand to my heart, and have all my feelings course through them.
    I think we all want that. But the problem is, people have too much of their own pain usually to absorb yours. People being happy and spiritually intuned will always be rarer than people being lost. One person being vibrationally aligned with their own source is a trillion times more powerful than 50,000 people who are not. They can't help you because they're too busy dealing with their own pain. The best thing that can help you is those dorky fantasy magical adventure shows that you probably like- because the hollywood writers who got that far in the world have it made (and they know it) and they don't have to deal with much pain. So they help other people as much as possible. But people in your regular life won't be able to do that very much.

    So the only way is to really 'get higher yourself.'

    I wish someone would understand. I wish I had someone to share these moments with. I wish there was someone out there who saw the same wonders as I did.
    Never stop believing or having hope. When you're meeting somebody romantically for the first time or even a new friend, it's very important to have a positive attitude. The world is too cynical and negative.

    But none of that can happen.
    Well no, it can't happen when you already decided that it won't happen. You have to believe/think it in your mind as if it already happened first, before you can enjoy the physical manifestation.

    It's like life is a cruel joke.
    You just need a hug.

    Even though I gave up long ago, my body keeps marching on, to the rhythm that time drums out. I wish it could all be over, and I have done for a long time now. But it never ends, and there's no escape. There's no way out.
    You don't want a 'way out' you just want to feel better. You want a WAY IN.

    And it sucks.
    This too shall pass.
    Last edited by bnd; 01-13-2011 at 03:00 PM.

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    University years can suck for the same reason high school years can suck. It's too much of a closed community. Things are much better once you get past that and have a larger pool of people to draw from and to interact with.

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    Thanks, Sammy

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    Quote Originally Posted by BulletsAndDoves View Post
    You don't want a 'way out' you just want to feel better. You want a WAY IN.
    I usually never understand the intents or contents of your posts, but this... is deep.
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    This might sound cold, but if you'd given up, you would be dead (suicide) or you wouldn't have any expectations or desires for yourself and content to the point of dissociation with however the world might treat you from day to day.

    There are people that worry and stress over things that they think they deserve or need, be it for a social reason, standard of living reason, or more biological desire such as hunger, companionship, or love. It can cause a lot of distress. It's in our programming to want these things; someone who is socially ostracized and/or isolated feels emotional dissonance; someone who isn't able to eat well or enough to be considered nourished feels fatigue and pain; someone that is cold or dehydrated will have trouble sleeping and functioning.

    These things can all make a person very 'uncomfortable'. But it isn't being uncomfortable that bothers these kinds of people, it's the worry and stress that they create because they believe or fester this fearful instinct that they aren't getting what they need or deserve. When those people keep such a fear at bay or even teach themselves not to allow it to take form at all, this leaves them able to now enjoy their Qualia and feel free, when before they felt like slaves being forced to run a marathon or get the whip.

    Why am I saying this? I know it sounds religious and all that, but at least it's an actual solution for some as opposed to empty stock-saying emotional support or a solicitation to a drug or religion that is much more common, but completely unhelpful for solving any real problems without being there directly, in person, in their life, for them. Because what good is that if you still end up having to deal with the exact same problems?

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    Quote Originally Posted by Milkor View Post
    ...but at least it's an actual solution...
    I only see analysis. Where/what is the solution?
    “Whether we fall by ambition, blood, or lust, like diamonds we are cut with our own dust.”

    Quote Originally Posted by Gilly
    You've done yourself a huge favor developmentally by mustering the balls to do something really fucking scary... in about the most vulnerable situation possible.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Parkster View Post
    I only see analysis. Where/what is the solution?
    To let go.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Milkor View Post
    To let go.
    Let go of what?
    “Whether we fall by ambition, blood, or lust, like diamonds we are cut with our own dust.”

    Quote Originally Posted by Gilly
    You've done yourself a huge favor developmentally by mustering the balls to do something really fucking scary... in about the most vulnerable situation possible.

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    "let go" is some bullshit semi alpha crap.
    Introvyrt stryfe is the term used for the culmination of various feelings that usually collect in introvert vessels. The most celebrated of these vessels are the INFp and ISFp. These types are irrational by nature and cry and scream with little to no provocation. They have the ability to be happy and sad at the same time, which confuses them intensely. Hence, this paradox is aptly named "Introvyrt stryfe"
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    I must admit, your life really sucks, ThanksArthur. Rejoice my friend, the life you seek sucks even more.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bolt View Post
    I must admit, your life really sucks, ThanksArthur. Rejoice my friend, the life you seek sucks even more.
    This post did not disappoint

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    Allllllllllllllllllllllllright, n00bz.

