Create Yourself: what do you want yourself to be like?

[UDP]

Socionics tends to get us to think in a sense that is ...... "well what does socionics say?" - that is, trying to create explanations or reasoning for what we observe in ourselves and others.

Let's flip it around and think about what we want ourselves to be like. I doubt it will happen, but, I encourage you to not use socionics terminology at all here. Rather, think about the kind of person you want to be, regardless of what theories about how you ought to act 'say' or 'predict'.

I think this would be more beneficial to think about in terms of something you could actually become - as in "I will be someone who has a firm grasp of their finances" or "I'm someone who brings positivity to other people by helping them relate better with others", or whatever - - rather than "I want to be able to fly through the air!"


I have no idea how this will go. Maybe it should be something like, when you realize something that you'd like to get better at or a way to expand as a person, say it here.



Here's an example from my life:
I want to be someone who masters my expenditure of personal resources - like time and energy. There are a lot of old habits and old ways of doing things that I'm used to, but, I want to change those into things that really bring me fulfillment or benefit. I want to be someone who's actions are a reflection of conscious choice rather than being caught up in the tides of whatever the norm is around me.

[UDP]

Even more specifically, I want to be someone who makes specific choices about what kind of food I eat. I don't like a lot of foods that I get elsewhere - and it's not worth the convenience or the money spent, at this point.

... so related to the above post, I want to be someone who actually made that change in my life, that choice. Because it's what I wanted to do.

[pianosinger]

I want to be a more patient person, with everyone, but especially with my family. I want to be able to speak out with more witty, but tasteful, comments in the moment when they are appropriate, rather than think of all my witticisms too late. I want to be funny, but in a wry-humor-ish sort of way. I want to improve my efficiency in the way I do things, to capitalize on all my resources. I want to be the kind of person that people can feel free to be frank with. I want to finish all the projects I start for a change.

ETA: missed this--

I think this would be more beneficial to think about in terms of something you could actually become

Forget the "witty comments" part. Yeah, that'll never really happen...

[UDP]

ETA: missed this--

Forget the "witty comments" part. Yeah, that'll never really happen...

Oh bullshit. This is not the time to doubt yourself or be overmodest. Say what you want. "Being witty" is not unattainable.

Doubting that you could be is clearly your first step towards getting there.





....... that's pretty funny. If you don't know why, reread what I just wrote.
Anyway - Removing any doubt that you could be is clearly your first step towards getting there.

[Cyrano]

I'd like to be better at anticipating future events. The ST thing causes me to see what's in front of me, but gives me a blind spot in seeing how future events and personal interactions will unfold. When you can't see the train until you hear the whistle blowin', it's too late.

[UDP]

I'd like to be better at anticipating future events. The ST thing causes me to see what's in front of me, but give me a blind spot in seeing how future events and personal interactions will unfold. When you can't see the train until you hear the whistle blowin', it's too late.

It almost strikes me as 'having wants' in regard to what the future will look like, rather than any actual sort of prediction.

I honestly don't find anyone's intuition as 'accurate' or 'prophetic', it's more like "here's what I think / hope might happen".


By the way, getting with a delta NF sure works on that long term thing. It's actually really nice. Sometimes their plans and visions are off because they aren't addressing some part of reality, but, someone who generates long term plans like that or can 'see' so much into the future, it's nice. It's interesting in actually comprehending that some people 'function' by trying to have visions, rather than looking at what is going on around them.

[EyeSeeCold]

I wish I acted more on my impulses and plans. I feel like I don't have a right to impose my will on other people, which although well-meaning, borders on the unhealthy side. It manifests as me not speaking up in instances such as asking someone out or saying "hello" to friends. I also tend to delay plans because either I already have an idea of what it will be like or I feel mentally exhausted.

I wish I had more confidence as a member of society. I also wish I could utilize my mental, spiritual and physical strengths more to help people help themselves.

I wish I was able to adequately seek out and maintain friendships and especially deepen them.

I wish I got out more.

