Compliments

[lemon]

From Wikisocion's functions page:

"The Ego functions are mostly indifferent to praise, since it is very hard to tell a person something about these aspects of himself that he didn't already know"

and

"People rarely appreciate direct commentary and analysis of their Super-Ego function behavior... blah blah blah... Outright praise, on the other hand, produces an unexpected self-esteem boost."

I thought it might be interesting if everyone posted different kinds of compliments they get/have gotten before that match up with the descriptions above.

Here's my own example:
when people tell me I look nice or that they like my outfit, I will say thankyou but the truth is that I don't really care.
On the other hand, if somebody tells me that I am funny, or creative/witty, I am like, Oh my god really?? haha.

anyways, I hope you guys like this idea and post

[silverchris9]

I dunno. This depends a lot on situational accidents, doesn't it? 'Cause, like, I identify my writing with Ni, and that's my ego function, right? But if someone tells me they like my writing, that's a big deal to me because it means they see what I see, and it's not all just in my head. That'd be a much bigger complement to me than, "You really stood up for yourself there; you really know how to handle people if they get out of line; good job being the boss there kiddo," or whatever a superid complement would consist of. More than HA too (some complement on how well I figured out something logically, how solid an argument I made is, how well I deduced something, etc).

I don't think I've ever gotten outright praise on something I associate with Te, but that's because I always avoid any and tasks I'm not good at.

[Slacker]

It seems like maybe compliments about either ego block or super-id functions would be most appreciated.

[Sir Knight]

I tend to feel really good when people tell me I'm attractive. If that's IM-related, I don't know, but I always have this perception of myself as a gangly weirdo, so hearing something to the contrary gives me hope that all is not lost for me.

I always tend to feel good to the point of being embarrassed if someone compliments me for helping them.

Also it feels good to have someone extol some talent or skill or facet of my personality that I felt was previously unimportant or deficient. But that's mostly because I don't know what I want right now, so hearing stuff like that kind of "broadens my options" so to speak.

[CILi]

Note: Socionics is turned off for this post. (The following may be completely irrelevant.)

Indifferent
You're smart.
You're nice.
You're interesting.
You're a "good person".

Unexpected Self-Esteem Boost! - Group A
You kinda look okay.
You kinda smell okay.
You're kinda dressed okay.
You kinda turn me on, okay?

Unexpected Self-Esteem Boost! - Group B
You make me smile.
You make me laugh.
You make me cry.
You make me feel [FILL-IN-THE-BLANK with absolutely anything].

[Exodus]

From Wikisocion's functions page:

"The Ego functions are mostly indifferent to praise, since it is very hard to tell a person something about these aspects of himself that he didn't already know"

and

"People rarely appreciate direct commentary and analysis of their Super-Ego function behavior... blah blah blah... Outright praise, on the other hand, produces an unexpected self-esteem boost."

I thought it might be interesting if everyone posted different kinds of compliments they get/have gotten before that match up with the descriptions above.

Here's my own example:
when people tell me I look nice or that they like my outfit, I will say thankyou but the truth is that I don't really care.
On the other hand, if somebody tells me that I am funny, or creative/witty, I am like, Oh my god really?? haha.

anyways, I hope you guys like this idea and post

Aren't you ILE? I'd say the first one is and the second is . Super-id compliments should be appreciated more than super-ego ones.

[Exodus]

Note: Socionics is turned off for this post. (The following may be completely irrelevant.)

Indifferent
You're smart.
You're nice.
You're interesting.
You're a "good person".

Unexpected Self-Esteem Boost! - Group A
You kinda look okay.
You kinda smell okay.
You're kinda dressed okay.
You kinda turn me on, okay?

Unexpected Self-Esteem Boost! - Group B
You make me smile.
You make me laugh.
You make me cry.
You make me feel [FILL-IN-THE-BLANK with absolutely anything].

What if you made this baby cry?

[lemon]

Note: Socionics is turned off for this post. (The following may be completely irrelevant.)

Indifferent
You're smart.
You're nice.
You're interesting.
You're a "good person".

Unexpected Self-Esteem Boost! - Group A
You kinda look okay.
You kinda smell okay.
You're kinda dressed okay.
You kinda turn me on, okay?

Unexpected Self-Esteem Boost! - Group B
You make me smile.
You make me laugh.
You make me cry.
You make me feel [FILL-IN-THE-BLANK with absolutely anything].

this is interesting to me. I don't know if it'd be very easy to relate any of what people have posted here to socionics, but it is still interesting to learn what different people like to hear.

Aren't you ILE? I'd say the first one is and the second is . Super-id compliments should be appreciated more than super-ego ones.

ehh I still don't really know what my type is. To go more into detail.. I like compliments from people regarding basically anything to do with me being an enjoyable person to be around, or "fun" I guess. but I feel embarrassed admitting it, because it makes me seem like I am dependent on others opinion of me. But yeah "you're a really fun person to hang out with!" is always a self esteem boost for me. what element would that be related to, if any?

[FDG]

I like ego strokes of any kind.

[squark]

I like ego strokes of any kind.

^ This. I like 'em all.


