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Thread: Fi ignoring, is this how it fits for others??

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    ladyinred's Avatar
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    Default Fi ignoring, is this how it fits for others??

    i find myself sometimes, okay frequently, altering my behavior and even my tiniest most subtle mannerisms to best appeal to whomever i am interacting with at the time..

    this extends to dating and relationships, it took me until i was 22 or so to realize i needed to figure out exacttly what i wanted in a man instead of adapting to any man i happened to like and find myself with. instead i used to adapt my reactions and actions, i did it well but eventually these fell apart when i decided i wouldnt, do that any more.. its like i wanted the Fe response from them, a pleasant passionate Fe interaction, and Fi be damned. is this familiar to other EXEs, maybe to EIEs specially??
    Last edited by ladyinred; 12-18-2010 at 04:33 PM.

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    Hiding Typhon's Avatar
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    Well, I look for an FE response in others and can be a bit annoyed by an Fi one, Ie lack of response. Thats what I call an Fi response, but I think it would be better called a lack of Ni response since Ni is about reactions to a large extent. It annoys me when a person doesnt use Fe or Ni in response to me I guess is what Im saying. But Fi to me isnt much worse to me. Its Ne that annoys me.

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    ladyinred's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Typhon View Post
    Well, I look for an FE response in others and can be a bit annoyed by an Fi one, Ie lack of response. Thats what I call an Fi response, but I think it would be better called a lack of Ni response since Ni is about reactions to a large extent. It annoys me when a person doesnt use Fe or Ni in response to me I guess is what Im saying. But Fi to me isnt much worse to me. Its Ne that annoys me.
    YESS!!!!

    i HATE when i am friendly with someone, especially like go out of my way to be friendly or welcoming, and they dont respond or barely respond at all. it makes me feel rejected by them, or like they are weary of my friendliness or something, and then i dont know what to think of them, i just feel uncertain and not happy about it

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    Hiding Typhon's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ladyinred View Post
    YESS!!!!

    i HATE when i am friendly with someone, especially like go out of my way to be friendly or welcoming, and they dont respond or barely respond at all. it makes me feel rejected by them, or like they are weary of my friendliness or something, and then i dont know what to think of them, i just feel uncertain and not happy about it
    yeah I know exatcly what you mean. I dont get people like that since for me its easy to respond to someone emotionally, maybe it isnt for everyone else except us and ESEs though i kinda doubt it. Some people are just assholes haha.

    Also I find that I need approval from others when interacting with them like Ill just seek their approval and try to do and say what they expect as "right" from me.

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    Sir Knight's Avatar
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    With Fe base types, they are entirely focused on the implicit emotional dynamic that exists in peoples actions and interactions. They focus on manipulating or maintaining this in order to create mood that they would like to see. Most often this means upholding a positive, friendly, and fun atmosphere. While doing this they are aware of the bonds they are creating with others, and they enjoy creating these bonds with others. However, if they have to deal with being around people they dislike or if personal boundaries are crossed, they can easily overlook these personal fouls in the name of maintaining an atmosphere. They may even ignore the fact that they dislike someone if they see that person as fun to be around and contributing to interpersonal dynamics, and they will continue to put themselves in a position where they are around the person(i.e. invite them to parties, etc).
    Posted by Azeroffs. Would you say that fits?
    4w5 sp/sx

    Please, direct all questioning of my self-typing to this thread. Thank you.

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    Bananas are good. Aleksei's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ladyinred View Post
    i find myself sometimes, okay frequently, altering my behavior and even my tiniest most subtle mannerisms to best appeal to whomever i am interacting with at the time..
    Absolutely. I actually find myself doing this almost unconsciously. My IEI best friend seems to do it deliberately, in order to fit in and manipulate others into doing what he wants.
    What do these signs mean—, , etc.? Why cannot socionists use symbols Ne, Ni etc. as in MBTI? Just because they have somewhat different meaning. Socionics and MBTI, each in its own way, have slightly modified the original Jung's description of his 8 psychological types. For this reason, (Ne) is not exactly the same as Ne in MBTI.

    Just one example: in MBTI, Se (extraverted sensing) is associated with life pleasures, excitement etc. By contrast, the socionic function (extraverted sensing) is first and foremost associated with control and expansion of personal space (which sometimes can manifest in excessive aagression, but often also manifests in a capability of managing lots of people and things).

    For this reason, we consider comparison between MBTI types and socionic types by functions to be rather useless than useful.

    -Victor Gulenko, Dmitri Lytov

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    redbaron's Avatar
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    I alter and adjust myself FAR too much for my own good. Yes.

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    Breaking stereotypes Suz's Avatar
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    can u guys give some examples of such scenarios? I'm not sure i totally understand...
    Enneagram: 9w1 6w5 2w3 so/sx

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    I catch myself doing this sometimes -- it's not so much becoming a different person so much as it's emphasizing different aspects of one's self to fit into different contexts. I always feel guilty when I catch myself doing this, but the truth is that everyone does it to some extent.

    An extreme example is the way you use a different tone when you're talking to your boss vs. a close friend -- it's the same kind of discrepancy in self-expression, except it doesn't necessarily stem from the external context of the interaction as much as an awareness of the specific individual(s) you're talking to...if that makes any sense.

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    Coldest of the Socion EyeSeeCold's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ladyinred View Post
    i find myself sometimes, okay frequently, altering my behavior and even my tiniest most subtle mannerisms to best appeal to whomever i am interacting with at the time..?
    Fe related? If you are engaging I can be whoever you want me to be. I'm Fe PoLR.

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    I think everyone is guilty of doing this.

