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Thread: the Creative function as pseudo-dual-seeking

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    Default the Creative function as pseudo-dual-seeking

    I've been realizing something about my Creative function lately, and that is that it almost seems like another Dual-Seeking function, in a way.

    Case One:I truly value Fi, and I am also strong in Fi. I value my relationships, and I can put a good deal of effort into initiating a new friendship. But, once that friendship is secured, I often find myself starting to take advantage of the fact that X and I are friends, and I forget to make a conscious effort to maintain that friendship.

    Like, when I was in school I would see my friends at school and we would all hang out together at lunch and recess and such. But unless one of them suggested getting together to do something outside of school, I rarely saw them otherwise.

    I am still the same way. Oh, once in a while I'll actually manage to invite a friend or two to an event that I have planned. But usually, I just find myself responding to their plans, yk? idk, it's almost like I just don't want to appear too...needy by constantly asking my friends to do things with me. Also, I am a busy mother of two little boys; and most of friends are busy mothers as well.

    I am a terrible correspondent. When I graduated from high school, I parted from my friends with good intentions to keep in touch, but it didn't last more than a year. Now every time I go back to visit my hometown, I try to get back together with at least one old friend. But, I can't be pushy about it, so sometimes it doesn't happen.

    But, I strongly admire people like my mom (ESI) and my mother-in-law (EII), both Fi-Base types, who make it seem so effortless to maintain all their various friendships, and to keep up with all the news of "what's new" in people's lives, while I am often clueless on these things until I learn it from someone else. But neither of them is a "busybody," either; they obviously genuinely care about people.

    Case Two:
    It is screamingly clear to me that my son (SLE), requires a lot of consistency. This makes sense, since his Creative function is Ti, and without consitency in his life he cannot feel truly liberated to exercise his Base Se-- or at least, he will not be able to do so constructively. This has been a big struggle for me, since Ti-Consistency is obviously not my strong suit. But I try.

    Case Three:
    My ILI husband is Creative Te. Much of the time, this is manifested by him wanting to constantly learn more about things; he is a perpetual student at heart. He researches endlessly before he comes to any major decision; this also has something to do with his Base Ni, I think, wanting to make sure he can see clearly beforehand how a certain path will unfold.

    But in order for him to be able to spend more time with Ni, wouldn't it be handy for him to have someone else available to do all the research? Even though he is perfectly good at and capable of doing it himself.

    In Summation:
    This is why Supervisors love their Supervisees, whose Base function is the Supervisor's Creative function. But of course, the Supervisor does not provide the same for the Supervisee, which is how the Supervisee eventually comes to feel like they're being taken advantage of without receiving anything in return.

    This is why a Mirror relationship is so much healthier, and advantageous to both parties. But also why a Mirror realtion is less satisfactory in the long run than Dual, because each partner's true dual-seeking functions are largely neglected.
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    Just had another thought related to all this. Maybe the reason people are sometimes mistyped as their Duals as that we tend to put a lot of effort into our Suggestive and HA functions (especially when lacking an external source of duality), perhaps even to the point of neglecting our Ego functions-- particularly the Creative function.

    So, for instance, someone might think they're a Te-Ego, when really they're Fi-Creative and Te-HA. Or Se-Ego when really they're Ni-Creative and Se-HA. And so forth.
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    Quote Originally Posted by EyeSeeCold View Post
    I'm not sure if this has been brought up before or it is already widely known, but I think dual seeking is more than just the Suggestive/Leading function.

    What I've noticed is that SEEs and IEEs have caught my attention by speaking outloud on subjects they have not fully grasped. I become aware of their attempt to appear knowledgeable and thus I become attracted to them.

    I think a person's HA acts as sort of a beacon for the creative function of the person's Illusionary/Mirage and Dual.