[DirectorAbbie]

Who can find a virtuous wife?
For her worth is far above rubies.
The heart of her husband safely trusts her;
So he will have no lack of gain.
She does him good and not evil
All the days of her life.
She seeks wool and flax,
And willingly works with her hands.
She is like the merchant ships,
She brings her food from afar.
She also rises while it is yet night,
And provides food for her household,
And a portion for her maidservants.
She considers a field and buys it;
From her profits she plants a vineyard.
She girds herself with strength,
And strengthens her arms.
She perceives that her merchandise is good,
And her lamp does not go out by night.
She stretches out her hands to the distaff,
And her hand holds the spindle.
She extends her hand to the poor,
Yes, she reaches out her hands to the needy.
She is not afraid of snow for her household,
For all her household is clothed with scarlet.
She makes tapestry for herself;
Her clothing is fine linen and purple.
Her husband is known in the gates,
When he sits among the elders of the land.
She makes linen garments and sells them,
And supplies sashes for the merchants.
Strength and honor are her clothing;
She shall rejoice in time to come.
She opens her mouth with wisdom,
And on her tongue is the law of kindness.
She watches over the ways of her household,
And does not eat the bread of idleness.
Her children rise up and call her blessed;
Her husband also, and he praises her:
“Many daughters have done well,
But you excel them all.”
Charm is deceitful and beauty is passing,
But a woman who fears the LORD, she shall be praised.
Give her of the fruit of her hands,
And let her own works praise her in the gates.

[Lobo]

Tear jerker thread ... I don't know how anyone can share here without being emotionally compromised. I'd rather not share, hehe, but it's a good idea.

[EyeSeeCold]

I don't know how anyone can share here without being emotionally compromised.

It's the internet.

[Lobo]

It's not about sharing deep things, but getting in the mood to do so. That's what I meant.

[force my hand]

I'd like to be more emotionally stable so as to better deal with the ups and downs of everyday life, always keeping in mind some objective, external focus of steadfast determination. If there's adversity, it will just roll off my back as I push my way through completely unaffected.

I'd like to be the person about whom everyone says, "nothing ever gets under his skin. Tell him, ask him, he'll know what to do, he'll take care of it." That solid figure who takes cares of his friends and family and can be trusted absolutely.

I'd like to be able to walk around with the constantly feeling and recognition that I am always and completely free to make my own choices, the antithesis of being a constant victim of circumstance.

I'd like my body to be a well-honed machine - strong, flexible, quick, enduring, trusted.

I'd like my mind to be able to evaulate any argument, claim, or statement of alleged fact across a wide-variety of disciplines from the sciences to the humanities. A jack-of-all-trades of the mind, wherein the journey is no less satisfying than the destination.

I'd like to express images and emotions through a variety of media - not limited to pencil, painting, film, digital design, and writing - serving to inspire my audience as so many others have inspired me.

I'd also like to be able to enjoy the process and method, realizing that in very few circumstances will I ever reach an 'end', save for my own death!

[squark]

Ryu,

Today I was thinking about my life, and choices that I've made. I want to learn how to decipher gut feelings, what they mean, and when they're warning me. An ability to discern which feelings to trust, and which I can ignore would be really beneficial.

I also want to not bring anyone down with me. I can forget to take into account how my actions will affect other people sometimes. I want to stop forgetting that.

And finally, I want to let go. Just drop all the ideas and planning, and trying, and walk away from the futile. It's against my nature to give up, but there are some things where no amount of pushing or trying will accomplish anything. It's better to leave before I get myself in too deep.

[Cyrano]

Tear jerker thread ... I don't know how anyone can share here without being emotionally compromised. I'd rather not share, hehe, but it's a good idea.

Aw Lobo, It's like making a Christmas wish. Go ahead. It probably won't happen since you usually don't get what you probably shouldn't have.

[ashlesha]

a few.

i'd like to feel brave about taking action or making decisions of my own accord regardless of what anyone else thinks about it.

i'd like to engage in lots of things that bring me learning and/or experience - learning a language, trying a new sport, traveling - interaction with the broader world, more or less.

i'd like to be someone who is genuine and shares themselves with people irl with as much openness as they can do anonymously online. lol. i want to hold my cards a little further out from my vest in order to connect with others more easily.