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    Breaking stereotypes Suz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by limNol View Post
    I catch myself doing this sometimes -- it's not so much becoming a different person so much as it's emphasizing different aspects of one's self to fit into different contexts. I always feel guilty when I catch myself doing this, but the truth is that everyone does it to some extent.

    An extreme example is the way you use a different tone when you're talking to your boss vs. a close friend -- it's the same kind of discrepancy in self-expression, except it doesn't necessarily stem from the external context of the interaction as much as an awareness of the specific individual(s) you're talking to...if that makes any sense.
    yeah i think everyone does this. I feel if anything it reflects differing Fi distances rather than Fe.
    Enneagram: 9w1 6w5 2w3 so/sx

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    limNol's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by WorkaholicsAnon View Post
    yeah i think everyone does this. I feel if anything it reflects differing Fi distances rather than Fe.
    Yeah, everyone does this, but I think different types might do it for different reasons. Fi types probably do it as a way of reflecting and establishing a certain relationship, whereas Fe types might do it more for the sake of maintaining a particular 'emotional atmosphere.'

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    Bananas are good. Aleksei's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by jessica129 View Post
    I think everyone is guilty of doing this.
    Quote Originally Posted by WorkaholicsAnon View Post
    yeah i think everyone does this. I feel if anything it reflects differing Fi distances rather than Fe.
    Quote Originally Posted by limNol View Post
    Yeah, everyone does this, but I think different types might do it for different reasons. Fi types probably do it as a way of reflecting and establishing a certain relationship, whereas Fe types might do it more for the sake of maintaining a particular 'emotional atmosphere.'
    Hmmm, no, I actually think this is more the purview of Ethical types. Logical types I think would tend to be more gruff and less comfortable with modifying their behavior to create a certain emotional impact.

    Any type can bullshit to make a good impression on others though.
    What do these signs mean—, , etc.? Why cannot socionists use symbols Ne, Ni etc. as in MBTI? Just because they have somewhat different meaning. Socionics and MBTI, each in its own way, have slightly modified the original Jung's description of his 8 psychological types. For this reason, (Ne) is not exactly the same as Ne in MBTI.

    Just one example: in MBTI, Se (extraverted sensing) is associated with life pleasures, excitement etc. By contrast, the socionic function (extraverted sensing) is first and foremost associated with control and expansion of personal space (which sometimes can manifest in excessive aagression, but often also manifests in a capability of managing lots of people and things).

    For this reason, we consider comparison between MBTI types and socionic types by functions to be rather useless than useful.

    -Victor Gulenko, Dmitri Lytov

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    lump's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Aleksei View Post
    Hmmm, no, I actually think this is more the purview of Ethical types. Logical types I think would tend to be more gruff and less comfortable with modifying their behavior to create a certain emotional impact.

    Any type can bullshit to make a good impression on others though.
    nah, i think even logical types behave differently towards their lover than they do towards their boss.

    for those of you who say you do it, i wonder how conscious it is for you. it's not something i think about doing, and when somebody comments about something like, "your voice sounds different when you're on the phone with so-and-so" it takes me by surprise because i hadn't even noticed.

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    It's an automatic thing for me, too, but more and more I'm trying to be conscious of it. I realized that people who knew me in different capacities sometimes had completely different conceptions of me, and somewhere along the way the "real me" was getting lost in translation.

    edit- In terms of ethical vs. logical types, I think it's a continuum. Everyone does it to different extents, but ethical types are more to one side of the continuum than logical types.

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    Bananas are good. Aleksei's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by laghlagh View Post
    nah, i think even logical types behave differently towards their lover than they do towards their boss.
    Clearly, but it'd be harder for them. Logical types (IxTx's especially) I find, tend to be somewhat Spock-like and need some help letting loose. That's why they need us Ethicals.
    What do these signs mean—, , etc.? Why cannot socionists use symbols Ne, Ni etc. as in MBTI? Just because they have somewhat different meaning. Socionics and MBTI, each in its own way, have slightly modified the original Jung's description of his 8 psychological types. For this reason, (Ne) is not exactly the same as Ne in MBTI.

    Just one example: in MBTI, Se (extraverted sensing) is associated with life pleasures, excitement etc. By contrast, the socionic function (extraverted sensing) is first and foremost associated with control and expansion of personal space (which sometimes can manifest in excessive aagression, but often also manifests in a capability of managing lots of people and things).

    For this reason, we consider comparison between MBTI types and socionic types by functions to be rather useless than useful.

    -Victor Gulenko, Dmitri Lytov

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    Errrr, I do that unconsciously and all the time.

    Quote Originally Posted by limNol View Post
    Yeah, everyone does this, but I think different types might do it for different reasons. Fi types probably do it as a way of reflecting and establishing a certain relationship, whereas Fe types might do it more for the sake of maintaining a particular 'emotional atmosphere.'
    THAT I can agree with.

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    Glorious Member mu4's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by laghlagh View Post
    nah, i think even logical types behave differently towards their lover than they do towards their boss.
    I'm actually more likely to alter my behavior temporarily for a business reason then for a lover. If someone like that doesn't like me for who I am then what's the point? A lover is going to get me more like myself when I'm alone then anyone else.

    This is not to say that I won't do certain things in order to attain/maintain a relationship that I find necessary but the moment I feel the alteration is untenable or not worth the emotional rewards, it's over.

    Fundamentally I'm looking for someone who likes me for who I am, since I feel I'm pretty cool already.

    I might ask someone to do something for me, but I would never ask anyone to be someone for me and this is what I want in return. I tend to eventually grow apart from people that tried to be what I wanted but was just putting on a facade.

    However, I do happen to behave differently with people I care about such as caring about them.

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