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Thread: My opinions on types and marriage (relative to myself)

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    Default My opinions on types and marriage (relative to myself)

    INFP: I think a lot of INTJs marry INFPs. In general, benefit relations can work when the partners are different on T/F. It seems like T/F opposition is the defining factor in the success of a marital relationship (as far as the 16 types are concerned, at least).

    I find myself able to interact with INFPs on a lot of levels. No matter their interest, we tend to be able to make a connection some way. In general, this seems to hold true for all Fs: I can click with any F I am attracted to. For any T, there will be a lot of dead air when there is a divergence of interests and hobbies. But I get an overwhelming sense that INFPs don't want me around, that I'm just this pitiful thing whom they have an obligation to help by granting their attention. "I don't really want to associate with him right now, but I will because he needs my help and I have an ethical obligation to help those in need."

    My beneficiary, ISTP, seems to be a very one-way relationship. This because they can't (won't?) give F like INFP can. However, it's also possible that you have to get very close to an ISTP before they will bare their soul to you.

    ESTJs expect me to work. I think there is some level of relation between the EM type and the IM types of other people, especially in the case of the conflict relation. I don't know that I could ever meet an LSE who actually understood the pressure of dealing with ethical environments. LSEs tend to see me as a lazy guy who doesn't make it a priority to provide for himself: and that's true, in that I try to avoid thinking about such matters as much as possible. I generally think it safer, in practice, to practice strong ethical norms over going to any lengths to provide for oneself, particularly at the expense of those norms. I did that this past Xmas and probably denied myself work opportunities thereby, failing to recognize how supremely unethical the current business situation in the U.S. is.

    I can't seem to get ISFJ attention. They seem generally demanding.

    ESFJs I tend to argue with a lot. A lot of them don't pay attention. Most of them do not respect LIIs, that much I have established. At least, not while young.

    ISTJs tend to want things their way. It's difficult to argue with them.

    INFJs and INTPs I tend to relate to on a collaborative level.

    ESTPs tend find fault with me. Something about me they either don't like, or they find it pathetic.

    ENTJs it's like there is a mutual feeling that we aren't what we are looking for, and if we go too far we will miss out on the opportunity to have it.

    INTJs: these relations actually tend to be pretty close. However they don't seem to extend to sex.

    ENFPs: these relations tend to be analytical. It's as though each partner is scrutinizing the other and judging their fitness to "stay on".

    ISFPs: a lot of these I find unattractive. Of the few I do, I don't really know how far I should "go with it". They tend to be very mellow and I'm not sure how they would react if I tried to push beyond the mellow.

    ESFP: Never dated an ESFP. A lot of them are wild. I don't see what the use is in it if it's doomed no matter what. In general when I resist an ESFP's attempted direction for me, they become quite perturbed by my determination to think for myself.

    ENTP: They try so hard to be nice it's hillarious. I had a friend recently congratulate me "on this day which is the anniversary of your birth". The specter of potential coldness and insensitivity hangs overhead, and there is a sense shared by either partner that the relationship is temporary, one of convenience and personal whim. I know a number of ENTP women who are polyamorous.

    ENFJ: something about these relationship is fantastic, almost flighty. I've come to understand that each Fe ENFJ is characterized by specific emotions. You can normally see these emotions plain on their faces, a sort of sense of the emotion itself. The Ni subtype ENFJs tend to be critical and discriminatory, choosing directly who they associate with or not. If you don't pass their muster, they won't give you the time of day.

    In general, if you can't contribute to the satisfaction of an ENFJ's emotional drive -- their aspiraton to "become" something, they seem not to bother with you. This is very true for Fe ENFJs.
    Last edited by tcaudilllg; 01-10-2011 at 03:51 AM.

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    Care to comment? Or to offer your own experiences?

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    Darn Socks Director Abbie's Avatar
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    I don't want to spend the rest of my life with an extrovert. Or a Beta. That's about it; I don't have much experience.

    Give any thought to Enneagram types or subtypes?

    ESTj
    1w2 sp/so 1-2-6
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    Squishy's Older Sister

    Johari Nohari

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    I don't understand enneagram, and subtype seems to be of lesser importance.