    Let it be known I posted that as a way to give a possible source of a solution for the OP and any other that may have wanted to try such a thing. I was taking time out of my day to try to help and am not attempting to tell anyone what to believe or judge anyone; I in no way am trying to say that is the only solution or the best solution for all types of people. So slow your roll and check your vibes with what you're actually dealing with.

    Quote Originally Posted by Parkster View Post
    Let go of what?
    I'm well aware of the strategical advantage you are taking in asking questions without trying to produce any contemplated answers for such questions yourself. You clearly aren't even attempting to understand what I was getting at and view me in an antagonistic light. Why you see me this way or think I was somehow threatening you, I don't know. I am in no way judging you for how you choose to live your life. But I'm not going to waste my time replying to you if you can't put any thought yourself into understanding the potential of what I was saying. It's not in my interest to convince you to first give my ideas a chance before disregarding with social quelling tactics.

    Quote Originally Posted by jughead View Post
    "let go" is some bullshit semi alpha crap.
    Introvyrt stryfe is the term used for the culmination of various feelings that usually collect in introvert vessels. The most celebrated of these vessels are the INFp and ISFp. These types are irrational by nature and cry and scream with little to no provocation. They have the ability to be happy and sad at the same time, which confuses them intensely. Hence, this paradox is aptly named "Introvyrt stryfe"
    The term was first recorded in March 2008 by a pair of super- INFp gangsters on wikisocion. This term has resounded a great gong in the heart of one Fe-ISFp, and will be propagated as such. The original posting can be found below.
    - Kamangir
    That's what's up. Represent all my IxFps in the struggle.
    -torchie
    "Those who choose to see enemies first, find enemies."

    What the hell are you doing? If what I posted bothered you that much, I have no clue what to say to you. In no way am I threatening or judging you for who you are or think you are. Do you realize by finding what I posted as threatening and trying to silence or eliminate it you are doing to me exactly what you see me as supposedly doing to you?

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    Quote Originally Posted by Milkor View Post
    I'm well aware of the strategical advantage you are taking in asking questions without trying to produce any contemplated answers for such questions yourself. You clearly aren't even attempting to understand what I was getting at and view me in an antagonistic light. Why you see me this way or think I was somehow threatening you, I don't know.
    Bullshit. I asked a clear-cut question, and you started making shit up. I cannot produce answers for questions that refer to something YOU have said. When I don't understand (or am unsure about) where someone is coming from, I prefer to ask them, instead of assuming or speculating things I have no way of telling are correct.

    The antagonistic perception crap is a stupid and offensive lie.

    Quote Originally Posted by Milkor View Post
    But I'm not going to waste my time replying to you if you can't put any thought yourself into understanding the potential of what I was saying. It's not in my interest to convince you to first give my ideas a chance before disregarding with social quelling tactics.
    You're not going to waste your time replying to a simple question, but you'd rather write paragraphs full of shit created out of thin air? Alrighty then, keep up the good work.
    “Whether we fall by ambition, blood, or lust, like diamonds we are cut with our own dust.”

    Quote Originally Posted by Gilly
    You've done yourself a huge favor developmentally by mustering the balls to do something really fucking scary... in about the most vulnerable situation possible.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Milkor View Post
    Allllllllllllllllllllllllright, n00bz.

    Let it be known I posted that as a way to give a possible source of a solution for the OP and any other that may have wanted to try such a thing. I was taking time out of my day to try to help and am not attempting to tell anyone what to believe or judge anyone; I in no way am trying to say that is the only solution or the best solution for all types of people. So slow your roll and check your vibes with what you're actually dealing with.



    I'm well aware of the strategical advantage you are taking in asking questions without trying to produce any contemplated answers for such questions yourself. You clearly aren't even attempting to understand what I was getting at and view me in an antagonistic light. Why you see me this way or think I was somehow threatening you, I don't know. I am in no way judging you for how you choose to live your life. But I'm not going to waste my time replying to you if you can't put any thought yourself into understanding the potential of what I was saying. It's not in my interest to convince you to first give my ideas a chance before disregarding with social quelling tactics.
    LOLZ, I smell ILE. What's your self-typing, Milkor?
    Shock intuition, diamond logic.
     

    The16types.info Scientific Model

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    Quote Originally Posted by Bolt View Post
    LOLZ, I smell ILE. What's your self-typing, Milkor?
    NVM, I read your older posts, you are ILE (99.99%) no matter what you answer .
    Shock intuition, diamond logic.
     

