this is probably something i'm going to want to delete later, but argh.
um, hypothetical person feels sort of a compulsive desire to dig out their character flaws and put them up for examination...its not FUN for them but it feels sort of necessary in part because they want to connect with people in an honest way (by being transparent), in part because its sort of like a neurotic picking at themselves (similar to somebody picking at a hangnail, except with the "self," heh), and partly for this sort of indescribable feeling of needing to confess and purge or something. but mostly the first reason.
its like this dream i had once where i met this guy and found out that for the last several weeks he had been reading my mind. and i was horrified and ashamed of all the disturbing and "bad" things he must have seen and i was apologizing to him for that. but then he was like, no, youre still a good person. and the relief i felt was amazing. it was the only time i've ever woken up crying.
sorry for the emoness of this thread, lol. maybe i should be talking to a therapist instead of you guys, but hell.
i was thinking this might be enneagram related. i'm not completely settled into my enneagram type. sounds kind of 4-ish, maybe?
also, can anyone relate or does anyone even know what the hell i'm talking about? lol.