[Pa3s]

I guess I'd want to feel more connected to other people and also feel less awkward in social/everyday situations. Sometimes it sucks if you sense that people think you're weird. You do something and you can read the face expression of someone else... they don't say anything because they don't want to be rude. But on the inside, they may think "wtf is wrong with him?" or may even laugh about you. I hate this feeling and that's why I somehow gave up and decided not to try to resist that. It's not like a certain situation triggered this development, this had to happen this way, more or less. On the other handside, this is how I am, my personality. I like myself the way I am and I don't want to change just to fit in. This is also something which is preventing me from 'swallowing the pill' and trying to get 'into' the society.

But... if I think about my future life, it sometimes scares me. You don't think about a future in which nobody actually gives a shit about you when you're young. But the older you get the more you realise that you might not find your 'soulmate' if you never talk to some other people or go out and stuff. I could easily go without being in love all the time (not without loving her at all of course), every relationship becomes normal some day, I know that. But if you know that nobody is there or ever will be there is awkward. You may never have a family, you miss a whole lot of your life. So much potential of good (and also bad, for sure) experiences – just wasted. This feels like being 'unable' to me, to fail at life, even if I'd be very successful in my job or would otherwise achieve great things. This seems like total stagnation to me, which is a uncomfortable thought. Most people probably will never think about that in such a manner, but this is a situation I actually have to expect if nothing changes. After all, I don't want to be surprised by that. :wink:

It's the downside of a vicious cycle that it actually never gets better. :wink: If you're not socially integrated, most people probably won't want to get to know you, normally. But if you are, everything somehow comes naturally to you. You don't even have to care much about it. Well, if those results are good is another story. (You may have married the wrong person?) It may even turn your life to a nightmare. But that's life.

[ashlesha]

megadoomer!

<unsolicited advice>
i think the best way to find someone who is good for you is to not let any fear of coming across awkwardly or being seen as weird stop you from being yourself. you don't have to be some kind of gregarious social animal or anything, just let yourself kinda hang out there, and - it cliche as it sounds - the right person will appreciate it and enjoy you, seeing what some might see as weirdness as cute quirkiness, or something (which in a way is something that socionics describes). argh, i guess this sounds like something out of a teen magazine, but i really do think its the truth.
</unsolicited advice>

also, i relate to your first paragraph way more than any "F type" probably "should." so...well, i don't know what to say, but i really feel you.

[Pa3s]

megadoomer!

Well... back to you... I guess. :wink:

You're right, it actually does remind me of the 'Knight in the shining armour' myth. But in my case it would rather be a girl in a shining... uhmm, nevermind.

Thanks for you advice, though.

[squark]

Agreed. Some people will like you for who you are, and it is just my opinion, but I would rather wait a long time to find someone who loves me for who I am, flaws and virtues, and who I also love, flaws and virtues, because they are who they are than to settle for a lie, for second best, whatever. I would rather wait ten, twenty years, or even to be alone to the day of my death (in the sense of mating/partnering) than to be with someone who is not right for me where I am right for them because we are who we are and not some fakes trying to snag someone in a web of lies.

I very much agree. And, I'm starting to think that being alone is better for me anyway.

[Pa3s]

@ aixelsyd:
Yes, I agree as well. This is exactly the other side of this issue. The possible negative effects of a relationship are often neglected, but they're always an option. I also think it's better to wait and see how the things develop rather than to panic and just try to get in a relationship with someone, this would be pointless. And once you're caught in such a situation, it might not be so easy to get out of it again. I know people who have a kind of 'second personality' which they activate if their SO's are in sight. I think it's never a good idea to do something like this because you can't keep it up your whole life. Your partner suddenly sees a totally different person in you and is disappointed.

[Beautiful sky]

Oh bullshit. This is not the time to doubt yourself or be overmodest. Say what you want. "Being witty" is not unattainable.

Doubting that you could be is clearly your first step towards getting there.