    The16types.info Scientific Model

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    Quote Originally Posted by Parkster View Post
    Bullshit. I asked a clear-cut question, and you started making shit up. I cannot produce answers for questions that refer to something YOU have said. When I don't understand (or am unsure about) where someone is coming from, I prefer to ask them, instead of assuming or speculating things I have no way of telling are correct.
    You are offended if you think I'm writing paragraphs of shit when I was/am simply trying to help. I don't even have to look directly at the content you're posting to know this, but how you feel the need to present a negatively charged tone and reaction in your post; you're more concerned with wasting time and making me defend my position then trying to better understand anything.

    You're not going to waste your time replying to a simple question, but you'd rather write paragraphs full of shit created out of thin air? Alrighty then, keep up the good work.
    Ah, so you admit that you thought what I wrote was bullshit? And yet, you seem to think you can play the innocent, truly inquisitive, and misunderstood card.

    And people learn through trying to answer questions first for themselves. If you can't even come up with simple answers for your questions before asking for how others answer them, then you aren't trying to learn and you probably don't deserve a brain.

    And you don't get to interrogate and sit behind the one-way glass mirror, only ask questions, and pretend you're actually trying to understand or appreciate what I'm saying. I'm sometimes naive, but I'm not stupid.

    The antagonistic perception crap is a stupid and offensive lie.
    Yes, it was stupid of me to think this when you think I'm writing "paragraphs full of shit". You definitely have given my idea the 'benefit of the doubt' and have left judgement of its value until you get your questions 'answered'.

    The truth is, you already answered those questions and decided I'm full of shit, so you think you're going to have some fun and play this little game. Anyone with a critical mind will see that you aren't playing it very well.

    Edit: And for the record, it wasn't made. It was from personal life experience. If it's bullshit and made up, then I must also be lying to myself.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Thanks Arthur View Post
    Of poetry and magic.

    But such a life does not exist. When I wake up tomorrow, I will have nothing to keep me company but numbness and emptiness. The beauty of the world will fall upon deaf ears and blind eyes. Right now, I live suspended in a moment of sublime beauty. It hurts so much, it's so sad, but I'm at least alive. I'm feeling something deeply. I'm alive. And it hurts, but it's so beautiful. It's absolutely wonderful beyond measure or expression. It hurts so goddamn much.

    I don't want to go back to always being a step behind my entire life,
    watching it inexorably unfurl in front of me. I don't want to go back to being an observer in my own mind. I don't want to go back to playing games with people just to try and fit in, always hiding who I am, what I think, and what I feel. I don't want to go back to being alone in a world where I don't feel like I belong. I don't want to go back to the stress and the torture inherent in just trying to support the inane trifles of my own metabolism.

    I want people to understand what I see. I want people to feel what I feel. I don't want to be so alone all the time. I want something better than words. I wish I could hold someone's hand to my heart, and have all my feelings course through them. I wish someone would understand. I wish I had someone to share these moments with. I wish there was someone out there who saw the same wonders as I did.

    But none of that can happen.

    It's like life is a cruel joke. Even though I gave up long ago, my body keeps marching on, to the rhythm that time drums out. I wish it could all be over, and I have done for a long time now. But it never ends, and there's no escape. There's no way out.

    And it sucks.

    Bro,

    I love you, in a way. So for that reason I am not going to supervise you to smithereens right now.

    Pre-2013 post are written with incomplete understanding.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Milkor View Post
    You are offended if you think I'm writing paragraphs of shit when I was/am simply trying to help. I don't even have to look directly at the content you're posting to know this, but how you feel the need to present a negatively charged tone and reaction in your post; you're more concerned with wasting time and making me defend my position then trying to better understand anything.



    Ah, so you admit that you thought what I wrote was bullshit? And yet, you seem to think you can play the innocent, truly inquisitive, and misunderstood card.

    And people learn through trying to answer questions first for themselves. If you can't even come up with simple answers for your questions before asking for how others answer them, then you aren't trying to learn and you probably don't deserve a brain.

    And you don't get to interrogate and sit behind the one-way glass mirror, only ask questions, and pretend you're actually trying to understand or appreciate what I'm saying. I'm sometimes naive, but I'm not stupid.



    Yes, it was stupid of me to think this when you think I'm writing "paragraphs full of shit". You definitely have given my idea the 'benefit of the doubt' and have left judgement of its value until you get your questions 'answered'.

    The truth is, you already answered those questions and decided I'm full of shit, so you think you're going to have some fun and play this little game. Anyone with a critical mind will see that you aren't playing it very well.

    Edit: And for the record, it wasn't made. It was from personal life experience. If it's bullshit and made up, then I must also be lying to myself.
    Oh, so your analysis of my motives and the implied strategical advantage I take in playing games are from your personal life experience? I was referring to your answer to my question (and that whole post), idiot. Not what you wrote previously. And yes, you're stupid. Otherwise you wouldn't make such erroneous misinterpretations and baseless insults.
    Last edited by Park; 01-15-2011 at 01:57 PM.
    “Whether we fall by ambition, blood, or lust, like diamonds we are cut with our own dust.”