. . . but to get all socionic, here's some ideas:

Leading fxn: you take it for granted, and are pleasantly surprised when someone likes it.

Creative: useful tool, you don't mind someone noticing your abilities here, but you don't seek out praise.

Role: you think you're supposed to be good at this, but you fuck it up a lot, so if someone thinks you're good at it, you secretly wonder if they're retarded, or you think "crap, now I have to keep pretending to be good at this, shit, what if I get found out?" You'd rather just drop the whole thing.

poLr: you know people who think you're good at this are retarded, and you wonder why they even care.

hidden agenda: you'd like to be good at this, but you're shakier in it than you realize. When someone praises you, you get kind of smug and self-satisfied. You think, "Oh yeah, I'm awesome" but you're really not.

Dual-seeking: If you manage to do something that warrants praise here, you get all happy, "Hey yeah, check THAT out, see what I did there!" !

that fxn that's the opposite of your creative: you can do this, but you don't want to, and you don't want anyone to notice it either. praise here just seems shallow and pointless.

fxn opposite of your leading: you can do this too, easily, and don't understand why anyone thinks it's a big deal.

[pianosinger]

Compliments I like to hear:
"You're a good friend."
"Wow! I never would have thought of that!"
"That outfit really suits you"/"I love your outfit"/that sort of thing.

Compliments that embarrass me (in that, I have a hard time acknowledging them without coming across as seeming prideful, as the compliments are directed towards things that come so naturally to me I can hardly help being good at them):
"You have a beautiful voice."
"You are so talented!"
"You are so creative."

Compliments I would LOVE to hear but rarely (if ever) do:
"That was a very well-put and well-thought-out argument."
"You are so quick and witty!"

And one other I've been hearing a lot lately that is driving me nuts: "Wow, look at you! You're looking good! You've gotten so thin!" Really...I wonder sometimes if acquaintances wonder if I'm anorexic or something, but I really have done nothing intentional to lose weight, it's just the result of two pregnancies and breastfeeding with oversupply, generally becoming more active and more aware of what's healthy and what's not...Otherwise, I would gladly eat like a pig if my body would allow it.

But the consequence of all that weight loss? Gallstones. Had my gallbladder removed, was doing well for a year, and now I have stones again! Yeah, anyone who envies me for being so "skinny" should try going through what I've been through these last two months.

[Aleksei]

I think compliments are more Enneagram-related. Instinct types are probably least sensitive to compliments of any kind, and Image types are most responsive to compliments of any kind. Myself I greatly enjoy compliments of any kind, even in aspects I already feel secure about. For the purposes of this discussion though:

Compliments likely to elicit a "yeah I know" response from me: Compliments on my intelligence and creativity.
Compliments likely to actually result in a self-esteem boost: Compliments on my achievements, my looks (probably NTR), or my sense of humor.

[EyeSeeCold]

I really don't know...maybe you just have to catch me off guard while being sincere.

That I'm useful or lovable/desireable, something along the lines of that.

[pianosinger]

That I'm useful or lovable/desireable, something along the lines of that.

Sounds like my ILI, too...

[DirectorAbbie]

Note: Socionics is turned off for this post. (The following may be completely irrelevant.)

Indifferent
You're smart.
You're nice.
You're interesting.
You're a "good person".

Unexpected Self-Esteem Boost! - Group A
You kinda look okay.
You kinda smell okay.
You're kinda dressed okay.
You kinda turn me on, okay?

Unexpected Self-Esteem Boost! - Group B
You make me smile.
You make me laugh.
You make me cry.
You make me feel [FILL-IN-THE-BLANK with absolutely anything].

You make me smile.



Compliments that I am good at something are fine, but obvious. Compliments that I am the best at something I value.
Compliments from people who are overly friendly are pointless. Compliments from perfectionists are valued.
If someone compliments my , they're stating the obvious.
If someone compliments my , they wish theirs was better.
If someone compliments my , they're probably an SEI.
If someone compliments my , they're lying.
If someone compliments my , they've watched me perform.
If someone compliments my , they're strange.
If someone compliments my , they're unintelligent.
If someone compliments my , they're insane.
The best compliments would probably be "I love being around you," or, "You inspire me."

[Exodus]

ehh I still don't really know what my type is. To go more into detail.. I like compliments from people regarding basically anything to do with me being an enjoyable person to be around, or "fun" I guess. but I feel embarrassed admitting it, because it makes me seem like I am dependent on others opinion of me. But yeah "you're a really fun person to hang out with!" is always a self esteem boost for me. what element would that be related to, if any?

[Trevor]

I enjoy compliments pointed towards my creative functions. Accepting functions - meh.

I wonder does anyone else relate to this?

[pianosinger]

I enjoy compliments pointed towards my creative functions. Accepting functions - meh.

I wonder does anyone else relate to this?

I think so...My producing(creative) functions are Fi, Ti, Te, and Fe. And yes, I would have to say that compliments in those areas would be more valued by me than compliments in Sensing or Intuiting functions.

[pianosinger]

Best thread btw.

This, coming from a recent thread started by me. Can't explain it socionically, but it made me feel good