No. I'm a conceptual type so I don't agree with your comment...from an Fi perspective, I have observed in Ne (a pattern) that most extraverted types are much more witty and quick paced with words because they look outside themselves to gather words that express certain thoughts of wittiness they want to express, which is a difficult thing to do with Introverts without sounding off beat, odd or whatever. So, yes, my conceptual thinking does tell me that this could be an inherent trait, especially one regarding Extraverts.

And, using my Ti role I make this into a system of recognizing E/I. It's abstract when you're trying to communicate feelings so it's so hard to find words.

Thank you.

Ryu,

Today I was thinking about my life, and choices that I've made. I want to learn how to decipher gut feelings, what they mean, and when they're warning me. An ability to discern which feelings to trust, and which I can ignore would be really beneficial.

That's hard without an Fe type; you can only hope that you are not stressed to the point where you let less and less subconscious insight out. So be relaxed more and you'll let more subconscious decisions with regards to Fe come out to the consciousness.

I also want to not bring anyone down with me. I can forget to take into account how my actions will affect other people sometimes. I want to stop forgetting that.

Introverted feelings are inhibiting your decisions, try to let them not influence your decision more and do as extraverts would do...be more short sighted

And finally, I want to let go. Just drop all the ideas and planning, and trying, and walk away from the futile. It's against my nature to give up, but there are some things where no amount of pushing or trying will accomplish anything. It's better to leave before I get myself in too deep.

Yeah, the trust thing is very Fe valuing.

[twizzlestix]

Socionics tends to get us to think in a sense that is ...... "well what does socionics say?" - that is, trying to create explanations or reasoning for what we observe in ourselves and others.

Let's flip it around and think about what we want ourselves to be like. I doubt it will happen, but, I encourage you to not use socionics terminology at all here. Rather, think about the kind of person you want to be, regardless of what theories about how you ought to act 'say' or 'predict'.

I think this would be more beneficial to think about in terms of something you could actually become - as in "I will be someone who has a firm grasp of their finances" or "I'm someone who brings positivity to other people by helping them relate better with others", or whatever - - rather than "I want to be able to fly through the air!"


I have no idea how this will go. Maybe it should be something like, when you realize something that you'd like to get better at or a way to expand as a person, say it here.



Here's an example from my life:
I want to be someone who masters my expenditure of personal resources - like time and energy. There are a lot of old habits and old ways of doing things that I'm used to, but, I want to change those into things that really bring me fulfillment or benefit. I want to be someone who's actions are a reflection of conscious choice rather than being caught up in the tides of whatever the norm is around me.

This is a great question. It's interesting to read the istp's posts on this. I've always seen the potential for them to do all the things they want to do. All the things mentioned are things I knew they could do well. They just need to believe it's possible, to look beyond what is right in front of them and realise THEY rule their destiny. The way it is, isn't the way it has to be, things can be different. You can be different. Who better to prove that miracles are possible than jesus himself, the enfp. Enfp's really can make all their dreams come true. Literally. Aww! lol.

I made out a plan for the new year that involves getting a new ass. I've had enough of this lazy ass. I want to live in the moment and stop bloody worrying about every little thing and analyzing how every little thing anyone says relates back to socionics. I want to get swepped away in a movie or a song or a conversation and forget about everything. I want to be less sensitive and have peoples criticisms just roll off my back. I want to be more efficient with my time and energy. I want to stop being so fucking self absorbed. And yeah I worry about being witty and it's fucking retarded and makes a person less witty cos when you're trying too hard you're just a liar. Or at least feel like one. I want to do something with socionics at some stage that will have an impact on the world around me. I want to do something no one else has done before. I want people to listen to my music and be swepped away into another world and made to feel they are not alone.

[jewels]

while I really enjoyed everyone's responses, I found this one to be really cool. A lot of passion there:

I'd like to be more emotionally stable so as to better deal with the ups and downs of everyday life, always keeping in mind some objective, external focus of steadfast determination. If there's adversity, it will just roll off my back as I push my way through completely unaffected.