    Quote Originally Posted by Gilly
    You've done yourself a huge favor developmentally by mustering the balls to do something really fucking scary... in about the most vulnerable situation possible.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Parkster View Post
    Oh, so your analysis of my motives and the implied strategical advantage I take in playing games are from your personal life experience? I was referring to your answer to my question (and that whole post), idiot. Not what you wrote previously. And yes, you're stupid. Otherwise you wouldn't make such erroneous misinterpretations and baseless insults.
    You still don't care to know about the validity of my answer and prefer to be argumentative.

    Thanks for playing along. I had an inclination that you were misrepresenting the theory.

    You sir are no SLI. Consider this a gift. Judging from this exchange and the behavior you've displayed on the forum when you quarrel with others and how you quarrel with them from your hyper-critical eye, you scream LSI. You truly believe it is another person's responsibility to spell everything out for you and have to convince you before seeing in any kind of accepting vision.

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    Pre-2013 post are written with incomplete understanding.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Milkor View Post
    You still don't care to know about the validity of my answer and prefer to be argumentative.
    What validity? Your answer to the OP was nothing more than just pure common sense that I'm pretty sure most people (including TA) are aware of (without needing to be reminded about), and some logical deductions that "make sense" but are again nothing new to think about; they just fit the subject.

    Then you went ahead to conclude that your "solution" is better than the more "common" ones (which according to you are "completely unhelpful for solving any real problems"), without offering any reason or logical explanation why, and without explaining what your solution is (/consists of).

    Quote Originally Posted by Milkor View Post
    You sir are no SLI. Consider this a gift. Judging from this exchange and the behavior you've displayed on the forum when you quarrel with others and how you quarrel with them from your hyper-critical eye, you scream LSI. You truly believe it is another person's responsibility to spell everything out for you and have to convince you before seeing in any kind of accepting vision.
    Well thank you for the unsolicited type assessment. As for what I believe or don't believe, that is non of your business, nor the subject of this discussion. And you telling me what I believe, is just plain laughable.
    “Whether we fall by ambition, blood, or lust, like diamonds we are cut with our own dust.”

    Quote Originally Posted by Gilly
    You've done yourself a huge favor developmentally by mustering the balls to do something really fucking scary... in about the most vulnerable situation possible.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Parkster View Post
    What validity? Your answer to the OP was nothing more than just pure common sense that I'm pretty sure most people (including TA) are aware of (without needing to be reminded about), and some logical deductions that "make sense" but are again nothing new to think about; they just fit the subject.
    If it was common sense, then why the overly-critical, rather point-deflecting questions? Your position is inconsistent in this matter and still representative of a defamatory stance that one takes in order to show another intellectual disdain. If it was so common and simple there should not have been any need for your mocking approach.

    Then you went ahead to conclude that your "solution" is better than the more "common" ones (which according to you are "completely unhelpful for solving any real problems"), without offering any reason or logical explanation why, and without explaining what your solution is (/consists of).
    No one has offered any kind of solutions, so it is impossible for me to think my solution is better. People have only offered emotional support, which is fine, but it's not what most would exactly call a solution to an individual's problem regarding a state of mind in their own created, yet conscious frustration. I do however think what I have offered is better than emotional support, if that is what you refer to, but they are not in the same league to have an argument over. Although in retrospect I suddenly realize it was that you were in some way offended by this. But it bugs me greatly that you would prefer to waste time over this for seeing someone as arrogant or simple-minded rather than ignore such and be more productive about this; since I dislike having to use ignoring tactics because I find them stifling to open frank discussion (and this is most often what it produces in social situations of large groups of people). If that's how it works though and what must be done, then fine, but it is never something I see much gain in using if there is no reason to.

    Well thank you for the unsolicited type assessment. As for what I believe or don't believe, that is non of your business, nor the subject of this discussion. And you telling me what I believe, is just plain laughable.
    Well this is a socionics forum; and if that assessment bothers you that's too bad since it is only to help understand. I would rather clarify inconsistencies than have others fabricate and support them as is done most often more than not. I truly believe that your relations might indicate an LSI mindset and that you might find this of great value. It is in no way supposed to be a way to distinguish intelligence or produce a non-sequitur. If you believe your relations fit SLI, then so be it, but if that is the case, I would be very interested to hear your thoughts on socionics and your relationships if you would enjoy creating a thread to do such for better understanding. It gets tiring having to play all these games to get points across without being direct about things. I'm sure you understand to some degree.

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