Last edited by aixelsyd; 08-12-2011 at 05:58 AM.
Life's a bitch and she's got me pussy whipped.
They state the logical point and then be quiet (because they know the more they talk, the more emotional the other person will get, or the more the waters will muddy), or make their subjective feelings about it known but don't press it, kind of fade in the distance. Well, this is sometimes different from what I do when I'm sort of frustrated, sometimes I just want someone's attention so I go a little overboard on how I feel, but I'm careful in doing this, I do it around people I'm extremely close to, and its rare.
It doesn't always work, since I'm pretty laid back and not really pushy about anything... I guess I'm better at standing my ground when I need to, and my only way I can do this really is detach completely from the situation, or else I have to go along with it. Go-with-the-flow is always on around people, so the trick is to detach, which I can easily do too. It just depends on the person.
Depends on my goal, mostly. I usually go along with it unless there's an obvious trump card, or unless I actually care one way or the other.
If I'm genuinely pissed, I leave. Once that happens, there is no emotional control, and unless I simply want to convey my personal sentiments on the matter, I've pretty much 'lost'. Fortunately these instances usually are instances where I just want to convey my sentiments.
In which case it's simply fiery and 'unnecessarily' emotional language.
My life's work (haha):
Input, PLEASEAnd thank you
lol. I have good friend whose an ILI who currently has issues with a roommate being too much a of a douche (who actually is being a douche, and very passive-aggressive with pissy refrigerator messages, swearing in texts messages, about really stupid things). I dunno, my friend says he's tried confronting his roommate to no avail. I just think he's being to passive. I keep telling him he needs to put his foot down and tell him to discuss problem in person or shut the fuck up. But that involves to much swearing for my friend. Instead my ILI friend wants to kill him .... O.o ...
I N T J BIATCH!
Just have him show the roommate that he can do the passive-aggressive thing for longer, more creatively, and more cruelly than he can.
OR just... do what you were going to do. Just... talking to the guy might work.
You don't understand ILI if you think this will work. ILIs see life in ultimatums when it comes to real confrontation. He knows once he brings it up with the guy it will be a battle of wills, because he let it go on for so long. The guy doesn't respect him anymore.
This is why SEE is such a good partner as a diplomat because it's really not that serious. But ILIs allow themselves to reach that point because it's the path of least resistance.
The only solution is for him to get real - real soon. And for him to be relentless. A physical fight may ensue.
Whatever the case, it makes sense.
In my experience it's a Fi defense backed up by Ni. They will start telling you about what is important to them which is usually based on their own personal sentiments (Fi). Then say that they don't want to waste their time on you any longer (Ni). Then they go away and start avoiding. It usually takes them some time to recover their cool back. If they are confronting and not defending then it is Te-Se. They may tell you what is logical to do, call you moronic for not doing it, sometimes raise their voice a notch.
You know, now that I think about it, I'm reminded of your fighting styles thread, that Ni-types prefer to focus on singular, distant targets. Would you say this kind of behaviour is broadly applicable to all Ni-types? Like, a general passivity that continues until some breaking point that forces the Ni-type to consider the person the current "target" and focus all of their energy on dealing with it?
When I "explode" I tend to be rather vulgar, with sharp wit and deft sarcasm. I start using these things to make my point. When it is done to humorous effect, it can sometimes cripple my opponents. Comedy is a great disarmer. I also use it (sometimes without noticing) when I am very upset about something and I'm just venting to someone.
Like I said, the real explosion is physical aggression. Everyone throws words now and then, even ILIs if you are persistent enough in your annoyance and ignorance.
SEEs are the same way.The angriest I can remember was one who took something I said the wrong way and more or less told me to kill myself...well, jump off a bridge, but close enough. She kinda just said it and walked away. I dunno. Most seem willing to let people push them around to avoid conflict. I never understood it how they could do that when such strain was being put on them and yet never speaking up that they were undergoing a great burden. I guess it's why I try hard to never make undue demands on people, especially ILIs, since they are usually the sort of people who won't communicate their needs as often as they should so I end up giving them advice on how to explain themselves in a tactful way.
I don't try to put burdens on people for the same reason. lol. Is that the Gamma approach to life, lessening others' burdens but increasing your own?