I'd like to be the person about whom everyone says, "nothing ever gets under his skin. Tell him, ask him, he'll know what to do, he'll take care of it." That solid figure who takes cares of his friends and family and can be trusted absolutely.

I'd like to be able to walk around with the constantly feeling and recognition that I am always and completely free to make my own choices, the antithesis of being a constant victim of circumstance.

I'd like my body to be a well-honed machine - strong, flexible, quick, enduring, trusted.

I'd like my mind to be able to evaulate any argument, claim, or statement of alleged fact across a wide-variety of disciplines from the sciences to the humanities. A jack-of-all-trades of the mind, wherein the journey is no less satisfying than the destination.

I'd like to express images and emotions through a variety of media - not limited to pencil, painting, film, digital design, and writing - serving to inspire my audience as so many others have inspired me.

I'd also like to be able to enjoy the process and method, realizing that in very few circumstances will I ever reach an 'end', save for my own death!

I would like to, well I really don't know. Oh, I know. I'd like to be more organized with the gazillion small details floating around. Like bank accounts and passwords I can never remember and all of the thing I forget, and then forget to remember. I hate that stuff!! And taxes. Geez I hate taxes. I don't want to be better at them though. I just want them to go away.

I'd also like to make a million dollars. I guess I'll find out what I need to be better at in the process of trying to accomplish that

[Park]

I'd like to be more emotionally stable so as to better deal with the ups and downs of everyday life, always keeping in mind some objective, external focus of steadfast determination. If there's adversity, it will just roll off my back as I push my way through completely unaffected.

I'd like to be the person about whom everyone says, "nothing ever gets under his skin. Tell him, ask him, he'll know what to do, he'll take care of it." That solid figure who takes cares of his friends and family and can be trusted absolutely.

I'd like to be able to walk around with the constantly feeling and recognition that I am always and completely free to make my own choices, the antithesis of being a constant victim of circumstance.

[Suz]

I'd like to be more emotionally stable so as to better deal with the ups and downs of everyday life, always keeping in mind some objective, external focus of steadfast determination. If there's adversity, it will just roll off my back as I push my way through completely unaffected.

I'd like to be the person about whom everyone says, "nothing ever gets under his skin. Tell him, ask him, he'll know what to do, he'll take care of it." That solid figure who takes cares of his friends and family and can be trusted absolutely.

I'd like to be able to walk around with the constantly feeling and recognition that I am always and completely free to make my own choices, the antithesis of being a constant victim of circumstance.

I'd like my body to be a well-honed machine - strong, flexible, quick, enduring, trusted.

I'd like my mind to be able to evaulate any argument, claim, or statement of alleged fact across a wide-variety of disciplines from the sciences to the humanities. A jack-of-all-trades of the mind, wherein the journey is no less satisfying than the destination.

I'd like to express images and emotions through a variety of media - not limited to pencil, painting, film, digital design, and writing - serving to inspire my audience as so many others have inspired me.

I'd also like to be able to enjoy the process and method, realizing that in very few circumstances will I ever reach an 'end', save for my own death!

So, you basically want to be an SLI... I hear ya, I want to be one too

[Creepy-Snaps]

I want to be a banana. An intelligent, self-satisfied, ripe-green banana. A banana fitting firmly inside a 24 oz. bottle of Mountain Dew. And feeling like I'm accomplishing something for a higher power.

[Suz]

I want to be a banana. An intelligent, self-satisfied, ripe-green banana. A banana fitting firmly inside a 24 oz. bottle of Mountain Dew. And feeling like I'm accomplishing something for a higher power.

so you basically just want to do nothing. Wont you get majorly bored?

[Slacker]

I agree with being more emotionally stable, although I am much much more emotionally stable than I was when I was young. Having kids mellowed me, which is just as well or I'd scare them.

I'd like to not forget things. Like things I have to do and places I have to be.

I wish I had some kind of talent or something. I'm really a bit good at a lot of things and not particularly good at anything. I'd rather be bad at most things but really awesome at one.

[Nowisthetime]

I'd like to be someone to whom everything just happens. Like I don't have to do any work or planning myself.