    This would mean that there are at least three types a person can attract by being himself. All you have to do is speak up.
    I'm surprised there aren't more threads on this. I think the Russians call it "programming".
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    Quote Originally Posted by pianosinger View Post
    Like, when I was in school I would see my friends at school and we would all hang out together at lunch and recess and such. But unless one of them suggested getting together to do something outside of school, I rarely saw them otherwise.
    Quote Originally Posted by Mr Thou View Post
    I relate to this very much. I think it's my friends who are actually weak in Fi who do a better job than I do in getting together and making plans. I just respond to things and rarely initiate anything (but I let people know that I am open for contact in their own time at their own convenience...to a point, naturally). And for me, it's because I don't want to impose myself and be seen as needy. I am probably Fi creative (as everything Aleksei said makes a lot of sense to me). It's an interesting thing you noticed.
    What happened to extroverts initiating? Not saying either of you isn't extroverted, but all I've heard of xEEs so far was the opposite of it. xLI aren't the ones to initiate, especially anything of a social kind. This responsive attitude seems more of an Ip thing, to be honest.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Aiss View Post
    What happened to extroverts initiating? Not saying either of you isn't extroverted, but all I've heard of xEEs so far was the opposite of it. xLI aren't the ones to initiate, especially anything of a social kind. This responsive attitude seems more of an Ip thing, to be honest.
    I suppose it depends on what it means to "initiate." I am really good at going out and meeting new people, making new friends. It's the maintenance end I'm not so good at. Oh, if it's a relationship that I feel very strongly about keeping (like when I met my husband), I will make every effort imaginable; but, when it comes to more...casual friendships, I am definitely more responsive rather than initiating.

    Blame it on Base Ne...my SEE sister is much better about asserting herself socially than I am. She does the visible Fi thing much better than I ever did.

    Not to say I am not constant and faithful to my friends...I consider myself very loyal and attached to the friends I have; it just may not seem like it to the outside observer. But if I knew a friend of mine were in need, I would do everything in my power to be there and to be a help and support. And I have done just that for my friends time and time again. it's just...well, I guess I appreciate being told when they need me or want to spend time with me, rather than me having to be the "needy" one. Though, to be fair, when I sense a need that is not verbalized, I can and will be more initiating if it's a friendship that really matters to me.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Aiss View Post
    What happened to extroverts initiating? Not saying either of you isn't extroverted, but all I've heard of xEEs so far was the opposite of it. xLI aren't the ones to initiate, especially anything of a social kind. This responsive attitude seems more of an Ip thing, to be honest.
    Logical types initiate the interest and Ethical types initiate the relationship.
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    Quote Originally Posted by pianosinger View Post
    I suppose it depends on what it means to "initiate." I am really good at going out and meeting new people, making new friends. It's the maintenance end I'm not so good at. Oh, if it's a relationship that I feel very strongly about keeping (like when I met my husband), I will make every effort imaginable; but, when it comes to more...casual friendships, I am definitely more responsive rather than initiating.

    (...)

    Though, to be fair, when I sense a need that is not verbalized, I can and will be more initiating if it's a friendship that really matters to me.
    Actually the way you describe it now makes far more sense. I sort of assumed if you called it "friendship", it did really matter by definition, but I guess it isn't so obvious in English (considering people here rarely use other words to distinguish between people who are "real" friends and those they just hang out with). Putting effort into what isn't "real" friendship would be useless and possibly misleading.

    @Mr Thou: I get what you're saying but initiating is hardly the same as carrying on regardless of the response, nor did I ever use it in this meaning. xLIs need to be sure of their ground in a relationship (be it friendship or a romantic one) to initiate, and so don't really get there by their own initiative.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Aiss View Post
    xLIs need to be sure of their ground in a relationship (be it friendship or a romantic one) to initiate, and so don't really get there by their own initiative.
    This was certainly the case with my ILI. It took a whole lot of "hinting" from me before he finally got the idea to ask me out...He had to be pretty certain of my interest before he felt comfortable going out on that limb; but once he did, I knew his interest was also sincere.
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