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    wants to be a writer. silverchris9's Avatar
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    I find myself able to interact with INFPs on a lot of levels. No matter their interest, we tend to be able to make a connection some way. In general, this seems to hold true for all Fs: I can click with any F I am attracted to. For any T, there will be a lot of dead air when there is a divergence of interests and hobbies. But I get an overwhelming sense that INFPs don't want me around, that I'm just this pitiful thing whom they have an obligation to help by granting their attention. "I don't really want to associate with him right now, but I will because he needs my help and I have an ethical obligation to help those in need."
    Heh. I actually feel that way sometimes with INTjs. Like... this conversation isn't really interesting enough for me to keep going with it... but it's obvious that INTj so needs a good friend that I feel terrible blowing him/her off... I guess I do tend to see LIIs as somewhat pitiful, largely because they tend to be a bit socially inept (tend to---some are quite adroit). Shrug.
    Not a rule, just a trend.

    IEI. Probably Fe subtype. Pretty sure I'm E4, sexual instinctual type, fairly confident that I'm a 3 wing now, so: IEI-Fe E4w3 sx/so. Considering 3w4 now, but pretty sure that 4 fits the best.

    Yes 'a ma'am that's pretty music...

    I am grateful for the mystery of the soul, because without it, there could be no contemplation, except of the mysteries of divinity, which are far more dangerous to get wrong.

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    Quote Originally Posted by silverchris9 View Post
    Heh. I actually feel that way sometimes with INTjs. Like... this conversation isn't really interesting enough for me to keep going with it... but it's obvious that INTj so needs a good friend that I feel terrible blowing him/her off... I guess I do tend to see LIIs as somewhat pitiful, largely because they tend to be a bit socially inept (tend to---some are quite adroit). Shrug.
    And that's the thing: I don't want to be a burden on someone that way. Though you guys often live such varied lives and have such insights into the way people feel, man I'd be lost without you.

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    wants to be a writer. silverchris9's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by tcaudilllg View Post
    And that's the thing: I don't want to be a burden on someone that way. Though you guys often live such varied lives and have such insights into the way people feel, man I'd be lost without you.
    . I'm sorry. IEIs just have trouble being stimulated by people without Se in their egos. I'm sure there's a good way to get good people insights without IEIs. Alternative, find an IEI with frequent quality access to an SLE or five. They'll be so overstimulated with Se that they'll be cool with a few conversations without it (although they may start trying to give you Se-flavored advice that you probably won't like. But they'll still do the people-insight thing for you so...)
    Not a rule, just a trend.

    IEI. Probably Fe subtype. Pretty sure I'm E4, sexual instinctual type, fairly confident that I'm a 3 wing now, so: IEI-Fe E4w3 sx/so. Considering 3w4 now, but pretty sure that 4 fits the best.

    Yes 'a ma'am that's pretty music...

    I am grateful for the mystery of the soul, because without it, there could be no contemplation, except of the mysteries of divinity, which are far more dangerous to get wrong.

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    So, why are we talking MBTI, here?

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    I tend to agree with most of your descriptions (with everything shifted to the appropriate types for IEI). They describe my experiences with each of the 16 relations quite well. I guess it helps that most of the descriptions are quite non-specific. I can highlight/bold etc. if you like?

    Quote Originally Posted by tcaudilllg View Post
    he needs my help and I have an ethical obligation to help those in need."
    I don't think IEIs think in those terms, or at least I don't. It's more like, "I'll feel guilty if I don't, since I can see myself in a similar situation, and I know how it feels," or "I don't know how/when to say no". I suppose it could be construed as a ethical obligation. This only seems to apply in physical space - I guess I find it difficult to get away from people of any type in person.

    Quote Originally Posted by tcaudilllg View Post
    "on this day which is the anniversary of your birth"
    That sounds like an ILE attempt at a joke.

    Quote Originally Posted by silverchris9 View Post
    Heh. I actually feel that way sometimes with INTjs. Like... this conversation isn't really interesting enough for me to keep going with it... but it's obvious that INTj so needs a good friend that I feel terrible blowing him/her off... I guess I do tend to see LIIs as somewhat pitiful, largely because they tend to be a bit socially inept (tend to---some are quite adroit). Shrug.
    Same. I pity-"dated" at least one. Never again! It wasn't fair to anyone involved.

    Quote Originally Posted by silverchris9 View Post
    . I'm sorry. IEIs just have trouble being stimulated by people without Se in their egos. I'm sure there's a good way to get good people insights without IEIs. Alternative, find an IEI with frequent quality access to an SLE or five. They'll be so overstimulated with Se that they'll be cool with a few conversations without it (although they may start trying to give you Se-flavored advice that you probably won't like. But they'll still do the people-insight thing for you so...)
    Yeah, good advice - just don't marry one? It could lead to resentment, one-way relationships tend that way.
    Quote Originally Posted by Agee The Great View Post
    Nobody here...besides me, seems to know what SLE is except for maybe Maritsa.

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