Since this is not possible I'd like to be better at taking responsibility for my own life and do the things I need to do to get what I want.

[DirectorAbbie]

I want to be a banana. An intelligent, self-satisfied, ripe-green banana. A banana fitting firmly inside a 24 oz. bottle of Mountain Dew. And feeling like I'm accomplishing something for a higher power.

That's it-set your goals high. I wish you luck.

[force my hand]

So, you basically want to be an SLI... I hear ya, I want to be one too

Hah! I guess!

...not too bad a fate to want to be the person you (kinda) are.

[UDP]

I want to be able to not only convey wisdom but light a spark in other people so that they understand the value of and pursue clarity and understanding, beyond, hearsay and rhetoric-charged ways of seeing information.
.

[Skeptic]

Oh, a self improvement topic.

overcome addictions of entertainment, people, sex, various every day drugs like caffiene, conditioned beliefs, poor food, fantasies of future relationships and achievements, essentially all fruitless instincts and hedonistic desires. That's an incomplete list, but I believe I've overcome approximately half of it at this point.

Then I can work on my diet, motivation, capacity for learning, reservoir of knowledge, frequency of exercise, sleep, spirituality, etc. to complete a long list of tasks that grow ever longer every day.

Hopefully the focus of my attention will always be selfless; there is enough self improvement that deals so closely with the self that it ignores everyone else as it is, and if I really do end up completing the above, happiness isn't something I can really look forward to, so selfish desires are fairly irrelevant at that point anyway.

[Creepy-]

More than anything, I would love to be more decisive, and to implement plans that I make. Also, perhaps I would like to be just a tiny bit more assertive (not much, as I'm not fond of over-assertiveness, but the lack of amount I can contain is ridiculous).

I also really would love to stop procrastinating so much on everything and doing nothing and be motivated to finish my school work on time and then learn more about other subjects afterward.

Lastly, I think I would like to delve into the more "spiritual" side of things...

How many of these will happen is yet to be sure...

[UDP]

I want to live

liiiikkkeeee animalsss

[lemon]

I want to figure out what I want to do with my future - where I "belong."

I want to better understand everything that goes on... in life (I have a way with words. lol). Sometimes I feel like I am looking at the world through a piece of paper with holes punched through it and I'm trying really hard to see all of what's on the other side of the paper. I want clarity, basically. I don't want fuzzy descriptions of what and why and how - I want precision. Or accuracy. Or one of those words.

I want to stop worrying about everybody's stupid feelings and what they're thinking. I want to finally figure out why people react so strangely to me sometimes... more than anything I would like to turn off my "emotion-radar" sometimes.

Sometimes I feel like my life is cluttered; I would like to organize it.

I would like to actually make some real friends who I can actually relate to and who actually respect me and aren't superficial/interested in conversation if only it deals with matters relating to "guess who just had gay sex with Johnny WHOOOOO!!!"

[Nevero]

i want to learn how to be better at pulling myself up by the bootstraps when things get down. to be better traveled and to have a chance to do and experience everything that i wanted to.

[lemontrees]

Aw

This is like constant for me- my entire life is based upon "improving myself."

When I think about why I want to improve myself it's often two-fold; a) I want to become someone worthy of love and respect (in my eyes and also to attract an "other") and b) I want to have something to contribute to myself and others.

It changes though. I'm not so good at improving myself haha. But every week/month/year I try to do something that helps a little overall. The other week I told a friend to his face that I wasn't interested in pursuing anything with him (in a nice but clear way), rather than hedge about it, and I was really proud of myself. Last week I completed an assignment for work that I thought was really hard, and while it wasn't perfect, I managed to get something done in the end that I was proud of. As long as I feel like I'm "doing a little better" overall, I feel safe even when I regress.

But eventually, I'm going to grow into this person who's actually going to engage with the world, have adventures, do great things etc (in my head...)

[Amber]

I would have liked to be a Social E 5. It would have made things so much easier.

[Persephone]

I would have liked to be a Social E 5. It would have made things so much easier.

I noticed aging helps a lot...

I would like a bit more of Se to be able to take bold decisions and live them out.